EIGHTEENTH RUN​

Fall (everything) Fall (everything) Fall (everything),
scattering apart
Fall (everything) Fall (everything) Fall (everything),
falling

Back to the time in the afternoon, at the first grade classroom, there was Taehyung who was covering his head between his arms and laying it on the table. He has been doing that since the morning. Everyone felt strange with his sudden change that day. It was unusual for them to see Taehyung being that silent. He wasn’t greeting everyone on his way while he entered the class in the morning. He even didn’t talk at all, not even when some classmates asked him if he was sick. He only lay down silently on his seat beside Namjoon.

Namjoon has also tried to talk to Taehyung about last night but the boy didn’t seem responding to his question. Namjoon never expected that Jimin’s incident influence the boy so much for him to be like this. He heard it from Jungkook. Apparently Taehyung thought it was his fault that Jimin backed out from the group. It was because of his idea that caused Jimin had to meet his old fear.

And … Jimin didn’t attend school again. He has stopped coming to school for three days straight. Namjoon supposed that gave more impact to Taehyung.

“Get up!” Namjoon couldn’t let thing going on like this anymore. He knew that he should do something.

Taehyung lifelessly tilted his head up. Namjoon grabbed the boy’s arm.

“Get up! Let’s do something about this.”

“I’m fine. I don’t need to go home.” Taehyung shrugged Namjoon off and about to lay his head back, but Namjoon was persistent.

“I’m not talking about you to go home, let’s do something about Jimin.”

“Just let him alone. I don’t want to care about anything more.”

“No, you care about him. He is our friend and he has been absent for three days. I know it bothered you. So let’s find him at his house and talk.”

“I said I don’t want to do anything! Which part you doesn’t understand?” Taehyung got up and kicked the table. It caused a loud noise.

Everyone in the class startled by him. They were now staring at Namjoon and Taehyung but none of both student care about the crowd.

“You don’t know how much I capable on hurting anyone. I hurt everyone that I care.” Taehyung’s eyes started to moist with tears. “I should stop involving my self with anyone. That way I won’t cause any harm to anyone.”

“Everyone is going to be hurt in some way.” Namjoon stared hard into Taehyung’s eyes. He gave a space of silence before he said more things. “But, it’s their choice to choose whether they let it effect them or not. If Jimin let those past of his has some effect on him, that wasn’t your fault.”

“It was easy for you to say that! You have no attachment to people around you. You don’t care about people other than your self.”

“Who said that I have no attachment to people? What do you know about my life?”

The image of Rahoon and his mother flashed into his mind. Namjoon wasn’t an ignorant or heartless person. He knew the pain. He felt hurt too. He was unaffected all the time. Sometimes Namjoon ever really, really hate him self. He hated the way he couldn’t do anything about the world. He hated the contradiction that existed in the world. Life was such a contradiction. When we saw things from one side only, you could be wrong to the other side.

“We can never save everyone despite our wish not to let anyone suffer alone.” Namjoon gripped his fist tight on the way of holding back his feeling that started surged. He decided to cast away his bad thought and once again held on Taehyung’s arm. “But we could at least try our best while on it. So now shut up and follow me to Jimin’s house! We should ask a permission to go home earlier. Your pale face can be the excuse.”

This time Namjoon dragged Taehyung with more force. He didn’t let the boy escaped. While on the way of walking to teacher’s room, he passed on Yoongi who was happened to stand in front of the first grade student classroom. But he didn’t stop to talk to the older boy or even asked him to join them to Jimin’s house.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

It has been his umpteenth day on searching. He even took time from attending school today just because someone told him they saw his father outside Seoul. But it turned out that the information wasn’t true. His father was nowhere to be found.

Hoseok sighed once again while walking on the bridge alongside. Where should he find his father? And why again this chaos started?

Right, it was the day of short getaway. If only … if only he didn’t come along the vacation. If only he wasn’t being selfish wanting to have some time alone without his family matter. If only he didn’t ignore his sister’s call for him coming home sooner. Probably he could stop his father from running away from the house. Probably he could save his grandmother from the shock.

Hoseok’s sight started to get blur from tears. Regret washed over him.  The feeling built up high inside his chest. It chocked him on the throat. He had a hard