Chapter 30: Near & Fear

The wet ground soaked in the pouring rain like a shoulder with tears. The grey clouds gathered together as family. The blue aura hugged the town as if it was trying to comfort it, but was only doing worse.

The day of the wedding was soon approaching like the sun rising in morning. At the Flower Palace, there were so many schedules to attend to. Several maids would always run back and forth to help the Princess with her wedding fashion, while the Queen would teach her lessons on being a wife and royal queen. Even though it was a lot of work, it still couldn’t distract the royal daughter from her sad thoughts.

Without the Queen’s orders to not let the Princess out of the palace, even Yeonhwa didn’t bother to take a step out. All she could do was roam around the halls quietly while sometimes staying in her library to read, too. As much as she felt depressed, she also felt stuck.

Never had she imagined that she would end up marrying someone of her parents’ choice, specifically her mother’s. She might had been a princess, but she always hoped her parents would give her the free choice of her spouse. But she was royalty, hence she had to face reality.

Over the weeks, she and Dongil also drifted. Every time she saw him, he would look at her for a second, then turn the opposite direction and walk away. Sometimes, she would make an effort to talk to him, but he would tell her that the royal guards had meetings, so he couldn’t. She felt hurt enough that her heart was broken, but now her best friend was avoiding her as well. All she wanted was to talk to him like old times - tell him what happened between her and… him. She didn’t know how else to consult her bodyguard. The only person she could turn to was her maid.

Like always, Jungseol stood by Yeonhwa’s side. She knew Her Majesty was still emotionally down at the time, so she did all she could to lift up her mood. She would sometimes take Yeonhwa to the pond, make her delicious sweets, or do embroideries with her. She did almost everything to distract the Princess from her gloomy mind, but she knew Yeonhwa’s pain was deep. It was the first time Yeonhwa ever liked and interacted with a guy, besides Dongil.

While the Princess languished the time to distract herself from all the wedding stuff, the farmboy spent his days in the opposite mood. As if nothing happened, he went back to his old self - nothing but smiles and hard work. He returned to his usual routine of making breakfast for his family, going to the farm to do fieldwork, and helping his mother at the embroidery booth. He would wear his charming smile to show his audience that he was just a happy, hardworking son of a commoner. He actually attempted to enjoy the activities he had with Jooyang as well like the old times.

But he couldn’t. Everything he did, every smile he pulled - it was all fake. Forced.

No one may had seen it, but he was breaking down on the inside. It was as if his heart was pinned down to his stomach, and it pained him so much. He didn’t know how much he could take it, but he forced himself to keep going.

He regretted it. He regretted everything so much, and he wished to take back everything he said to her that day. But it was too late. What had been done was done. Even if it was slowly killing him.

He never got to see Eunpil as much either. Ever since she confessed to him, he noticed she never visited the farm to see him and Myungseok anymore. He knew that she was going through something more painful than him. Although he still couldn’t come to conclusion that the girl, whom he spent his life with and became his best friend, grew to love him,  he didn’t blame her. He couldn’t. Feelings weren’t something that could be controlled.

It felt as though a tall, big wall was keeping the royal girl and the poor commoner from each other. It felt as though they were chained to their own identity without finding out what really completed them. It felt as though something was missing from them.

As much as the distance separated them so far apart, their hearts were much more near than they used to be.

Hwayang smiled at the old grandma in front of the booth as he handed her the embroidery she just bought. After bowing and thanking her for stopping by, she left. He counted the coins in his hand before he slipped them in the small pouch that hung around his waist.

“Hey, brat!”

Hwayang whined when he felt harsh knuckles rubbing on his forehead and an arm pulling him into a headlock. “Oww,” he winced. “Myungseok, let go! You dork!”

Myungseok laughed before he release his hold on the young lad. “Such a downer,” he said with a smile as he ruffled the farmboy’s hair. “I’m just messing with you.”

Hwayang chuckled lightly and fixed his hair back into place from the messy strands. “Well, I am busy,” he stated. “Unless you want some embroideries, come back later when I’m free.”

“And when will that be? When you are completely rid of your feelings for Yeonhwa, or when you are no longer sulking about your breakup with her?”

That hit the spot. Hwayang blinked and turned his head to his friend.

The smile on Myungseok’s face was replaced by a sudden serious expression. “Come on, Hwayang. It’s been weeks. Let’s talk about it, alright?”

Hwayang cleared his throat and gave his attention back to the booth. “There’s nothing to talk about,” he denied. “Besides, I’m busy.”

“The only thing you’re busy at is distracting yourself from facing your feelings.” Myungseok leaned against the booth. He noticed how Hwayang was avoiding eye contact with him, and he sighed heavily. “Fine, if you don’t want to talk about Yeonhwa, then let’s talk about Eunpil.”

Now, Myungseok had Hwayang’s full attention. At least his ears.

“She told me what happened…” Myungseok continued. “Have you guys talked yet?”

Hwayang exhaled and shook his head as his eyes fell to the ground. “I haven’t seen her since she told me…” he admitted. “Honestly, I don’t know what to say if I see her either. I mean,” he shrugged, “she’s been avoiding me and hasn’t visited the farm at all. I don’t think she really wants to talk to me right now.”

“Remind you of anyone,” Myungseok softly muttered. He looked up at Hwayang and took a deep breath. “Look. Us three, we’ve been best friends since childhood. And you know that whatever she said to you, it wasn’t out of selfishness or anything. She was only telling the truth. Plus, I know you’re not upset at her for her disbelief of Yeonhwa. You’re just surprised and confused.”

Hwayang poked his cheek with his tongue. “Did you know?” he asked. “Eunpil’s feelings for me… Did you?”

A sigh of defeat left Myungseok’s lips. “Yes.”

Hwayang wasn’t upset that it was surprise to him, but he exhaled uneasily. “How long?”

Myungseok put on a supportive smile and placed his hand on Hwayang’s shoulder. “Long enough.” He looked at him in awe. “Listen, you both need to talk it out. I know that you’re still dealing with your feelings for Yeonhwa right now…”

Hwayang gulped as he heard her name again.

“But remember that Eunpil is your best friend. She needs you to talk to her right now, even if she’s avoiding you. She needs to know your thoughts and how you really feel.”

“What if she doesn’t want to listen?” Hwayang asked in doubt.

Myungseok shook his head. “She won’t… But she needs to know if she wants to move on…”

Along with the other three maids, Jungseol was by the river behind the palace doing the Princess’ laundry. The other girls were in groups and held conversations. Ever since Jungseol moved into the palace, she had never gotten close with the other maids. They were always gossiping about everything, and she never liked it. Hence, she always preferred being by herself.

“Don’t you guys think the Princess has been gloomy these past weeks?” Jungseol heard a maid behind her speak.

“She looks sad, if you ask me.” She heard another reply.

A different maid scoff. “Please,” she said. “She’s just being overdramatic. She’s trying to put on an act as if she isn’t excited for the wedding. I’m pretty sure she’s laughing on the inside with cheers.”

Jungseol kept her gaze down on the wet hanbok shirt in her hands and continued to wash it. She never liked hearing them talk about nonsense things, especially if it was about Yeonhwa. It was disrespectful. As much as she didn’t want to listen to them, she could only keep quiet.

“Have you guys heard, though? Princess Yeonhwa secretly went out to see a commoner behind the Queen’s back.”

“What? Are you sure?”

“Where did you hear that?”

The maid smirked. “I overheard Queen Shim and her maid talking a couple days ago. It makes sense though, because Yeonhwa had been in and out of the palace the last months.”

“What a womanizer.”

“I never would’ve guessed that the Crown Princess of Joseon would go for a lowly peasant the same time she is about to get married.”

“If you ask me, I would say that she’s no more or less than a vixen.”

The sound of her laughters died down when she, along with the other two maids, felt a splash of water drenching them all of a sudden.

“What the hell?!”

“Hey!”

“Ugh! What is this?!”

They all stood up dropping their laundry to the ground as they tried to wipe the water excess off their faces. Noticing how the splash came behind them, they all turned around to find the Princess’ personal maid holding a bin and glaring at them.

“You guys,” Jungseol said through her gritted teeth, “need to learn how to control your tongues.”

One maid scoffed and placed her hands on her hips. “Excuse me?” she responded back. “What the hell is your problem?!”

Jungseol exhaled angrily and tried to calm herself down.

“Oh, right,” another maid said with a sly smile. “You’re the Princess’ maid, aren’t you?”

The third maid began to laugh. “No wonder you’re so upset,” she added. “Such a pity for you to be assigned to Her Majesty.” She scoffed. “I mean, she is such a hogger, right? First, she seduced that commoner, and now she’s getting married.” The young girl smirked. “She even has that handsome bodyguard that you like under her hands.”

The trio of maids laughed together like they were enjoying a nice performance.

Jungseol didn’t bother to lower her angry gaze at them. She breathed heavily and made a fist with her empty hand. What the three maids stated about Yeonhwa wasn’t what bothered her - it was how they spoke of her that sounded so revolting. “Shut your mouth,” she said quietly.

The maids blinked at her in surprise and took some steps closer. “What did you just say?” one girl asked, although she heard clearly.

Jungseol kept quiet, but she didn’t stop glaring at them.

“Say it again,” the second maid said once she was in front of Jungseol. She pushed her shoulder with her fingers. “Huh? Say it again.”

Jungseol stumbled back and dropped the bin to the ground.

Another maid stepped ahead of the other and came close to Jungseol. “You think just because you’re the Princess’ maid, you’re all that special and tough?” She pushed the girl again, a bit harder this time.

Jungseol made a whimpering noise as she almost lost her balance and stepped backwards. She breathed deeply and looked at them. “At least I don’t let my mouth run forever like the river. Who knows where I’ll end up with trash my mouth?” The next response wasn’t words but a harsh slap to the face. She gasped and suddenly collapsed, causing her to fall bottom firs