The meaning of death

Violet Love Sonata
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Ji Yong POV

“And she just left?” Young Bae asked.

“Yep, just like that. She said something though… that’s how she takes care of herself when she’s with someone.” I said while leaning on the couch and closing my eyes.

“Maybe she’s celibate…. Or even a maiden.” He said. I looked at him; he was being serious. What you need to know about Taeyang is that he’s really nice… like really… very… truly nice. The only real good person I’ve known in all my life. 

I smirked. “Yeah right! A woman who looks like she does… a maiden… She has strong views but, I would say that she’s celibate; but not a maiden.”

“Well, you don’t know that for sure. I certainly wouldn’t rule that out… It’s difficult but not impossible.” He said. He was in his kitchen preparing a salad. I’ve come to his apartment since we haven’t seen each other since Big Bang’s world tour ended. My solo world tour is starting next week and I’ve been working really hard for it.

“Have you spoken with her after what happened?”

“Uhh! I sent her a text the next day. She acted like if nothing happened. We’ve seen each other two times after that; she doesn’t mention it, is like she erased it from her memory. We still text each other everyday, we still facetime when we can. We’re still friends but, that’s it.” I stood up and walked towards the kitchen's isle where he was.

“What if she’s not into Koreans? She’s a westerner, maybe she just like to date westerners.”

“Nah! She was into the kiss, I’m sure of it! She responded to it, things were getting pretty hot… and then… not!”

He looked at me. “I don’t know Ji Yongie… it’s weird. I don’t know about any woman who has resisted to your charms… or maybe you haven’t told me about it.” He laughed and continued with the salad.

I smirked. “The way things are going, it seems like she’ll be the first.”

“When are you going to see her again?”

“I don’t know, she’s been in London the whole week. She got here today at dawn.”  

The doorbell rang and seconds later someone opened the door. It was Min Hyo Rin, Taeyang’s girlfriend.

“Oh! you’re here noona!” I said.

She was taking her shoes off. “Oh! Ji Yongie! Have you been doing well?” She asked.

“Uhh! I was just leaving.” I answered. I shook Young Bae’s hand and then walked towards the entrance.

“You should stay and have lunch with us.” Hyo Rin said and smiled.

“I can’t noona, I have to practice. Let’s meet other day.” I replied while putting my shoes on. I shook my hand to say goodbye and then exited the apartment.

As I was walking to the elevators, my conversation with Young Bae kept playing in my head.  I sighed. “Yep, maybe that’s it… we’re just to be friends.”



Emi Haro POV

It’s 10:00 AM and I just woke up. I arrived in Seoul at 3:00 AM.  I wish I could stay in bed but, I need to review and authorize the dramas that we’re buying next month. I was laying down on my stomach, a pillow under my head.

I was thinking of him, of his touch, of his lips, of his kiss. It’s all I think about these days. I sometimes wonder what would’ve happen if hadn’t ran away. I started kicking and punching my bed. “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! You’re probably the only one who has run away from him!” I screamed.

I sighed and sat on the bed. We’re still friends. We still talk. He didn’t bring “that” up, and obviously I didn’t bring it up either. We’re fine like this. Our friendship is going well. Do I love him? I think no. Do I desire him? Absolutely yes!

I stood up and took a shower. As I walked into my walking closet I saw the “drawer”. It’s a place where I keep lingerie. Yes! I may be a but sometimes I like to wear lingerie. It makes me feel y and to be honest you don’t have to be in a relationship for you to wear it. I wear it for myself, because it makes me feel good.

I pulled out a black lace & mesh teddy. I put it on and then walked to the mirror. “Wah!! My s look gigantic!!” I exclaimed and laughed. Suddenly I heard a voice in my head: “Are you wearing this for you or for him?” I stopped. “For me! I won’t see him today; he’s practicing very hard for his solo world tour. For me and for no one else.” Although I’m wearing lingerie, I’m also wearing my white shirt, jeans, and loafers. I put my sunglasses on, grabbed my Prada bag and headed to the office.


As I arrived to the office, I noticed Ari wasn’t there. She sent me a text this morning, saying she would come at noon today. Ari’s secretary was standing at the front door to greet me. “It’s not the same.” I thought.

I headed directly to the meeting room. My meeting was at 11:30 AM and it was 11:26 AM.


“Finally! We’re finished!” I exclaimed with my hands raised up while spinning on the chair. I was alone in the meeting room. Time: 3:06 PM.

“Hasn't Ari arrived?” I thought. “She didn’t enter the meeting. Maybe she’s not here yet.” I kept thinking.


As I was walking inside my office I saw Ari facing a window wall.

“Yah! You’re chilling in my office while I’m working hard in the meeting room!” I exclaimed while laughing.

She didn’t say anything. I walked towards her with a smile on my face. Then I saw her; she was bawling her eyes out.

“Ari, what happened? What is it?” I asked as I grabbed her shoulders. I helped her sit on the sofa.

She started crying out loud. I embraced her and started patting her back. After a while she said: “I’m so sorry Sajangnim.”

 “What is it?” I asked, concerned.

“She died.”


“My best friend… She died yesterday.” She started crying again.

I sighed. “I know it’s hard to lose someone so important… believe me I know.”

“She’s stupid.” Ari said. “She focus on studying for the Civil Service exam for one year. She didn’t go to parties, she broke up with his boyfriend because he was “too time consuming”, she barely slept, she barely ate…. And now she’s dead. Why? Because she took yesterday the exam and as she was heading home she was too tired to look both ways of the street.”

“Don’t say that, you’re saying it because you’re upset, but she’s not stupid, she was determined.”

“Determined?” Ari laughed sarcastically and stood up. “Determination is when you know your goals and you reach them, and you set new goals; but during that period you don’t stop living, you don’t stop loving, you don’t stop enjoying life. She’s dead now. She’ll probably pass the civil service exam but, she’s dead now. She worked so hard, everyday for nothing… why? Because she forgot that we’re here for a limit amount of time; and we have to be responsible, but we also have to enjoy every moment of our life.” She concluded.

I looked at her with fear. It hit me… hard. Like a truck would hit a concrete wall. 

“I’m sorry Sajangnim! I’m being disrespectful to you and you don’t deserve this.” Ari bowed.

“Go home Ari, You need to rest.” I said and hugged her.

After Ari left the office, I started to wonder what I’ve been doing with my life. I barely see Diego. We text a lot but it’s not the same; we’re so far apart that I sometimes miss him to death. I work all day everyday. I travel a lot to offices but not to cities. I know people but I don’t have friends. I broke up with my ex-boyfriend because he was too “self-centered”. I don’t date because I don’t have the time.  I’m emotionally unavailable because loosing my parents was the most painful thing I’ve experienced so far, and I don’t want to experience something like that again. I ran away from Ji Yong because I’m afraid to be with him.


I’ve been here in my office sitting on my chair till now, 12:00 AM. I’ve been thinking of every aspect of my life, of everything I’ve won, and everything I had to sacrifice to win. I looked for my phone and texted Ji Yong.

“Where are you?”

“Still in YGE. But I’m almost going home.  Why?”

“Do you want to walk with me in the jogging park?”

“At this hour?”

“Uhh! I need to see you.”

“Alright! I’ll text you when I get there.


I arrived at my apartment. Took a shower, shaved, put another black lace & mesh teddy and wore a beige polka dot Prada dress. The dress is sleeveless, has a low cleavage with a pleaded and above the knee skirt. It’s not y; I would say is a romantic casual dress.


1:48 AM. Ji Yong texted.

“I’m at the jogging park. See you here.”


I walked to the jogging park. Ji Yong was there, looking at me with his amazing smile. We started walking through the jogging path. My hands were crossed behind my back. I was looking down.

“You look beautiful.” He said while looking at the sky.

I didn’t answer.

“You also look sad. What is it?” He asked.

I looked at him with my brightest smile. “I wanted to see you. I've missed you.”

He looked away. “Kure, I’ve missed you too.” He said.

We walked, talked, and laughed for a while. Suddenly raindrops started to fall.

“We should leave!” Ji Yong exclaimed while trying to hold my hand. I didn’t let him.

I ran some steps away from him and started whirling with my arms extended, my face towards the sky, my eyes closed.

“Dance with me.” I asked.

He walked towards me; he placed his right hand on my waist and grabbed my hand with the other. We started waltzing.

I started singing in English. 

Some day, when I'm awfully low

When the world is cold

I will feel a glow just thinking of you

And the way you look tonight


It started to rain, but Ji Yong continued.

Yes, you're lovely, with your smile so warm

And your cheeks so soft

There is nothing for me but to love you

And the way you look tonight


As he was finishing the last phrase, I stopped dancing. I looked at him. I intertwined my arms around his neck and stood on my tiptoes, since I was wearing ballerinas and his face was far away from mine.

I kissed him, not softly, not gently, but passionately.

“I want you.” I whispered.

He looked at me dumbfounded.

We kissed again.

“I want to be with you.” I said again. 

He smiled ily. We kissed one more time.

The rain was starting to get more violent, he grabbed my hand and we ran.


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Comments (194)

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icxxha #1
Chapter 70: Am done ????????????????
Chapter 72: i am happy i found this fanfic! such great twists. love the ups and downs of the plot. ?????? gonna read the fixer next~
hwaseo #3
Really appreciate all your hardwork
Thank you and you definitely deserve an upvote :)
Haeerin #4
glad i found this amazing story!
Chapter 70: YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK OMG btw i really love your writing ( i read this story in just one day lol) and i wanted to know when are you updating the fixer? xoxox
Chapter 68: no please noo
Chapter 55: omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomogmog
Chapter 44: this is so heart breaking...