Jiyong grasped the little piece of paper with Seunghyun’s information on it, holding it close to his heart. It was something he had done every day since the man had given it to him. He hadn’t called him yet, but Jiyong wasn’t worried. Seunghyun had come to the club again a few times, every couple of days, watching Jinah perform. It made the pressure to call Seunghyun less and Jiyong spent more days debating with himself if it was okay to go on a date.

He looked down at the phone number again, the way Seunghyun had smoothly written his name.

“Jiyong, how many times are you going to look at that paper?” Seungri asked.

Jiyong looked up at the blond man who sat across from him. Seungri had his legs crossed, one arm flung over the back of the couch he sat on, and wore a low-necked black t-shirt. He looked hot and Jiyong hated him for it.

“As many times as I want, .”

“Woah. Why are you snapping at me?” Seungri made a pouty face, exaggerated compared to an average person’s since he was good at over-emoting.

Jiyong sighed. “Sorry. I’m just sensitive.”

“What’s even on that paper?”

“A phone number.”

“For a guy?!”

“No, for my dog sitter. Yes, for a guy!” Jiyong said.

Seungri rolled his eyes. “Well, excuse me.”

Jiyong resisted rolling his eyes and turned them back to the paper. Seungri uncrossed his legs and sat forward.

“Are you debating on calling him?”

“Yeah…”

“Something wrong with him? He a gross mama’s boy? Still closeted? Oh my god, it’s crooked, isn’t it?” Seungri said.

“For ’s sake, Seungri, shut up. There’s nothing wrong with him, okay? He’s absolutely perfect.”

“Then what’s stopping you?”

“I’m not perfect,” Jiyong said.

He hadn’t meant for those words to come out of his mouth and his face became one of shock. Seungri stared at him, eyes widened.

Jiyong knew he didn’t have the best self-esteem or personal image of himself, but he certainly never spoke it out loud to others. He was the kind of person who thought self-deprecating things about himself, but never outwardly expressed them.

“So what if you aren’t perfect?” Seungri said then, “If he gave you his number, you must be good enough for him.”

Jiyong looked down at the paper for the umpteenth time. “That’s the thing. I don’t know why he thinks that…”

“Jesus Christ, Jiyong, call him.”

“I dunno. I just got out a relationship. I should probably get used to being single and all that.”

“Stop making excuses and call him before someone else snatches him up and he becomes the single most important thing you regret ever passing up,” Seungri said matter-of-factly.

Before Jiyong could make up another excuse, another explanation, Seungri got up to get himself another drink. He sighed and looked down at the phone number again. He picked up his phone and dialed quickly, trying to do it fast enough that he couldn’t talk himself out of it. His heart raced as the phone rang and there was a part of him that was so nervous, he felt a wave of nausea coming on.

“Hello?”

Seunghyun’s voice was smooth and deep like always, but something about just hearing it over the phone made Jiyong freeze up. He bit his fingernails in absolute silence.

“Hello? Jiyong, you there?”

Jiyong actually choked on his fingernail biting at the sound of Seunghyun saying his name. He coughed violently before composing himself.

“How did you know it was me?”

“You gave me your number, remember?” Seunghyun said with a little chuckle. “I put it in my phone.”

“Right. Duh. Stupid me.”

“It’s good to hear from you. I mean, I saw you like two nights ago, but you know.”

Jiyong flushed at the warm tone and sentiment. He hated how giddy he felt just to be told that someone was happy to hear from him. He really couldn’t deny that what he felt for Seunghyun was a crush.

“I’m glad you’re happy to hear from me. I wanted to talk to you about that date you asked me on.”

“Oh, yes. I’d be very happy to discuss that with you.”

“When are you free?” Jiyong asked.

“I think a better question is when are you free? I make my own schedule. Self-employed and all.”

“True. Silly me.” He paused for a second, recalling what his week looked like. “How about Thursday afternoon? Maybe around two or three?”

“Two would be great. What would you like to do?” Seunghyun asked.

“Since you asked me out, I kind of thought you’d have an idea.”

Seunghyun laughed, loud and carefree, a cross between a high-pitched chuckle and a giggle, and Jiyong thought it sounded so funny. He loved it. It brought a smile to his face, a warmth to his chest, just to hear it. He’d forgotten what it was like to hang onto every small gesture of someone you liked. It felt fresh and new all over again.

“You’re right. I’ll think of something,” Seunghyun said, once he had caught his breath. “Why don’t I meet you at Gangnam Station at two and we’ll go from there? Sound good?”

“Yes. That sounds great. I’ll see you then.”

“Until then, Jiyong.”

“Until then, Seunghyun,” Jiyong said, holding in a giddy laugh.

“Bye-bye.”

“Bye.”

Jiyong hung up and put his face in his hands, feeling how his cheeks were warm against them. His face actually hurt from smiling, but he couldn’t stop. The pounding in his chest was still going, but for once it wasn’t crippling anxiety, but happiness, eagerness, that filled him up.

This was what it meant to have a crush. Jiyong had always experienced it through physical signs, which had never been easy to handle.

When he finally looked up, he found Daesung, Heechul, and Seungri all peering down at him with grins on their faces.

“So, you called him?” Heechul asked.

Jiyong gave a sheepish nod and the other three men all cried out, leaping down to group hug Jiyong as tight as they could. He couldn’t help laughing at the overwhelming affection.

On Thursday, Jiyong got up early and went through his clothes, trying to find the perfect date outfit. He wasn’t sure what sort of style Seunghyun liked. He knew he wanted to look good, though. As he rummaged through his clothes, he was disappointed to find some of his favorite clothing pieces had been left behind at Woobin’s. He knew he needed to go there still, but he didn’t think he was ready. Maybe he never would be.

Deciding not to get depressed over it, and hence ruin his date, he put it out of his mind and worked with what he had. In the end, he settled on a pair of skinny jeans with a few tears in them, a white tank top, bright yellow sweater, and a pair of black ankle boots. He did his makeup, just some light foundation to hide his acne and barely there five o’clock shadow, and debated on what to do with his hair. He decided to leave it down and put on a thin black headband, which held his bangs back.

When he exited the bathroom, Youngbae was in the kitchen, making lunch in just boxers and a tank top.

“Youngbae, how do I look?” Jiyong asked, going into the kitchen.

“You look cute. What’s the occasion?”

“I’m going on a date. Is this a good first date outfit?”

“A date? Already?” Youngbae said in surprise.

Jiyong gulped.

Youngbae had been one of the people Jiyong hadn’t told about his continuing interest in Seunghyun. He hadn’t even told him that he’d gone back to see the shoe designer after his first stop at his shop. He loved Youngbae, he really did, but he wasn’t sure he’d understand how Jiyong was feeling and he’d advise him to wait a little longer to date. Also, Youngbae’s protective side was a real pain in the for him.

“Yeah…I thought it’d be okay. I really like this guy.”

“Jiyong, you always really like the guy. You’re one of those people who fall in and out of love really fast.”

Jiyong’s face fell at the words. He looked down at his sock clad feet and told himself not to get upset. He needed to breathe. Getting manic over Youngbae’s blunt comment was the last thing he needed to do. He took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, and then blew it back out.

“Thanks for the input,” Jiyong said then.

He turned to leave the kitchen. Youngbae trailed after him.

“Jiyong, I’m sorry. That didn’t come out how I meant it. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“So, you’re saying I shouldn’t go.”

Youngbae was quiet a moment. “I don’t know. It hasn’t been that long since you broke up with Woobin. Don’t you think it’s a little fast?”

“Yeah, I do, Youngbae, but I don’t want to be afraid of dating! I really like this guy. And you can say I fall in love all the time, but it’s not always like this, okay?!” Jiyong yelled, his eyes filling with tears.

Jiyong’s emotions overwhelmed him and he felt his stomach bubbling with anxiety. He reached up to rub at his eyes and tried to keep it in, clamping his mouth shut hard. He didn’t want to explode. He didn’t want to make a scene. He didn’t want to be overwhelmed by his emotions just because his best friend didn’t approve. He hated having episodes like that, but it wasn’t always under his control.

Youngbae’s eyes softened and he pulled Jiyong into his arms, rubbing his back lightly.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m sorry. Take a deep breath. It’s gonna be okay.”

Jiyong inhaled loudly, then exhaled. Youngbae breathed with him, smoothing his hand over his back in a rhythm that matched their breaths. Jiyong felt himself calming down as a few tears escaped his eyes. He slumped into Youngbae, who held him up.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t approach you right. I’m really sorry,” he said.

Jiyong shook his head. “I haven’t taken my medication today. It’s okay. I know you mean well.”

“Don’t say it’s okay, Jiyong. I can’t make you live how I live. You don’t have to listen to me. It’s okay to say, ‘shut up, Youngbae. You don’t know what you’re talking about.’”

Jiyong laughed a bit. He pulled away and went to find his anxiety medication. Once he’d found it and opened the container, Youngbae had brought him a glass of water. He accepted the glass and drank it once he popped the pill into his mouth.

“You look really nice. You’re gonna make a good impression on this guy, okay? As long as you’re feeling good about it, I want you to go.”

Jiyong smiled. “Thanks, Bae.”

They hugged one more time and Jiyong was thankful his best friend could put up with his craziness.

When Jiyong arrived at Gangnam Station an hour later, he realized he should have made it more clear where in the station they would be meeting. Jiyong didn’t often go there, since Gangnam was a place he couldn’t really afford to frequent, and he forgot how large the underground station was. As he exited the turnstiles, pocketing his T-money card, he looked around to figure out where he might be able to find his date.

Seunghyun was an eccentric. That meant that he could really be anywhere in the station, which was famous for its cheap knock off clothing, shoes, and accessories, as well as the numerous snack places housed inside.

“Maybe I should call…”

“Jiyong!”

Seunghyun waved to him from across the station, coming out of the turnstiles on the other side. Jiyong lit up, walking quickly towards the other man.

Seunghyun wore a pair of black jeans, a black sweater, the ends of a white button up peeking out from beneath, and a pair of oval black glasses. He looked really, really cute, and Jiyong could already feel his face heating up.

“Hi,” Jiyong greeted when they reached one another.

“Hi! I can’t believe I spotted you so easily! But, you are wearing yellow.”

“It’s loud, huh?” Jiyong pushed some of his hair behind his ear, glancing down.

Seunghyun grinned cutely. “I really like it, actually. And now we’re sweater buddies.”

Jiyong laughed, covering his mouth with his hand. The two of them were dressed very similarly. Had he wore a black sweater himself, they would have looked like they’d gone the whole nine yards with couple items.

“So, I was thinking we could get some snacks and go for a walk. Then, if we get tired of that, maybe something else, I dunno. We’ll play it by ear,” Seunghyun said.

Jiyong nodded. “Sounds good. What kind of snacks are you thinking?”

“I’m kind of partial to manju, but if you’d like something else…”

“What is manju?”

Seunghyun looked offended. “You’re kidding, right?”

“No.”

“Okay, that’s it, I’m going home.”

Jiyong would have thought Seunghyun was serious, if it weren’t for the fact that he was trying really hard not to smile. Jiyong let out a soft breath, the worry leaving him as quickly as it came.

“They’re these awesome cream filled pastries shaped like corn. They’re delicious and made fresh. We have to get some.”

“Okay. Where do we get some?” Jiyong asked.

“My favorite are at Myeongdong Station, but let’s get something else in the meantime. There’s a lot of great smoothie places in here.”

“There’s a Mister Donut a little ways back.” Jiyong pointed over his shoulder.

Seunghyun’s eyes lit up. “Donuts it is.”

They walked through the station to the Mister Donut. Jiyong and Seunghyun peered into their cases, before selecting a couple. They paid separately and walked out, heading for the nearby Jamba Juice, because Seunghyun was determined to get a Dragon Fruit Mango smoothie.

Once they both had smoothies in hand, they took a seat to eat their snacks before venturing outside the station.

“Which donuts did you get?” Jiyong asked as he unpacked his.

“Glazed and a chocolate ring. You?”

“I got a cream filled and a sugar ring.”

“Good choice.” Seunghyun took a bite of his glazed donut. “Do you like donuts a lot?”

Jiyong nodded, his cheeks dusting pink. “They’re almost my favorite food.”

“What is your favorite food?”

“I like seafood. All kinds of seafood. But I prefer it over beef, pork, and chicken.”

Seunghyun nodded, sipping on his smoothie. “Seafood is good. Do you like sushi?”

“I love sushi!”

“Me too!”

Jiyong laughed at Seunghyun’s enthusiasm and munched on his cream filled donut. He the cream out of it once he’d bitten an opening.

“If you had to choose: sushi or donuts?” Jiyong asked.

“Definitely sushi. I like donuts, but sushi is the bee’s knees.”

Jiyong laughed again, almost choking on his donut. “Oh my god.”

“I know. I’m a hoot.”

“Please stop. Omg.”

Jiyong was nearly wheezing. Seunghyun just grinned and finished his second donut. Once he caught his breath, Jiyong drank his smoothie.

“So, shall we go walking?”

“Where should we walk?” Jiyong asked.

“We can walk anywhere. I like to people watch, so I go all kinds of places. But, since this is a date, I have a place in mind.”

“As long as it isn’t a long walk on a short pier.”

Seunghyun stared at Jiyong for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. He slapped his hand against his chest and nearly doubled over.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you just said that!” he said after a moment.

Jiyong couldn’t believe Seunghyun was laughing as hard as he was. The joke wasn’t even that funny. Seunghyun grinned at him.

“I can assure you it will be a long walk on an even longer road.”

Seunghyun gave a little wink and Jiyong blushed. He got up quickly and shuffled out of the store, the shoe designer following him quickly.

They walked beside one another back through the station, climbing up stairs and avoiding numerous people who came in waves for the shops and towards the many exits. They scanned their T-Money cards and hopped onto the next train bound for Seoul National University.

At the next stop, Jiyong rushed to keep up with Seunghyun, who weaved through people like a ghost phasing through the air. They hopped onto Line Six, squeezing in among others. Jiyong was usually pretty good at staying still, but that day, the train managed to shake him and he bumped into Seunghyun way more than necessary. So much so that it seemed like he was nudging him intentionally. But Seunghyun just smiled.

“So, how’s your week been?” he asked.

Jiyong finally managed to get his footing and looked up at the older man, fingers gripping the handhold. “It’s been alright. Work’s good.”

“Do you do drag full time?”

“No, but I want to,” Jiyong said.

“What’s your boring job, then?”

“I’m a manager at a coffee shop. But not a chain, so it’s nothing glamorous.”

“Oh? Coffee? Do you make Americanos?” Seunghyun asked.

“Who the hell doesn’t make Americanos, Seunghyun?”

They both laughed.

“So, you like Americanos?” Jiyong asked.

“I do. With an extra shot.”

“I prefer mine iced.”

“Sounds like I’ll have to come to your coffee shop then.”

“It’s really not that great. For an independent, we’re not even that good. It’s disappointing,” Jiyong said.

“Why work there, then?”

“I’ve been working there since my first year in college. I’ve been there a long time and I’m a manager. I need the money.”

Seunghyun nodded thoughtfully.

The train came to a stop and they got off at Yeouido Station and Jiyong laughed when he saw the name.

“You brought me here?”

“I said a long walk. The park is big. You can walk in circles!” Seunghyun said.

Jiyong giggled and pushed him. Seunghyun just grinned and pulled him along. They left the subway and headed for Yeouido Hangang Park. Jiyong hadn’t been there in a long time. He’d gone there on a date with Woobin when they’d first started dating. But Jiyong was not going to think about Woobin while he was on a date with Seunghyun. He wanted to have a fun day.

“What did you major in in college?” Seunghyun asked as they walked.

“Linguistics. I barely graduated, to be honest.”

“How come?”

Seunghyun subtly directed him onto the walking path of the park and they set out on their way as they talked.

“I really like learning languages, but I’m not very good at it. I can speak kind of decently and write okay-ish, but I dunno, when people talk to me, I freeze up and my brain goes blank. So, I did poorly on my listening activities and tests,” Jiyong said.

“What languages did you learn?”

“Japanese and Chinese. I’d say I’m basic in both. I probably could get around in Japan by myself and in China, I could read signs, maybe.” He laughed.

“That’s impressive. I know some Japanese, but mostly from watching anime and all the characters end up yelling the same lines between them all.”

Jiyong laughed again. “Yeah, I get that.” He looked up at Seunghyun. “Did you go to college?”

“Yeah. Art school. For high school and college.”

“Wow! But you make shoes.”

“Fine art shoes,” Seunghyun corrected, holding up a finger. “An intersection between shoe making and art. I took my cobbler program after I graduated.”

“What a transition.”

Jiyong looked up at the trees as they walked around a corner towards the small lake in the ecological forest.

“Mind if we go into the Education Center?” Seunghyun asked.

“Oh, uh, sure.”

Seunghyun smiled and walked a little faster. Jiyong trailed behind him, trying to think of more they could talk about. He didn’t know that much about Seunghyun. This was his chance to get to know him.

They wandered into the Education Center. Jiyong read signs, since he’d never been there, while Seunghyun sat down on a bench. He pulled his sketch pad out and began quick work. Jiyong found, as he waited, that he watched Seunghyun more than the signs.

After five minutes, Seunghyun was back up.

“Ready to walk again?”

“Yeah. You were sketching?” Jiyong asked.

Seunghyun nodded sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. Sorry. The flowers were really inspiring. I told myself I shouldn’t sketch on the date and I already failed.”

“You really weren’t going to sketch just because you’re with me?”

“Yeah. You deserve my full attention, Jiyong.”

Jiyong blushed and looked away from Seunghyun as they made their way back onto the path.

“Why did you decide to not be an artist?” Jiyong finally asked.

“Mm. It’s hard to explain. Why do you want to be a drag queen?”

“Huh? Because I love it.” Jiyong was caught off by the sudden topic shift.

Seunghyun nodded. “It feels right for you, right?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s how I feel about making shoes. Making art was fun, but it just didn’t feel right. It didn’t fit me the way I wanted it to. Then I found shoes and…they were the right canvas.”

Jiyong smiled at the thoughtful look on Seunghyun’s face. He was enamored by the emotion in his eyes.

“I understand.”

Seunghyun looked at him and he grinned, looking almost boyish. “I knew you would.”

Jiyong found the two of them walking in a matching pace, the same foot lifting in perfect sync. He drifted closer to the older man, who seemed to walk closer as well. It was like nature to them.

“Alright, more fun trivia time,” Seunghyun said, shaking his arms. “Favorite singer?”

“Pharrell. But I like all kinds of music—Nirvana, Guns ‘n Roses, Prince, David Bowie, Rihanna, Jay-Z, Beyonce, Maroon 5.”

“What about Korean singers?”

“I really like Uhm Junghwa, PSY, EPIK HIGH, Gummy, BoA, and the Wonder Girls,” Jiyong supplied quickly.

“Ah, the Wonder Girls. I like them too. You have good taste in music. I like Prince and David Bowie too. And rap—like Tupac, Biggie, Wu-Tang Clan.”

“I like that too! I really like all kinds of music, to be honest.”

“How worldly,” Seunghyun said.

“What is your favorite color?”

“Blue.”

“So quick and a little vague. You’re an artist. Shouldn’t you be specific?” Jiyong teased.

“I just like the tones and shades of blue. Does that satisfy you?”

“Yes. My favorite is almost everything, but I lean towards black, white, pink, and yellow. If you’re curious.”

“I’ll remember that,” Seunghyun said. “I know your favorite food. How about favorite animal?”

Jiyong tilted his head. He had to think about it for a few minutes as they walked.

“I like dogs and cats most, I think.”

“Yeah? I have a dog.”

“Oh! What kind?” Jiyong asked.

“Cocker Spaniel. His name is Charlie.”

“Aww. Do you have pictures?”

“Is that really a question?” Seunghyun said, already having gotten out his phone.

They walked along together, looking at photos of Seunghyun’s dog, which was accompanied by Jiyong’s squealing. Jiyong then pulled out his phone and showed Seunghyun a cute video of a sleeping puppy that he’d seen on Facebook. After watching numerous videos and looking at photos and memes, they found themselves drifting from the pavilion and into the traditional forest.

“Okay. Enough about dogs. What are your hobbies?” Jiyong asked.

“Hmm…” Seunghyun thought for a moment, crossing his arms over his chest. “I like watching movies, mostly foreign, painting, collecting wine, and watching the Food Network.”

“Collecting wine? That’s an expensive hobby.”

“Yes, well, I grew up with some wealth, so it’s a little normal to me. I have a small collection, though.”

Jiyong nodded. Seunghyun smiled at him.

“Now, tell me your hobbies,” Seunghyun said.

“Well, my main hobby is drag. Since it doesn’t pay my bills, it’s my hobby still. It makes me happy, though. Other than that, I like listening to music, dancing, and, the next one is embarrassing, so don’t laugh.” Jiyong paused to look at Seunghyun, who only kept his lips shut. “I like watching dramas.”

Seunghyun smiled. “Why is that embarrassing? It’s cute. Who doesn’t like some melodrama?”

“You’re messing with me, right?”

“I am not!”

Seunghyun tickled Jiyong’s side, which made him jump and laugh. He looked at him and grinned. He brought his hand up and chewed on a fingernail.

“Since we’re baring our souls and what not, on this very interesting first date, I have a sort of weird, embarrassing request,” he said.

Seunghyun smiled and turned to him, stopping their advance. “I like weird and embarrassing. Just try me.”

Jiyong laughed a bit and nodded, working up the courage. Seunghyun’s carefree nature was so strange to him, but he liked it.

“Did you watch the drama, Please Come Back, Mister?”

“I didn’t, but I remember seeing the promos for it. Lee Hanui was in it!”

“Yes! Okay, my favorite character is Han Gitak, who is a reformed mobster that was in love with an actress, who is actually played by Lee Hanui. In an interview she reads about him from before he died, she finds out he was in love with her, which was a huge ‘duh,’ but you know how it is with dramas. Anyway, he says that his idea of a perfect date is walking on the Mapo Bridge holding hands with the one he loves.” Jiyong paused, losing his enthusiasm as embarrassment snuck up. “And, well, umm…the Mapo Bridge is right there. And I always thought that would be really sweet and romantic…”

“Let’s do it.”

Jiyong looked at Seunghyun. He couldn’t believe Seunghyun so easily agreed to do something so silly.

They walked toward the bridge without exchanging anymore words, but it was a comfortable silence. Just as they reached it, they stopped and Jiyong looked up at Seunghyun.

Seunghyun took his hand, warm and calloused (and always speckled with paint). Jiyong squeezed it and took a breath. He then stepped forward and pulled Seunghyun onto the bridge.

Somehow, just stepping onto the bridge, holding hands, was one of the hardest things Jiyong felt he’d ever had to do. But it was probably because Jiyong knew that doing this romantic thing with his new love interest meant that he was closing the door on his years with Woobin and starting a new part of his life. Having the courage to trust this man to act out a scene in a drama was a lot more dramatic than he had expected.

But just like that, the nervousness and apprehension that had come with stepping onto the bridge was gone and they walked down it, hand in hand, as if it was something they had done hundreds of thousands of times before. It was magical and different. Jiyong had never felt so comfortable with anyone other than his sister so easily.

They walked about ten feet before Jiyong let out a sigh.

“I feel so stupid, making you do this.”

“It’s not so bad. Your hand is nice to hold.”

Jiyong smiled. “Let’s talk more.”

“First CD you ever owned?” Seunghyun said.

“Wow! That’s a great question! It was Wu-Tang Clan’s ‘Enter the Wu Tang (36 Chambers).’”

“You really do love Wu-Tang then.”

“You doubted me? I’m offended!” Jiyong playfully scoffed.

“Well, you named, like, twelve artists, so what was I supposed to think? How do I know which you like best?”

Jiyong tried to elbow him, though he mostly just shook their hands in the air in an attempt to maneuver. Seunghyun laughed and swung their hands.

“Your turn.”

“Favorite movie?”

“I really like film, actually. When I was little, I wanted to be an actor,” Seunghyun said, “I quite like John Lee’s films and anything by Stanley Kubrick.”

“I like Stanley Kubrick too, though I’m not sure I’ve seen many of his films. You should show me more.”

“I’d love to. I set up my own home theater sometimes, with a projector on the wall and popcorn.”

Jiyong lit up and leaned into Seunghyun a bit. Seunghyun didn’t seem to mind, continuing with him.

“Now you,” Jiyong said.

“How about telling me a story?”

“What do you want to know?”

“Tell me about an interesting drag experience,” Seunghyun said.

“Oh, boy, do I have those. Where should I start?”

Jiyong and Seunghyun kept walking as Jiyong thought about what story to tell him. He sorted through stories in his head, before deciding one.

“Okay. This might be a bit silly. I had crazy experiences when I was younger.”

“You’re only twenty-five,” Seunghyun said.

“Shush. Let me tell my story.”

Seunghyun chuckled and nodded.

“About two years into my drag career, I would go out at night in drag with my other queen friends. It was usually me, my friend Daesung, he’s D-Lite at the club, and my other fledgling drag friends, Jaejoong and Junsu, who were called Hero and Xia. On this night, though, we went out with my drag mom, Lady HeeHee. So, just imagine us—I’m barely twenty and my drag skill is lowbrow. I would draw my eyebrows up here.” Jiyong motioned to a high spot on his forehead. “And my wigs were, like, costume shop quality and badly styled and I wore a plate. Actually, wait.”

Jiyong stopped and turned, but he didn’t let go of Seunghyun’s hand. Seunghyun had a small smile on his face as he looked at him. Jiyong motioned to himself.

“Imagine me in some sequin booty shorts, thigh high boots, and a crop top, okay? Like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, basically. With this god awful blond ponytail wig, bad highlight on my cheeks, garage door eyes, and dark red lipstick. I looked the worse amongst us all, but Daesung only looked a little better than me, and then Jaejoong and Junsu were right above him. Of course, Heechul looked perfect, because obviously she’s way more experienced than the rest of us. So, imagine four men dressed in obvious drag and one person who looks convincing as a woman…on a bus.”

Seunghyun’s eyes widened and his smile turned into a grin, but he said nothing, held his reaction in.

“Yeah. We were on a bus. I didn’t have a car then, so I had to ride the bus everywhere and when we met up, they all decided we should ride together. We were going to this drag night event at eomma’s friend, Jo Kwon’s, drag club. Daesung and I felt a little weird, riding the bus in drag, but the other three were being loud and obnoxious on purpose, it was so obvious. I kept my face pressed against the window the whole time, because I was so embarrassed. Heechul even had this guy try to him and he just laughed and asked if they liked it in a fake deep voice. It was the worst. Anyway, we get as close to the club as we can on the bus, which is still like three blocks.”

Jiyong put his face in his hand. They began to walk again.

“So, the five of us start walking down the street in our heels. We get to the club. There are hundreds of drag queens. At least it seemed like it. Huge disorganized line trying to get in. It was a mess. So, what does eomma do? He walks straight to the front of the line and talks to the bouncer. All of us are waiting for the bouncer to ignore him, but Heechul does this like y wiggle thing.”

Jiyong tried to show Seunghyun without letting go of his hand, body awkwardly waving around. He knew he looked more like a limp noodle than anything y at all.

“And he opened the door for him! So we followed him in. Everyone looked super pissed outside the door, of course. I swear this story has a point. Anyway, we go in, there are drag queens and oiled up buff guys everywhere. It’s honestly like the biggest gay wet dream ever, at least if you’re into that sort of thing. Neon lights, awesome tunes, gay guys as far as the eye can see. It was amazing to twenty-year-old me. I was dating already, but it still was the best. Anyway, after we went around greeting literally everyone, Daesung and I were told that we absolutely had to partake in this tradition, which turned out to be a lip sync competition.”

Jiyong made a gagging motion, which got a chuckle out of Seunghyun.

“At that point, I think I’d been on stage maybe three times and my lip syncs were pretty good, but because I was unconfident, I did terribly. I didn’t move around. I just sang along. So, I was really nervous about it. I did everything I could to get out of it, even flirted with the bartender so he’d forget to sign me up, but Jaejoong, that , he wrote my name down afterwards. So, I got super drunk. I knocked back like five Cosmos and a couple shots, I’m pretty sure. I could barely walk when I got on that stage, but I remember I actually did really well. My makeup was ruined and my wig was bad, but it was the first time I felt confident onstage. I think that’s when I knew it was what I wanted to really do with my life.”

Jiyong fell silent. He waited. And waited. But Seunghyun said nothing. He glanced up at him.

“That’s it. I guess it was kind of silly to tell you that.”

Jiyong looked around and he realized that the two of them had reached the other end of Mapo Bridge. They had walked the entirety of the bridge holding hands.

“Oh my god. I just talked for so long. I’m so sorry,” Jiyong said.

Seunghyun just smiled. “I like listening to you talk about your passions.”

Jiyong flushed. “Are you kidding?”

“No. I really did enjoy it. And look, we made it across the whole bridge.”

“I can’t believe we’ve walked this far…I never exercise this much.”

Seunghyun laughed. “It’s easy when you’re with someone you like.”

Jiyong tried not to smile too wide. “So, what now?”

“Well,” Seunghyun looked down at his watch, “It’s five now, so what do you say we waste a bit more time and grab some dinner?”

“I’d like that.”

“I know this great restaurant in Myeongdong, if you’re interested in going there.”

“Okay. I have something we can do in Myeongdong, if you wouldn’t mind tagging along,” Jiyong said.

“And what’s that?”

“I need more makeup.”

Jiyong gave a sheepish grin. Seunghyun laughed, smiled, and nodded. They made their way to the closest station, not letting go of one another’s hand.

Seunghyun was a good sport and tagged along with Jiyong as he went in and out of the various makeup stores in Myeongdong. He had to stop at Nature Republic for lip crayons and eye shadow, the Saem for lipstick and concealer, the Face Shop for mascara and eyeliner, and Innis Free for face masks, among other things. Jiyong asked Seunghyun’s opinion on colors for his makeup. It had taken about an hour and a half to finish picking up everything he needed and Jiyong knew the next time he checked his bank balance, he would be quite depressed.

“Why do you buy from so many different brands?” Seunghyun asked as he led him toward the restaurant he wanted them to eat at.

Jiyong and he had linked arms, walking close, each carrying a bag full of makeup products.

“Well, you know, you find something you like and you keep buying it until you can’t get it anymore.”

Seunghyun made a knowing sound. “Okay. I understand now.”

Jiyong laughed.

Seunghyun led him into a building and then into an elevator. On the third floor, there was a BBQ restaurant and they were seated immediately, sitting across from one another.

“Will you order for me?” Jiyong asked. “I trust you.”

“Sure.”

Seunghyun ordered two servings of a bulgogi stew, which was brought to them on a burner, and had glass noodles and veggies in it. While they waited for it to cook, Jiyong smelled it.

“So, what else could we possibly learn about each other?” he asked.

“Hmm…how do you feel about kids?”

“I love them! I’ve always wanted a family. I want a daughter someday.”

“I see. I used to be pretty apprehensive of them, to be honest, but my older sister had a baby. I think I embraced being an uncle pretty well.”

“Aww,” Jiyong cooed. “Had you ever been to a drag show before you came to see me the other night?”

“I had. Maybe twice? I went to one when I was younger and curious, you know, when you start to feel out the gay scene and all. My friend, Kyungil, had a birthday party at some drag club a couple years back. But that’s it. I’ve never really frequented them. They’re a little hard to find here in Seoul.”

“Tell me about it. If eomma didn’t have his own club, I’d probably be completely lost on where to go. Before I met him and was trying to get into the gay scene, going to Itaewon was so terrifying and weird, because it’s gays and foreigners and you can’t really differentiate it all at first.”

“Yeah,” Seunghyun agreed with a little nod.

Jiyong cracked open the beer as the food finished cooking, ready to eat. He poured Seunghyun a glass, while the older man served them both. Jiyong quickly took a bite, chewing as fast as he could since it was hot and fresh. While his tongue was a little burned, it didn’t dilute the immense flavor that overwhelmed his taste buds.

“Wow. That is fantastic,” he said.

“Right? It’s so good. And this is such a simple dish, but they’ve made it even better somehow.”

Jiyong nodded and took a drink of his beer.

“Okay. Cass or Hite?”

“Cass,” Seunghyun said.

“Really? I’m more into Hite, but they’re both beer, so they’re good.”

Seunghyun laughed and nodded. “Beer is always good. I’m pickier with my wine.”

“That you collect, right?” Jiyong teased.

Seunghyun smiled at him.

They ate and talked, playfully battling each other with chopsticks over who got the last of the meat and noodles when the soup got low. Two more bottles of beer were downed before they left, but they sat there so long, neither really got drunk. Seunghyun paid the bill, telling Jiyong he could pay next time.

By the time they left the restaurant, the streets had emptied quite a bit and they made their way slowly to the station.

Jiyong realized that he had no more excuses to stay out with Seunghyun. He needed to get home, he had work the next day, but the day had gone so well, he didn’t want it to end.

“So, I suppose I can’t offer to walk you home,” Seunghyun said.

“Are you trying to win the prize of gentleman or something? Your chivalry is astounding.”

“My mother raised me well.”

Jiyong laughed. They swiped into the station and walked toward the stairs. Once they descended and took the escalator down to the platform, they turned to one another.

Seunghyun took hold of Jiyong’s hand.

“I had a really wonderful time with you today, Jiyong.”

There was so much Jiyong wanted to say. Talking with Seunghyun all day was magical and he was having trouble seeing any downsides to him. They had connected so easily, Jiyong had felt so comfortable with him. There had to be some kind of catch, but Jiyong couldn’t seem to find one, no matter how hard he tried.

It occurred to him then: Why did he need to find a downside? Why was Jiyong trying to sabotage himself? Seunghyun was a gentleman who genuinely seemed to like him and they had enough in common. It was only a first date. It’s not like Jiyong needed to bail immediately and there wasn’t any commitment yet. They liked each other and as far as Jiyong could remember, he had never liked someone as much as he liked Seunghyun, not even Woobin. So, he decided to make himself happy, even just that once.

“I had the best time with you too. This is the best first date I’ve ever been on.”

Seunghyun grinned. “I hope we can go out again then.”

“Yes. Definitely.”

Seunghyun let go of Jiyong’s hand and leaned in towards him. Even though Jiyong wanted nothing more than to kiss Seunghyun, because he truly was perfect, he wanted to keep up this idea of treating himself well. His hand came up and blocked Seunghyun’s lips.

“I’m sorry. I don’t kiss on the first date,” he said.

He waited for Seunghyun’s reaction, expecting the worst—anger or disappointment. But Seunghyun chuckled and pulled back, sticking his hands in his pockets.

“Seems I’ll have to earn that kiss then.”

Jiyong smiled. All he could think was Seunghyun was a gentleman. He leaned up and kissed his cheek, just as the train arrived.

“That’s my train. Talk to you soon?”

“Most definitely,” Seunghyun said.

Jiyong hugged him quickly, then ran for the train with all of his bags. He collapsed onto a seat and looked out the window at Seunghyun, who stood on the platform, still watching him. He waved goodbye as the train pulled away.

Jiyong pulled out his phone to check the time. It was nine o’clock. He couldn’t believe he’d been on a seven-hour date and had not been bored once in that time. He texted Youngbae he was on his way home.

Seunghyun was perfect, too good to be true, and as Jiyong rode home, he couldn’t help thinking more and more about how there had to be some catch. He told himself to not get attached, to not so easily fall in love, because it was just too good to be true.

By the time he got home, Jiyong already missed him and he knew that he was no good at controlling his feelings. He just hoped it wouldn’t come to bite him in the . He wanted to believe it could work and that he could be happy with Seunghyun, that there wasn’t something waiting to make him miserable hiding on the horizon.

Youngbae had already got to bed when he got home, since he had to be up extra early for his first job. Jiyong got himself ready for bed and lay down on the couch. His phone buzzed with a text message from Seunghyun.

Hope you got home okay. Today was really great. I realized we were in Myeongdong and didn’t get the manju I told you about. Next time, I’ll show you how amazing they are. Good night, Jiyong.

Jiyong grinned and texted him back a good night message with a little heart. He pressed his cell phone to his chest and told himself that it wasn’t too good to be true. He was in the right place at the right time. He was going to be happy. Jiyong was not going to self-sabotage himself again if he could help it.

Hi, everyone. I'm really sorry you've had to wait so long for an update. Real life has been in the way, what with the holidays and grad school, and to top it off, I've been sick for over a month. :'(
I also had writer's block while writing this chapter. I'd written about half of it during December, but I got stuck, because this chapter meant a lot to me. But I finally got the inspiration back and this chapter is just over 7k, much longer than expected, so I hope it was worth the wait.
I'm definitely going to try to stick to my "update once a month" schedule, so please bear with me.
Thanks again for reading! I look forward to reading your comments :)