All Over Again

A cup of her world

“Ji, let’s start all over again.”

 

She opened her sleepy eyes slowly, adjusted the blurry vision in front of her. After 5 seconds, she finally awoke, staring blankly at her blue ceiling. She heaved a long deep sighs. It was a dream, the same dream that had been lingering in the corner of her head. She then sarcastically smirked to herself.

“Pathetic.”

That petite figure stood up from her comfort zone, swayed her short legs lifelessly toward the bathroom. Several sighs escaped from her lips, signing no other expression beside melancholy. It sounded just like some blue serenade that people listen whenever their days get cloudy. She was being all blue. Her phone rang, she picked up after the third sound.

“Hello?”

“Are you free today?”

“I’m afraid not.”

“Are you alright?”

“Not really.” Again, a soft gloomy sigh escaped from her lips.

“Where are you going today?”

“Tracing memories.”

“Ji….”

“It’s alright, don’t worry. Call you back later and thanks a lot.”

Yeah, she was indeed going to trace her memories, their memories to be exact. It had been a month after her latest break-up. The hardest break-up with the person she shared everything the most. She left her house like a tiny bird left its nest. Half scared and excited, she wondered would she eventually cry or would she be alright? This girl liked to suffocate herself with sadness. Unlike other people who definitely tried their best to avoid and forget their memories with their ex-partners, she, on the other hand, chose to embrace all the delicate pain in order to heal herself. Odd. Yes, this girl is different. Busy with her thoughts, her short legs stopped. She was there.

“Ji, come here.” That person patted the empty seat beside him. She smiled as walked closer to him, claimed the empty seat beside that person gladly.

She reached the tip of the old bench near the big oak tree before the small lake. She smeared a small smile, her chest was thumping, and the delicate pain knocked the surface of her heart. Slow. Her tiny hand caressed along the cold bench before she sat at the same spot as back then. She looked around as inhaled the trace of spring’s wind, embraced her aching heart warmly. Her gaze fixed on the blooming cherry blossom, her most favorite part of spring, their spring. The wind blew gently as brought several petals with it. Those fallen petal had dance alongside the wind’s touch before finally hugged the ground, she mumbled to herself.

“Was it hurt? Fall from your tree?”

Again, a soft plain sigh escaped. She then stared blankly at the noiseless lake in front of her. This place had always been this quiet and calm. She wondered what that person felt about today. Did he feel the same sadness as her or did he just fine? Their separation was rather calm, without any strong arguments or curse here and there. They ended their knot in a good term. She was still this hurt after all, just like the fallen petal, her hope to fix their relationship also fell and hit the ground hard. As the fallen cherry blossom petal delightedly hugged the ground, her fallen petal smacked it rather hard until it crushed her. That person didn’t want to hurt her any longer yet again, she loved suffocating herself. That person chose to stop the pain while she, herself, embraced it tightly. Their 3 years relationship had ended.

“It must be nice if the two of us here, on this bench like we used to.”

She seemed can’t erase everything or didn’t want to erase it at all. That person had always been her loyal companion and her secret cave, a place to learn and lean whenever the cruel reality hit her. That person had helped her to change bit by bit. She wasn’t good at conveying her true feelings, she suppressed her feelings most of time in order to pretend that she was all fine. She saw herself as a burden whenever she felt sad but that person changed that, he told her that it was fine to convey your true feelings without felt bad about it. That person unlocked the big tough metal door inside her heart and built a bridge connected to the world, his world, her world, their own little world.

“Oh, you are here.”

That familiar voice woke her up, she knew that voice. She longed for that voice, the warmth of that voice lingered around her broken heart. That petite figure turned her head around, that person was there, standing behind her. She lost words.

“Why are you here?”

Her mindlessly asked him, didn’t know what else to ask. Still confused yet managed herself to hide her pain. She had always been this good to pretend, she didn’t want to be seen as weak, though the fact that she was badly wounded and fragile lately. He didn’t answer straightly instead took the empty seat beside her.

“Tracing memories”

Another cherry blossom petal fell and drowned in the middle of the lake, her heart ached.

“It has been awhile since the last time we are here right? About a year ago?”

She didn’t know how to respond, that girl tried her best not to cry in front of that person. Not now. She nodded.

“A year ago.” They spoke in union. Her eyes were too hot to hold her tears, she managed to chuckle.

“Yes, at our 1st anniversary.” He added.

That person still remembered, how their very 1st anniversary at this place. It was her idea to celebrate their anniversary here, simple picnic in a quiet place. She didn’t like crowd. They kept silent for a moment, busy with their thoughts. When two souls still loved and cared for each other but their circumstance made them end their journey as pairs in order to protect one of them, it was this painful for both parties.

“I miss you.” He spoke.

The wind hit the tree scarcely, made the cherry blossom petals scattered all over the place, leaving the tree alone, her world crumbled down. Her defense crack before it was actually broke down into pieces. She missed him too, a lot. How his words comfort her and gave her unexplainable warmth. Her tears rolled down like a midnight raindrop on her window.

“It was hard for me too.”

His gaze fixed on the lake, conveying his truest feelings to her. He was as hurt as her. He regretted things, he should had not let go of his cherry blossom petal. The tree should have tried its best to embrace the little cherry blossom petal.

“I still love you the same, like the very first time I confessed to you.”

Her sobbing voice sounds like a painful serenade in his ears, she barely answered. choked up with such a sore words from her cloudy heart. She was suffocating with her own confessions.

“I hate you to the point that I can’t even let you go, not now or in meantime.”

That person came closer, cut the remaining space between them. He embraced that petite figure beside him, that girl looked so fragile. Her arms reached for the longing figure, embraced him rather tightly, it was too blurry to grasp the reality. She cried, he cried along with her, they cried.

“Ji, let’s start all over again.”

She opened her eyes, frightened that it was just like her dream this morning. She blinked her eyes several times; it was still blurry before she finally got adjusted. Everything seemed vivid, it was real after all. He was still there; she was still in his arms. Their eyes met, fixing those warmth orbs which felt like home to each other.

“Yes.”

Those four pair orbs smiled wholeheartedly, forming a crescent moon shape. Their remained hopes had finally merged. Building a new hope for their unfinished journey, they started everything all over again. They tried to heal each other wounds, touched it with meaningful desire. The tree had finally had the courage to protect the cherry blossom petal, holding its closer before embracing it fully. They remained the same after all despite the windy and stormy road. Baekhyun and Jieun started their story all over again, vaguely walked side by side to the familiar road that they had built together, conjoining the pinkish fragments together. The two wounded souls were slowly healed.

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SkyeButterfly
#1
Chapter 19: I enjoyed reading through all of these stories. Thank you for writing about Baekhyun and Jieun! They're just an adorable ship, and I wish they had musical collaborations. 🥺
SkyeButterfly
#2
Chapter 19: another cute au with them 🥺💕 thank you for writing this!
SkyeButterfly
#3
Chapter 18: I wish there was a continuation of this with their marriage and married life...
SkyeButterfly
#4
Chapter 18: AWWW THIS WAS SO CUTE!!! Baekhyun's proposal song was beautiful 🥰
SkyeButterfly
#5
Chapter 17: Jieun is Baekhyun's light 🥺💖
SkyeButterfly
#6
Chapter 16: Cute 💕
SkyeButterfly
#7
Chapter 15: Awww this was nice! The first paragraph was really pretty with the descriptions of the sky and Jieun. After all the angsty chapters, this was a nice change.
SkyeButterfly
#8
Chapter 14: Unfortunately, sometimes people just drift away and relationships don’t work out…
SkyeButterfly
#9
Chapter 14: This was so sweet and cute in the beginning, with them as children, but then it slowly got so angsty 😭
SkyeButterfly
#10
Chapter 13: Awww this is so sad 😭🥺