The woman entered the hospital building with a quick pace. She promised her friends she will be there soon but because of the ridiculous situation she was in yesterday, she was overslept. How predictable of her. She brought snack for her friends and pretty flowers for the patient. Sighed, she inhaled the scent of pretty flower in her hands. She really wished the patient will get better soon. Hospital really isn’t his thing.

She marched to the long corridor she’s already familiar. She was here yesterday, spent lot of her time to visit him and ended up engrossed in lovely conversation with his mother. The elder lady was amazing, just like her and every one of her friends belief. She was easygoing and humorist. She smiled a lot and full of love. Talking to her made the younger feel comfortable, as if she was talking with her own mother.

She turned into the hallway and she could already see his room. She smiled and bowed to nurse and doctor she saw on the way. The staff greeted her back. She was getting closer to the door, just in a few steps then she will arrive. Suddenly she realized there was too much ruckus. It seemed out of place, since they were in the hospital. She noticed that the majority of the ruckus was inside the room she was ready to enter. She looked at her surrounding, tried to make sense about what happened. Some people in the same hallway stared at the door just like her, wondering what’s exactly going on.

It sounded that the people inside were arguing. She could hear more than one voice spoke in a loud voice and high tone. They sounded almost frantic and she also heard another sound that she can’t understand. The door then suddenly opened, revealed Gary. Gary was about to run, to God know where, when he stared right into Jihyo.

“What a good timing,” Gary said, his expression tensed. “Come on, you need to get inside.”

“What happened? Why are you guys arguing?” She asked dumbfounded but followed Gary’s lead nonetheless.

“Jongkook hyung.” Gary didn’t reveal more than that but those words was enough to make Jihyo rushed inside.

Inside was chaos. Jongkook was being held by Jaesuk and Kwangsoo whilst Sukjin supported Mrs. Kim who cried. Haha stood between the two groups, as if he was blocking Jongkook from the door. Jongkook was half sit, half got up, almost dragged the two men with him.

Jihyo tossed aside her belonging without care and came to aid Jongkook. “Oppa, what’s wrong?” she asked, terrified.

Her voice snapped Jongkook from his trance. He stopped fighting those who held him altogether and sat there motionless. His eyes though, searched to Jihyo from head to toe, and examined her. Breath caught on his throat. All the adrenaline and fear evaporated from his system, left him weak and opened.

He raised his hand and Jihyo without being asked held him with her own hand. That’s when Jongkook finally belief that she was really right in front of him, safe and sound.

Next to them, both Jaesuk and Kwangsoo panted, while Haha finally relaxed. “I told you-” Jaesuk scowled, breathless. “She was coming.”

When Jihyo was sure Jongkook won’t go berserk, she diverted her attention to others. “What’s going on?”

“That’s exactly what we want to know,” Haha voiced. It’s rare to see him this serious. “What’s exactly going on?”

Jihyo was about to deny it. Haha asked as if Jihyo knows something while in fact she wasn’t. However, she got cut off by Jongkook.

“What’s that?” Jongkook said, flat tone and awfully calm that earned everyone’s attention.

“What’s what?” Kwangsoo clarified, confused just like the others.

The triple-crown singer slightly tugged at Jihyo’s hand that was on his own and examined the gauze she had wrapped around her wrist.  “How did you get this?”

She blinked, didn’t understand why Jongkook instead paid attention to small matter despite the ruckus he just made. Nevertheless, it drew everyone’s attention toward her gauzed wrist. “I didn’t see-“She trailed but Jongkook’s gaze on her stopped whatever complained she had.

“I was kind of fell off stairs.”

Something crossed Jongkook’s eyes, too fast to decipher. “How can you be so clumsy?” Sukjin commented. Even Mrs. Kim stopped crying and drew closer to inspect the actress inflamed wrist.

“I’m not. Someone bumped into me and I lost my balance,” Jihyo explained.

“Someone pushed you?” Jongkook clarified, eyes glow dangerously by the thought. His question earned gasped from his mother. The others looked almost disbelief but Haha stared at both Jihyo and Jongkook with speculating eyes.

“What do you mean push?” Gary asked, at lost.

“It’s not. That-“ again, Jihyo stopped in mid-sentence. Now that Jongkook said the right word, everything made sense. The hard push she felt on her back, it’s not unintentional. Someone pushed her to fall down on stairs. When she looked up, the person disappeared.

“Someone actually pushed you?” Jaesuk and Sukjin repeated, started to worry.

Jihyo didn’t answer. She looked straight at Jongkook. Behind her, Haha voiced her question. “Hyung, why do you think someone push Jihyo?” the question how did you know hang in the air.

“I just did,” the singer denied when all pair of eyes turned to watch him. “It’s not important,” he stated to stop their staring on him.

Jongkook gripped his blanket tight and clenched his jaw. “Moreover, you should stay away from me.”

***

You should stay away for me.

Jihyo can’t decipher the meaning of that sentence, let alone figured out why the sentence threw out at her. Others reaction, although somehow dramatic, was not important to her. It came out blur in her vision. She didn’t see Kwangsoo gape his mouth, nor did she see both Jaesuk and Haha that shared a look. She also failed to see Gary and Sukjin’s disbelief expression. None of it was important.

The important part is her heart.

She felt cold, as if warm left her body. Actually, she felt a lot of emotion at the same time, juggled from one to another so fast that she can’t comprehend. She drew into the mess of her emotions. The strongest emotion she felt was devastated. She was hurt and she was angry. She didn’t know she’s capable to feel the negative affection intensely just by mere sentence, sentence that casually left his lips. Her body felt numb, only the painful throb on her heart that matter. 

“Hyung, I think you don’t really mean what you said,” Gary awkwardly said. “It sounded…”

None of them can express what’s going on. Even Mrs. Kim stared at her son, sad and disappointment painted in her eyes. She lightly shook her head and Jongkook could see it from the corner of his eyes, but he ignored it.

“Jongkook,” Jaesuk called him gently. “I don’t think you’re saying it right.”

“I know what I said and I mean it that way.”

The actress closed her eyes and forced herself to inhale. Those words stuck to her chest and choked her. She felt familiar sting on her eyes, tears threatened to fall, but she it up. She won’t cry like this. Beneath her closed eyes, Jihyo could feel stares the other showered her. Another wave of emotions rushed in her.

She was angry. What did she do wrong? What did she do to receive this treatment? She never hurt Jongkook’s feeling, why did he hurt her? She didn’t deserve this. She was confused. Yesterday they were alright. Why now is different? What exactly happened?

She was hurt. She was sad. She was in the verge of crying. She was ashamed. She didn’t know what to do.

“Jongkook-“ Sukjin started, but stopped immediately when Jihyo let out a small, flat-tone voice.

“How should I respond to that?”

The voice she let out was a little bit shaky, unconfident, defeated. Those were really not her characteristic at all. She was out of her zone. Jihyo’s voice was weak and vulnerable that made Jongkook raised his head to meet with her eyes.

Those eyes, the warm lively round eyes Jongkook used to love were different today. It’s dead, clouded with anguish. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears. Her face scrunched to keep her feeling inside. Jongkook felt like kicking himself to be responsible for the torment he bought her. He hurt one that matter the most for him. Great, just great, could the day go any better?

Their eyes locked together. Jihyo, even though she was hurt every moment that passed, still can’t bring herself to look away. In odd way, she found something comfortable within the singer’s eyes on her. His eyes soothed her, in the middle of pain that rushed inside her. It’s funny how he could trigger two opposite reactions within Jihyo.

“What do you want me to do?” she asked once again.

They stared at each other again, never broke eye contact. Somehow, Mrs. Kim abled to lead the others to go outside, left only the two to solve their problem. Even though the others were dying to know what happened between the two, they all agreed to go out. The two needed their time to finish what they started. Jaesuk threw once last worried glance over the two before being the last one to go outside the room and closed the door behind him.

The two didn’t react to the new situation. They were too caught up in their own little bubble that they didn’t even realize the others left.

“You know, I don’t get it, Oppa,” she said, tired.

Jihyo looked around, for once broke the eye contact. She found a chair next to bed and dragged the chair closer. Jihyo almost threw herself at the chair, legs giving up. Then, she looked straight to another pair of eyes, watching, reading, and figuring.

She huffed and rephrased. “In fact, I don’t get it at all.”

Jongkook found himself lost, drawn into her voice, her scent, and her unshed tears. All of the elements kicked him hard. He felt dizzy. His brain kept telling him to push her away, for it’s the only way to guarantee her safety. The fact that the psycho went as far as hurt her made his blood boils. He never felt rage like this. He had a strong urge to hurt someone, anyone that inflicted pain on her. Yet, on his way to keep her safe, he hurt her more than the psycho able to do.

I’m going insane, Jongkook mentally whispered to himself. One thing he didn’t aware was Jihyo mentally said the same to herself.

“Just yesterday everything was alright. You act like it’s a one fine day. Nothing was wrong, nothing need to be worried. Then just several times ago you almost flipped the world upside down to look for me. And now you tell me I should stay away. You see the strange part here?” Jihyo ranted, lifted her head up to deny tears that started to form.

“You know, it happened for months already,” she continued, voice slightly cracked. “You cherish me, you ignore me. You smile at me, you look at me coldly. You hold my hand, you walk off me. You laugh with me, you give me silent treatment. You support me, you give me cold shoulder. You come close to me, you ask me to go away. More than once I ask you what happened but you always said it’s nothing. You said everything was alright. What was alright? What is alright?”

The actress snorted and frowned. Anger was pent up inside her and she was fed up. She had to let it out. “What are you trying to do, huh? What makes you think you have the right to do this to me? Am I ever hurt you? Just tell me what to do, what do you want me to do? Tell me!” Her voice rose up, fueled by her anger.

Jongkook kept silent. He knew Jihyo was mad and he deserved it. He let her vented her anger. Instead of answer, he watched how her breath became irregular and how her cheeks reddened. After several times of taking a deep breath, Jihyo calmed down. Anger left her tired body, left her with deeper and darker emotions.

“Why did you keep push and pull me away at the same time?” She asked, broken. “How am I supposed to deal with that?”

With the last sentence, tear escaped her eyes, fell straight through her cheek. Jihyo immediately raised her hand to wipe away her tear. She hated to be scared, to be uncertain, in front of the one that supposed to bring her comfort. But the pain inside her became unbearable. She was tired of being treated like this over months.

The singer now lost for word. Watched the tear fell crushed his heart, worse, the fact that he was the source of the tear killed him. Jongkook wanted to kneel on her feet and immediately asking for forgiveness. He just made the woman he loves more than himself break down. The strongest woman Jongkook ever known was fought so hard not to show her tears.

Those tears of her broken heart…

Jongkook shut all his rational, ignored the warning his mind gave him. Almost uncertain, his hand took hers. Jihyo didn’t react, still fought her tears. Jongkook could feel her cold and shaky hand and it burned him just like hot iron shoved to his throat. The singer tugged her closer. Jihyo followed, eyes uncertain as his.

Ignored every sense and let his desire kicked in, Jongkook closed his eyes. His own tear escaped his eye. He could hear Jihyo’s soft hitch when she saw his tear but he ignored that too. Jongkook then surrendered to his need.

He pressed his lips tenderly on Jihyo’s forehead. 

(LadyDeb)