Part 2 (Final)

Fixing Broken Magnets
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FIXING BROKEN MAGNETS (Part 2/ Final)

JooHyun appeared thinner than the last time SeulGi saw her, or was it only SeulGi’s wishful thinking that made JooHyun appear so?

Her skin was still pale, but not in the way that it used to glow before. Her hair, though still kempt and tidy, had lost some of its shine. Her bones were more prominent now, too. Either that or her clothes were just too huge on her that made it look like she was a clothesline.

Was it also possible that her eyes were more sunken now?

“Hey,” SeulGi weakly waved a hand, unsure how to greet the woman in front of her.

A hug seemed too personal and inappropriate with the situation given, and a handshake was too formal and callous to begin with.

So SeulGi did the most normal – at least for her – thing to do in a situation as such, she smiled, “I hope now’s not a bad time to get some of my things?”

She doubted her question and it seemed like she already knew the answer with how JooHyun’s eyes – retreated and defensive – appraised her.

SeulGi was sure that with the time they were given apart would stake her claim of being numb and uncaring when she finally decided to face JooHyun and at long last take all her belongings so she could start anew with SooJung.

But then she saw how JooHyun looked at her, how JooHyun looked at her as if she was scared that SeulGi would hurt her, like SeulGi hadn’t hurt her already.

The way her eyes misted and the way her hands were shaking as she held the door open for SeulGi almost broke through SeulGi’s walls once more.

For JooHyun still looked like a frightened little girl, and SeulGi didn’t know that she could still look more frightened than before,

Before SeulGi served her the divorce papers.

It tore through SeulGi’s insides that she was the reason why this once strong, bubbly woman was now shivering like a leaf hanging to a branch.

“JooHyun,” SeulGi breathed out, and all she wanted was to take JooHyun in her arms and take the pain away – the pain that she herself caused.

But JooHyun cut her off when she opened the door wider as she weakly said, “Come in.”

JooHyun proceeded to the kitchen as SeulGi reluctantly went inside, hanging her coat on the coat stand to buy her more time.

She thought she could do this all in one go without feeling anything anymore, but one look at JooHyun and all her resolve quavered,

More especially when she spotted a glint by JooHyun’s hand and saw that she was still wearing their wedding ring.

There was something that settled in SeulGi’s stomach uneasily and it made her guts clench.

It’s pity. She told herself.

It was pity she was feeling for JooHyun and not love.

Pity that JooHyun had thrown herself to looking like that, pity that JooHyun chose not to care for herself. Yes, it was only pity that SeulGi was feeling at the moment when she saw pictures on the table – pictures of them together.

Concern won over her as she thought that JooHyun might have been holding on to it – their relationship, their broken relationship – too much.

Maybe the toll of this divorce was greater for JooHyun than SeulGi had initially thought and it made her feel guilty.

And for some reason, she hated JooHyun for making her feel that way, when she knew it wasn’t her fault entirely.

A soft clutter of glasses averted her focus, but before she could even settle her eyes to where the sounds came from, JooHyun had already hurriedly settled the tray of glasses down as she frantically snatched the pictures from SeulGi, “Y-You should have called or something before coming here,” JooHyun fumbled, “I could have cleaned the place first.”

Even though they’re almost divorcees now, SeulGi couldn’t help but still worry about the person she spent a whole lot of her life with.

She just couldn’t stop caring about her even if she desperately wanted to already, “Why haven’t you kept those yet?”

She thought JooHyun would have snapped at her, or would ask her why she even cared.

Maybe it would have been better if JooHyun actually went with the offensive and started accusing her instead. Because then, JooHyun wouldn’t be able to look down and meekly apologize,

So JooHyun wouldn’t be able to rip through SeulGi’s heart with how she looked so, so vulnerable right then.

Why wasn’t she giving SeulGi more reasons to absolutely hate her?! Why couldn’t she fight back so SeulGi would have an easier time leaving her?!

“I’m sorry,” JooHyun bit her bottom lip to stop it from trembling, and her mere apology caused pain to shoot through SeulGi’s chest, “But please don’t worry about me. I-I was about to,”

She huffed, as if speaking alone took so much energy from her, “Please don’t worry, I would keep them later.”

JooHyun looked so dishevelled and so out of her element that SeulGi couldn’t help but put a hand on her shoulder to stop her from shaking, she said, “I still worry about you,”

She said to hopefully comfort JooHyun, but she guessed it was the wrong thing to say because JooHyun flinched instead and moved away to pretend to clean something.

“What are you saying?” JooHyun tried to make it sound like a joke as she wiped a spot on the table that SeulGi’s sure wasn’t even there, “You make it sound like I’m a child.”

“JooHyun,” SeulGi tried to hold her by the arm but JooHyun’s quicker to shift to the other side.

“Now, now,” JooHyun said as though SeulGi wasn’t talking to her, “You may go upstairs and get your things. I separated some again, but I-I got kind of busy with work so I wasn’t able to really get them all,”

She continued with her rambling all the while she was cleaning and wiping non-existent dirt, “Oh, or you can have some snacks to go with if you want. It’s right over here.”

JooHyun hurriedly walked by her but SeulGi was faster to catch her arm, “JooHyun,” She lowly warned, but it seemed JooHyun was having none of it as she tried to break free, she said, “Let go, SeulGi. Or I won’t be able to get you a drink.”

She was still trying to break loose but SeulGi only held her tighter, she said more firmly, “JooHyun.”

And JooHyun only replied just as strong, “I said let me go, SeulGi.”

JooHyun stopped resisting but she was still turned away from SeulGi so SeulGi only waited for her to continue.

When JooHyun didn’t speak so much a word in their prolonged silence, it was SeulGi who broke it with, “We have to talk about this.”

A snicker escaped JooHyun’s lips before SeulGi heard, “And what is there to talk about, SeulGi?” JooHyun sharply turned to her which made her lose her grip on the woman’s arm, and she wondered if she bruised JooHyun with it,

“My poor coping skills? My inability to be as content and as happy as you are? Is that what you wanted to talk about? Huh, SeulGi?!”

SeulGi heard every shriek and every word but seeing JooHyun like that panged her more than the words themselves, “I’m not like you who’s able to easily move on as if our relationship was just a one-time thing or a simple nightmare you’re thankful you woke up from! I’m not someone like you who can just forget everything we’ve been through and toss people aside!

“This isn’t easy for me as it is for you, SeulGi!”

“Who said this is easy for me?!” SeulGi answered back, the blame being put on her was too much to take and she felt the need to defend herself, “Do you think you’re the only one struggling whenever I come back here?! Do you know I always needed to brace myself before stepping here and having to walk on eggshells with you?! You’re not the only one who’s having a hard time, JooHyun!”

“Then why push through with this?!” JooHyun snapped back, hands flying upwards without a care as she screeched more words out, “I asked you to stop this, to stop making our lives more complicated, but no!”

She jabbed a finger at SeulGi’s chest, “You decided you still wanted to sleep with your other woman!”

“Don’t bring SooJung into this!” She smacked a hand to the nearest wall to make her point, and she saw how JooHyun briefly shuddered with the impact – either of the slam or of her protectiveness of SooJung, “You know damn well that our marriage was heading for the rocks and it was SooJung who helped me go through with it!” She spewed the words like they were venom in , not caring if they poisoned,

“You let it happen so you have no right to shove it to my face like I was the only culprit in this relationship!”

“And you think I was alright with that?!” JooHyun huffed in disbelief, “That you have another lover besides me? Your wife?!”

“Ex-wife,” SeulGi spat through gritted teeth, not minding the gravity of her words anymore, “Once you sign those damned divorce papers, I will have absolutely nothing to do with you!”

That seemed to smack the air out of JooHyun as she visibly cowered.

SeulGi blinked a few times when she finally realized what she just said. She heard the audible short intakes of air as if JooHyun really stopped breathing for a second.

Like her words really physically hurt, and maybe they did hurt,

Because SeulGi saw the tears threatening out of JooHyun’s eyes before JooHyun brushed them off by closing her eyes instead, a trembling hand on to stop the sobs that SeulGi knew were about to come out.

SeulGi never wanted to be on the offensive, to be the one to hurl words and hurt, and she inwardly cursed herself as she ran a hand through her hair – a habit she developed when she’s frustrated.

But she couldn’t think of any more passive ways to let JooHyun see that they’re truly over.

She thought JooHyun would sign the papers right then and there and throw it at her face with what she just mindlessly said with rage.

But JooHyun’s eyes had always been the most expressive parts of her, and SeulGi saw the flicker of hurt and shame that coursed through those pair.

It was as if JooHyun had snapped from her moment-reverie and her fuming eyes reverted to misted, frightened ones.

Heaviness settled in SeulGi’s chest as she looked at JooHyun’s small frame, the nagging protective feeling so strong.

But she knew that she couldn’t protect JooHyun without hurting her, because how could she protect JooHyun when SeulGi’s the exact reason they’re both hurting?

“JooHyun, I’m sorry I went that far,” SeulGi resignedly said, hands dangling by her side because she suddenly had no idea what to do with them, “I didn’t mean to.”

Response didn’t come quick, and it took more than a beat before JooHyun was able to reply.

“No, no,” JooHyun said just as weakly as she shook her head, “You’re right. I’m the one who should be apologizing. It’s just… I thought the time before the divorce papers came was enough time for me to accept what was happening and handle the inevitable.”

She softly laughed, tried to, “But I guess it was easier said than done, because then I received the papers and I… well,” JooHyun noncommittally shrugged, “I guess reality settled in and reminded me that this was really happening. That this divorce was real.

“I’m sorry,” JooHyun huffed once more and SeulGi saw how she slowly reached for SeulGi’s hand but decided against it and placed it back to her side, “I should have been more matured and accepting about your choices, about this.”

“Please don’t make it sound like I’m the only bad guy here who wanted to end what we had,” SeulGi softly started, “JooHyun, please accept that you’re also a reason why this is happening. It doesn’t help that I already feel bad about this, and you make me feel guiltier when you say things like this was my doing alone.”

JooHyun simply nodded, maybe of acceptance or of defeat, or simply of exhaustion, “I’m sorry, you’re right. I’m also a cause of this one. I’m sorry, SeulGi.” She sighed, “Just… please, maybe come back another day for your things. Give me more time to let this all settle in my mind,” JooHyun seemed so exhausted, it almost sounded as if she was begging, “I don’t want to fight anymore.”

SeulGi didn’t have the energy anymore so she thought that the offer was a good idea, to give her more time to calm down as well.

To give them more time to accept the changes that were quickly approaching, “All right, and maybe I can inform you beforehand this time,” She weakly smiled, “So we won’t find ourselves both in confusion.”

JooHyun weakly smiled back as agreement, “That would be great, I promise to behave better when you return.”

SeulGi watched her intently – with JooHyun biting a lip, her eyes casted down, signs that SeulGi knew by heart meant she was nervous, SeulGi inhaled deeply before reaching for both JooHyun’s hands, “JooHyun, you’re special to me, and you always will be,”

She saw how JooHyun’s eyes widened for a bit before cautiously bringing them up to look at SeulGi, as if she knew SeulGi’s next words would still sting.

But SeulGi couldn’t help but continue with swinging painful words because she needed to – she needed to, “But you have to accept that some things changed between us,” She felt JooHyun’s hand tighten their hold on hers, “You’re my best friend, JooHyun, even before we were lovers, and I want us to still be friends,” SeulGi smiled to lessen the blow,

“But you also have to accept,” And her smile dropped because she had to deliver the final punch to their mess of a relationship,

“That that’s all we’ll ever be.”

---

Exhaustion came over SeulGi faster and harder than she thought it would once she reached home.

She thought that once she was out of JooHyun’s house, the fatigue and stress would wear out, but she never felt this much tired before and even SooJung’s presence couldn’t help with the headache that she was having.

She growled when she heard SooJung’s call for dinner, too tired to move her limbs and she wondered why then when she wasn’t even able to carry much from her eventful trip to JooHyun’s.

SooJung peered from the kitchen and watched her sloppy figure sprawled on the couch, “What in the world happened to you?”

She grunted back a response as she tried to properly sit down, “I think my head’s going to pop off my body soon, this headache’s killing me.”

She kneaded her fingers to her temples for a poor attempt of a massage, “I can’t even blink without my eyes trying to separate from their sockets.” She said as she tried to widely blink repeatedly.

“Do you need some aspirin?”

“No,” SeulGi felt a smile spreading across her face with the concern in the question, making the stress of the day ten times more bearable,

“I just need you.”

SeulGi grinned looking up at SooJung, and when she heard the playful snarl and saw the same smile being thrown at her, she knew she made the right decision of choosing SooJung instead.

---

When JooHyun said she would behave herself upon SeulGi’s return, she wasn’t joking.

SeulGi stood almost uneasily with how warm JooHyun welcomed her, unlike her previous visits where they tiptoed around each other, a knife in hand as they waited for the other to strike.

Yet now as she stared at the woman in front of her, she saw nothing but a friendly smile and a sparkle in JooHyun’s eyes, and she actually wondered who this person was. Like the fragile, delicate woman before was just an illusion SeulGi had.

“Hi, SeulGi,” JooHyun smiled and greeted her before opening the door wider to let her in, “Welcome back.”

“Hey, JooHyun,” SeulGi awkwardly raised a hand before going in and closing the door behind her, “How are you?”

“I’m feeling better, thank you,” JooHyun replied as she took SeulGi’s coat and hanged it for her before returning, “Do you want something to drink?”

The cheerfulness in JooHyun’s voice caught SeulGi off guard and made her wary that she fumbled for a reply, “Oh, n-no. Thank you.”

“Okay, if you say so,” JooHyun flashed a quick smile before heading back to the kitchen, “It’s lunch time, and I’m almost done cooking,” She fastened her apron that SeulGi only then noticed she was wearing, “It would be nice if you could join me.”

It was a question, SeulGi knew, because JooHyun’s eyes gave it away.

She could fake her smile, and control her voice, but SeulGi knew she couldn’t hide the emotions in her eyes.

She saw the fear and worry and trepidation flashed through them, and she knew JooHyun needed to gather more courage than she let on as she asked.

SeulGi didn’t know how to answer, rather, what to answer. She still felt uneasy with this new development in JooHyun’s approach with their separation, but she also knew that JooHyun’s trying her very best to erase some of the awkwardness between them, most especially after their last conversation.

But before she could even reply, JooHyun already answered for her.

 “As friends, SeulGi.”

Her head snapped to JooHyun’s direction and she saw a small smile on JooHyun’s lips, “You’re right,” JooHyun continued, “You… You are also special to me, SeulGi,” She saw the blush creeping on JooHyun’s face, “And I still want to be a part of your life, and you a part of mine. I would also like for us to remain friends. I want to try again.”

“JooHyun, I…” SeulGi averted her eyes because she felt the same blush rushing to her cheeks, “I don’t want to force you or anything.”

“You’re not!” JooHyun said too quickly, “I, I mean… I still want to be friends with you,” JooHyun slowly brought her eyes to look directly at SeulGi, “Even if that’s all you can give,” And quickly glanced away as she quietly admitted,

“Even if that’s all that I can get.”

JooHyun’s admission should have had came off possessive and should have had thrown SeulGi in another fit of why they shouldn’t be together, but nothing came out of it. Only understanding and acceptance.

SeulGi couldn’t help but to smile because she knew that JooHyun finally came to realize where they were headed and jumped aboard to their destination as just friends.

Nothing but casual companions. Nothing deep, nothing personal.

And most importantly, nothing intimate.

“Thank you, JooHyun,” SeulGi smiled brighter, “That means a lot to me.”

She’d said it so whole-heartedly, that she also wished that the slight pain showing in JooHyun’s eyes would just go away.

---

They quickly fell into a comfortable atmosphere after their brief heart-to-heart talk, with JooHyun even helping her sort her heap of a mess which she called her things.

SeulGi crossed out clothing on her to-do list, well, to-get list before moving to her side of the dresser and taking her camera. She saw more clothes and she loudly sighed, “Do they even end? Do I really have that much clothes?”

She heard a light chuckle where JooHyun was and SeulGi unintentionally smiled at the soft sound. She quickly coughed to erase the smile on her face, argued that JooHyun’s laughter was just really contagious and it didn’t mean anything else.

“I’ll actually be surprised if there would be even anything left in this house that is not yours.” JooHyun went beside her to inspect the new stack of unearthed clothes,

Laughter bubbled in SeulGi’s throat as she shook her head, “Is it that many?”

“No,” JooHyun shook her head, “It’s that much.”

They started laughing until it slowly ended, and SeulGi found herself staring at JooHyun’s eyes,

They really are beautiful.

They shared a smile – and had SeulGi’s eyes darted down to JooHyun’s lips? – before they heard the oven’s ‘ding’ and the moment was gone as JooHyun excused herself to check on the food.

The second SeulGi heard the door close, she quickly replayed the moment in her head. There were no fights that ensued, or awkwardness that she dreaded would envelop them again.

No, there was none of those.

There were only smiles, and giggles, and… and memories. Their conversations were smooth, and flowing, and even silence was comfortable.

Was it always that easy between them?

SeulGi shook her head, hoping that it would also clear her mind of thoughts so poisonous. She was there in JooHyun’s house not to reminisce, but to get her things and actually leave JooHyun.

Before her thoughts – her thoughts so harmful – devour her, she heard JooHyun knock at the door before peering inside and telling her that lunch was ready.

She already forgot that she agreed on staying over for lunch with JooHyun, and with her thoughts clouding her mind, SeulGi hoped she could decline and just go home – to go back to SooJung so she would feel at ease and safe again,

But it was too late, JooHyun smiled at her again and SeulGi knew that she was a lost cause.

---

And it was a bad idea, indeed.

Aside from the fact that JooHyun always considered what SeulGi liked, was the fact that JooHyun could be a great conversationalist if she wanted to.

SeulGi who was pinching her own hand to stop them from trembling, SeulGi who was internally reprimanding herself that it was just a simple lunch, not a ing date.

But then JooHyun was gleaming again, and SeulGi wondered how many days were they apart for the other girl to bounce right back to being so damn beautiful.

Easy there, tiger. SeulGi scolded herself.

Though she was also able to see that she wasn’t the only one unnerved by this mundane meeting, because she also saw how JooHyun’s eyes shift from left to right, across the table, her hands fumbling with the dishes and cutlery in attempts to being a good host.

But JooHyun need not prove being a good homemaker, it was only SeulGi there, not the whole town, and so that gave away JooHyun’s nervousness.

“JooHyun,” SeulGi gently held JooHyun’s hand to stop it from going around the dining table, and reassured her instead, “It’s just me.”

JooHyun quickly turned her gaze at their joined hands before quickly catching herself and averting her gaze to SeulGi instead, like a lost lamb, before slightly nodding, “Right,” She slowly exhaled as to calm herself before settling down on her own chair, “You’re right,

“Just you.”

That gave way to one of SeulGi’s small smiles, she retreated her hand promptly and they went back to focus on their own plates.

Silence loomed for a longer second that it almost bordered back to awkward, but then it seemed that JooHyun knew how to navigate the situation better then because she was the one who opened a conversation.

The flow was easy, but they knew the mutual, silent avoidance of personal topics still loomed above their heads. But it proved more difficult because conversations between them had always been straightforward and comfortable that they weren’t able to avoid all landmines in their exchange.

“Do you remember our neighbour Mr. and Mrs. Kim?” JooHyun said with a smile, a hint of mischief in it.

If JooHyun subconsciously said ‘our’ when it was supposed to be only ‘her neighbour’ or that she realized it and just let it slip, SeulGi would never know.

But SeulGi let the little pronoun slide as they were still legally married, and the house was still hers as well, “The one with the naughty kid? Why?”

 “YeRim.” JooHyun supplied.

“Ah, yes, YeRim! The bratty, little child!” SeulGi pointed at JooHyun’s direction as recognition of the kid started to dawn upon her.

YeRim was their seven-year-old neighbour who would occasionally drop by their house to play. She wasn’t that hard to handle, mainly because JooHyun was there, SeulGi thought.

But YeRim was one evil child and SeulGi’s sure that she was from hell with how she had SeulGi wrapped around her literal little finger, “That kid hates me. What’s with her?”

A small giggle escaped JooHyun’s lips before she was able to reply, “She doesn’t hate you, you just can’t handle her.”

“She picks on me!” SeulGi defended herself as she shoved a spoonful of food in , “I had to remind her all the time that I was older than her and she had to respect me.”

JooHyun curtly shook her head as reprimand, “Don’t speak with your mouth full, Seul.”

SeulGi’s heart unintentionally pounded with how JooHyun mindlessly called her, and she brushed the feeling away. Wondering if it was how phantom pain also felt like.

She pouted with the reprimand but nodded and did what she’s told, murmuring right after, and did she hear JooHyun chuckle again?

“She doesn’t hate you,” JooHyun wiped before speaking,

Still very you. SeulGi thought, and she quickly caught herself before she loses control and stare again.

“It’s just her way of showing affection,” JooHyun continued, “She’s actually very fond of you.”

SeulGi playfully scoffed, “Now you’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“I’m not,” JooHyun laughed, “I was about to tell you that she was looking for you the other day and asked me when will you play with her again.”

The statement hung in the air.

The panic in JooHyun’s eyes settling once more with how the harmless question caused them silence. The both of them realizing its impact the same time that it left JooHyun’s mouth.

The realization that it was so much more than they let on. Because there wouldn’t be a future for them. Not even with YeRim casually playing with SeulGi in their house. Because SeulGi wouldn’t be there anymore.

They were treading on dangerous waters with the sudden development of their conversation, because conversations as such opened chances to either go down memory lane or walk up the future – which JooHyun shouldn’t be part of anymore.

The thought somehow made SeulGi uncomfortable again and she wished that JooHyun didn’t notice, so she replied, “O-Oh, maybe I’ll visit them next time.”

JooHyun simply nodded, and focused back on her plate, the awkwardness eating at them again.

SeulGi knew that there were questions that were lurking around them. That the big, white elephant was back in their room and would be left there for another long time.

She failed to realize what the effects of their divorce would be to other people they were connected to. The simple arrangement of visits from neighbours, or calls to their parents, or hanging out with the same circle of friends.

All of those would change after.

SeulGi suddenly didn’t feel like finishing her food. There was a sudden punch to her gut that she wanted to push back.

It’s just anxiety. She reminded herself, she was just anxious of the whole thing.

It may take some time, but she knew that they – JooHyun and her – needed the change.

She closed her eyes in prayer that she be able to hold on until then.

---

Dusk arrived a lot faster than expected, but maybe then it was because they didn’t mind the time.

They were caught up reminiscing about things through photos, and conversations. By the end of her visit, SeulGi packed more memories than things.

“Well, that was eventful,” SeulGi stood by the car, both hands stuffed by the pockets of her jeans, unsure where to be placed. She turned back to face JooHyun who had the courtesy to walk her out.

“Don’t be modest,” JooHyun replied with a smile, the tone of her voice light and sweet, “We barely finished packing all your things. You talked too much, I did most of the work.”

SeulGi smiled back at the playful jeer, JooHyun was the certified neat freak between them, always cleaning up after SeulGi’s mess – all of it.

She smiled wider and she found herself wanting to pull JooHyun in an embrace just like how she did so out of gratitude every time JooHyun looked out after her.

But before her arms could even move an inch, her mind caught up to what her subconscious was about to do.

So she only clenched her fists more.

“I,” Her breath hitched without meaning to, “I had fun today.”

She saw how JooHyun’s eyes glistened at the resigned admission, like JooHyun wasn’t expecting it, hell SeulGi wasn’t expecting it either, but there it was in the open. Something so careless and so sudden and just so honest.

“I…” JooHyun met her eyes quickly before glancing away, a shy blush started to appear on her pale cheeks, “I had fun today, too.”

SeulGi didn’t know why her heart stuttered for a beat at the admission. Her heart was soaring high that she suddenly said, “Can we stay like this?”

If the sudden widening of JooHyun’s eyes was any indication of shock, then she had shocked JooHyun to the afterlife with how huge they were then.

“I, I mean casual!” SeulGi blabbered, suddenly feeling like an idiot, “I-I like how casual we are right now. I… I don’t want to lose you entirely.”

She found herself suddenly not able to look at JooHyun’s direction, her embarrassment greater than her ego had ever been.

Her nails biting onto her palms with each silent second that JooHyun leisurely took, and SeulGi would’ve just opened the damn car and drove away if it continued any longer until JooHyun decided that it was too silent enough.

“I… I don’t want to lose you, too, SeulGi.” She heard JooHyun mumble the words, the raw sincerity in the words catching her off-guard, like she hadn’t prepared enough for it.

Was JooHyun also relieved with the sudden turn of events? From them screeching words at each other to them wanting the other to stay?

“We’re matured enough, aren’t we?” A soft smile graced SeulGi’s lips, “We can still be friends, right?”

It was an initially good idea, it was good for the both of them. They both wanted to stay friends, right?

So why, when SeulGi stared at JooHyun, did JooHyun look away? Why did JooHyun’s eyes harbour pain and hurt inside them? Why did the vulnerability and denial decide to return to JooHyun’s face?

Did JooHyun not want to be friends with her anymore? Didn’t JooHyun say that she didn’t want to lose SeulGi entirely, too? Was this not a good idea after all?

Or… Or did JooHyun still wanted more?

“I’d like that.”

SeulGi’s wandering thoughts directed back to JooHyun’s sudden reply. Her thoughts and worry cut short with how the words that just left JooHyun’s lips were now determined and firm.

“You’re right,” JooHyun smiled softly, “We’re already matured enough, we can stay friends. I’d like for us to remain friends, and I’m serious about what I said earlier,” JooHyun’s eyes finally met hers, “I would take all that you could give.”

SeulGi tried to search for any trace of caution or doubt in JooHyun’s words, but she found none.

Because JooHyun added, “I want you to know that I will support you witj all your decisions and… with all your relationships,” She saw the fleeting second how JooHyun visibly flinched with her own words before continuing with her calm form,

“If SooJung makes you happy,” JooHyun managed to smile the words out, “Then I’m happy, too.”

It almost knocked SeulGi off, both with the admission and with JooHyun’s smile. She felt the sudden surge of happiness in her veins with how things turned out for the both of them that it made her embrace JooHyun without even thinking about it.

“Thank you,” SeulGi breathed out a relief as she kept JooHyun close, “Thank you so much, JooHyun. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that from you.”

She felt JooHyun’s moment-hesitance to hug her back, but it seemed JooHyun was quickly able to cover it because SeulGi felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist just as tight.

No one said a word and they just continued to lock each other in an embrace, and SeulGi felt a little light-headed when JooHyun’s familiar scent was all that clouded her senses. Because it was all too familiar, and it was all too memorable, all too… right.

When her thoughts became too much once more, SeulGi quickly opened her eyes and was about to pull away when she felt JooHyun loosen their embrace and was the one to put distance between them first.

And it would have hurt SeulGi in a way if not for that smile JooHyun was sporting on her face – no matter how forced or tight it looked like,

“Take care on your way,” JooHyun slightly squeezed SeulGi’s arm goodbye.

“I will,” SeulGi nodded before opening the car door, she grinned, “I really had a great time.”

JooHyun smiled back before waving a hand, making SeulGi smile just a little bit wider.

---

Having to know JooHyun was now on her side with her relationship with SooJung, SeulGi thought she couldn’t ask for more.

She didn’t know how much she needed JooHyun’s permission to be with SooJung was until she heard them directly come from JooHyun herself.

Maybe it was to rid SeulGi off even some of her guilt for having an affair, or maybe it was the fact that she didn’t have to worry anymore about JooHyun whenever she would be with SooJung, or maybe it was both that made SeulGi thank the heavens.

She popped the most expensive wine they have in the house and gave one glass to SooJung, much to the latter’s surprise.

“Are we celebrating something tonight?” SooJung quirked an eyebrow as question but sipped as she did.

“Yes, we are,” SeulGi smiled widely as she pushed SooJung’s glass to the side to plant a kiss on her partner’s lips instead,

“Everything’s going well.”

---

Maybe everything was going too well and that she felt too happy about her previous visit that SeulGi wasn’t sure how she ended up in front of JooHyun’s doorstep just after a few more days, she wasn’t sure what time it was, or why she was even there in the first place.

It wasn’t planned, she wasn’t about to get her things, heck, as far as her brain would allow her to remember, she was about to go home.

To SooJung, because that was her home now.

SooJung was her home now.

So, why, was she ringing JooHyun’s doorbell now? Why was she waiting for JooHyun to open the door for her? Was she expecting to be welcomed when she was unexpected now?

She heard the locks move, and came JooHyun who had her hair tied up – strands already sticking to her face, and SeulGi wondered why it still looked so damned perfect on her.

“S-SeulGi! What a surprise!” And it was, with the way JooHyun quickly opened the door for her, hands wrangling and eyes darting the house, probably to check if it was clean enough because someone was visiting.

A light sting tore through SeulGi once more when she realized that she was that someone visiting, that she was a visitor now.

And in her former home, to add on that.

A home of a big part of her life.

“Come in, come in!” JooHyun gestured her hand politely, “Do you want anything to eat? Drink? Are you here to take more of your things? I haven’t checked my phone yet so I don’t know if you sent a message, or called.” She frantically looked for her phone as she spoke.

“N-No,” SeulGi shook her head no, faster than she intended, “I, I didn’t call… or leave a message,”

She saw how JooHyun’s brown eyes sparkle in wonder before SeulGi was able to say the truth, “I actually just wanted to drop by.”

A beat.

It took a beat before JooHyun was even able to mutter, “Oh,”

And another second to say, “Oh, help yourself then!” JooHyun motioned inside the house, “Make yourself at home, since, well,” JooHyun smiled, “It’s still technically yours.”

A smile broke out of SeulGi’s face unintentionally as she stepped inside, and her hands decided to tap nervously against her thighs.

Why was she there? What was she to say? Or do?

SeulGi looked at JooHyun and she could see the questions looming inside JooHyun’s eyes, and great, of course it was the time that her tongue decided to be tied to .

JooHyun saved both of them from the silence when she finally asked the questions SeulGi saw above her head, “May I know why you’re here? N-Not like I don’t want you here, Seul! It’s just… so sudden? I thought you said you would call or message first?”

The loud beats of her pounding heart didn’t help with her cause because the way her name rolls out of JooHyun’s tongue always had a certain ring to it when it’s JooHyun who calls her that.

She only snapped back to reality when JooHyun added, yet rather weakly, “Did you… Did you and SooJung fight?”

“No!” She said rather quickly than she wanted, because did JooHyun’s stare waivered? “No, everything is… everything is going well actually.”

The words unexpectedly left a bitter taste in when they were uttered, and SeulG

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lokonaba
#1
Chapter 2: damn love the angst
Luvylynn #2
Chapter 2: Lord! Why I love to hurt myself by reading this angst but then I hate you for being so good at playing with my poor heart and somehow I really look forward for you, Authornim to break my heart again with another masterpiece of yours! Arrghh!! What have you done to me Authornim!
un_bearable
#3
Chapter 2: more stories please 😔
Jensoo4everlove #4
Chapter 2: I am crying 😭😭 ugh why is this so heartbreaking!?
hi_uuji
#5
Chapter 2: I didn't know it would hurt this much 😭😭 And now I understand "the one you love is the one who hurt you most"
infp23
#6
Chapter 1: Ouch. Why am i hurting myself by reading angst. Ugh. Okay. On to the next chapter. See ya more tears 🥲
democratits
#7
Chapter 2: Coming from an angst-lover: this was incredibly painful and I cried a little too much, thank you for writing this!!
Blackcoffee01 #8
Chapter 2: Found this too late. But boy, that was great! Read this while listening to Niki's Oceans and Engines, and it hurts more while reading it 😅 kudos!
mmmstory
#9
Chapter 1: I’m bawling my eyes at the office bc I decided to read this in the middle of my break time 🥲
Oct_13_wen_03 35 streak #10
Chapter 2: I feel a bit regret while reread because it's hurt ^^