I arrived at the 87MM party. What Ji Yong said today has been on my mind all day long. “What if he didn’t ask for a divorce? What if he’s telling the truth? What if…” I saw them. He caressed her cheek and whirled around with her while laughing. I wanted to stop looking at them, mainly because my heart was crumbling inside. He may not have asked for a divorce but it’s clear that he's in relationship with her. It’s sickening to think that he’s with her but he’s trying to get me on his bed. He looked at me and his smile vanished, I saw him coming my way. I walked far away from him.
I was with Nickhun and Taecyeon. I’ve met them before so I felt fine around them, I also know Ji Yong doesn’t speak with them, so he won’t try to get near me if they’re by my side. My phone started ringing. Ji Yong was calling. I didn’t answer and placed it inside my purse.
Min Hyorin unnie arrived.
“How are you guys?” He asked Nickhun and Taecyeon.
“Emi! I’m so glad to see you!” She said and hugged me.
“It’s nice seeing you, Unnie.” I smiled.
Young Bae got close. He Placed his arm around Min Hyorin’s waist and whispered something to her.
“How are you Emi?” Young Bae asked and smiled.
“I’m fine… you?”
He got close to me this time. “Ji Yong wants to speak with you.” He whispered. I shook my head.
“Please don’t get involved in this.” I warned him. I stared to where he was, Nana was still by his side. “Maybe I’m closed-minded but if I was her, I wouldn’t let my boyfriend to do what he’s doing.”
I interrupted him: “Please, if it’s anything regarding him, I don’t want to know.”
He sighed. “Okay.”
“Emiliassi?” It was Park Bo Gum.
“Hi! It’s nice seeing you again.” I greeted him and tapped his arm.
I stayed speaking with Bo Gum and Nickhun for a long time. Taecyeon eventually moved on to greet other people.
No matter how much I tried not to look in his direction, I couldn’t. He was still here with her, which was driving me crazy. I started drinking. Yes, I know! Not the best idea in the world, but I didn’t want to leave and I couldn’t stand seeing them together.
Nickhun got on top of the small stage, been a small party, there was a karaoke machine. He sung Kim Bum Soo’s “Last love”
♫Even if I try so hard to smile
I’ll probably cry even when I eat
You, only you
My first love, my last love
One thing that cannot be changed from now on
You are my love, forever...♫
“Yep! After this song, I’m getting totally wasted.” I thought as I drank the cocktail in one sip.
I looked again towards him. She leaned and whispered something to him, she locked eyes with me and smirked.
I remembered the question she asked when I met her in Japan: “So, you don’t mind if I’m involved with the man that was yours?”
I wish I could shout to her right now, that I do mind. That he’s mine and that I want to be with him for the rest of my life.
“Noona?” SeungRi greeted me.
“Seungrissi!” I hugged him, tightly.
I stared again towards Ji Yong; SeungRi followed my gaze. “You’re jealous, noona.” He whispered.
I shook my head. “No, of course not.”
“I’m not asking, I’m telling you… If you’re this jealous why don’t you speak with Ji Yong hyung?”
I stared blankly at the wall, I could feel the tears accumulating. “It’s useless.” I said and sipped the cocktail.
“I think you should stop drinking.” He said trying to take away the cocktail. I raised it.
“Yah! You’re being rude.” I said a little bit annoyed. “Bo Gumssi! Please sing the moonlight drawn by clouds soundtrack!” I exclaimed cutely. I think I don’t have aegyo but right now, I wanted to hear him sing and the only way of getting that was acting cute.
He smiled seductively and whispered: “If I sing it will you go home with me?” I was shocked by his proposal. I giggled, nervously. “Maybe if I spend the night with someone I won’t feel like a useless object.” I nodded.
“Deal!” He laughed and walked towards the stage.
♫Do you know my heart?
My tears are telling you
For all my life
For the rest of my life
You are my everything
You are my person
I erased as much as my heart ached
But I can’t erase this love
Even if the world freezes
This love won’t stop
Instead, I’ll hurt some more…♫
As Bo Gum was singing, I kept thinking about my story with Ji Yong. “What would have been of my life have we not coincided? Would I be married? Would I have experienced all these pain with someone else?” I smiled. “Maybe because it was Ji Yong I didn’t care about the pain, maybe because I was able to share all this moments with the love of my life it’s why I wouldn’t do anything differently.” I could feel the tears again trying to get out. “I should be grateful for I was able to love greatly and deeply. I should see all what we’ve been through and be happy for I’ll never live or feel anything like this again in my whole life. I love him, there’s no doubt about it, but sometime love is not enough. Perhaps this is not our time, perhaps in another life we’ll be able to have the fate we didn’t have during this life. Maybe fate… fate…”
I stared at him once again, Nana was nowhere to be seen, he was walking to where I was. Bo gum was finishing his song, I don’t know when, but before I noticed, I was on top of the stage, everyone was surprised. Bo Gum handed me the karaoke control remote. I looked for the song, it started playing, I grabbed the microphone and cleared my throat, I heard some dispersed laughs. “Blessed alcohol!” I thought. Ji Yong was worriedly staring at me, I closed my eyes and started singing:
♫Promise me that when this moment's over and we meet again
That we can put everything in the past and stand by each other
This is what we call fate, it's something we can't deny
Will I ever experience another day as glorious as today?
You're a gift upon this exhausting path of life...
...Our meeting was short like a drunken affair, but it was real
Even though this cannot last, I won't resent it because nothing is forever...
...There's so much I want to say, but you probably already know...
...The love we couldn't have in this life
The fate we couldn't live in this life
When we meet again sometime in the future
Please don't let go of me♫
As the song ended, I opened my eyes, everyone was staring at me with a bewildered expression on their faces. Suddenly, everyone started clapping and whistling. “You should be a singer! That was amazing!” I heard people screaming. I was stunned of their reactions. I handed the microphone to someone and got off the stage.
“Emi?” Ji Yong was following me. “What was that about?” I could feel my tears again trying to come out. “Emi?” We exited the ballroom, he grabbed my arm and made me looked at him.
“It’s my way of saying goodbye.” I faltered.
He opened his eyes, widely. “Why do you keep doing this?” He whispered, it appeared as if he wasn’t strong enough to say it out loud.
“We’ve hurt each other too much; I think it’s time for us to know we can’t be together.”
“No one said it would be easy.” His eyes started to get watery.
“No one said it would be this hard.” I whispered. “I’m sorry.” I said and walked away.
“You’re a coward!” He shouted.
I froze. “What?”
“What you heard!” I was speechless.
“You’ve been saying I’m the coward, but it’s clear that you are! Yes, we’ve hurt each other, yes we’ve experienced a lot of things together, but this should be the reason for us to remain together. If love would be easy, then it wouldn’t be the greatest feeling and pleasure of all. I love you… I still love you like the first time, I’m in a point in my life where I’ve made truce with everything and the only thing I need to keep living is you. You’re my all and everything and I don’t want to live without you. I love you and I’ll respect your decision if this is what you truly want. I promise I won’t go looking for you, I promise I’ll let you go.”
I could feel my heart wanting to run out of my chest, my brain was trying to figure out my emotions. Heartbreak, forgiveness, emptiness, joy, hate, passion, sacrifice, and love were trying to win the spotlight in my mind and in my heart.
Ji Yong was staring at me, waiting for my answer, I was just standing there, emotionless. He looked down. “Be well.” He said and walked away.
I swallowed hard. “Where is he going?” I shouted inside silently.
Seeing him walking away from me, made everything clear, it was like all the needless feelings vanished and just one stood tall in my brain and in my heart. “Ji Yong!” I shouted. He looked at me. I ran towards him, he looked at me surprised. As I reached him, my body clashed with his in a full, amazing, and great embrace. “I love you.” I said. “You’re the love of my life and I don’t know how to live without you… I love you.” I pulled back my head so I could see his face. We smiled to each other, we connected like four years ago, when we started dating. We kissed in the middle of a crowded hallway of the place that has seeing our love flourish, wither, and resurface from the ashes.
Ji Yong and I stopped kissing and looked around us, strangers were looking at us. My smile erased; I was shocked. “We should leave, they’re probably taking pictures of us.” I whispered.
He was still smiling, joyfully. “I don’t care. You’re my wife, you’re my soulmate, you’re my all. Let all the world know that I love you!” He exclaimed and kissed me again.
We arrived at his apartment. “Here.” He said and handed me some papers.
“What’s this?” I asked.
“Look at them.” He said and headed to the kitchen. I stared at them. “The annulment papers? You didn’t submit them?” I asked.
“I didn’t ask for it and the person who did, gave them to me today.”
“Who sent it then?”
“Nana.” He sighed.
“Hah! Happiness was short.” I thought. For us to have the slimmest chance of being together, it’s obvious we need to have a heart to heart.
We locked eyes. “I know what you’re wondering. We’re not together.” He said.
“For this to work, you have to trust me. We need to trust each other.” He sat next to me and handed me a glass of wine.
We spoke until dawn, we cleared every and each one of our misunderstandings. After hearing, everything we needed to tell each other, it’s obvious that fate it’s the reason we separated but it’s also the reason why we’re together now. I just hope it stops messing with our life now.
The next morning, I woke up in his arms. I smiled heartily after seeing him sleeping next to me. I kissed his forehead, his cheek, his lips. “Good morning bae!” I whispered. He smiled. “The sweetest morning!” He started tickling me. I laughed loudly. “Stop! Stop!” I exclaimed.
“What do you want to eat?” I asked and grabbed my phone.
“You!” He said and got on top of me.
I was staring at my phone. “They got us!” I exclaimed.
“What?” He asked.
I handed it to him, so he could read the headline: “G-Dragon and Emilia Haro dating again?”
There were pictures of us getting out of Ji Yong’s car inside the Galleria Foret's parking lot. He was serious.
“What should we do?” I asked, mortified.
“Probably sue them. I highly doubt they owned an apartment here. They probably bribed someone to get in.” Ji Yong stood up, he leaned towards me. “Don’t worry, everything will be okay, araso?” He smiled. I nodded. We kissed and he got inside the bathroom.
I wore his shirt and headed to the kitchen. As I was making breakfast, the doorbell rang.
“Emi, can you get that?” He shouted from inside the room.
I walked to the front door and opened it. “Ji, I brought you...” Nana was standing outside.