It has been one month they have been together. Baekri hums one of her favourite ballads as she taps the wall of the elevator eagerly with her nails, can’t imagine her boyfriend’s face the moment she surprises him. Chanyeol was on urgent leave today. He also cancelled their supposed date tonight to celebrate their one month anniversary. She isn’t disappointed though.

The chef has been bombarded with exotic dishes on his to-do list for the annual dinner. He must be feeling exhausted so she understands. As Baekri walks through the passageway to Chanyeol’s apartment, she freezes when someone familiar greets her sight. Immediately hiding behind the nearest wall, firmly pressing her back against it, her heart is beating wildly in her chest.

Have her eyes wronged her?

Baekri peeks at the unexpected guest in front of her boyfriend’s doorstep. She’s right. It’s Kim Kyungsu. The model is holding her daughter’s hand with a luggage next to her. “I’m really sorry.” She hears the model apologizing to Chanyeol. His boyfriend only brushes it off with a smile, helping her with the luggage before she lets her in after giving a pat on the sleeping child’s head.

Baekri leans the back of her head against the wall. What’s happening? Why Chanyeol looks so happy to see her? Is he cheating on her? But Kyungsu is married Junhee’s brother, right? Baekri wants answers. She takes a step and finds herself almost stumbling. She’s too shocked on what she has just witnessed. Her legs are shaking terribly. Her palms are sweating. Her head spinning.

Baekri runs to the elevator without even thinking. She can’t see him. She can’t see the model. Where will she put her face if she confronts them? Baekri can’t control the tears. She lets them out. Hurt, betrayal, anger and puzzlement are all mixed together, creating a very foul mood. She wobbles her way to her car, missing a few steps. She stops to look up to Chanyeol’s apartment, No wonder he cancelled our date…

More tears fall upon thinking about their first month of being together. Baekri suddenly has the strong urge to drink. With tears blurring her vision, she fishes out her phone out of her handbag and searches Junhee’s number. She halts just before she wants to tap the call button. Junhee is married now. She can’t go out with her like they used to. Her husband probably won’t let her.

Baekri sobs pathetically. She hates herself for being so dependent. She gets inside her car and presses her forehead against the steering wheel, crying her heart out. The image of someone’s kittenish smile suddenly flashes in her head. With more tears falling and with shaky hands, she searches for Jongdae’s number and without even contemplating, she calls him.

The call gets picked up right after two rings, “Hello?” Baekri sniffles upon hearing the voice. Her voice is wet as she requests, “Can you come over to my place… ? I-I need to talk— I need to see you.” Without even asking her the reason, Jongdae promptly replies, “I’ll be right there. Text me your address and I’ll be right there.” Baekri does what she’s told. A drink will be definitely great right now.

Her chest hurts so much as she recalls how happy Chanyeol looked at another woman earlier.

Baekri doesn’t know how but somehow, she finally reaches home. There’s a foreign car right next to where she has parked. She gets out from the car, not forgetting to lock it. “Baek?” Jongdae is totally taken aback once he sees her condition under the yellow lamp lights. Her cheeks blotchy, makeup ruined, trails of dark tears can be seen due to her mascara and eyeliner.

Baekri misses a step while heading towards him and she falls into the other’s arms. Jongdae hugs her tightly without a single word. Baekri presses her forehead against the male’s neck, sobbing into his shirt. Junhee will always hold her like this. She won’t say anything too. Her employer knows that she needs silent comfort. “Baek?” Her face is being held gently as she looks up to Jongdae.

His face lacks of rest and it looks like he really needs sleep. Oh how she wishes she isn’t dependent. She feels bad for calling him to come here. “I won’t ask anything,” Jongdae tucks her long fringe behind her ear before sending her a small smile, “You need a nice warm shower.” She nods thrice, totally agreeing to that. Jongdae tells her that he will wait at the living room.

He also encourages her to take her time in the shower. She comes back within ten minutes though. She wants to be comforted. Baekri heads to the kitchen and returns with two green bottles of soju. “Baek? I think it’s too late for you to drink—” “You can’t tell me what to do at my current state,” She sits next to him, shoving a bottle towards him forcibly. She trusts Jongdae that he won’t do anything against her will.

So she takes a gulp and groans softly at the slight burn, wiping with the end of her sleeves as she lets out a sniffle. Jongdae is secretly amazed on how the young lady is daring to have her bare face in front of him. She’s clad in a brown knitted sweater and black sweatpants, her long hair now messily tied into a bun. He thinks she looks beautiful. Jongdae just wants to brush his thumb against her furrowed brows but he doesn’t.

He knows he won’t be able to stop himself if he does. He doesn’t want that to happen. “Why,” Baekri hiccups minutes later after finishing half of the bottle. She’s known to have the lowest alcohol tolerance among her colleagues. Junhee always advise (read: nag) her to be careful whenever she drinks. Jongdae gazes at the lady. He assumes it’s about the chef. He said he won’t ask but that doesn’t mean he isn’t curious about the matter.

“He should’ve told me sooner…”

Baekri leans her head against his arm, startling him greatly. She whines some more, mumbling incoherent words while hitting his arm at the same time. “Time for you to sleep,” Jongdae pushes her away gently to have her leaning against the sofa. It doesn’t happen. Instead, she leans towards him even closer while whining out his name, causing Jongdae to blush. He doesn’t expect this at all from her.

“He’s being so unfair but,” She hiccups, water starting to fall from her eyes, “I love him too… I love him too much already…” Jongdae’s heart breaks at how broken she sounds. The lady distances herself away all of a sudden and Jongdae wonders what she’s going to do. “Baek!” She gobbles down the rest of the soju, the empty bottle dropping onto the carpet.

“Hey,” Jongdae holds onto her shoulders, witnessing her cheeks has gone into pink, “Baek, look at me.” She indeed looks at him, her orbs hazy. The drunk lady crashes into his chest, surprising the hell out of him. Jongdae swallows, not knowing what to do. “Chanyeol doesn’t love me…” He peers down to Baekri. He lets out a sigh. He can’t believe he’s going to do this.

“He loves you, Baek,” Jongdae envelops her into a tight hug, giving pats on her back before he continues, “Everything happens for a reason.” The drunk Baekri sobs after that, loud and hard. Her cries bounces against the walls of her apartment. Jongdae lets her be. She must love the chef so much. He understands. That’s how he feels for her. That’s how he cried for her. He feels what she feels.

“Baek?”

He calls softly after noticing she has gone silent. “Baekri?” He shakes her a little and hears a small snort. Jongdae chuckles mutely. “Can I bring you to bed now? You really need to sleep,” He pats her hair fondly, admiring how beautiful she looks. Baekri nods sluggishly, back to snuggling into his chest. Jongdae shakes his head with another chuckle.

Chanyeol is sure one of a hell lucky guy. “Up you go,” Jongdae groans a little as he helps Baekri to stand up, having an arm around her waist and his other one keeping her head still so that she won’t tumble forward. After a little struggle, they’re finally in her room. Jongdae gingerly plops her on the bed. He then takes a look around. Her bedroom is small and tidy. Just like herself.

It smells like home. Jongdae furiously shakes the thought away. His brain doesn’t have to give him unnecessary thoughts right now. He brushes off the strands of hair on her forehead as he sits next to her on the bed, “I’ll be going now, Baek.” Jongdae gets up after tucking her properly under the blanket. He looks down when he feels a tug on his shirt. His cheeks unknowingly warms up terribly at the adorable sight of Baekri staring up to him, her eyes teary. “Stay…” Jongdae peels her fingers away from his shirt with a sad smile, “I can’t—”

She overpowers him as she grabs onto his wrist, “Please… Join me… I-I don’t wanna be alone… Pl-Please—” “Shh,” Jongdae immediately sits next to her as he hushes her softly while leaving a kiss on the palm of her hand, not wanting to see or hear her cry again before he smiles, “I’ll stay.” She sends him a bright teary smile which sends a throb to his chest. It’s the first time she ever smiled to him like that. Jongdae takes out his outwear and leaves it on the empty dresser, the young lady watching his every movements, ready to shout if he ever tries to escape.

Jongdae’s heart beats ridiculously fast as she clings onto him instantly once he joins her. “Thank you…” After hearing those muffled words, Jongdae bravely pulls her close to his body, sharing the warmth. “I’ll be there whenever you need me,” He rests his lips against Baekri’s forehead momentarily, ignoring the single tear which slips out from one of his eyes as he hopes this will be the first and last they will be sharing the same bed, “I’ll free you from my heart, Baek.”

///

Yifan feels odd. He doesn’t understand what it is because he never felt it before. Whenever Junhee is near or close to him, his heart suddenly races. It’s weird because his heart has never reacted like that before. He isn’t sure he likes it or not but he doesn’t mind. Whenever Junhee holds his hand or links her arm with his whenever their parents get suspicious of them, he feels overwhelmed and defeated at the same time.

Overwhelmed because they’re able to be close.

Defeated because it’s only for their cover.

He’s sure his wife doesn’t feel the same way. It’s him who always become flustered. Yifan really wants to talk about this matter to someone but he has no one. There’s no way he’s going to tell this to his mother. His parents will definitely go berserk if they found he and Junhee are faking their relationship all this time. The back of his head starts to buzz a little, indicating a headache is about to form.

“You okay?”

Junhee grabs his elbow to stop them from walking, eyeing him with pure concern. Yifan wants to curse himself because he’s already melting just by the small caring gesture. “I-I’m good,” He fails to speak properly as he stammers, catching Madam Kim’s attention as she stops too. The elder woman pats his cheek which is quite colourless, “You’re quite pale, dear. Are you sick?”

Junhee tenses up. The last time her husband fell sick, it was terrible. She unknowingly stands close to him, worried already, “Do you want to sit down?” The trio are currently in a mall. Madam Kim wanted their company to choose a perfect housewarming gift to her elder sister. They have went to a few gift shops already but none of the presents on display took Madam Kim’s attention.

“I actually skipped lunch today,” Yifan sheepishly tells them as he looks down, missing the looks of surprise from the ladies. It’s almost eight and he hasn’t even eaten a thing? “Are you for real?” Madam Kim stares at him disbelief before glancing at the equally shocked Junhee. “Let’s go and eat something,” Junhee links her arm with her husband’s and takes her mother’s hand as she searches for a Chinese cuisine.

Yifan tries hard to calm his rapidly beating heart at the meantime. “I understand that there’s a lot of work to do,” Madam Kim starts scolding him once they’re seated, “But that doesn’t mean you have to abandon your priorities. Health is important, dear.” Yifan bows his head slightly, “I’m sorry, Mother.” Junhee sighs as she stares at her husband. He indeed looks pale. It looks like she needs to cook on her own at their house after this.

She will do lunch boxes for him and herself. First of all, she needs to practice cooking on her own though. “And you,” Madam Kim stares sharply observes her daughter who flinches a little, “Why haven’t you keeping your eyes on him?” Junhee stares down at the table with shame and guilt, avoiding her mother’s glare. “We’ll go home after this. I’ll ask our family butler to get the gift,” The elder lady takes the menu book after none of them utter a word.

The dinner is mostly quiet. Junhee keeps glancing on her husband. He’s really hungry, judging by how quick he gobbles down everything even though he’s politely consuming his meal. “Is everything good?” She asks after leaning into his side a little. Yifan seems to be too hungry not to notice their current proximity, tearing the fried chicken with the utensils, “It’s so-so. As long it can satisfy my stomach, I’m good.”

“You should start cooking, Jun,” Madam Kim throws a pointed look towards her daughter. “I know,” She pouts with guilt, “Let me have another test with Madam Wu? I’m not confident cooking on my own yet.” Yifan immediately retorts, “We can cook together.” Junhee looks at her husband, perplexed. “Aww,” Madam Kim coos at the pair who are staring at each other.

In an instant, they shift their gaze on her. “I can already imagine you teaching Junhee. You’ll be giving her back hugs and do more sweet things just like in dramas. How cute!” Yifan’s cheeks heats up just by imagining it and his biggest mistake is looking at his wife. Junhee immediately notices the changing colours of his face so she calms her flustered husband by holding his hand under the table, “Stop making him embarrassed, Mom.”

Yifan feels his whole face heating up now. “Are you embarrassed, dear? No, right? See, he’s not embarrassed, Jun,” Madam Kim makes a face to her daughter even though her son-in-law hasn’t said a word. “Sh-Shall we go?” Yifan fakes a cough as he fixes his collar without looking at the ladies. “Late for your bedtime, dear?” Junhee blushes this time, “Mom! Stop it!” She whispers out loud, frowning at her mother sharply.

Kyurin only winks at her. Junhee only rolls her eyes before excusing herself first. She accompanies Yifan to pay the bill at the counter, her mother watching them with adoration. “I don’t really know if either of you are really together or not,” She gets up from her seat, mumbling to herself, “I really hope everything works out well for you two.” She then heads to the couple’s side, teasing them more about getting late to bed.

“I hope you don’t mind Mom about the things she said tonight,” Junhee puts on her seatbelt and sighs loudly, “I wish I can stop her from teasing us.” Yifan drives out of the Kim’s after dropping Junhee’s mother, “It’s okay. It’ll be the same if we’re out with Ma.” She nods in agreement. The ride is silent afterwards. Yifan can feel the slight uncomfortable air between them though. He doesn’t know why.

Maybe he’s the one who’s feeling it. “I hope you aren’t upset,” Junhee pats on her husband’s shoulder before smiling at him a little forcibly once their eyes meet, “Let’s hope our cover won’t be blown by their doings.” Yifan assumes his wife must have felt the tensed silence between them. “Yeah,” He ignores the odd ache in his chest as he continues driving, focusing on the empty road, “Let’s hope that.”

The pair has the same routine when they’re home. One will head upstairs first and the other will follow after checking the gates are or aren’t locked. Yifan gapes around the luxurious interior of the house. It’s sure too big for two people to live in. He and Junhee never had the chance to properly look around even though they have lot of time after work. Yifan sighs as he takes the stairs, deciding to look at the house next time.

That’s what he thought after they got married on March. It has been half a year already. During shower, Yifan thinks about what he felt earlier. He presses his palm against his wet torso. His heart is beating fast as he thinks about it. He tries to recall memories before and after they were wedded. The lunch after meeting the seamstress. Junhee’s visit when he was sick. Her second visit. Their wedding day. Their wedding kiss.

Yifan heads over to the sink to look at himself at the mirror. Not only his heart is racing, his cheeks are colouring too. He’s perplexed right now. Does he really like Junhee? How does liking someone feels like? How does it work? How does it changes to love? Yifan grabs the hair shampoo and pours an amount before he washes his hair with it, staring at himself intensely at the mirror.

He doesn’t know what he’s feeling but he likes it but, he isn’t sure. He never felt this feeling before so he’s kind of attentive of it. What if it’s a bad thing? He groans loudly before heading under the shower. Yifan takes his time drying his hair, staring at the mirror which is attached to the huge wardrobe. He puffs out an amount of air out of distress. His head is full of doubts and questions and he feels like exploding already by thinking too much.

It looks like he can’t sleep tonight.

So he decides to do something silly. “Junhee?” Yifan peeks inside the dim room as he calls out. Much to his delight, his wife has dozed off, a book lying on her covered stomach. She must have fallen asleep while reading it. Slowly trudging to the bed, he stares at her. She has her hair tied up into a messy bun again, face totally bare from makeup, lips slightly dry. It isn’t a few seconds before he sits on the edge, his palms resting against the soft sheets as he stares blankly at the door.

How can someone look so beautiful when they’re sleeping?

“Can’t sleep?”

Yifan almost falls face-first on the floor in shock upon hearing his wife’s groggy voice. “J-Junhee,” He tries to look cool but fails anyway by stuttering, “You’re awake?” The lady covers as she yawns after sitting up straight. She then sends him a sleepy smile, “Just napping.” Yifan nods stupidly. He brings back his sigh to the door, contemplating whether to run or—

“You haven’t answered my question,” Junhee suddenly holds onto his forearm, startling Yifan, “Are you feeling sick? Is that why you aren’t sleeping?” Yifan’s brain is panicking to form a fake answer. He gently peels her hand away, “I…” Junhee squints her eyes to look at him, vision still