TWENTIETH RUN

That light, that light, please illuminate my sins

Where I can’t turn back the red blood is flowing down

Deeper, I feel like dying every day

Please let me be punished

Please forgive me for my sins

Please

“Namjoon a, what should I do? I’m really sick of this. Why everything turned to be like this?”

“Taehyung, what’s happened? Where are you? Taehyung. Kim Taehyung ….” Namjoon jerked up from his bed when he heard the voice came from his phone. He tried to search on his surrounding for the boy who supposed to be there. Where did he go? Did he go home without letting Namjoon knew?

It was in the middle of night when everyone has been sleeping, and so on with Namjoon. He needed one so badly. But his rest was disturbed by a phone call.

Taehyung’s voice was hoarse and trembling. He cried and cried without answering Namjoon’s question.

“I really want things back to be like before.”

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He was running endlessly. Running and kept running. There was nowhere he aimed to. He was only following the same circle. Kept meeting the same dead end. He couldn’t get out from this maze. His surrounding was dark. He deserved no light in his life. He was a sinner. And no matter how hard he cried and screamed for someone to get him out, there was no one there. The only thing that was watching for him was the small figure that was holding toys while staring at him in every corner he ran to. His mistake. His judgment. He was waiting for him to do the same mistake to judge him once again. And he has lost at this fight. Once again, he made the same mistake. He let Jimin died the way his brother died.

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“Taehyung a, follow me. I’ll show you how to draw it.”

There was Taejun who was holding a red crayon on the white paper. Small Taehyung watched the boy drew a line and he tried to draw the same with the other crayon. Occasionally he dragged his line over his brother’s. Taehyung tried to disturb his brother, but the latter one didn’t get annoyed. Instead he got his revenge on Taehyung’s arm. Laughter was everywhere. They were smiling at each other like there was nothing to be worried.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

“Hyung ... Hyung …. I got an award from school. Look at my drawing.”

The small Taehyung was running to his older brother who he had seen standing inside the small alley near their house with one of his friend. They were talking seriously before but Taehyung didn’t aware of it. He just wanted to brag to his brother.

“Whoa Taehyungie, you are amazing.” Instead of his brother, it was the other boy who praised him.

“Who is this person, Hyung?”

Taehyung got a strange feeling when he saw the boy. There was something different with the boy. He hid him self behind his brother. He didn’t like the way that boy interacted with his brother or his sta