She could hear faint sounds like the tinkling of wind chimes. When she blinked her eyes open, Jiyeon found herself standing in the middle of a vast meadow. She could see a clear stream winding its way across the landscape with trees on either side. To her right were mountains in the distance. To her left were rolling green hills dotted with lush flowers and shrubs. Above her, the sky was a clear blue. There was not a single cloud as far as she could see. The temperature was perfect, caressed by gentle breezes. It was the most beautiful place she had ever laid eyes upon. No pollution!

Jiyeon became aware she was in a dream when she looked at herself. She was wearing something she had never worn: a white long sleeved dress that reached below her knees. Now aware she was dreaming, she decided to use her awareness to explore the 'light inside the book.'

"There is nothing more relaxing than being surrounded by Mother Nature." She smiled widely, admiring Mother Nature and her Colors. Her Beauty reminded her of love. Jiyeon loved being alone in Nature. Connecting with Nature was such a reminder of God's creation beyond what man could do. It brought peace and solace to her soul. "Many people consider themselves lucky to live in an era where they can enjoy an advanced technological world. However, what they do not seem to realize is that the more they get absorbed in technology, the more they are separating themselves from their roots, from Mother Earth." She shook her head.

Bending over, Jiyeon examined wildflowers at her side. Purple asters and sunny yellow goldenrod looked so stunning together. She its graceful silken petals with a gentle, reverent finger. "Why these two plants so often intermingle rather than living apart from one another?" She tapped her temple with a forefinger, trying to figure out the answer to her own question. "Maybe it's their colors; being opposites on the color wheel is the reason why they are attracted to one another." She beamed a smile, straightening up.

Spreading her arms, Jiyeon allowed the breeze to embrace her body and inhaled fresh air laced with the smell of wildflowers. Mother Nature loved and kissed her with each inhale. She could feel the energy of all that surrounded her pass through her, lifting her up. Her blissful moment was abruptly interrupted by a faint sound in the distance like that of a galloping horse. She turned her head to see a rider on a withe horse coming from one of the foothill trails. As the rider drew closer, she recognized him. He was none other than the man who claimed to be the voice of her heart.

"I'm glad you're finally here." Baekwoon reined his horse to a stop and jumped off. He let his horse run free and walked towards her. "I've been waiting for you to get here."

He has been waiting for me? I came here because he invited me to come?

Not a word being said, they stood there, scanning each other's bodies. He was clothed in all white: a white satin ruffle shirt and trench coat with a white pair of slacks and leather boots. He looked like a fairytale prince.

His mouth turned upwards into a huge smile. "My girl, you look so damn gorgeous in your dress," Baekwoon praised.

She raised her right hand, palm open, and slapped him across his left cheek. His hand flew up to rub his cheek with a look of puzzled astonishment. "What?" was all he could manage to utter.

Jiyeon didn't say anything, but a little smile crept across . It amazed her. She was communicating with the spirit of a dead person. After several beats of silence, she cleared . "Could you please stop calling me 'my girl'?" she said in a stern but polite tone. "Do you not feel ashamed to claim me, a stranger, as yours?"

"Why should I feel ashamed?" Baekwoon countered. "We aren't strangers. We know each other, and we have a history."

"We have a history?" She squinted her eyes, trying to remember. "I'm certain that we've never met."

"Just continue to deny the fact you enjoyed our kisses," he told her, raising his voice a little.

Why did you mention those kisses again? That was just a dream. Jiyeon let out a half laugh of disbelief. She watched his nostrils flare ever so slightly at the same time as his eyes narrowed. He then turned and walked away, leaving her behind.

"Where are you going!" she shouted.

He shot a glance over his shoulder and wrinkled his nose. She clicked her tongue, watching him speed up his pace, heading towards the stream. Facing the flowing water, he sat down on the grass and leaned his back against an old tree.

She'd like to get to know more about him, the man who sacrificed his life to save a stranger. Jiyeon walked towards him slowly and gently, each footfall making real contact with the earth, as if she was building a loving relationship with the earth. The feeling of her barefoot walking through the soft, grassy meadow was amazing. It felt so sensual and relaxing. Walking barefoot one could not but be deliriously happy.

Reaching the stream, she sat down on the grass, her feet dangling in the running stream. It was bitterly cold, but pleasantly soothing. The water was beautifully clear. The adorable green and red fishes could be seen peeking out from between the rocks. She wanted to wade into the stream and catch those fishes with her bare hands, but unfortunately she wore a white dress.

"The water will make my dress transparent." Jiyeon sighed. "I don't want him to see my body."

"No need to worry. Do whatever you want to do. I'll close my eyes," Baekwoon said, his voice reassuringly casual.

She glanced over her shoulder to see him pulling off his boots. She rose to her feet and turned to face him. "I don't believe you."

Setting his boots aside, he threw a glance up at her. "I don't understand why you never believe me."

"If you want me to believe you—" Jiyeon stepped towards him and sat cross legged on the grass in front of him. "Tell me who you really are."

He blew out a loud sigh. "You already know who I am."

"You know you haven't told me your name yet. Now, tell me, what's your name?" she responded slowly, in a low voice, making sure her tone didn't waver or hitch, emphasizing each word so he would know she was serious. Well, she already knew his name, but she truly wanted to hear it from his own lips.

Baekwoon took her hand and gently held it in his. A strange sensation skittered up Jiyeon's spine as his thumb caressed her palm. She immediately pulled her hand away. His expression turned profoundly gentle as he spoke, "Jiyeon, my name is Byun Baekwoon. I have a twin brother, and you've already met him. Annoying teacher is my aunt."

Finally, he told her who he really was. A feeling of joy bloomed in her heart. Spontaneously, Jiyeon stood on her knees and hugged him, a big smile adorning her face. Her smile vanished as she heard him let out a small gasp, and she quickly removed her arms, then sat back down, feeling a bit embarrassed. She took a deep breath. "Baekwoon, I'm sorry for being rude, for slapping you," she said, bowing her head slightly.

Baekwoon smiled, a slow, sweet smile that seemed to light up his whole face. "I accept your apology and do forgive you." His voice was gentle, compassionate.

As Jiyeon looked at his lips, she realized the more she denied the fact she did enjoy their kisses, the more she felt ashamed. Park Jiyeon, the only way to stop feeling ashamed is to stop denying it. She nodded slightly before she darted her gaze to his eyes. "What you said is right. I enjoyed our kisses," she told him in a soft confident voice.

His smile grew wider, showing off his perfect white teeth. "Thank you for saying that." He brought his mouth close to hers.

Before his lips could touch hers, Jiyeon poked his forehead with her index and middle fingers, saying, "No, don't. It's not love. It's lust. You're in lust, not in love."

"Didn't you just admit you enjoyed our kiss—"

"If you really do love me, respect me." Jiyeon raised her voice a notch, looking at him piercingly. "You know if comes before love, true love may never arrive."

A quick flash of emotion crossed his face. "I'm sorry," Baekwoon said, his voice barely audible, ducking his head down.

"It's okay. I forgive you." Jiyeon placed her hand on his shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze. "Let's just be friends."

Slowly, he raised his head and looked into her eyes. His eyes shimmered with tears, and she could see his lip tremble. "Y-you really don't—" Baekwoon looked away, wiping his tears.

Jiyeon heard him sniff, understood he was fighting tears. She did admire him for his humanity, but it seemed impossible to have a romantic relationship with him. They lived in a different world.

Baekwoon looked back at her and held out his pinky finger. "Okay, let's be friends." His voice cracked a bit. His cheeks were flushed, the tip of his nose red.

She nodded and hooked her pinky around his. "We're now friends."

They smiled at each other and kept eye contact. After a few moments of silence, Jiyeon spoke again, "Your aunt told me that you'd been diagnosed with schizophrenia. As your friend, I'd like to know why—"

"It was my fear of ghosts and dead people that led me to be diagnosed with schizophrenia. I was constantly worried that there were ghosts coming after me, especially at night. Most of the time, I knew these fears were unreasonable, but at times they were very real." Baekwoon cast his eyes down. "Whenever I heard a news of someone's death, I would hear a voice repeatedly calling my name or saying a phrase over and over. If the person who died was a man, I heard a man's voice. If the person who died was a woman, I heard a woman's voice. There were often figures moving around the edge of my vision or standing in the corner of the room. You know my psychiatrist told me that I suffered from schizophrenia after only asking me five questions. He said my brain had too much dopamine and that I needed to take medication for the rest of my life."

"And you believed him?"

He shook his head. "I never believed my problems were due to too much dopamine or another brain chemical. My problems were based on fear. I allowed my fear and my imagination to play together. Taking total control of my mind is how I completely turned my life around, something psychiatry/psychology can never do for anyone."

Jiyeon propped her left elbow on her hip and put her chin in the palm of her hand, watching him pluck a piece of grass and twirl it around one finger. "You knew your problems weren't caused by a "chemical imbalance" in your brain, so why the hell did you take "medication"? Your aunt told me you took "medication" anyway."

Baekwoon turned his gaze to her and smiled faintly. "My father begged me to take medication. Yes, I willingly obeyed him. He started to give me a lot of his attention and affection after knowing I had schizophrenia. Prior to that, he never paid attention to me. He focused all his attention on my brother."

"Sounds like you accepted that bull label and took "medication" because it was a way to get your father's attention. Am I right?" Jiyeon remarked as she ruffled his hair as if he were a child. He nodded, pinching her nose playfully. She clicked her tongue in annoyance, rubbing her nose. Then they looked into each other's eyes, laughing.  

Once the laughter subsided, Jiyeon added, "It's interesting when people say their brain has a "chemical imbalance" but yet there is no proper test that shows what brain chemical balance actually is. They blindly trust what "Gods in white coats" tell them. The fact is the "chemical imbalance" hypothesis was debunked decades ago—it's a hoax. What's even more interesting is when people say there are no "cures" for "mental illnesses". Of course, there are no "cures" as there are no diseases to begin with. Antidepressants are supposed to prevent suicide, but one of the possible side effects is suicidal ideation. How ironic! I do hope people who are accepting the mental illness myth, will look into its history."   

"Too often our problems are enshrined in the medico-philosophy 'iatrogenesis'." Baekwoon leaned back against the tree, his arms crossed. "The holy 'Bible' DSM is filled with iatrogenic disorders caused by psychiatric drugs."

"That's correct. Do you know our body is designed to heal itself? When we get a cut on our hand, it closes and heals itself. When a bone breaks, it knits itself back together when set in the proper position. Our body is amazing in its ability to heal itself. All we need to do is support it with the right tools. Mother Nature has provided those tools in foods, clean water and sunlight—" Jiyeon paused, gulping air. "I am not a conspiracy theorist; it is just basic logic: money is not in the cure, but in the treatment. Drugs are artificial chemicals created in a lab, which only treat symptoms with their potential nasty side effects; they do not 'cure'. There is absolutely no profit potential in finding a 'cure' for any disease. Once you're cured, you don't go back. Easy math. By the way, human is not a drug deficiency."      

"I agree with you that the body knows how to heal itself and human is not a drug deficiency, but—" Baekwoon leaned forward to take her hand and gave her a serious look as he added, "Don't try to tell anyone to drop their doctor and take up any alternative med—"  

"It's absurd calling the body's natural healing powers "alternative medicine". No worries. I will never tell anyone to do anything outside of their belief system," Jiyeon cut him off, "I'm sure there are 'natural' doctors who really want to help people."        

Immediately, his expression changed as a grin replaced his serious expression. "Most people seem to think doctors have more knowledge about their bodies than they do, but you're definitely not one of them." 

"I'm educated, and I know my body better than anyone else. Knowing modern medicine was all created on the basis of unethical and inhuman Nazi experiments, I will never ever see any medical doctor. I trust the healing wisdom and intelligence of my body," Jiyeon told him as she tried to pull her hand away, but he held it firmly and looked deeply into her eyes. "Let me repeat again: human is not a drug deficiency. Science, just like history, is told with inherent bias."

"'Don't blindly trust scientists' is what you want to say?" Baekwoon responded. His eyes never left hers as he released his hold only slightly.

She nodded, smiling faintly. "Scientists, being humans, are prone to error, ego and greed. We must remain skeptical and examine the empirical evidence. Properly speaking, there is no such thing as settled science. Why? How many variables can you control in a study? If you claim that science is settled, you're believing dogma. Well, believing is much easier than calculus," Jiyeon explained. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not against science. What I don't like about science is how it is being used to create dangerous weapons that have harmed Mother Nature, to deceive people and eliminate people whom the elites deem undesirables, worthless beings from this earth, e.g., Darwinian Eugenics."

"I couldn't agree more." Baekwoon finally released his hold. Again, he leaned back against the tree and crossed his arms behind his head, his eyes still fixed on her. Jiyeon straightened her back and placed her hands on her knees, palms up and her thumbs and index touching. She held his gaze like they were having a staring contest.

In her eyes, there was one true genius scientist: Nikola Tesla. He was genius without greed, who died in poverty despite the commercial nature of his incredible inventions and had been accused of being a mad scientist. What Jiyeon learned from him was: you can only learn about something when you change your perspective towards it in a different way.

'Don't stare directly into the sun; it will cause blindness' was something Jiyeon had heard countless times, leading her to wonder: is staring directly into the sun really that dangerous? The sun provides the energy for all plants to grow—it's the most important source of energy on Earth, how can it be dangerous? If she believed in what science told her, it was a belief but not knowledge or direct experience; hence, instead of believing in what science told her, she followed her instincts. Her instincts told her to look directly into the sun—the only way to find out the truth. Yes, she had tested the theory 'staring at the sun leads to blindness' for two weeks when she was in her first year of university.  

On the first day, Jiyeon did sun gazing in the morning, around 7:40 a.m., standing barefoot on the grass. At first, it was like staring at a giant ball of fire. What she did was to focus on it. Just as natural tears started to form in her eyes, interesting she saw a white circle sending rays—and shortly afterwards, another bright object appeared right next to it, which dazzled her right eye. She blinked, squeezing her eyes lightly to produce more tears; then widened her eyes, which helped her see clearly two white circles sending rays—so beautiful and wonderful that words simply couldn't describe it. And those two white circles gradually turned black. The sky around them turned a soft blush pink. Two black circles—it was an optical illusion or what? A gamut of emotions engulfed her all at once: awe, disbelief, excitement, wonder. For three to five minutes, she gazed into two black circles. She felt like she was staring eyeballs to eyeballs, and when she closed one of her eyes, she could only see one sun: a black circle. After sun gazing, her vision became a bit dim, but it only lasted a few seconds, and she only experienced this on the first day of her observation.

The second day, third day, and so forth, she did sun gazing thrice: in the morning, in the midday, around 12:10 p.m. and in the afternoon, around four o'clock. Jiyeon had proven the theory 'staring at the sun leads to blindness' complete nonsense. Instead of going blind, her eyesight became sharper and clearer. She could look directly into the sun for as long as she liked at anytime. Gazing directly into the sun is not dangerous; the natural tears protect the eyes and act as a natural contact lens that increases the clarity of vision. Were there two suns in the sky? No, there weren't; those were just lens flares. She had no doubt that the sun is not yellow, orange or white; the sun is actually black. People would likely judge her insane moron for believing the sun is black, but who cared? Her belief was based on her own observation, not based on others' assumption, science textbooks or holy books.

Living in a world where money is more important than humanity, more important than the natural world, more important than our spiritual well-being, I can only trust what I experience. Jiyeon laughed, impressed that she could recall the past experiences of her waking life while she was in a dream. She felt like there was no difference between being lucid in waking life and being lucid in a dream. Her laughter got louder, and she began clapping her hands.

Suddenly, she felt a splash of cold water hit her face. "Wake up, sweetie!" Her eyes flew open to see the figure belonging to the voice standing beside her, holding a glass of water.

Jiyeon blinked several times, then eased herself into a sitting position. She looked at her mother. "Mom, why did you splash water on me?" she asked, annoyance obvious in her voice. As she wiped her face on her sleeve, she felt a tug at her heart. She felt sad that she woke up. She wanted to enjoy Mother Nature and stay with Baekwoon a bit longer. His reason for taking psychiatric "medication" made her feel sympathy towards him.

Her mother let out an audible sigh. "Why were you laughing in your sleep?" She sat down on her bed.

"You heard me laughing?" Jiyeon's voice rose in surprise and puzzlement.

Her mother nodded, handing the glass to her. "Were you having a dream?"

"Yes." Jiyeon took the glass, raised it to her lips and drained her drink in one long gulp. "Thank you, Mom." She handed the empty glass back to her. Her mother's gaze lingered on her face, inscrutable, but staring and intense. She felt increasingly uncomfortable under her gaze.

"Mom, please stop staring at me," she said in a soft, polite tone. "If you want to ask me something, just ask."

"You were dreaming about that man again, right? What were you doing with him? Just kissing or having ?" her mother questioned.

Her accusing tone stabbed Jiyeon's heart. She held her intense gaze, not flinching. "We were just talking, no , no kissing," she countered through clenched teeth. "Mom, I'm not a stupid woman, and I love myself too much. I will never have before marriage. Even if in a dream, I won't do it."

Her mother's eyes softened. She smiled. "I'm glad to hear you say that, Sweetie. You respect and value yourself. A person who truly loves you will respect your values as much as you do. Your dad and I couldn't be more proud of you," her mother said in a soft, gentle voice that comforted her soul like a warm breeze. A bright, dancing smile adorned Jiyeon's face as her mother caressed her cheek lovingly. "Now go take a shower. A young man is waiting for you outside the house. He said he is your student," she added before she rose to her feet and walked out of her room.

"Young man, my student?" Jiyeon repeatedly nodded, thinking; then smiled. "Taeyong? Maybe he has found the real culprit." She glanced at the clock on the bedside table. The clock read 08:35 a.m. She hopped off the bed and jogged to the bathroom.