V

Warmth

Baekhyun sleeps fitfully that night, and he blames it on Jongdae.

He tells himself it’s because Jongdae’s presence unnerves him, but as he stares at the ceiling, it’s not Jongdae’s presence that unnerves him but actually Jongdae’s words that really keep him awake.

It’s odd, Baekhyun muses to himself, how he said it. He can recall the exact words and the more he repeats it to himself in his head, the more it confuses him. Refusing to send him away just because his presence makes Jonghui happy seems to be a ridiculous kind of excuse. Placing someone’s temporary happiness over long term well-being (not that he’s a bad person, nor does he actually want to be sent away) is also ridiculous. The more he thinks about it, the less it makes sense until he finally confuses himself to sleep, though the only thing that greets him are fragmented, nonsensical memories.

When he finally jolts awake, he’s broken out in a cold sweat and breathing heavily. The darkness in the room is suffocating and he fumbles to turn on the bedside lamp.

Baekhyun leans against the headboard for a while, trying to calm his stuttering heart. He’s unsure of why he feels so strangely terrified, but whatever the reason, he wants the feeling gone as soon as possible.

Conveniently, someone knocks on his door, and subsequently, Jonghui’s voice sounds. “Are you awake?” she calls quietly.

On any other occasion, Baekhyun might’ve ignored her or pretended to go back to sleep, because he still tries to steer clear of Jonghui’s presence if he can. It’s not that part of his mind that answers, however, but the part that speaks before he can think and that contains his true feelings and wants.

“Yeah,” he calls back. His throat is parched when he speaks, and the words are hard to get out.

The door creaks slightly as it’s opened and Jonghui sticks her head in. The light from the hallway illuminates her, softly, and she smiles at him. “I thought I’d take you outside for once,” she tells him, “You know, you’ve actually been cramped in here for eleven days.” She lets out a light, slightly awkward laugh, and it resonates through the silence. Something about her laughter makes Baekhyun feel better. “I was honestly busy, but I should at least take you around Seoul, now that I think of it. We can tour it together today.”

“Tour… Seoul?” The idea’s never occurred to Baekhyun, and frankly, it sounds a bit intimidating. Here’s never toured anywhere or cared enough to check the places on earth before and Jonghui’s offer is also extremely out of the blue.

“Mmhm. I figured that Jongdae probably gave you an earful last night, but I was really tired and I didn’t want to argue with him over sleeping. I’ll leave him a note and we can have breakfast outside too.” Another blinding smile. “Sound like a plan?”

The way Jonghui stares at him was intense, almost like she’s looking for something else other than a simple yes. It’s hard to think when it’s so early in the morning, but he remembers Jongdae mentioning something about suspecting him to be a wanted criminal. It takes a while for it to click, though. “I’m not a fugitive,” he says slowly, trying to recall everything Jongdae blamed him to be, “nor am I in a gang. So taking me outside isn’t going to prove anything.”

Jonghui appears unfazed. “It’s a bonus that you’re not,” she replies, cheerily, “but I still think we should go. Unless you don’t want to.”

Baekhyun feels scrutinized under her gaze. She obviously still doesn’t believe him but he doesn’t really want to spend the whole day dragged around Seoul by Jonghui to prove a point that’s useless to him. But then again, he’s never actually done anything fun being cramped up in the apartment, and perhaps… it would be fun touring Seoul with Jonghui.

“Seriously, Baekhyun,” she says before he can protest, “Jongdae’s going to continue to chew you out if you stay here at home. Give him a day or so to cool off or you’ll both be sullen and angry at the end of the day.”

“Well…” The prospect of being away from Jongdae is tempting, because spending a day in the same house as Jongdae is almost unspeakably scary. “I…”

“Great. Get dressed, grab a coat— get one of my brother’s— and we’ll leave!”

Baekhyun doesn't even have time to protest when the door shuts again and for some reason, he does as Jonghui says. He rejects it over and over when he pulls on jeans and a shirt, but he really does kind of want to go with Jonghui. Maybe it’s the cheerful way she smiles, or the encouragement in her voice, or maybe in the end, it’s the prospect of not having to spend the whole day in the same building as Jongdae. He decides on the last option.

***

It’s very early when they leave and the air has a crisp feel to it. To Baekhyun, who hasn’t stepped out in almost two weeks, the feeling is overwhelmingly nice. He takes a deep breath in and thinks that it wasn’t such a terrible idea to go with Jonghui.

It’s a bit chilly, but the coat she gave him (it’s Jongdae’s, and Baekhyun’s less than happy to wear it but she really leaves him with no choice, so he accepts the coat) is warm and soon, they’re both holding cups of warm drinks and Baekhyun is carefully concentrating on not burning himself while Jonghui blows on hers. They sit on a bench, facing the sun, which is beginning to rise. From faraway, Baekhyun can hear the noises of the cars and traffic, but the park they’re currently in is secluded from the noise.

Jonghui takes a sip of her drink. “Where do you want to go? We have to eat breakfast in a bit. It’s almost seven thirty.”

Baekhyun shrugs, though nonchalance isn’t easy to fake. “I don’t really care,” he replies, but his attention isn’t on what Jonghui’s saying anymore, but the sky.

He’s never really bothered to watch sunrises and he can faintly recall seeing a couple when he was still an angel, but back then, he hadn’t really cared or felt any appreciation for them. Now, sitting on the bench, feeling strangely small in the midst of the empty park with Jonghui, he sees the sunrise clearly for the first time.

Mutely, he marvels at the colors the clouds are dyed as the first rays of the sun begin to peak from the horizon. It’s a majestic sight, and mentally, he makes a note to himself to watch to sunrise more (and perhaps to even go outside more).

“I like sunrises,” Jonghui says quietly. “A lot of people say sunrises and sunsets are similar, but there’s a huge difference between them.”

Baekhyun squints at her. He falls into the category of a lot of people, because he himself can’t really find many differences between the two. They appear the same in the memory. “There isn’t much of a difference,” he notes.

“Sunrises get brighter,” she explains as if he had asked her to, “While at nighttime, the sky gets darker when it’s a sunset. While a sunrise leads to daytime, a sunset leads to nighttime.”

Baekhyun shakes his head. “Is it bad to get darker?”

“Don’t you wish for the day more?”

He shrugs again. Her questions seem to hold an odd kind of complexity behind them, yet he can answer them with the simplest of answers. “Nighttime is for rest. There’s nothing I find bad about nighttime. The absence of light isn’t a bad thing, either. It’s like the absence of good won’t always equal evil.”

Jonghui looks taken back for a moment, but she doesn’t question his answer. “Let’s go get food,” she says instead. “I know a good tteokbokki stall around here.”

***

Baekhyun finds out that he can’t eat spicy food.

He also finds out that spicy food does not go well with hot drinks either.

There aren’t many people around them, though there’s another couple sitting at one of the tables talking quietly with each other. Jonghui buys a plate of food and gives him a pair of chopsticks to eat with, which Baekhyun does.

It tastes good (he still likes Jonghui’s cooking more, though he won’t ever tell her that) but the moment he eats two of them, his mouth starts to burn.

A moment later, the pain is full-blown and unbearable and he’s reached for his cup of warm coffee to sooth the pain on his tongue. Which doesn’t even prove useful because the hot liquid just intensifies the burn.

Jonghui looks perfectly fine when she looks up to meet his eyes, and her own eyes widen in surprise.

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