If Only...
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Jaebum groaned, sitting up and glaring at his alarm clock as it blared at him incessantly. Hitting the snooze button, he rolled over to catch a few more precious moments of sleep. However, before his alarm had the chance to ring again, he grudgingly stood up and started to get ready for class. He couldn't be late for art, since that was his major and he was very serious about it. Getting dressed, he rushed to his school, getting there just in time for class. Sitting down in his usual seat, he glanced over at the student next to him, frowning as guilt and pain washed over him. The seat that was now taken by a young woman had been the constant seat of his former best friend and lover, Jinyoung.


Sighing and running his hand through his ruffled black hair, he turned back to the art teacher. His mind kept returning to the day he had last seen Jinyoung. That had been the most painful day of his life. It could have ended so differently. If only he hadn't left. Everything would be so much better and he wouldn't have this sick feeling in his stomach. Who was he kidding? His entire body hurt when he thought about Jinyoung. That had been the worst day of his life. 

Swallowing hard, he took a deep breath and turned back to the teacher. He couldn't do anything about the past, but he could have done things differently. Oh, how he wished that he had held on, instead of letting Jinyoung walk out that door. He could still remember that day like it was yesterday, instead of four months and three days ago...


(Four Months and Three Days Earlier) 

Jaebum smiled, watching as Jinyoung got ready to go to their school's annual Christmas party. His boyfriend always looked great in black, and this was no exception. He was breathtaking, even if he thought he looked dorky. Dorky was adorable, and Jinyoung would never believe him that he liked his ears. He loved everything about him, and this was just a small example of why. He was beautiful, inside and out. 


"What?" Jinyoung laughed nervously, straightening his sleek jacket. 


Jaebum smiled and shook his head. "Nothing. Are you ready to go?" 


Jinyoung wrinkled his nose, nodding. "Yeah. You know how much I love parties. You, one the other hand, will be happy to hang out with everyone, being your charming self, as usual." He laughed at his own joke, sighing. "Alright. Let's go. I guess." 


Jaebum smiled again. His boyfriend would never understand how cute he looked when he complained, and wouldn't discourage it now. "Yeah, let's go. Jackson's going to be mad if we don't show up." 


Jinyoung rolled his eyes, kissing him. "Yeah. Whatever. Let's just go, so we can get back her sooner." 



When they arrived at the party, they noticed that someone had really gone all out with the decorations, putting up Christmas lights all over the house, and a huge tree in the corner, drowned in Christmas lights. The two young men were unsure of who's house this was, until the evening was halfway past, and the clock was nearing 11:00. 


At 10:54, Jaebum heard a voice cal his name, and his heart caught in his throat. Bristling, he turned around to see Ukwon standing there, staring at him. Jinyoung immediately looked down, in through his teeth. It was a sign of insecurity that Jaebum hated seeing, and he wished that he could just make Ukwon disappear. 


Taking a deep breath, he smiled at him, feeling wary and unsure the entire time. They hadn't ended well, and he certainly didn't want Jinyoung to see this. "Hi, Ukwon," he replied quietly, swallowing hard. "I didn't know you would be here." He wasn't going to lie and tell him that he was happy to see him, because he certainly wasn't. Jinyoung was nervous enough, as it was. 
Jinyoung glanced at Ukwon, then Jaebum. "I'm going to go get some refills and let you two catch up." Jaebum could see the hurt expression on his face, remembering their conversation when they had first started dating. They had promised to avoid their exes, leaving the past where it should be. Jaebum knew he was breaking that promise now, but ignored it. He would fix things later, and Jinyoung would understand. 

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