Hyuna left the school building as fast as possible when the school bell rang. She was avoiding everyone for today since she wasn’t in the mood to talk. She got into her car and drove herself to the dance studio. After what happened for the last few days had made her forgot about the practice and the shows that she will perform with Yixing. It was bearable that Yixing doesn’t mind her practicing on her own for the time being. Sometimes, she felt as if the old Yixing is back but whenever she looked into his eyes, she knew the old Yixing was way long gone.

She parked at her usual spot and grabbed her bag with her. As soon as she got off the car, she put her hoodie on. She knows lately that her best friends had paid some spies to check on her every moves. Sometimes that Jiwon kid can exaggerate but anything can happen.. she thought to herself.

After entering her usual dancing studio, she put on her shoes and started to warm up with some music. Her body was doing well but not her mental. She was physically there but her mental wasn’t. From the mirror, she could see how deadly she was. The dark circles under her eyes were obvious and her face was pale. Hyuna thought she was alive with all of these things coming to an end but it was vice versa. The closer the ending, she was closer to her own death.

Ignoring her own health, she began practicing the homework that Yixing had gave her. She learned all the small moves and the details as she tried to mix it with her own style as well. She was quite amazed that Yixing did the girl part on his own as well. No matter that girl desperately wanted Yixing to come with her to Beijing.. The old memories of the past began to play at the back of her head.

The day that Yixing and her fought was something she wanted to forget but, Jesus Christ. That very scene was the reason she couldn’t sleep happily at nights and sincerely be happy with Yixing. As time passed, she realized how unhappy she was for the past months. What was inside her head during all this time? Why didn’t she realize it earlier?

Without herself noticing, tears were falling from her eyes like waterfall. She stopped dancing and dropped to the floor, crying silently. She doesn’t want anyone to hear her. No, she doesn’t want anyone to know how miserable she was at that moment. All of the sudden, all of the sadness rushed down on her as fast as the bullet train, as painful as thousands of needles poking her body from every possible angles. It was unbearable and she wore she heard voices in her head telling her how unworthy she was and she deserved to die.

This was what she scared of. Depression. Anxiety. Panic attacks. She knew how these things could eat someone alive and she doesn’t want that to happen. She wanted to be happy with the man whom she loves with all of her heart, or she thought she was. Questions popped inside her head like those annoying advertisement pop-ups.

For so many reasons, she couldn’t seem to have the sense of control of her body anymore. From her eyes, she could see her hands reaching for the pockets of her bag, searching rather hastily for something. She wanted a release and she needed fast. After digging for sometimes, she realized what was the things she wanted; a knife. Never did she remember grabbing a pocket knife inside her bag all this time.

The thing was, she couldn’t stopped herself at all. Crying, she watched as the knife cut deep into her skin. Blood trickled down her white, milky skin and dropped to the floor. Once she grabbed the reality, she threw the knife across the room. Her arm stung in unbearable pain. Without thinking any further, she quickly packed her bag and left the room.

“Hello, Hyuna?”

“Oh, it’s me.. we need to talk, Hyomin. I’m in bad condition.”

“I’ll be there. Where are you?”

“Hanbin’s cafe. Don’t yell. Jiwon is not around,”

There was a long, heavy sigh on the other line. “Fine. Stay put,” and by the older ended the call.

After several minutes, Hyomin arrived at the cafe and Hyuna saw her when she entered the cafe. Hyomin was wearing her normal crop top and black skinny with a cap on. She was dazzling. No wonder Jongin fell head over heels with her. Thanks to her sharp eye-sight, she spot Hyuna in mere seconds and quickly ran toward her.

“Ya, What happened?” was the first thing she said once she sat down on the chair across the younger girl. Hyuna looked at her and Hyomin’s expression changed almost an instant. “Oh my god, Hyuna. Please tell me you didn’t,” she said, almost sound as if she was pleading. Hyuna looked down and played with her sleeves. The older girl, closed her eyes and exhaled deeply. “We really need to send you to the rehab again if you’re going mental like this,”

Hyuna was shocked when she heard that from Hyomin. She wasn’t like this before. She was always the sweetest and would never, ever, say something like that. That was too harsh. Hyomin crossed her arms and stared at Hyuna. “You know things are going bad around and yet, you became this selfish little anger ball and expect that people would.. grow up Hyuna. Grow up,” Hyomin spat more harsh comments toward her.

“I thought you would comfort me..”

“I know. I think I would too but, have you heard? Thanks to you everyone are talking about all of us. They searched on our past. They are bringing us down and not you and Yixing. I have to pass this school, Hyuna. I have dreams and goals to achieve. You know well about Yixing too. We all want to become artists when we finish school. But you, you’re being in the way. You’re bringing us all down with you. I know that you don’t want any of this. I know that you are sick-”

“Stop. Please just stop… I’m begging you,” Hyuna begged, as she began to cry.

“No, you have to listen. Don’t be a drag queen will you? Snap out of it. You’re in the ing reality and everyone has their-”

“Didn’t she tell you stop? No, didn’t she beg you to stop?” a man’s voice approached from Hyuna’s back. Her breath stopped for a moment there because she knew who was behind her. It was no other than Kim Jiwon.. Hyomin glared at him but once she realized who he was, she became timid. “You told me that he was not around,” she hissed at Hyuna. Hyuna stared at her mug in guilt. Jiwon held both of her shoulders and squeezed it softly, a gesture to tell her that he got the situation under control.

“She told me to go but I insist to stay because I know what will happen if I go,” Jiwon said coldly. Hyomin darted her gaze at him. Jiwon raised an eyebrow in a cocky manner just to piss her off even more. “What do you know about Hyuna. You weren’t even there when needed someone,” she tried to get him back but that statement only made the man to scoff. “Oh, I know her more than you do, Hyomin-ssi. I was always there and will always be there for her. You may not know-” “Jiwon, don’t.” Hyuna pulled on his arm, desperately.

Hyomin looked at her best friend and then back to Jiwon. “What?”

Hyuna sighed and stood up. “I’m moving out from your apartment.” she said. Hyomin was shocked. Jiwon was too. “You can see me at school. Or never because…” Hyuna lifted her gaze at Hyomin and tears dropped. “I hate you. If you know me better than Jiwon, you won’t say that. Ever.” Hyuna grabbed Jiwon’s arm and left the cafe, leaving her best friend, or should we say, her ex-best friend.

Jiwon didn’t know how to react with the whole situation so he just followed her. The two of them got into Hyuna’s car and she hit the steering so hard, he thought her hand broke. “Hyuna…” was the only word he could processed in his brain at the moment and nothing else. “I’m moving in with you,”

-

Yixing settled down all his diaries on the table and picked up his phone. Baekhyun’s number was on the screen. He wanted to call him for more information but he realized that it will only made him looked like a fool. It was such a good thing that he was the kind of person who writes journal almost everyday without skipping. Well, maybe some days. From all of the diaries that he found, he managed to recall some of the memories that were gone for the past months.

He learned that he was really determined to go to Beijing and was very happy when he met Luyi. In the diary, it stated that Luyi’s faster was interested to bring him into the company due to his overload of talents during one of the performances that he performed for the school. He said also that Yixing would make it big in China. Other than that, he also learned that he was in love with his own best friend, Hyuna. The thing that they had when they young, how she always attracts his attention. Ah, no wonder the kiss made my heart best so fast..he said to himself, recalling the memories when they kissed after their jump.

For some reasons, his brain may not remember anything but his body does and that helped a lot. It was still such a shame how he gave his V card to Seolhyun. He also learned that the three of them; Seolhyun, him and Hyuna used to be great friends. Everyone in the house knows how Hyuna love Yixing, he does too but he tends to ignore it because of the goals in life that he had set up. That was why he had a hard time on deciding on whether he will go to Beijing to pursue his career and leave Hyuna who entered the school because of him or leave Beijing and work his off for more years to achieve what he could achieve in less than 2 years.

Yixing pressed the home button and dialed Luhan’s number instead. It’s better if he talks with someone that could professionally deal with his mood swings. Baekhyun can help but he tends to make thing worst at times. So, it’s not really a good idea to actually invite him in.

“Oh, it’s me. Can I come over? Really? Ah, okay.. I’ll be there,”

Without any hesitation, Yixing grabbed his coat and quickly rode his motorbike to the bar that Luhan. What Luhan said was right. This progression hurts his head and heart a lot. However, the faster he wants to know, the more pain he had to endure the pain. He wanted his old self back and treat Hyuna like how he treated her before. He cant let her go.

Once he entered the bar, he spot Luhan almost instantly. Well, who else have orange hair other than the deer himself?   

Yixing took a seat beside Luhan and ordered some cocktail for himself. It took him sometimes to actually speak something. “I think I had figured it all out,” he finally said as his liquor was being served. Luhan raised an eyebrow at the sudden confession. “Already? You’re very determined,” he said, shrugging and took a sip on his drink. “I don’t know. I feel as if I hasn’t reach my goal yet. I want to be cure hundred percent so I can live again.” he continued.

“Hyuna.. is getting weirder these days and it honestly bothers me. I still have things to figure out something. I could smell something fishy around here. I don’t think she only keep one thing from me.” that made Luhan sat straight up, getting interested with the story. Yixing continued. “Few days ago, I saw her with Jiwon. They don’t seem like just friends. I sensed something about them. The way they looked at each other. It left a hole in my heart. Thus, Baekhyun seemed so pissed off when he saw that dude.”

Yixing clenched onto the glass tightly. “I think we all are turning into psychos,”

To Be Continued. 

A/N: sorry that i couldnt update frequently! i will try update twice a week. i still need some times to get use with my current life lmao ! i love you all! thank you for reading!!