160828 Sunday

“You say all that, but you’re not giving yourself happiness, Soo.”

Chanyeol’s words run over and over his mind.

“I know you can love him. Somehow, something inside me tells me that you can love him like that.”

It had been so frustrating, hearing that come from Chanyeol. As if Chanyeol couldn’t love him like that. As if Chanyeol will never love him like that.

“You’re just afraid of being rejected again, aren’t you?”

Kyungsoo hates it, hates how Chanyeol speaks as if he’ll never look at Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo hates it more because there’s always a part of him that believes Chanyeol will love him like he loves Chanyeol.

He’ll never love you like that. Kyungsoo tells himself, but never to avail. He can’t love you anymore, so stop hoping.

But a part of him hoped, hoped to God that one day Chanyeol will move on from Baekhyun and finally start looking at the man he is, instead of treating him just like a friend.

After all, Baekhyun and Chanyeol broke up so now he has a chance.

Maybe it was that sort of hope that clung to his skin, giving him inspiration for the next few days … until Jungsoo told him what had happened.

“Baekhyun’s trying to protect Chanyeol.” Jungsoo said, wrinkles adorning his forehead. “I’m Baekhyun’s bodyguard and I’m here to help Baekhyun complete his mission. Baekhyun is trying to protect Chanyeol’s innocence and identity.”

Maybe right then no one thought about the dangers that came with agreeing to help. Kyungsoo didn’t either, until he sat on the plane with his nine other friends, and it was only then did he feel the impending sense of doom rising within him.

Chanyeol had been kidnapped.

Chanyeol may be in danger.

Chanyeol can get hurt.

And even despite this situation, all Kyungsoo had been thinking about was how it’s mutual it’s mutual it’s mutual.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol are in love. It’s mutual. And Kyungsoo sees it now.

They’re so in love that Baekhyun had confronted his traumatic past, so in love that Chanyeol dove right into danger even though he knew he had no chance. Chanyeol would give up the only thing that was given to him by his real family just so Baekhyun’s light won’t be extinguished, and Baekhyun would throw everything down to try and save Chanyeol even if he had to stand up to all those men.

Kyungsoo knows now he can’t ever come between them, no matter what.

Off the plane and in the car, Kyungsoo kept thinking about the two of them, even when all his other friends were talking strategies on how to kick the criminals’ butts.

When the car stops, Kyungsoo isn’t prepared for it even when the others urge to get out. Distracted, he holds the baseball bat in his hands as he steps out of the car.

It’s a blur.

Around him, he hears shouts and grunts but he’s just clutching the baseball bat in his hands because his brain still hasn’t focused on anything. Maybe while everyone had been getting their hearts ready for this combat, Kyungsoo had still been sulking over the fact that he’ll never have a chance with Chanyeol, something he always knew, but could never have the heart to fully admit to himself.

And then, without him realising, a man suddenly pops up in front of him, big and scary and golden tooth shining in the bright sunlight. Kyungsoo doesn’t have time to be scared, watching with wide eyes as the man lifts up his metal baton with one burly arm.

“Kyungsoo!” He hears a shout from a distance, and suddenly the man is out of his sight, stumbling sideways. He feels someone grab his arm frantically, and when he blinks, he registers Jongin by his side.

“Jongin.” He whispers, and when he does, his mind snaps back into reality. His ears tune into the background noise turning from a buzz to actual decipherable sounds, and then he grabs Jongin’s wrist, focused now.

“I’ll get you back …” The man seethes, metal baton in his hand as he takes slow steps towards the two of them.

“Jongin …” Kyungsoo wants to move Jongin behind him, to protect a Jongin who has no weapon but his bare hands, but Jongin stands firm on the ground, tan fingers reaching down to take his bat from him.

“I’ll distract him, you go get help.” Jongin whispers.

“Wai –” Kyungsoo starts, but Jongin roars out loud and then chargers forward. The man runs towards Jongin too. Knowing it’s no use to call Jongin back for fear he’ll distract the younger, Kyungsoo breaks off into a run. His heart is beating hard in his chest right now, but this time it’s not fear for Chanyeol, it’s fear for Jongin.

Looking around, everyone seems preoccupied with beating up someone, so he instead looks around the ground for a weapon. He finds a big rock in the corner and quickly rushes to pick it up with two of his hands, hoping to land a surprise attack on the criminal. When he rushes back, his eyes widen in horror when he sees what’s before him.

The man has Jongin under him and is smashing the metal baton on Jongin’s bloody knee. Jongin is crying out in pain, and …

.

With a fury that’s never occupied his body before, Kyungsoo runs towards the two of them. The man seems too into torturing Jongin to notice his presence, surprisingly, until he is right up the stupid man’s face.

“ this, .” Kyungsoo roars as he smashes the rock down on the top of the man’s head, then brings his knee up to the man’s nose, using that momentum to push the man towards the floor.

The man, obviously unconscious, lies on the grass, and Kyungsoo stands there in shock, at a loss for what to do.

“Soo …” Sweat is beading down Jongin’s forehead, and he’s gritting his teeth, hands reaching up to clutch his bloody leg.

“Shoot, Jongin …” Kyungsoo bends down immediately, lending his shoulder against a Jongin who looks like he’s about to pass out. “Come on.” Jongin offers his arm and Kyungsoo winds it around him, then lifts him up just as he hears Chen shout a really loud “LET’S GO IN!”

“Hold on for a little longer.” Kyungsoo whispers, snaking his hand around Jongin’s waist as he leads him to the small little hut where everyone else has disappeared into. When he walks in, he can’t see anything because everyone else is blocking his view, but then everyone’s cursing and Jungsoo is pushing past him and finally he can see Chanyeol.

Chanyeol, whose shirt is bloodied and cheeks stained with tears, eyes looking horrified and lost and afraid.

He’s okay.

And then everything Chanyeol and everything Baekhyun leave his mind, Jongin possessing every crevice of his mind as he starts helping Jongin back to the car with a new determination. Right now, Jongin is priority, and even though Kyungsoo doubts Jongin will die from his injury alone, he doesn’t want Jongin to be hurt a second longer than he has to be.

Jongin hasn’t said a word, but maybe that’s because he’s too in pain to. It’s only when they’re alone in one of Baekhyun’s cars and Jongin’s leaning his head against Kyungsoo does the younger start speaking.

“How’s Chanyeol?” He asks, breathless.

“Fine.” Kyungsoo replies. “Your le –”

“How’s Baekhyun?”

“… I’m not sure.” Kyungsoo replies hastily. “What about –”

“You?” Jongin whispers, eyes still closed as his chest heaves up and down.

“Huh?” Kyungsoo asks dumbly.

“Are you okay?” Jongin pushes out once more, and then he opens those eyes, letting them bore into Kyungsoo’s.

Strange.

At that moment, Kyungsoo felt his heart race.

“I’m fine.” Kyungsoo whispers back, flustered. Jongin closes his eyes and he smiles.

“That’s good.”

“…” At a loss for words, Kyungsoo sits and stares at Jongin, watches sweat beads roll down tan skin. At that moment, Kyungsoo felt so tempted to wipe them off, as if that will make Jongin feel better about his knee.

Oh yeah, his knee.

“How can you go and ask about others?” Kyungsoo scolds. “How’s your knee?”

“I feel like I’m dying.” Jongin says, chuckling breathlessly. “It hurts like hell.”

“That’s not funny, Jongin.” Kyungsoo replies. Screw it. He thinks to himself as he pulls down his sleeve and lifts up his arm to pat away Jongin’s sweat.

“Don’t worry, Soo.” Jongin continues. “Chanyeol will be fine.”

“It’s not Chanyeol I’m worried about. It’s you.” Only do those words leave his lips does Kyungsoo understand how much he means it. Jongin doesn’t reply, and doesn’t talk for the rest of the ride.

Jongin’s face is neutral and almost pissed when the doctors patch him up. Kyungsoo stands there worriedly, staring almost blankly as the doctor carefully bandages Jongin’s knee. Kyungsoo looks back up at the younger’s face, watching how sweat and dirt clings onto the other’s skin. For the first time, Kyungsoo is watching Jongin and finding him handsome.

What are you thinking? Kyungsoo blinks as he looks away, staring at the ground and shaking the thoughts out of his mind. Even when he looks back up, he finds Jongin’s serious demeanour attractive.

Since when have I thought of Jongin that way?

“Done.” The doctor says as he stands up. “You can rest here for the night.”

“I’m not staying at the hospital, if that’s what you’re saying.” Jongin says. “I need to see my friends.”

“You won’t be able to see the injured one for at least today, if not for a few more days.” The doctor argues. “There is no point trying to argue about it. No doctor will let you see a patient immediately after an operation, now stay in bed for the night.” Jongin wants to protest as he sits up, but when he catches Kyungsoo’s stern expression, he sinks down like a puppy.

“I’ll tell you how everything is.” Kyungsoo says softly, and then he follows the doctor out of Jongin’s room.

“How’s his leg, doctor?” Kyungsoo asks. “How long will it take to heal?”

“A few months.” The doctor replies grimly.

“His dance competition is in half a year.” Kyungsoo says. “How long do you think he’ll be able to start practising?”

“… I’m afraid he’ll never be able to dance again.” The doctor whispers, but in which the words scream out in the empty hallway.

“You idiot!” Kyungsoo shouts, opening the door with a slam and then closing it with a slam, such that Jongin flinches.

“Kyungsoo?” He calls out uncertainly, but Kyungsoo is storming towards him, and when he’s close enough, he can see angry tears in the older’s eyes. “What’s up?”

“You, that’s what’s up!” Kyungsoo seethes. “You idiot, did you for a second think about your dream? What if you’ll never be able to dance again?”

“…” Jongin opens his mouth, then closes it again.

“You idiot! You should’ve let me distract the guy while you run off to get help, at least if he smashes my knee with a baton, I’d have nothing to lose!” Jongin whispers something under his breath, so softly that Kyungsoo can’t hear it.

“What?!” Kyungsoo pushes out impatiently.

“No.” Jongin replies loudly, turning to stare at Kyungsoo with defiance.

“W-What?” Kyungsoo’s anger is slowly fading, only because he’s surprised at how much Jongin doesn’t regret it. “What the hell does that mean? Do you think this is funny? Do you think that if you cut off your leg it’ll grow back –”

“Of course not!” Jongin shouts, and when he does, his voice is much louder than Kyungsoo’s, such that Kyungsoo blinks and stops. “I’ll never for a second let you get hurt if I can do anything about it. I’m not going to stand there and watch someone beat you up like that. Do you think it’s funny for friends to watch their friends get beaten to death?”

“But … that was your dream.” Kyungsoo whispers.

“This is something you’ll never understand.” Jongin says lowly. “How much I am willing to do for you, Soo, is something you’ll never understand.”

Kyungsoo stops completely, breath hitched, heart racing.

“You should know by now that I don’t just “like” you, right?” Jongin says as he sits up, turning to stare at Kyungsoo right in the eyes, rendering Kyungsoo breathless. “I don’t regret saving you one bit, if I can see you here right now, standing in front of me, healthy and safe.”

Kyungsoo bites his lip, heart still racing. For the first time, he’s looking at Jongin and not feel like he wants to pat Jongin on the head and tell him that Jongin is his dongsaeng.

“It’s my dream, you’re right. But your safety mattered more.” Jongin whispers, and his expression softens. “Forget about Chanyeol, Soo. Can’t you look at me instead?”

Kyungsoo mutters.

“Hm?”

“I’m looking.” Kyungsoo whispers.

“Not just like that.” Jongin sighs, frustrated. “Look at me as a man, Kyungsoo. Why don’t you ever get it? Loving Chanyeol will only hurt you. He’s brought you nothing but pain, he’ll … he’ll …” Jongin stops, voice fading away.

“He’ll never love me.” Kyungsoo finishes.

“Yeah.” Jongin whispers. “Especially now that we both know … both know that, you know … Baekhyun loves him too.” Kyungsoo is silent. “I want you to stop hurting yourself. I want you to know that there is not only Chanyeol in this world. There are so many others out there that can love you, and that are deserving of your love.”

“Are you deserving of my love?” Kyungsoo asks seriously.

“Of course I am.” Jongin replies confidently, and he grins.

“Then I’ll …” Kyungsoo takes a deep breath. Lets go. Takes a deep breath.

And then he lets go.

“I’ll try to give it.”

“Wait what?” Jongin stares at him like he’s joking.

“Chanyeol’s right.” Kyungsoo straightens his back. “It’s my indecisiveness that hurt everyone. If I opened my mind and my heart, you would never have to resort to this.”

“What the hell does that mean?!” Jongin shouts.

“I’m sorry Jongin.” Kyungsoo whispers. “Is it still too late to date me?”

“Yes!” Jongin shouts. “I mean no, it’s not too late. But yes, I will date you, if that’s what you’re asking, Soo.” Then Jongin reaches his hand out, and Kyungsoo takes it, heart still racing in his chest, especially when he sees Jongin shoot him a dazzling smile.

When has Jongin ever looked this handsome?

“If this is what it’ll take for you to realise your feelings for me, then I’ll have my shin smashed any day.” Jongin jokes.

“I don’t ever want to hear you say that again.” Kyungsoo threatens.

“How’s your leg?” Chanyeol asks as he walks in wearing a suit, his hair slicked back with gel. His tie looks crooked.

“Feeling good.” Jongin replies positively, but his smile fades when Kyungsoo reaches out and grabs Chanyeol’s tie, then pulls him to him. “What are you doing, looking so savvy?”

“To the court.” Chanyeol replies smoothly, ears flushing when Kyungsoo starts fixing his tie. “Soo, uh –”

“Kyungsoo, no.” Jongin whispers, his voice on the edge of whiny. Chanyeol feels Kyungsoo freeze and then step back, hands in the air. Chanyeol raises an eyebrow as he grabs hold of his tie, but then Jongin’s hands are reaching out and then he’s the one holding Chanyeol’s tie and then he’s the one that’s fixing it for Chanyeol.

“Uh, is there something I’m missing here?” Chanyeol asks dumbly. Jongin is grinning widely.

“Soo here is just fixing your tie not because he likes you, but because he doesn’t like untidy things. So I’m fixing it for you in his place.”

“Um … okay …” Chanyeol lets out slowly, and Kyungsoo chuckles in the corner.

“He’s dating me, Chanyeol.” Jongin finally says after pulling the tie right up Chanyeol’s throat such that he yelps and pulls himself away. He coughs, eyes wide.

“What?!” Chanyeol stares from Kyungsoo to Jongin, and waits for the denial that never comes, and the “Jokes!” that also never comes. “Guys …” Jongin watches as Chanyeol steps forward and takes a hold of Kyungsoo’s hand. He’s about to protest, but then Chanyeol is grabbing his hand too and he links both their hands together. Jongin, surprised, looks up at Kyungsoo, who’s smiling warmly down at him … For the first time, looking at him even with the presence of Chanyeol.

Then Chanyeol gently holds their free hands into his own until they are all holding hands with each other, and Chanyeol is grinning brightly.

“I’m so happy guys.” He says. “I hope you guys are happy together for as long as you live.”

“Uh …” Jongin lifts his head to look at the clock stuck on the wall. “Aren’t you late?” Immediately, Chanyeol drops their hands and whips his head to look at the clock. Jongin hears Chanyeol curse under his breath.

“Bye guys!” He calls as he rushes towards the door, tripping and nearly falling in the process. “I’m happy for you guys I really am I hope you guys are really happy together this is the best anyway gotta fight for Baekhyun and make sure that is stuck there forever never fear Park Chanyeol is hereeeeeeee!” Then he’s out the door and he’s gone.

“What did you ever see in him?” Jongin jokes.

“One thing for sure that I fell for in the both of you,” Kyungsoo admits, “is that the both of you fight for who you love.” Kyungsoo squeezes Jongin’s hand and grins, and Jongin grins back.

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