Ji Yong POV
I noticed when Emi opened the door, I felt when she laid down, but I didn’t move… I haven't been myself since the party. I’ve been trying to remember what happened that night, but no matter how much I try, I just can’t remember.
I’ve been very sensitive towards Emi lately. We’ve been arguing, she wants to know what’s wrong with me, and I obviously don’t want to talk about it.
She behaves so nice around me, around my moody-self, that it makes me feel worst. If I could just remember what happened that night, I’d be free.
I woke up the next morning, feeling quite positive. I looked through my phone to see if any scandals have been published…. But No.
“It’s been some days since the party, if the press had something about that day, it would’ve been released by now.” I smiled.
I saw Emi lying next to me, I started kissing her. I knew I needed to apologize to her in some way.
After Emi left, I got ready to start my day. Today we’re starting practicing “Good Boy's” choreography, and no matter what happens, I’m telling Hyun Suk about Emi and I.
I was enjoying learning the choreography, playing around with Young Bae, laughing of our mistakes. I was feeling like myself. I was feeling alive again.
Young Bae and I were taking a break in the terrace after dancing for hours. We were laughing out loud when suddenly we saw some people coming from inside.
It was the Communications Director with a girl; I didn’t see her face.
“Oh! Our biggest stars are here.” He said while heading towards us.
The girl was walking behind him.
“Miss Lee BoNassi… These are G-Dragon and Taeyang.”
I felt jitters running through my body. I was so shocked that I quickly stood up.
“Mr. G-Dragonssi, Mr. Taeyangssi, it's such a pleasure to meet you.” She softly said and bowed.
Young Bae and I bowed back.
“What’s this? Why is she here? At least she’s acting like she doesn’t know me.” I thought.
“To what do we owe the honor of Miss BoNassi presence in YGE?” Young Bae asked the Director.
I told him what’s happened and he could see that I was shaken by her visit.
“We’re considering of doing some type of business between YGE and Samsung Group.” He said.
BoNa was shyly smiling and looking down. She looked like the same girl of that night, soft spoken and demure, she seems like a nice girl.
“Oh! The best of luck.” Young Bae said.
He looked at me. “Ji Yongie we should continue with our practice.” He then said to the Director and Bona: “Please excuse us.” He placed his hands on my shoulders and pushed me towards the door. We both bowed and walked to the dance studio.
As we entered the hallway, I sighed deeply. Young Bae patted my shoulder.
“Don’t Worry Ji Yongie, she seems nice, she probably made you a favor by taking you into that room.” He said. I looked at him and nodded.
“Maybe Young Bae is right. She doesn’t look like a bad person; no scandals have been released, she acted like she didn’t know me… Everything will be al right.” I thought and smiled.
Hours later while we were still dancing, someone opened the door.
“GD, Yang Sajangnim wans to see you right now.” He said.
I walked to Hyun Suk’s office. I opened the door. “What is it hyung?” As I was closing it he exclaimed: “Tell me this is not true!”
I flinched. “Lee BoNa must’ve told him what happened.” I thought. I looked at him surprised. “Hyung, let me explain, I don’t know what…” He interrupted me. “Since when you’ve been dating her?” He asked.
I was dumbfounded. “What are you talking about?” I replied while walking towards his desk.
“I heard a rumor some days ago. Today a paparazzi brought this and is requesting for money.” He said while sliding a picture to me. I picked it up and saw it; it was a photo of Emi and I taken during one of our dates. I felt relieved that this is what he wanted to talk about. I nodded. “Yes, I’ve been dating Emila Haro for more than a year now.” I said. He looked at me astonished. “I was actually going to tell you about this today. I want to make an official statement about our relationship.”
He laughed, sarcastically. “You’re kidding right?”
I frowned. “Do I joke about my private life?”
“This must be a joke or a ing nightmare.” He said. He crossed his arms and started walking back and forth.
I was about to get angry, but I knew this could end badly. “Hyung, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but Emi and I are very private of our lives. We wanted to be sure that this was the right choice for us, we’ve actually…”
“You can’t and you won’t make this public!” He shouted while banging the desk with his fists. I was so shocked of his reaction that I actually jumped on the seat. He has never reacted like this before, he never shouts to me… never. He was still looking down with his fists on the desk, he took a deep breath and stood up straight. “Ji Yong, I’ve been patient with you, I’ve cleaned each and every one of your scandals, but this is too much.” He calmly said.
My heart started racing. “What are you talking about?”
He slid the picture again. “When you see this, what do you see?”
“A couple in love.” I replied.
He smirked and leaned towards the desk. “What I see and what everyone will see is that Asia’s biggest star is not dating a Korean and not even an Asian woman.”
And this is when my anger started to build up. “You must be kidding me, do you know who she is? Do you know what her net worth is?” I asked as I stood up.
“That doesn’t matter, she could’ve discover a cure disease, but it won’t matter because she’s not Asian… Do I have to remind you what kind of fans you have?”
I clenched my fist. “They will understand that I fell in love with a great woman.” I answered.
He sarcastically chuckled. “Have you been so happy that you forgot in what world you live in?”
I was about to explode, but I controlled myself. “Make the official statement explaining that Emilia and I have been dating for one year.”
I walked towards the door. He suddenly said: “Should I include that you’re retiring from the industry in that statement too?”
I was dumbfounded; I turned to look at him. “Are you threatening me?” I asked.
“You can’t have it all. If you want her, you’ll have to throw your career away.” He replied.
I walked back to where he was. “I don’t need to think about this, I choose her.” I said and turned to exit the office.
“Ok then, go tell the Big Bang members that the group will be disbanded.” I flinched and stopped walking, I haven’t even thought about them, about what this would mean to them. “Go tell them that after eight years you’re throwing them away for a woman… At least Seung Hyun and Young Bae will survive after Big Bang, but who knows what will happen with Daesung and SeungRi.”
As my heart started racing I could see a montage in my head of everything I’ve lived with them during all these years: the pain, the joy, the laughs, the tears of each one of them, the sacrifice… I didn’t even noticed when Hyun Suk walked towards me; he was in front of me. “Have you forgot how much you had to sacrifice to be where you are? Have you forgot how many years you were a trainee? How much you had to suffer to become who you are? Do you know how many people depend on you? How many will be out of jobs if you choose her…?” He kept talking; he kept making me feel like the worst human being for choosing her.
“I LOVE HER!” I exploded.
He grabbed my shoulders and shook me off. “Get yourself together! Think about your brothers! Think about your family! Think about the company that has helped you get where you are!” He exclaimed.
He walked back to his desk. I just stood there, dumbfounded.
After a while I walked out of his office. I didn’t say anything. I needed to get to my studio as soon as possible; I couldn’t hold my tears any longer. I started running… after I heard the door closing; I fell to my knees and started crying desperately. Choosing her would mean throwing the lives of others to the garbage. Choosing my members would mean throwing her away. I started jabbing the floor… what could I do? Who should I sacrifice? I fell to the ground with my face towards the ceiling. I was bawling my eyes out.
I don’t know how much time has passed. I’m still here, sitting on a corner, thinking I’m the most selfish person in this world. I do love her, but I also love my members and my company. I won’t say that I’ve made a decision, but I knew that I had to sacrifice my happiness for the good of others.
I washed my face and I headed to Emi’s apartment. Before opening the door, I tried to fake my most happy smile.
She was standing in the balcony. I back-hugged her. She quickly got inside the living area.
“What is it?” I asked.
She turned to look at me. She looked different… like shaken.
“Are you okay?” I asked again.
She sighed. “Have you talk with Yang Sajangnim about us?”
I got mad pretty quickly. “I just got here and you’re going to start nagging? I’m not in the mood… not today, I need to rest.” I said before leaving her apartment.