Mira stood at the doors of the campus building, just watching.

Watching everyone scurry across to meet up with and hug their friends after having not seen each other for 3 weeks. It was typical behaviour that always happened after long breaks, the dramatic reunions.

In the past she wouldn't think twice about it, in fact, she found it quite touching that people missed each other that much. But now, standing there, watching them miss each other knowing that none of them would even notice a fellow student was gone for good.

Oh, wait.

Right.

Mark wasn't a student. 

She took a deep breath and started walking across the quad where a group of friends had started kicking a ball back and forth. It was surreal. Everything was back to normal, everyone was laughing, smiling and basking in the sun, completely unaware of the truth.

No one knew about Mark, no one will know he's missing and they will all continue with their lives.

It was like an entirely different universe.

She felt so disassociated from her peers.

She lifted her head and stopped in her tracks when she saw the bench where her and Mark was hanging out when they were eating ice cream. She swallowed the growing lump down and took a shaky breath before turning her head and continuing to walk forward.

This was how it was going be, wasn't it?

Her apartment and the entirety of the campus will forever be stuck in the past. Nothing would be different because no one would notice Mark's disappearance, they wouldn't think twice about the fact that they hadn't seen the kid they shared a class for half a year in a month. They'd go back to normal and she'd be back in a mindset where Mark wasn't gone. She'd pretend that he was just on vacation or on a trip, ignoring the harsh truth. But then it'd hit her, she'd see his contact on her phone or find his pen on her desk and it'd all come crumbling down.

She would just have to wait for the shoe to drop.

"Mira!"

She stiffened before looking over her shoulder where Hyeri was running up to her with a bright grin. Mira shifted awkwardly as she ran up to her. Her eyes widened when Hana threw her arms around her, hugging her.

They weren't these types of friends. They never touched, they barely shook hands. Mira stiffly patted her on the back before being the first to pull away.

"How was your break?" Hyeri quipped while stepping away.

Mira's eyes darkened and her face shifted defensively, "It was fine."

Hyeri's smile faltered, clearly pricked by Mira's curt response but she didn't give up, "That's good. My break was fun. I met this guy, we had a bit of a fling, nothing serious, it really boosted my ego."

"That's...nice." Mira didn't know what she was expected to say to that. She didn't know Hyeri enough to actually feel happy for her and her new fling. It was bizarre, hearing her talk about how amazing the last three weeks were for her while it was hell on earth for Mira. It was making her head throb painfully.

Hyeri beamed proudly, "I felt like it was a really good exper--"

"I'm sorry, but I'm kind of in a rush." Mira blurted out.

Hyeri's smile slipped off her face as she stared at Mira in disbelief, "Are you serious?"

"Yeah. I'll see you around, Hyeri." Mira muttered before walking away, but before she could get a couple of steps away, Hyeri called out her.

"It’s Hana."

Mira stopped in her steps and turned to stare at her. "What?" She rasped out, her head dizzying in confusion.

She scoffed and raised her voice, catching the attention of people walking by. "I've been in class with you for 2 years and we worked on like 5 projects together and you still don't know my name? It's Hana! Not Hyeri! Are you really that self-absorbed that you can't think about anyone but yourself, Mira?"

Jackson lifted his head at the sound of a familiar name and the sudden commotion surrounding her. Jaebum noticed the way Jackson's footsteps slowed down and saw a crowd gathering around Mira and some other girl. Frowning, Jackson walked closer, yet stayed far enough out of her radar and watched as people pulled out their phones.

"Hana?" Mira's voice cracked. Jackson felt his stomach churn when he saw how dazed she looked. It was the first time he had seen her since she left for the train. Her voice sounded small and broken. Her eyes were barely focusing on this Hana girl even though she was staring at her and he could see her swaying like she couldn't keep her balance. She looked like she was about to pass out.

"My name is Hana or are you too stuck up to remember that?"

Mira blinked at her and everyone held their breath, waiting for her reaction but she just nodded, "Hana. Right. I'm sorry about that. I should've remembered. That's my fault."

Everyone fell into a stunned silence as Mira bowed before turning. She lifted her head and her eyes locked with Jackson's for half a second and he swore she punched the air out of his lungs with that look but she was already walking away. Everyone put their phones away when they realized they weren't getting a brawl and even Hana looked a bit disappointed before everyone scattered.

And that was the last time he saw her that day.

-----

The first week of school hadn't been any better for the both of them.

Jackson shut the door behind him and winced when he heard the loud crash in the office he just exited. His coach wasn't too pleased that he was leaving the team right before the nationals, therefore taking the university out of the singles competition.

He leaned his back against the door before closing his eyes. It was cowardly but he was glad that he didn't have to be there at the team meeting this evening when the coach would have to break the news to everyone else.

And he was moving into his new apartment.

Admittedly, Jaebum accepted the decision a lot faster than he was prepared for.  

But he'd figure it out after the news breaks.

He rolled his neck before slowly opening his eyes just to catch Mira walking down the hall in his direction. His heart wretched in longing, he hadn't seen her the whole week. He couldn't tell if she was dodging him on purpose or if they were never meant to cross paths. They even had a class together but he was positive she had just skipped class.

He his lips, a desperate whine growing in his throat. His heart unwound as he stepped towards her but he stopped when he saw her face. Her eyes were vacant and her face looked like it was in a constant daze. She lifted her head and their eyes locked together, he saw her face change, her eyes softening before she quickly averted her gaze.

No. 

He wanted to scream.

No. Come back.

I miss you.

I need you.

.

-----

Mira slouched in her seat and waited for class to start. She chose to skip out on the first day and she knew she couldn't afford to do it twice.

She stiffened and watched as Jaebum strolled into the lecture hall. "." She hissed before looking away. It was much to her surprise that he didn't sit right next to her just to suffocate her. Instead, he stopped at her row and stared down at it before walking up three more rows.

But before she could over think, the professor walked into the room, closing the door after her. "Alright, class. We have a lot to cover so let's jump into it, shall we?"

Mira let out a breath, relieved at the distraction until a bigger one burst through her door.

"Sorry! Sorry!"

Mira stared in shock as Jackson panted out of breath, "Sorry I'm late."

"It's fine, Mr. Wang. Take a seat we're just getting started." The professor said with a smile.

Jackson nodded and took the stairs up the side of the rows until he spotted her Mira sitting at the end of hers. He nearly tripped over his feet before composing himself and sitting in her row, but on the opposite end.

She frowned to herself. why wasn't he sitting with Jaebum? Was his shoulder still in pain? Did he get the surgery? Was he still on the swim tea--

"Today we're going to discuss Hobbes' theory of selfishness. The belief that everything in human nature is self-serving." The lecturer began.

Mira's fingers froze over her keyboard. That was Mark's favourite theory. He talked about it all the time. Her body was panicking as it was hit with a tornado of emotions, she wanted to turn her head and look at Jackson to see if he was reacting in the same way.

A student in front of Mira raised his hand, catching the professor's attention, "If everything we do is for our own greed then what about being friends with someone you don't really like?"

"Well, Hobbes would argue that you're being friends with that person because it makes you feel better than if you told that person off or ignored them. It makes you feel like the bigger person."

Another student kicked in, "Well then what about being friends with someone you like?"

"The only reason you have friends is because their presence and companionship make us feel good about ourselves. It's innate selfishness."

Mira froze when she noticed everyone was staring at her. What were they looking at?

The professor cleared , "Ms. Kang, is there a reason you're standing? Do you have something you'd like to share?"

"I--" She looked down and realize that she was, indeed, standing. Her skin started to prick and her hands started to tremble as she looked around the classroom, shaking at the sight of all eyes pinned on her.

It was when she saw Jackson, the only person that was looking at his laptop and not at her, that she snapped out of her daze.

"I-I need to go. Sorry." She stuttered before closing her laptop and running out of the lecture hall, her breathing coming out in scratches with tears pricking the back of her eyes. She was more mature than that, she didn't cry at school.   

No, she cried when no one could see her.

So, she ran home.

------

So this was how it