December 16th, 2009

“Okay, so your required training is over for the day, but I’d recommend staying here longer.” Jiae said calmly, as if they had only been at this for an hour or two as opposed to all day. Cassandra rolled her eyes. She was getting out of here as soon as this meeting was over. Like hell she was skipping dinner to get ordered around by some washed up wannabe rapper.

“Alright, get going.” Jiae said, waving a hand flippantly. Cassandra immediately stood up and made her way out of the room. She walked as quickly as she could without seeming unnatural. She didn’t want to get stopped by any of her groupmates. She really wasn’t interested in dealing with them anymore than she had to. 

Thankfully, nobody tried to stop her while she made her escape out of the building. She only stopped when she was a little ways down from the building. She wasn’t really sure what she wanted to do now that she was free from the company. She huffed slightly, before heading towards a small convenience store. She released a breath of relief when the warm heat of the building washed over her. The cashier called out a bright greeting. Cassandra grunted lightly in response, a little taken aback by the seemingly genuine greeting. She quickly grabbed a six pack of beer and some snacks before heading back to the counter. She casually dropped the items on the counter avoiding eye contact with the young cashier.

“Is that everything?” The girl asked pleasantly. Cassandra paused for a moment before replying.

“Yeah, that’s it.” She said, briefly glancing up at the girl.

“Okay then!” She chirped, “Could I see your id?” She asked. Cassandra immediately pulled her id out of her wallet and handed it over. The girl gave it a quick look over before handing it back with a smile. The rest of the interaction blew past, with Cassandra quickly handing more money than she would have preferred for the snacks and beer. She took her treasures and walked out the door into the cold winter air. She quickly headed back to the small apartment that she was sharing with a friend.

Jiyeon immediately turned her attention to her as Cassandra slammed the door shut behind her; kicking her shoes off on her way to the kitchen. She dropped the beer and snacks onto the counter before shedding her coat and scarf. Jiyeon must have seen something on her face because she asked.

“Oh wow, bad day?” She said, turning her attention away from her reading to focus on Cassandra.

“You could say that.” Cassandra muttered grumpily, fulling turning her attention to Jiyeon. Jiyeon giggled and pulled one of the beer cans free and cracked it open. Cassandra also grabbed one and chugged half of it. Jiyeon smirked at her before grabbing her shirt and pulled her down so that they were eye level.

“Want me to make it better?” She murmured seductively. Cassandra hesitated for a moment. Honestly, she wasn’t really in the mood. But…Jiyeon didn’t typically care if she was in the mood or not. If Jiyeon was in the mood, it was happening. So Cassandra just allowed herself to be pulled down even closer to Jiyeon. Jiyeon pressed their lips together, before pulling back slightly.

“Come on.” She murmured, standing up and pulling Cassandra along behind her. Cassandra found herself being pulled to her own room. Once they got into the room, Jiyeon began to back Cassandra up, before pushing her down onto the bed. Jiyeon then climbed on top of Cassandra.

*****

Cassandra laid in her bed and stared listlessly at the ceiling of her room. Jiyeon had already left, claiming that she needed to finish up her readings for the night. She never stayed longer than was absolutely necessary. So now Cassandra was left with the feeling of being lost and used. Today had been a strange day and she wasn’t sure that she liked it. Her groupmates weren’t really people that she normally hung out with. And once again, she was feeling that she didn’t like the way that the group’s concept was heading.

Cassandra groaned and pushed herself up. It wouldn’t do her any good to lay in bed. She left her bedroom and fetched her beer and snacks. She then retreated back to her room doing her best to avoid eye contact with Jiyeon who was sitting at the table. She dropped the items on the floor and quickly made her way to the bathroom. She flipped on the tap of the shower and turned it to the warmest setting that she could stand. The warm water felt wonderful on her sore muscles. She grumbled slight and pulled her hair up into a bun, deciding that she didn’t want to wash it tonight. 

Cassandra stayed in the bath a lot longer than was probably necessary, but hell if she hadn’t earned it. Now she just wished that she had thought to bring a beer in with her. Too late now, she wasn’t going to get out until she was ready. Eventually though, she climbed out of the bath. At that point her fingers had turned all pruney.

The beer was still where she left it, thank god. Jiyeon had a nasty habit of stealing things out of her room. And no matter how many times that Cassandra had told her to stop. Jiyeon never did. Cassandra was brought out of her thoughts by a knock on her door. All Cassandra could manage was a disinterested grunt in response. Her bedroom door was pushed open and Jieun came through. Jiyeon smiled at her before making her way over to Cassandra who was laying on her bed. Cassandra got the impression that she was wanting something specific from her. Something that Cassandra might not want to be involved in.

“Can I stay in here tonight? My room’s cold.” Jiyeon asked flirtatiously as she made her way over to the bed. Cassandra took a deep breath and considered her options. She could say no-She was tired after all, and she had an early day tomorrow. But, Jiyeon would be pissed if she said no. And would probably hold it against her enough to kick her out for the night. 

“Sure.” She muttered quietly, taking a huge swig of beer. God, she just wanted to sleep. Why could she not catch a break? Jiyeon giggled, and crawled onto the bed with Cassandra. She quickly pressed a kiss to Cassandra’s mouth. Cassandra sighed tiredly and closed her eyes. Jiyeon pulled back with a frown.

“Tired?” She asked searchingly. Cassandra took a deep breath and thought about how she wanted to answer that. 

“Yeah.” She said, deciding that she would rather just go with something basic. She didn’t want to expose her inner feelings to Jiyeon. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to trust anyone after Jaesun’s betrayal. Not even the people that she trusted before everything had been destroyed. She closed her eyes and did her best to will back the tears when she thought about the events of that night, and after that night. Cassandra could almost hear Yeseul’s nasty phone call the night after. 

There was no contact between the two of them after that. And with Yeseul went all the other friends she had made after coming to South Korea. 

Now she was alone. Even with another person in the apartment. In her bed even. Cassandra Kim was completely alone. And that is how she wanted to stay. Her heart and trust were shattered. She was jerked out of her thoughts when Jiyeon shoved her face closer to hers and pressed another kiss to her lips. 

“Do you remember the night we first met?” She asked sweetly. Cassandra eyes flew open, staring at the other woman in shock. Did she remember? How was she supposed to forget?

*****

The club pulsed with music and Cassandra’s body seemed to pulse along with it. She glanced around at the mass at people grinding up against each other on the dance floor. There were so many of them that she could barely tell where one person started and another began. She sighed tiredly and swirled her drink around in the glass. Her boyfriend had brought her here and then left her, quickly disappearing back stage. She was happy to come and see him perform, but she hadn’t expected to be abandoned all on her own. 

She sighed again and looked back up at the stage, wondering how much longer she was going to have to wait to see the performance. Before tonight, she didn’t know that this was even an option. She could rap, that’s all that she wanted to do in her life. Performing her could be just what she needed to further her career. She had never been taken seriously, not even by the person who claimed to love her. She was startled out of her thoughts when a beautiful dropped down onto the bar stool next to her. Cassandra flushed uncomfortably, as the woman was staring at her. The look on her face said that Cassandra was a pathetic speck.

“If you’re going to just sit around and sigh. You might as well just go home.” She said dryly, “You’re ruining the atmosphere.” She continued, with a disgusted sniff. Cassandra scowled and turned her attention back to her drink, not really wanting to interact with this person. The woman scoffed, “God you don’t even stand up for yourself.” Disgust was coloring her tone. Cassandra didn’t respond and the woman stood up and flounced away. 

Cassandra sighed tiredly and turned her attention to the stage, as a relatively short man came out on the stage and began to hype the crowd up. She tried to get into it, but her thoughts were heavily weighed down. Jaesun jumped up on the stage and Cassandra focused all of her attention onto him, wanting to be supportive. 

Eventually, Jaesun left the stage, leaving an excited crowd behind. Cassandra jumped up and began to make her way through the crowd towards where Jaesun had gone earlier. She wanted to go home, she wanted out of this place, with the bad thoughts that it brought to her. The bouncer at the door gave her a look, but stepped aside, allowing her into the backstage area. 

Cassandra began to search for Jaesun, quietly wandering through the area. It didn’t take long for her to find him. But, she almost wished that she hadn’t as when she had found her boyfriend, he had a beautiful black haired girl hanging off of him. To make matters worse, they were kissing. Cassandra stopped before turning around and walking away as quickly as she could. She felt a little panicked, and shoved her way out of the door, flinging herself into the crowd.

*****

Cassandra shook herself of the thoughts of that night, trying to hold back the tears that were welling behind her eyes. That night was the whole reason that she was where she was right now. Forget? How was that even possible. But, she stayed silent and allowed Jiyeon to cuddle up with her, pressing kisses to her exposed neck. 

She wasn’t sure how much more of this she could take. It was draining, and she knew that Jiyeon could tell. It was only a matter of time before Jiyeon would get tired of her and throw her out on the street. Just like the last girl. That meant that she only had one option. Debut with Bloom. That way she would have a dorm to stay in and a chance to go her own way. She’d only have to wait seven years. She would just have to do better. No matter what.

December 20th, 2009

Chaeyeon stared at the other girls that were supposed to be in her new group. It was bizarre to think that she was going to be in this group. A group with three foreigners in it to boot. Thankfully, two of them could speak proper Korean, because she sure as wasn’t going to be using any other language. She scowled at Kannika and Hitomi who were conversing in English of all things. The third foreigner was watching them, likely listening in. Chaeyeon had originally tried that, but her English was so terrible that she could barely even recognized the work that they were using. Maybe she should have studied English harder in high school, instead of just paying someone to do her homework for her.

Nah. That would have been ing stupid. If she had studied, she wouldn’t have had time to have fun!

Besides, it’s not like two of those three would hanging around for much longer. It was more likely that the group would become a trio or Chaeyeon would just debut on her own. She’d preferred the later option. After all, that way she would have the spotlight to herself. Besides it’s not like Eunsuh was that impressive. And Cassandra had been nothing but disobedient since the announcement was made. Or at least she had been, up until a couple of days ago. Now she was keeping silent and seemed to be completely focused on the dance that Shiwoo had shown them yesterday. Chaeyeon could see that their trainer was beginning to look almost impressed by the improvement. 

Speaking of Shiwoo, she had been surprised to find out how hot he was. She had been distracted the first day, so she hadn’t really noticed. She had ended up getting very distracted by his muscular body and sweaty visage. Maybe he could be her next target, as he seemed pretty innocent if she had to be honest. Those were her favorite targets; the ones who didn’t know anything about anything. They were easier to pull in. They were also the most fun to dump and leave in the dust. They often begged her to take them back.

She never did, but it was cute to see them try.

She sighed happily and leaned back on the mirror. God, what a nice thought. Maybe she should go out and party tonight. She could find so poor sad er to exploit, bang and never speak to again. Technically, that plan would go against the company’s rules that they were now required to follow. But, if no one found out, it wouldn’t be a problem. She would probably be the last member that the company would get rid of. Like, she was the most beautiful and talented member; the others were just average in every way. If even that. Chaeyeon glanced back over to Cassandra, who had started the dance over; now helping Hitomi follow along. God, for someone who had been training for two years, you’d think she would be a better dancer. Chaeyeon made a point to meet Hitomi’s eyes in the mirror and smirked, purposefully allowing a disdainful look to cross her face. It was always fun to make insecure people even more ins