Dreams are only dreams when they don't come true.

-----

It was a motel in the middle or somewhere and nowhere.

This time Mira checked in under their real names and punched Jackson  in the shoulder when he laughed.

"What about Gwen Stacey and Spiderman--wait, what's his real name?"

Mira laughed as she laid next to Jackson in the dark with her fingers laced over her stomach, "Peter Parker and it was one time. I'm not going to start using superhero names every time we need to sign in somewhere."

"I have to admit, it's cute. I've never seen you so panicked." He chuckled with his hand tucked under his head.

She raised her brow, "Cute, huh? You're really falling for me, huh?"

"I heard a rumour that philosophy majors are supposed to be crazy." He quipped.

She laughed, "Oh yeah, that's true. We're also super unhealthy to be around."

"You're starting to sound like one of my friends." Jackson said humorously.

Mira's smile fell into an impassive straight line, "Friend."

"Jaebum. He has this thing against philosophy majors. He told me never to date one." Jackson said lightly.

Mira twisted her thumb around the hem of her shirt, "Would you? You know, date one?"

"I don't buy his bull. If I like someone, I'll date them." He said simply.

She sighed and rolled on her side to look at him, "Maybe Jaebum has a point, there are some people you should just stay away from."

"I'll  make that decision on my own, but I have plenty of time before I need to deal with that." He bemused, "What about you?"

"I like the concept of finding someone who likes you for all the ugly sides but I don't know if I can do something like that." She replied thoughtfully, "Telling someone who you care about all the things about you that would make them not love you is terrifying."

Jackson shrugged, "You're really underestimating that person. Love is supposed to be selfish, right?"

"So is pain."

-----

Jackson winced and groaned as he stretched his arms over his head before peeling his eyes open. He rolled over and picked up his phone to check the time.

3:34 AM

He let out another groggy groan, letting his muscles pop before looking over his shoulder where Mira had laid next to him just a few hours ago. He blinked and sat up before smoothing his palm over the empty next to him.

She was gone.

He looked around the room and didn't find her anywhere. Frowning, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and pushed the thin blankets off his body and got out of bed before putting his sweater on. He shoved his shoes on and stepped out the door to find her sitting on a chair next to the door, wrapped up in a blanket while staring out at the rain.

"What are you doing?" He rasped while pulling his hood over his hair.

She flinched before looking over at him, Jackson's brows furrowed as he stared at her face, there was something different about the way she looked. "Couldn't really sleep."

Instead of replying, he continued to stare at her face, he noticed for the first time that with her makeup off, the purplish bags under her eyes stood out and the rims around her irises were bloodshot and tired. Her skin was ashy grey and her entire body was curled up weakly. "Have you slept at all since we started driving?"

"Of course, I have."

He narrowed his eyes, "Really? Because I woke you up in the middle of the night and I haven't seen you actually fall asleep since then. You drove when I got tired and the first night we spent at the hotel, I fe;l asleep before you finished showering and woke up to you already dressed and ready to go."

"You're perceptive." She mused.

He tilted his head, "How are you even operating on that little sleep?"

"Sleep is not an easy concept for me." She said with a dry laugh before looking back out at the parking lot."And I barely function properly, that's why I'm so bad with my social interactions and maintaining a proper train of thought."

Jackson sat down next to her, "We're doing this together. You're going to have to be honest with me and come clean. I can't have you passing out from exhaustion in the middle of this. You're going to have to trust me because you really don't have much else of a choice."

She stared at him and stared into his eyes, dark, warm, difficult to read, "I'm a clinically diagnosed insomniac."

"O-Oh." He said awkwardly as she tilted her head back.

"It comes with the social anxiety. It's an infinite loop, the lack of sleep increases anxiety which makes it harder for me to sleep." She sighed, "Started when I was like 10."

"Why? Most kids don't develop anxiety and insomnia that early."

Mira stared at Jackson for a few seconds before looking away without answering.

Unnerved, he changed the subject, "But you seemed fine at the party with all those people."

"Yeah because I know how to fake it after all these years but the entire time I was reciting my study notes so I could take my mind off the crowd and the people staring at me and judging me. Big crowds and people I don't know staring at me is the worst." She mumbled soullessly.

"People stare at you wherever you go on campus all the time."

"I know. Life for me." She said with a bitter laugh.

"I didn't realize." He said softly.

She chewed on her bottom lip, "No one does because no one ever looks at you long enough to realize that there is something wrong with you."

He slipped his hands into his pockets and slouched forward, "Is that what the pills are for?"

"They're sleeping pills but they're expired." She said ruefully. "So I'm wide awake no matter how tired my body is."

He nodded, processing the information, she was Miss.Perfect. Perfect people didn't have imperfect problems, "Does this happen a lot?"

She shrugged, "Sometimes. Usually when I'm stressed or have bad memories or just can't sleep."

"And are you? Stressed I mean?" He worded out carefully.

She hugged her knees, "Sort of."

"Do you normally sleep alone?" He blurted out.

She looked up at him with an amused look. "Usually yes. I live alone for a reason. I barely get any sleep and the few times I manage to shut my brain off, I'd rather not be woken up by loud roommates. And in cases where I'm at someone else's house, I'm out the door before breakfast."

He chewed his lip before sitting up in conviction, "So, why don't you trying it with someone?"

"Are you joking?" She snorted. There was a reason she never actually slept next to Jackson through the whole trip. She couldn't fall asleep when her mind was hyper aware of the person next to her, focusing on the sound of their breathing, the heat from their body, the sound of them shifting on the mattress, it was all over stimulating. She had never successfully fallen asleep next to someone. "That just makes it worse. My mind won't shut off."

"I think it depends on the person. Come on, come sleep with me." He said while standing up.

It was strange hearing those words out of his mouth laced with context that wasn't ual at all. She looked at him incredulously and scoffed, "I'm not going to do that, Jackson."

"Are you intimacy issues that bad?" He taunted with a smirk, "Or are you worried that if you sleep so close to me that you won't be able to control yourself?"

She narrowed his eyes and Jackson's smile faltered when he could see the hollowness of her face and the veins prominent under her eyes, Under the harsh glow of the neon lights, the mystical façade of Kang Mira was gone. She wasn't the intimidating, witted Golden Child that could never do wrong.

She was human.

And it was terrifying.

"Alright." She relented, much to his surprise, before standing up with the blanket still tightly wrapped around her. She padded past him and into the room with him trailing behind her.

They climbed into bed together and sat there awkwardly, unsure what to do before Jackson timidly wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her towards him. Tucking herself against him, she softened against him, loosening her muscles so she could get comfortable.

He had a different warmth to him, it wasn’t like being wrapped in a blanket or sitting next to a fire.