a trip down memory lane
Apartment Block 17
[APARTMENT #417; Jeon Wonwoo, Kim Mingyu]
“Good morning.” Wonwoo rolled over and groaned loudly, flinging his arm out from under the blankets to shield his eyes from the morning light. Mingyu forgot to draw the curtains last night yet again, meaning that Wonwoo was graced with the harsh morning sunlight filtering through their apartment window. Mingyu had defended his habits by saying he ‘liked to see the stars through the window’, but Wonwoo wasn’t having it. It was Seoul; as if you’d be able to see clear stars through the city’s light pollution. Mingyu was just being lazy, not that Wonwoo could blame him.
“Good morning,” the voice repeated, now slightly annoyed. Wonwoo felt a strong arm shaking his shoulder, but refused to open his eyes out of the fear he’d go blind.
“What?” he mumbled. A hot breath hit his face, as the owner of the voice leant closer to Wonwoo’s ear. “Wake up, or I’m eating the last of your cereal,” the voice whispered.
“Go away,” Wonwoo swung his arm into the air, hitting something hard. He grabbed the perpetrator’s face and squished it, all while keeping his eyes shut tight. “Oh, hey Mingyu.”
“Stop squishing me,” Mingyu struggled to speak as Wonwoo gripped his cheeks. Wonwoo’s lips turned up into a smile as he released his other arm from under the blanket, now allowing him to squish Mingyu’s cheeks from both sides. He chuckled and slowly opened his eyes.
“Shield me from the light,” Wonwoo guided Mingyu’s face so that it was directly over his. Mingyu had already been leaning over precariously enough, so when Wonwoo dragged his face even further from the edge of the bed, he finally lost his balance and fell on top of the sleeping boy.
Mingyu took this opportunity to hug Wonwoo like a koala on a tree, clinging so tightly that Wonwoo couldn’t move. “What are you doing?” Wonwoo laughed.
Mingyu stayed still for a few seconds, before saying quietly and as menacingly as he could, “I’ve got you now.”
“And what are you doing to do with me?” Wonwoo teased, clearly amused.
Mingyu furrowed his eyebrows. “Love you, I guess?” he grinned, finally releasing Wonwoo and flopping back onto the bed next to him. “Great. I just got out of bed, too. You’re dangerous to my sleep schedule, you know?”
Wonwoo couldn’t help but smile. “I’m helping you sleep more. Isn’t that good?”
“No,” Mingyu groaned, thrashing around the bed jokingly like a kid. “I have to be at school soon.”
Wonwoo sat up slowly. “Aw, sorry,” he said, trying to pull Mingyu up. Mingyu wasn’t exactly light, so Wonwoo struggled and nearly ripped his shirt off in the process (not that it would’ve been a bad thing though).
Mingyu giggled, and clung onto Wonwoo in a tight hug. “I’m never letting go.”
“Well, you’ll have to. I need to pee.”
Mingyu pouted and let go reluctantly, Wonwoo ruffling his hair as he got up and dragged himself to the bathroom. He sat on the bed for a while - his and Wonwoo’s - before heading to the kitchen himself.
Mingyu was never going to eat Wonwoo’s cereal anyway - he didn’t even like cornflakes. He poured himself some Oreo-O’s instead, given to him by Soonyoung because apparently Jihoon didn’t like them and he didn’t want them to go to waste.
He had to head back into his room to pick out a change of clothes. Mingyu wasn’t sure when, but there came a time when Mingyu would spend more nights in Wonwoo’s bed than his own. He figured it was probably because Wonwoo would stay up in his room playing games, so Mingyu would crash on his bed next to him to keep him company. They had even managed to drag Mingyu’s single bed into Wonwoo’s room, creating a larger bed which ultimately cut down Wonwoo’s room space, but he didn’t seem to mind. Mingyu still had to get used to not getting his hand stuck in the middle of the two beds, though.
Nothing much had really changed between their friendship and relationship. They were both still new at the whole thing, so it wasn’t like they’d planned out their wedding and how many kids they were going to adopt. But they were slowly growing together, and with every passing day, Mingyu was learning something new about Wonwoo.
Like sometimes after Wonwoo fell into deep sleep, he’d twitch randomly. Sometimes, it was just a small shake, but other times, it was so violent that it even woke Mingyu up. Mingyu didn’t really care though - he thought it was really cute.
Wonwoo came out of the bathroom, looking fresh and awake in a light brown pullover and jeans which fit him way too well. Mingyu had to stop himself from staring.
“Want me to walk you to school?” Wonwoo asked, taking his cereal from the cupboard and milk from the fridge. “I don’t have class until later.”
“You’ll walk me?” Mingyu said happily. Wherever they were, Mingyu could barely restrain himself from holding Wonwoo’s hand, hugging him randomly, or wanting to scream to the world that Wonwoo was his. It had taken Wonwoo some time to be comfortable being around Mingyu outside, so any time Wonwoo asked Mingyu to go out, Mingyu was ecstatic.
Wonwoo smiled, setting off a dozen fireworks in Mingyu’s heart. “You’re such a child.”
“But I’m your child,” Mingyu grinned. Wonwoo smacked him lightly.
The walk to school was one of the best walks Mingyu had in his life. Okay, that might be an exaggeration, but Wonwoo held his hand willingly, so in Mingyu’s books, that was a massive win.
Mingyu could feel people staring, but he didn’t care. Wonwoo was warming up to public affection, and all was good in the world. Mingyu could feel Wonwoo’s palms become sweaty, but he willed himself not to let go as they entered the gates of Pledis University.
The distance to his class was short, and he reluctantly let go of Wonwoo and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before running off to his class. He’d never get tired of Wonwoo’s slightly stunned, bashful expression.
His class went by quickly, and honestly all he wanted to do was go back home and snuggle back under the blankets with the love of his life. But just as he was heading towards the exit, a hand touched his shoulder lightly.
He turned to find a tall boy around his age - possibly older? - who was incredibly handsome. His brown hair shone in the morning sunlight, and it was pushed back, revealing thick, luscious eyebrows and a jawline anyone would kill for.
“Hey. It’s Mingyu, right?” the boy said, his voice the texture of dark chocolate. Mingyu wasn’t sure what that meant, but that was the first thought that crossed his mind. “Not sure if we’ve met. I’m Sehun.”
“Oh!” Mingyu exclaimed, the name jogging his memory. He remembered Wonwoo mentioning his name a few times when he talked about the people who had harassed him in the past.
“Wow, you even know my last name…” Sehun looked taken aback.
“What?” Mingyu said, confused. “I don’t think we’ve met, but, uh… Wonwoo…”
“Yeah. That’s a bit awkward,” Sehun laughed quietly. “Mind if we talk for a bit?
Mingyu honestly found it difficult to hate a guy who was so handsome. He hated himself for falling for looks so easily, but this Sehun guy was so good looking he had to constantly remind himself how much he loved Wonwoo.
Sehun led Mingyu to a nearby café within campus grounds, ordered two lattes and took a seat near the window. Mingyu followed meekly, unsure of what to do.
“So, I’m sure Wonwoo’s told you heaps about how wonderful I was,” Sehun started, sipping tentatively at his latte and gesturing for Mingyu to drink as well.
“You could say that,” Mingyu tried to sound confident, but he was honestly a bit scared. This guy had caused Wonwoo misery in the past. No matter how hot he was, that couldn’t be forgiven.
“Yeah. It was a long time ago, and I hate sounding so cliché, but I really was a different person,” Sehun sighed, sounding genuinely regretful. “I think I was trying to come to terms with my own uality. That ’s confusing, you know?”
Mingyu honestly didn’t really relate - he’d never questioned what he felt. “Yeah, it’s hard,” he said anyway, not wanting to sound over-privileged or anything.
“It wasn’t just Wonwoo. I took my anger out on so many people, and they didn’t deserve it. I hope you can understand that, because you really seem like a cool guy,” Sehun said, looking Mingyu directly in the eye.
“T-thanks,” Mingyu said awkwardly, not knowing what to say. “Wait, if you were struggling with your uality—“
“Ha. Surprise, surprise, I turned out to be exactly what I thought I detested,” Sehun laughed bitterly.
“Oh,” Mingyu said. “Funny how life turns out, huh.”
“Yeah. I’m actually with someone now who was very similar to me, so… yeah. I think I’ve finally come to terms with that part of myself, and I’ve managed to find someone who was the same. I’m very thankful.”
Mingyu couldn’t help but think about Minghao’s struggles with that boy called Luhan - he’d heard enough from Minghao to completely detest the boy he’d never met. But Minghao had his heart broken by that boy - so Mingyu was glad that Wonwoo never faced any of that, too. Mingyu hated seeing how tense Minghao got when he recounted events in his past.
“That’s good. Honestly, I wish more people could be like you,” Mingyu sighed, leaning back in his chair. “The world would be a better place. Love what you love, and mind your own business.”
“Yeah,” Sehun smiled. “But by that logic, you’d be defending es—“
“Okay, I take it back. Love what you love, within reason,” Mingyu said hurriedly, earning a laugh from Sehun.
“Anyway, I should head off. Are we cool?” Sehun stood slowly, reaching his hand out to Mingyu, who took it.
“Sure. Just talk to Wonwoo, maybe,” Mingyu said, shaking Sehun’s hand firmly.
Sehun paused for a moment, before saying, “I’ll try.”
the fantastic four >
Today 11:45 AM
me
> omgggg @Wonwoo, i just talked to sehun??
mingtwo
> no way? why??
actor-hyung
> DO WE NEED TO CUT A
me
> wonwOOOOOOOOOOO
wonton
> EXCUSE ME WHAT
> WHY MINGYU
> DID HE HURT YOU
actor-hyung
> awwwww look at wonwoo being protective over bae
me
> btw I’m at flower bakery, do u guys want anything
mingtwo
> oh get me that custard bun thanks
me
> noted
> anyway YEAH so he approached me, and BASICALLY he said he’s gay and he was always struggling so he took out his anger on people
wonton
> oh
> i guess that’s what he meant by ‘i’ve changed’
> wait how did he even know u?
me
> idk lol
> BUT GET THIS
> HE HAS A BOYFRIEND NOW
> HE SAID ‘he struggled in the same way i did’ SO
> CONSPIRACY THEORY!!!!!!!!
> WHAT IF IT’S LUHAN @Minghao
mingtwo
> what the lol
> WAIT
> luhan DID say stuff like ‘i’ve changed’ and that he had… family issues????
actor-hyung
> wth does this mean every homophone is actually a closeted gay
> homophobe*
wonton
> interesting
> i’m glad my suffering helped him realise his identity
mingtwo
> THAT EXPLAINS WHY HE DATED ME THEN DID A COMPLETE 180
> MINGYU YOURE A GENUIS
me
> also wonwoo don’t be surprised if sehun approaches you
> he seems pretty cool, ngl
wonton
> dont fall for him mingyu
> now that u know he’s gay
me
> don’t worry, im all yours <3
mingtwo
> disgusting. bring me my bread you peasant
me
> (・Д・)
[APARTMENT #118; Choi Hansol, Boo Seungkwan]
LIVE Q&A! #17
260,515 views
———
boonon ✔
Published on 23 Nov 2016
thanks to everyone who sent in questions!!
subscribe for a free ice cream :D
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2,019 Comments ≡ SORT BY
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Vernon’s Elbow 2 months ago
SEUNGKWAN FULL ON GULPED THAT ICE CREAM WTF
👍 163 👎 REPLY
boonon is love boonon is life 2 months ago
You can’t convince me that they’re JUST friends, like look at how Vernon looks at Seungkwan??? I’m soft
👍 584 👎 REPLY
Jimins wife 1 month ago
if i had a dollar everytime seungkwan looked at hansol like hes the prettiest thing in the universe my debt would be gone
👍 57 👎 REPLY
The popular comments on their videos were usually alright, consisting mainly of nice comments about their visuals, pointing out funny moments, and the occasional ‘we stan skinny legends’. Most of Seungkwan and Hansol’s fans were nice and respectful, but as you scrolled down, the comments became nastier for the most part, as with almost every video on Youtube.
Mrs. H 2 days ago
gay s
👍 👎 REPLY
Jasmeena 1 week ago
wtf why do people think their attractive lol they look like girls
👍 👎 REPLY
ARMY FOR LIFE 1 week ago
ANY ARMY HERE??????
👍 7 👎 REPLY
shister shooketh 2 weeks ago
Honestly, I don’t see the hype behind them? They aren’t even that good at music, people only like them because of their bromance
👍 2 👎 REPLY
Drink Bleach not Water 2 weeks ago
why r thye wearin makeup, lol r they stupide or wat
👍 👎 REPLY
Stop uwuing 2 weeks ago
Vernon should have his own channel
👍 1 👎 REPLY
Thomas the Tank Engine 2 weeks ago
uh so when are they coming out? it’s so obvious.
👍 3 👎 REPLY
Boogiepop is real 2 weeks ago
Wow, more korean boys who are popular only because they had plastic surgery to look like girls. Thank you, next
👍 👎 REPLY
Seungkwan knew it was self-destructive to read hate comments, but he really couldn’t help it. It was as if he was unconsciously drawn to the negativity. He wasn’t straightforward like Hansol; he couldn’t simply just ignore it.
He closed his laptop and lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. His phone started buzzing with message notifications, but he didn’t really feel like talking with anyone, so he put it on silent.
He’d been at a loss for months. His mind was in constant turmoil, and it wasn’t just because of Hansol. He was about to graduate from high school and would probably continue on to Pledis University, but he honestly didn’t know what he wanted to study. Did he want to continue singing and pursuing music, like Seokmin? Or should he study a more practical course, like law, for the chance at a stable job?
Seungkwan wondered what Hansol would do. Would he move back to America? Hansol had been saying how much he missed his family, and Seungkwan couldn’t blame him. There were so many instances where Seungkwan wished he was back in Jeju Island, where he didn’t have to cook or clean or worry about anything.
But Seungkwan knew that Hansol was a ‘go with the flow’ kind of guy. He probably wasn’t too worried about his future, and the two had barely talked about it despite all the time they spent together.
Between final exams, their Youtube channel, and his feelings for Hansol, Seungkwan’s mind was exploding and he felt unable to cope. He was at a pivotal time in his life, youth, and he felt like he was far too stressed to enjoy any of it.
He sighed and tried to clean his room up a bit. He’d let go of cleanliness a long time ago, allowing his desk to become littered with takeaway boxes, homework sheets and bubble tea cups. As he cleared his desk, he found a book under the mess.
It was the scrapbook Hansol made him for Christmas. He hadn’t looked through it since the night he got it, so he dusted the crumbs of food off the cover and plopped back onto his bed, flipping to the first page.
”I never realised how many polaroids we’d taken together until I collected them up,” Hansol had said, with a somewhat bashful expression on his face. The polaroids were mainly selfies of Hansol and Seungkwan, but quite a few were just of Seungkwan.
In most of them, Seungkwan wasn’t looking at the camera. There was one of him eating cereal, his hair a bird’s nest and his eyes droopy with fatigue. Another one of when they visited Jeju Island together the previous year; he was looking out at the ocean with the sea breeze flowing through his hair. There was even one of him smiling at his phone, and though he couldn’t remember what he was looking at, it was a genuine smile.
Does this boy carry a polaroid camera everywhere?, Seungkwan wondered, baffled at how many pictures of himself was in the scrapbook. He barely remembered any of them being taken, and at the time, he probably didn’t even notice.
He was probably overthinking it, but he couldn’t help but feel happy that Hansol had noticed him even in the most random moments. It could be just that Hansol enjoyed taking pictures of people, like Mingyu did (Mingyu would always complain that no one took pictures of him, though), but Seungkwan liked to think it was because Hansol was particularly fond of him.
Their friendship over the years had been so simple and straightforward. Hansol was Seungkwan’s best friend, and vice versa. The two were inseparable, almost joined at the hip, and you would hardly see one without the other, so much so that Seungkwan couldn’t help but feel that his whole life revolved around Hansol. And that scared him.
He knew would always be associated with Hansol. In many instances, Hansol would be the more popular one, and Seungkwan would be brushed aside as ‘Hansol’s best friend’. Not to mention that to some people, all he was to them was one half of an OTP. He only had to open up any one of his vocal covers for proof that their relationship was all anyone cared about.
Beautiful Moment (K.Will) cover by Seungkwan
453,331 views
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boonon ✔
Published on 24 Dec 2016
merry christmas eve, everyone!
subscribe for more beautiful moments :D
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Tae’s Bae 1 week ago
yo it’s been a hot minute since we’ve seen vernon, where he at?
👍 4 👎 REPLY
MONBABY 2 weeks ago
omg I can imagine Seungkwan singing this to Vernon, I’m CRYINGGGG
👍 633 👎 REPLY
this human needs help 1 month ago
If he’s singing with that much emotion, it has to be for Vernon ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
👍 17 👎 REPLY
Ya Boi 1 month ago
When are the vlogs coming back? I miss the bromance :(
👍 👎 REPLY
Seungkwan wanted to be recognised as an individual, a person who could sing - not just be known for some ‘bromance’. As much as he loved Hansol, he felt that his relationship with him was the cause for their fame. It ultimately made Seungkwan question how real his feelings for Hansol were, and how much of an impact it would have for both of them if he were to confess.
What if Hansol only acted close on camera? He may care for Seungkwan as a friend, but what if he exaggerated it on camera to keep up the whole bromance thing? These thoughts swirled through Seungkwan’s mind at breakneck speed, and he would’ve killed to know how Hansol truly felt about him.
Seokmin’s texts ran through Seungkwan’s mind briefly. I think Hansol’s worth it, no matter what happens with your ‘fans’. Seokmin was definitely right, and he could acknowledge that. But he was mostly scared of throwing away their friendship for a relationship that may or may not work out.
He couldn’t lose Hansol, no matter what. And it was the fear of losing his best friend that allowed Seungkwan to keep his feelings to himself for the time being.
There was a soft knock at the door, and Seungkwan snapped out of his wallowing, rubbing his face quickly in an attempt to look awake and alert.
“Hey,” Hansol peeped his head in slowly.
“Hey,” Seungkwan replied back, trying his best to sound like his usual self.
“So this new pizza place opened at Gangnam,” Hansol began, opening the door and walking closer to Seungkwan. “Wanna go for dinner?”
Seungkwan’s heart picked up. He hated himself for overreacting to anything Hansol said. It never used to affect him so much, but with his growing feelings, literally anything Hansol said or did was enough to make Seungkwan nervous.
In a state of panic, he his phone and saw a notification from Seokmin.
horsemin 10m ago
heyy seungkwan! mingyu and i are going to the arcade, wanna come with?
An escape. Seungkwan looked back up at Hansol, who was looking at him expectantly.
“U-uh, sorry. I’m going to the arcade with Seokmin and Mingyu,” Seungkwan said hurriedly, immediately regretting it upon seeing Hansol’s face. He looked somewhat upset, but also as if he expected it.
“Oh. It’s okay, I’ll ask Chan or something,” Hansol mumbled. “Have fun at the arcade,” he said with a sad smile as he closed the door quietly.
You’ve done it again, Seungkwan. You’ve pushed away the one person you care for the most. Seungkwan mentally slapped himself. He needed to get rid of his feelings quick, or his whole friendship would be in jeopardy.
After a moment of self-hatred, he carefully placed Hansol’s scrapbook under his bed, grabbed his bag, texted Seokmin and headed out to Mansae Arcade.
[ROCKET PIZZA]
“I’m honestly not sure what I should do,” Hansol said, chewing on a large bite of pizza.
“Stop talking while you’re eating,” Chan laughed, trying to wipe the oil off his fingers. “But yeah, I’m sorry… I have no clue too. Seungkwan can be quite hard to read.”
“It’s crazy, because,” Hansol took another bite of pizza, not caring in the slightest about how messy he probably looked, “I’ve known Seungkwan for years, and I thought I understood him. But I honestly can’t tell why he’s been so weird. He’s usually so expressive, but it’s as if he’s trying to trap everything inside, and I can’t figure it out.”
Chan couldn’t help but stare with a somewhat disgusted expression as Hansol sloppily pulled apart more pizza, his fingers as he went along. “I expected sloppy eating from Seokmin, but you…”
“What?” Hansol asked with a defensive tone. “This pizza’s so good.”
“Alright,” Chan sat back. “Um, you said Seungkwan’s been put off by some of your fans’ comments, right?”
“Yeah,” Hansol nodded. “I’ve been thinking, maybe we should just stop it all. Get off Youtube.”
“What? No way!” Chan said in surprise. “Maybe a break, but to disappear completely… it’s such a big part of your life, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, but I mean…” Hansol looked thoughtful, stopping to chew, “Seungkwan’s mental health comes before that. If he doesn’t want to continue then I don’t see why we should.”
“That’s true.”
Hansol popped the last piece of pizza into his mouth and brushed the crumbs off his hands all over the table. Chan tried not to cringe; he hated when his brother did this at home, leaving him to have to clean up after.
“He’s also been avoiding me a lot,” Hansol continued, “He always goes off with Seokmin. I mean, he says it’s for the showcase performance, but I’m not sure anymore. I mean, even on his birthday, he said he had to go practise and didn’t want to go out after.”
“I guess Seungkwan just wants to help Seokmin get a good grade,” Chan said good-naturedly. “You know how much Seungkwan cares about others.”
“Yeah,” Hansol sighed. “He really does care a lot.”
“What about you though?” Chan asked. Hansol looked confused, so he continued, “Like, how do you feel about the whole Youtube thing and your fans?”
Hansol looked thoughtful. “Every influencer will get hate and stupid comments,” he shrugged nonchalantly, “I still have so many ideas and plans for our channel. So I guess just speaking for myself, I’d like to keep going.”
“Would you consider doing a solo channel?” Chan asked.
“Hell no. Part of the fun is because Seungkwan’s with me,” Hansol said, pressing his lips into a thin line. “I don’t think I could do it without him. Besides, it was Seungkwan’s idea to start Youtube in the first place… I could never start a new channel by myself.”
Chan didn’t say anything for a while, seemingly at a loss for words. “I guess all you can really do is try to slowly coax Seungkwan into talking to you.”
“Yeah. Not much I can do until then,” Hansol said sadly. He started twiddling his fingers with nothing else to do. “Um, anyway, how are you?” he said after a pause, trying for a lighter tone to lift the somewhat heavy atmosphere.
“Me? Alright, I guess,” Chan said. He sounded tired, more so than usual.
“You tired from training?” Hansol questioned.
“Yeah. It’s… a lot,” Chan said, seemingly not wanting to talk about it.
“Do you still enjoy it?”
“Honestly, not really,” Chan sighed. “Seokmin’s the same. We both don’t really know what we’re doing. And our parents are seriously on our backs for some results.”
“Hmm, that really ,” Hansol said, for lack of better words. “I mean, you two are out here, living independently and paving your own way through life. I think as long as you find something you’re happy doing, whether that be being an idol or something else, what your parents say shouldn’t matter.”
“You’re so straightforward,” Chan laughed, cheering up a little. “But thanks. You’re right… I just don’t know what I want to do anymore. I’m starting to think being an idol is more than I can handle.”
Hansol smiled and clapped Chan on the back. “You’re a talented guy. I believe in you.”
“Thanks, Hansol,” he said, grabbing his bag and stretching a little in his seat. “I should probably get going. I’m going to try cook some soup for Seokmin today.”
“Wow, you’re such a great sibling,” Hansol said in admiration. “I wish my sister was as cool as you.”
Chan laughed. “Nah, Seokmin said he doubted I could cook for my life, so I’m just doing this to prove him wrong. We always get takeout anyway. Besides, your sister is so nice! At least to me.”
“Sofia can be… weird,” Hansol said.
“Runs in the family,” Chan smirked, earning a light push from Hansol. He was just about to stand up to leave, when Chan suddenly exclaimed, “Oh yeah!”
“What?” Hansol questioned.
“I just remembered. So, Chaeyoung asked me to this party thing her friend’s holding,” Chan said.
“Oh, seriously?” It had only been two weeks since Hansol found out that his crush actually liked Chan, but the feelings had already faded into oblivion. Sure, Chaeyoung was a nice girl, but she really was just a small crush, like one every boy in high school would have at some point. It would’ve been nice if she liked Hansol back, but sometimes things happen for a reason (at least, thats what Hansol liked to think).
“Yeah. Not sure if I should go, even as a friend,” Chan looked at a loss.
“If you can, maybe bring some of your friends? So it’s less awkward,” Hansol suggested.
“I guess I could ask Mark,” Chan said thoughtfully, “Maybe Minhyuk too. Would you wanna come?”
“Nah. It’d feel weird. Just go ahead and have fun!” Hansol said, patting Chan on the back and standing up, ready to leave. “But be careful. Call me or Seokmin if you need anything.”
“Alright. Thanks,” Chan smiled. He stood and they left the restaurant, taking a bus back to Apartment Block 17 and parting ways from there. Just as Hansol reached his apartment door, his phone buzzed multiple times with notifications. It was the group Jihoon created for his showcase performance - Jihoon had asked him, Seungcheol, and another girl he met on campus to do a joint performance.
Q&A >
Today 7:02 PM
memehoon
> hey, are you guys free tomorrow for practice?
memecheol
> yeah sure, how early though
memehoon
> cheol, you know the earliest i do is like 2pm
memecheol
> cool just checking
amy-noona
> Yeah I’m free, but I have a class at 9 so I might be tired
memecheol
> am or pm?
amy-noona
> What do u think lol
me
> sure i’m down, though i might wanna vlog with seungkwan
memecheol
> oooh you’re doing another vlog?
me
> i mean, i’ve been thinking about it for a while
> just gotta ask seungkwan if he’s down
memecheol
> u can vlog coming to practise with us then ;)
me
> ya sounds good. meet around 2? studio?
amy-noona
> I’m down
memehoon
> ok see you guys
memehoon >
Today 7:03 PM
memehoon
> oh yeah hansol
> i’ve nearly finished some of the songs for our collab
me
> omg no way??!?! jihoon you’re a genius
memehoon
> lol it’s ok
> i wrote them bc i was bored anyway
me
> omg
> anyway, i’ll tell seungkwan and we can meet up some other time
memehoon
> sounds good
> i’ll send the guide later so u can have a listen
Hansol put his phone away and fished around his pockets for his keys, letting himself into the apartment and heading straight for Seungkwan’s room. He’d honestly been planning a kind of ‘day in the life’ vlog for a while, but he wasn’t sure when he wanted to ask Seungkwan about it. Hansol had also been wanting to collaborate with Jihoon, since he had quite a following on SoundCloud and it seemed like a fun thing to do.
Hansol poked his head into Seungkwan’s room without bothering to knock, but it was empty and quiet. It seemed that Seungkwan still wasn’t home.
He sighed and trudged back to the living room. He considered giving Seungkwan a call, but decided against it for the time being as he didn’t want to disturb him.
Instead, he found his laptop on the kitchen table and flopped onto the couch, opening up Youtube. He scrolled through their channel, the nostalgia of their first few videos together hitting him hard.
”Hey everyone!” Seungkwan greeted, smiling brightly at the camera. “We’re here in Jeju today.”
“Ahh, it’s so nice here,” Hansol said, breathing in a deep gulp of air and closing his eyes.
“I’m a bit hungry, so I think we’ll head to my house,” Seungkwan said, Hansol looking at him with a surprised expression.
It had been a rather spontaneous trip to Seungkwan’s hometown about a year and a half ago, where Hansol had met Seungkwan’s mother and two older sisters. It almost felt like a second home for him, despite only visiting for a week.
”I wasn’t actually born here… I’m from Busan,” Seungkwan explained, looking away from the camera intermittently to check that he wasn’t going to walk into a pole. “But I consider myself a Jeju boy.”
“We should go to Busan one day, then,” Hansol said with a laugh.
“Ehh, but if we go to Busan, then you’re taking me to New York!” Seungkwan said.
Hansol smiled at him. “Sure, let’s go after we graduate.”
Hansol only realised now that they were mere weeks away from graduating Pledis High. He knew he wasn’t 100% serious when he said that back then, but if he had the money, he’d drop everything for a holiday with his best friend.
”Ahh! Mum!” Seungkwan shouted as they began sliding slowly down the zipline. They weren’t even going fast, but Seungkwan was yelling non-stop. Hansol, who was behind him, couldn’t stop smiling.
Their Youtube channel had started off as random skits and lip syncing to popular songs (which now were all on private due to copyright claims). They had started recording videos right after they moved in together in their first year of high school, after meeting at a music event.
Hansol vividly remembered the first time he met Seungkwan. He was simply standing in the crowd when a boy of his age bumped into him, saying, “Oi, watch where you’re going!”
Hansol had been baffled at first, replying, “But I was just standing here,” and honestly, the boy seemed irritated at first because he knew Hansol was right. But after bickering for a few more minutes, they somehow exchanged numbers and soon decided to move in together - Hansol had been previously been staying with his dad, while Seungkwan had a relative who had allowed him to stay with them while he was in Seoul.
They had finally convinced their respective families to let them move in together and be more independent as they entered high school - now being able to earn enough to completely support themselves. Hansol couldn’t help but reminisce on how far they’d come since then.
He clicked on more videos, consciously skipping past a one titled ‘Headlines’ for… reasons. As Seungkwan had repeatedly told him, ”It’s important to embrace your previous mistakes and embarrassments,” hence why stupid videos they made during their youth remained up on the internet for the world to see.
There was one video which Hansol remembered fondly, where Seungkwan randomly started a live video while Hansol was visiting his dad at home.
”I’m going to call Vernon,” Seungkwan said. He’d propped up the camera so it was facing him, sitting at a table in front of the window.
Hansol knew that Seungkwan was probably too lazy to set up their tripod, so he probably had just leant the camera on a stack of books. His hair looked freshly washed, and he was wearing the glasses he never wore - Hansol was convinced it was more for fashion than actual eyesight.
”Hello?” Hansol picked up the phone.
“Oh, Vernon. I’m doing a live video,” Seungkwan said, taking the phone away from his ear to put it on speaker. He had a habit to use Hansol’s middle name (which was adopted as somewhat of a stage name) on camera. It was almost as if Seungkwan was unconsciously trying to separate their online life from their private one.
“Yeah, I’m watching,” Hansol said, static muffling his words slightly.
“You are?” Seungkwan exclaimed, clearly shocked. “That’s a surprise.”
“Of course,” Hansol laughed. “I just got a notification, so I clicked it. It’s not that deep. I was actually watching our latest vlog.”
Seungkwan laughed. “Really? Yeah, that was fun to film.”
“Yeah, it was. I’m glad it wasn’t only us who enjoyed it. Everyone else seemed to like it too,” Hansol said, smiling, though no one would’ve picked it up through the phone.
“I like you too,” Seungkwan said, his hand covering his mouth slightly. But anyone could tell that he was smiling bashfully.
Hansol chuckled, the noise coming out louder than expected. “So do I.”
Seungkwan looked taken aback. “Hey! You’re only saying that because you’re on camera.”
“Sure,” Hansol replied playfully.
Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “Don’t be fooled. He’d never reply like this in real life,” he said into the camera.
It was somewhat true. Hansol was quite affectionate himself, but he never actively expressed his feelings or anything. Seungkwan would constantly ask him, “What do you think of me?” and Hansol would simply reply honestly. He never really thought too much about these things.
Even the time they filmed a Q&A, when a fan had asked Hansol what his favourite part of Seungkwan was. He’d jokingly spun Seungkwan around and slapped his - as a joke, but he could see now that it might’ve made Seungkwan uncomfortable, even though they had both laughed about it for a long time afterwards.
Hansol was tearing his mind apart, wondering why Seungkwan had suddenly started avoiding him. Maybe Seokmin was a better friend? He couldn’t be sure. Watching their old videos made Hansol miss the dynamic they used to have.
Eventually, he caved and called Seungkwan anyway.
“Hello?” came Seungkwan’s voice, muffled by loud music in the background, undoubtedly from the arcade.
“Hey, Seungkwan,” Hansol said. “Are you getting home soon?”
“Uh,” Seungkwan paused. There was a faint “Shut up, Mingyu!” before Seungkwan’s voice returned to the phone, as he said, “Yeah, soon. Did you go to the pizza place?”
“Yeah, I went with Chan,” Hansol said. The line went silent for a while, with the exception of loud beeping and bells tolling from arcade machines.
“Cool. Um, anyway, I’ll head home now, so—“ the phone cut off. Hansol was worried at first, but he received a text immediately from Seungkwan, saying that Seokmin had taken his phone to take a picture.
Seungkwan arrived home not more than 10 minutes later, letting himself in using his keys. Hansol was slightly startled, as he had been listening to music on the couch.
“You have to be careful of possible burglars sneaking in while you’re jamming out,” Seungkwan said jokingly, setting his bag down on the counter.
“But you’ll come rescue me, right?” Hansol smirked as Seungkwan sat down on the couch next to him.
“Yeah. I’ll use the nunchucks Minghao gave me,” Seungkwan said jokingly.
His somewhat happy expression dropped suddenly, and the air became heavier. “Sorry I didn’t go with you to the pizza place,” he said quietly, head down and not looking at Hansol.
“O-oh, that’s completely fine,” Hansol said earnestly. “I’ll take you next time! It was really good.”
“Cool,” Seungkwan whispered. They relapsed back into silence, and just as Hansol spoke up, Seungkwan did too.
“So, I need to talk—“
“Um, Hansol—“
They stared at each other for a while, before Hansol finally said, “Sorry, what were you saying?”
Seungkwan looked flustered. “Oh, uh… I just wanted to ask if you had any ideas for upcoming videos.”
Hansol grinned. “That’s what I was going to say!” He scooted closer to Seungkwan. “So, many people have been asking for us to do an apartment tour, but that would be a bit boring so maybe a ‘day in the life’ kind of vlog? We’ve never actually done one, now that I think about it.”
Seungkwan listened quietly, not offering any indication of how he felt.
Hansol continued hesitantly. “Jihoon asked me to practise for the showcase tomorrow, so I might add some of that into the vlog for content, you know. You could invite Seokmin! And we could maybe just tour the apartment block or something, introduce our friends and do what we usually do.”
“Have to remember to censor out street signs though,” Seungkwan laughed quietly. “Don’t want stalkers finding us. Like that one girl who attacked Seungcheol.”
“That happened?” Hansol asked, not remembering the incident where Seungcheol had been approached by an apparent crazed fan of his. “If even Seungcheol had a sasaeng fan…”
Seungkwan finally laughed genuinely. “C’mon, Seungcheol isn’t that unknown!”
“Just saying,” Hansol put his hands up in mock surrender. “Also, Jihoon has written a couple of songs for us - as like a collaboration? At this point, we could even make a proper, original music debut!” Hansol said excitedly.
Seungkwan smiled. “You’ve been busy, haven’t you?”
“You bet. I’ve got lots of plans,” Hansol said, “But only if you’re comfortable with it.”
“What do you mean?” Seungkwan asked.
“I don’t know,” Hansol sighed. “You’ve been down, and I feel like it has a lot to do with Youtube. So like… if you don’t want to continue, we could always—“
“No!” Seungkwan said hurriedly. “I mean… I don’t want to quit. I want to keep going.”
Hansol smiled softly. He reached out tentatively, wanting to hug Seungkwan - though all the times he’d tried in recent weeks ended with Seungkwan awkwardly pulling away and a silence following.
“You know I’m here for you, okay?” Hansol said quietly. “Whatever you’re dealing with… we’ll get through it. You’re not alone.”
Seungkwan smiled, but it was somewhat sad. “I know. Thanks, Hansol.” He reached out and met Hansol’s already outstretched arms, melting into a warm hug. It felt completely natural, a bubble of comfort for the both of them. Hansol couldn’t help but feel somewhat relieved.
Seungkwan clung onto Hansol’s sweater tightly, as Hansol brought his arm up to pat Seungkwan’s head. They never really hugged for this long, and it was beginning to feel somewhat intimate - but Hansol didn’t have the heart to let go, not when Seungkwan seemed so… broken.
Seungkwan eventually pulled away, though he still clung tight onto Hansol’s hand. Hansol wasn’t sure where this vulnerable side of Seungkwan was coming from. He really did care about his friend, and seeing him relax into his touch made him happy.
That night, Hansol didn’t feel like leaving Seungkwan alone. He felt that if he did, whatever progress they’d made that night in mending their relationship would be gone. Over the past few weeks, their dynamic had been rocky to say the least - one minute fine, the next minute not.
Seungkwan didn’t say anything as Hansol crawled into bed next to him. Hansol continued to Seungkwan’s palm, in what he hoped was a comforting gesture.
They stayed like that for a while, Hansol not realising he’d fallen asleep until he awoke a while later to see Seungkwan next to him, eyes closed and a soft smile on his face. Their hands were still entwined.
He smiled to himself, Seungkwan’s head one last time before quietly getting up and returning to his own room.
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