Paris, France

Present days

 

“Come on, you guys are here in Paris, but Taekwoon’s the only one who’s nice enough to let me know!” Sojin playfully hit Hongbin’s arm.

“Did he tell you that Hyoshin’s also here?”

Sojin froze at the mention of his name.

“Eh?”

 

Nobody told him that she was coming over. Nobody told him how he should be prepared for what next to come, yet suddenly Park Sojin was right before his eyes, froze and puzzled.

He stopped dead in his track. The air turned dense when their gaze met. Three years had passed, but she was still as beautiful as he remembered. He momentarily held his breath.

There was a period of time when he put all the blame to her for leaving him and left his heart and mind all scattered. There was a period of time when he was angry at her, if not at himself. He tried to despise her and dispose all trace of her completely from his life, but to hate, he later found out, requires a lot of his strength and energy. He didn’t have enough strength and energy to hate her. He tried to forget his anger, but in order to be able to forget, he needed to forgive and make peace with himself first.

He realized he couldn’t meet her eyes without being indignant, not when the feelings from the past flood his mind all at once. It wasn’t fair for her to be treated like that, but she wasn’t fair to him in the first place either.

He knew he won his little game of revenge when her longing eyes turned crestfallen at his cold demeanor. He kept telling himself that she deserved it, but somehow deep inside, he knew he was going to regret it all his life.

…

 

 

Seoul, South Korea

Three years earlier

 

Hyoshin heard the door to his studio burst open and somebody stormed inside, interrupting a conversation that had been going on between him, his managers, and his legal team. He didn’t have to look up to find out who caused the commotion, for he kind of expecting the presence of her sooner or later.

The young brunette went straight to his proximity. Her eyes were red and watery.

“We need to talk,” her voice was as stiff as her expression. Her fastened breathing was scarcely able to contain her rage and frustration.

“M-miss Park…” his assisstant showed up by the door, looking all flustered due to his futile attempt to stop the girl from breaking in. “I-I’m sorry, Sir, I’ve told her to wait but she…”

“Nevermind,” Hyoshin waved his hand dismissively and turned his head to everyone except her, “Can I have a minute please?”

When there were only the two of them left, she threw a page of that day’s Seoul Daily. The news of his sudden enlistment became its headline and his picture from his latest press conference covering its front page.

“Care to explain me what this is?”

He was still and quiet across from her. But she demanded an answer and his silence infuriated her.

“Hyoshin…” she gave him a quick glance, but what she saw gave her pause. Hyoshin’s face was like a  mask, a purposely neutral barrier braced for whatever was to come,

“Hyoshin?” she said quietly, because she didn’t like the wall that was suddenly between them.

He stood from his seat, his towering height immediately hovered over her. He cleared his throat, but his voice was still rough when he spoke on the wave of the big breath he drew for strength.

“I’ve been trying to speak with you, to come up with a time to bring it up, but there just isn’t anything close to an appropriate time for this…”

For a moment their eyes met and held. She saw a rawness there she didn’t recognize. He broke contact and jerked his head toward the window. She studied a patch of dark stubble on his prominent jaw that he seemed to have missed shaving this morning, staring at it until the muscle under it twitched as he clenched.

“… I’m sorry,” he took another bracing breath, releasing it entirely as he turned to her.

“Sorry for what?” she was trembled.

He held her gaze as he opened and closed his mouth a few times, the syllables of proposed and discarded answers lost as he struggled for words. With a decisive shake of his head, he lowered his chin and said levelly,

“For things that I can’t do for you. For broken promises. For everything.”

…

 

Seoul, South Korea

Present days

 

His solo concert was a huge success. It was a dream of every singer to have their concert held at Olympic Park Gymnastics Gymnasium, the largest concert hall in South Korea. The tickets were all sold out for only five hours since they were released online. He was going to send some to his closest friends but even he couldn’t get one for himself.

His only regret was that he didn’t get to perform Wild Flower flawlessly as he intended to, for that song remained to be the hardest piece to work on and he couldn’t help to prevent emotions getting in the way whenever he reached his last verses. The song carried half of his soul, while the other half had fled long ago leaving his body an empty vessel.

Wild Flower always reminded him of her, the one that got away.

He thought three years was enough to heal what was left wounded and bleed. But it was hard to even breath when his heart yearned so much for someone he knew he would never see again. He remembered vividly as if it was yesterday, one of the loneliest days of his life.

“Why–” felt as dry as sand, she choked on her own spit,

“Why don’t you ever talk to me, Hyoshin? Why don’t you ever tell me anything? Does this have something to do with all the circulating news of you going against your agency? You’re not alone in this relationship, there’s me too. You could’ve asked me before selfishly decided to enlist, we could’ve talked things through together… I-I don’t understand… am I not important to you?”

Her vision got gradually blurred as tears brimmed on her eyes.

“Sojin, listen… just be patient and wait for me, okay?”

He tried to reach for her hand but she took a step back.

“I’m tired, Hyoshin…”

He rigorously shook his head.

 “Don’t do this to me baby, please…”

But she had made her mind.

 “I’m tired of being left out.”

And that was the last thing he heard from her before she left.

 

“She’s  flying to France first thing in the morning,” Hongbin told him.

“France suits her well.”

“You’ve still got time to talk to her, you know.”

“She’s the one who wants to go. I can’t force her to stay.”

Hongbin scoffed.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. She thinks you’re giving up on her!”

It took him awhile before he replied.

“It’s a good thing that she left, don’t you think? This way,