Courage
Can I?A/N: Please Read ~ There is a music link in this fic near the bottom. I highly advise you to press play and listen while reading, it's there for a reason, ya know. ^.^ I'm a noob, so it's simply a youtube embed made small xD Don't watch the video and just listen ok. lol. Hope you enjoy the read. Comments and feedback are much appreciated!
Teenagers can be cruel beings, Jongin concluded. It would be so much better if he weren’t considered one of the cruel ones. It wasn't his fault that all his friends are douchebags, or that they chose to hang around him, and he simply accepted their presence. Now he was stuck within this popular crowd saturated with arrogant and repulsive teens. Jongin wasn’t always like this. Before high school, he was rather warm and considerate. However, after entering the ninth grade, everything changed, and now that he was finally in his last year, he couldn’t wait for it to be over.
The students both loved him and hated him for the personality they thought he possessed. If they paid closer attention, they’d realize Jongin never harmed anyone. He’d watch his friends torment the unpopular, antisocial nerds who had done absolutely nothing to deserve such mockery. He never physically partook in the bullying. Jongin figured that if he wasn’t harming anyone with his bare hands, then it shouldn’t be his problem. He had always been quiet and kept to himself, and those were the traits many others found intriguing. Jongin was an absolute mystery to his peers due to his lack of opinion and his aloof, contemplative aura. He’d rarely converse with anyone inside their infamous clique of s unless he was spoken to. It never bothered the others, though. They simply assumed that he was quiet by nature and his silence was what made him so cool.
The girls swooned over Jongin’s looks daily and he loathed their open staring. Wherever he went, he’d be the center of attention and the feeling of being desired grew stale long ago. He yearned to talk to the one person in the entire school who ignored him. Ironically, the one person who shared his aloof nature, and this intrigued him. He was a small boy with plush lips and round eyes. The boy’s name, he came to find out one day, was Kyungsoo and he had been known around school for being the number one teacher’s pet and a perpetual geek.
Despite such knowledge, Jongin could never forget watching that boy a few months ago. Kyungsoo was presumably on his way home when Jongin passed him on his motorcycle. He slowed his bike down and noticed a tan box on the sidewalk, but paid it no mind. The same couldn’t be said for the nerd; Kyungsoo knelt to the ground beside the cardboard box, and he reached inside, removing two kittens, one in each palm. He snuggled the furry beings in his arms and embraced them as if they were fragile artifacts. To say the sight was incredibly cute would be an understatement. From that day forth his eyes constantly searched for the boy, and he’d watch him closely and intently.
The longer he observed the shorter boy, the deeper his feeling toward him became. Not only was Kyungsoo physically attractive, he also possessed many personality traits that Jongin found to be irresistible. Kyungsoo was caring, he’d bring two extra lunches for his friends in case they had forgotten theirs. He was also passionate when it came to singing. Jongin happened to chance upon Kyungsoo practicing for a school recital, and he could have sworn he’d heard an angel. Kyungsoo’s voice was velvety and smooth, and he sang with his emotions, allowing them to seep through every lyric. Jongin would stop by the practice room every other day to listen, and it formed into a habit quicker than he’d like to admit.
It brightened Jongin’s day when he’d see Kyungsoo in the hallway or during lunch period. The nerd would sit with his two friends and occasionally a smile would adorn his features. On those days, Jongin would smile instead of his usual scowl. However, he’d quickly change his expression because he was known for a persistent neutral face.
It was in moments like these when he wished people didn’t categorize him. These moments where it was difficult to maintain a nonchalant attitude, when rage grew ferociously deep within him.
“Get up you !” his friend Kris commanded after firmly pushing the boy on the ground. Jongin could only look away from the horrible scene, for he didn’t wish to see the one person he liked getting bullied.
“I said get up!” Kris yelled, garnering attention from the students in the hallway.
Kyungsoo sat on the tiled floor, his arms folded over his stomach where he had been brutally pushed. The books and notepads he once held littered the ground in a complete disarray. He felt his lips begin to tremble and his words were caught in his throat. Apparently, his lack of movement served to piss Kris off even more, and the bully picked him up from the ground by the collar. His back came in contact with the lockers at an alarming rate, causing him to groan from the sharp pain. The glasses atop of his nose went askew and nearly fell from his face.
“So I hear you’re going out with that Baekhyun kid. He’s a ing queer too.” Kris spat with venom in his tone. Kyungsoo whimpered when Kris slammed his fist on the locker directly next to his head.
“B-Baekhyun isn’t g-gay.” Kyungsoo whispered as he attempted to straighten his glasses with shaky fingers. The piercing stares from the crowding students made it hard for him to breathe. It felt as though he were caged and put on display for the world to mock and scorn.
“Huh? I can’t hear you.” Kris said as he turned his head and cupped a hand behind his ear feigning to have bad hearing.
“Baekhyun isn’t gay.” Kyungsoo said much louder, conviction seeping into his words. Kris laughed in his face and so did everyone else in the packed hallway. The only quiet one within the horde of merciless teens was Jongin.
“That’s right, because you’re the only gay piece of in this school, and you should know your place.” Kris said before giving him a final shove on the shoulder.
After Kris left, Jongin turned to face Kyungsoo and was met with eyes of pure despondency. Kyungsoo stared directly at him, but he wasn’t looking at Jongin. He could tell that Kyungsoo wasn’t mentally there and his eyes were empty, void of all emotions. It hurt him to the pits of his soul that Kyungsoo, someone so warm and affectionate, could garner such an expression as dreary as the one before him. Jongin felt like a gigantic coward. He was a coward. He loathed the person he had become since high school, a person who didn’t have the fortitude to stand up for what’s right. Instead, he willingly allowed others to lead him along a route of corruption. He hated himself and he wanted to change.
“Soo, are you alright?” Junmyeon called from outside the bathroom stall. He could hear the faint sobs and harsh sniffs from behind the door.
“I’m fine, I just want to be alone.” Kyungsoo’s voice cracked pitifully and he began to cry even harder.
“Open the door Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun spoke up, “come on, let us in.” he and Junmyeon shared knowing glances because this has happened numerous times before. After being bullied in front of everyone, Kyungsoo would isolate himself in the bathroom until the end of the day. Baekhyun wished he could be there to stick up for him but he had never been around when the bullying occurred. It was maddening, the amount of torment Kyungsoo had to endure alone and it made him feel like such a failure as a friend. However, even with no one to defend him, Kyungsoo held no ill-will against anyone and always tried his best to show Baekhyun and Junmyeon that he would always be there for them.
“Jongin was there…,” Kyungsoo whispered. Baekhyun and Jumyeon both sighed heavily. They knew of Kyungsoo’s crush on the most detached guy in school. Kyungsoo had silently liked Jongin for four years and hadn’t once acted on his feelings. It was difficult for him to confront his emotions in fear that he would be rejected. “he wasn’t watching like always. He never looks at me, even when I’m getting bullied.”
“Jongin doesn’t care about anyone Soo, you know that.” Baekhyun said, giving the door a slight push. To his and Junmyeon's surprise, the door opened, slowly revealing a broken Kyungsoo without glasses, a swollen bottom lip and red, puffy eyes. Fresh trails of wet tears streamed down Kyungsoo’s face when he lifted his head and saw his friends. He felt pathetic. It was as though he were a masochist, yearning for attention from the guy he liked, even during his darkest moments.
Kyungsoo knew Jongin was different than his other classmates. He had a knack for seeing people for who they really are. The enigmatic boy was putting on a brave front, a facade, and Kyungsoo realized that he was simply doing what he thought was best to get by. Underneath the surface, he could sense Jongin’s true nature of kindness and compassion. He longed for Jongin to look at him, to see him and maybe converse with him. Kyungsoo would initiate a conversation if he could, but the embarrassment and the humiliation of being weak and passive wouldn’t allow him. Not to mention the horde of bullies that surrounded Jongin at all times. They would pounce on the chance to torture Kyungsoo if he’d shown any interest in Jongin. His biggest fear was that Jongin would eventually join in and that his facade would become his reality.
“Come on Soo, let’s skip school and get some ice cream.” Junmyeon said with a small smile, knowing that it would cheer him up. It was the small things that his friends did that made him forget the pain of his torment and revel in the warmth of their friendship. They were like his family. Kyungsoo instantly nodded his head in agreement and rubbed his eyes to rid himself of the tears. Before leaving the restroom, he made sure his appearance was acceptable and no one could tell that he had been crying. When he stepped out into the hallway, his steps came to an abrupt halt. Jongin stood blatantly staring at him and it made Kyungsoo stiffen with nervousness. All he could do was return the stare before Jongin decided to walk away. It was a short moment of recognition, but to Kyungsoo it meant more than Jongin would ever know.
At the ice cream parlor, they each ordered their favorite ice cream before taking a seat at one of the small round tables.
“Are you guys excited about the senior prom tomorrow?” Baekhyun asked.
“Of course! I got my tux fitted weeks ago. I can’t wait!” Junmyeon said, “What about you, Soo?”
“I don’t know if I want to go, I mean...why should I? It’s not like I have a date. Should I look forward to getting my kicked in a suit?” Kyungsoo said as he hung his head low, examining the floor.
“You have us silly, we’re your dates duh! Don’t worry, everyone will be caught up in the night. They won’t have time to bully anyone.” I beg to differ, Kyungsoo thought bitterly, but Baekhyun and Junmyeon were so excited, he couldn’t bear to shut them down like that. Baekhyun playfully nudged his shoulder and Kyungsoo chortled briefly. “Just come with us. We’ll eat the food and make fun of people’s clothes. You know how everyone likes to go all out for prom.” Kyungsoo could only roll his eyes at his friend. Baekhyun's words were extremely hypocritical considering he spent a small fortune on his tux and even more money on dying his hair blonde just for the occasion. As much as Baekhyun wanted to convince others of his laid-back approach, Kyungsoo could see right through his facade.
“We’ll have fun alright. Forget about the bullies, me and Baekhyun will be there. It’ll be fine.” Junmyeon said as he placed a comforting hand on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. A waiter approached their table with their desserts, and Baekhyun and Junmyeon both stared at the mountain of ice cream that Kyungsoo had ordered. It was a humongous sundae, filled to the brim with syrup, sprinkles, cherries, peanuts and whipped cream. Kyungsoo dismissively shrugged and dug into his food. The other two giggled as they watched Kyungsoo’s face brighten with a smile. They liked it when he smiled, it meant everything was going to be alright.
“Kyungsoo hurry up! You’re going to make us late.” Baekhyun called from outside of Kyungsoo’s bedroom door.
“Just a minute, I’m almost done.” Kyungsoo’s muffled voice said. Baekhyun wondered what he could be doing in there. Moments after his thought, the door swung open revealing a disheveled Kyungsoo. The hair atop of his head was sticking out in various directions, and his shirt was untucked along with the outrageous choice of shoes that weren't even a pair.
“I'm ready.” Kyungsoo said with a satisfied smile.
“No, you are not.” Baekhyun brought his index finger to Kyungsoo’s forehead and pushed him back inside. “I refuse to let you go to prom looking like this. Let's figure out something quick, Junmyeon is waiting in the car.”
As Baekhyun rummaged through his closet, Kyungsoo slumped on the edge of his bed with a pout on his lips. He didn’t care about his appearance for the stupid dance. It wasn’t like he had a date, and no one would be looking at him or attempting to dance with him. Kyungsoo simply wanted the night to be over already.
“Aha!” Baekhyun held up a black blazer along with a navy dress shirt, “put these on, and then we’ll work on that mess you call hair.” Kyungsoo reluctantly snatched the clothes from his palm, “Touchy, touchy.” Baekhyun sing-songed. Kyungsoo rolled his eyes.
Once Kyungsoo redressed himself, he was told to sit on the toilet seat as Baekhyun styled his hair. It took all of fifteen minutes for him to finish. He claimed it a masterpiece and demanded that Kyungsoo calls him ‘la baek de la hyun’ instead of ‘la crème de la crème.’ Kyungsoo almost cried laughing because the name sounded so unbearably stupid. He stood from the toilet to go look at this so-called ‘masterpiece’ and his eyes grew large. What was that name again? Because Kyungsoo saw the magic ‘la baek de la hyun’ had done, and he was sold. Baekhyun stood with his chest pushed outward waiting on the compliment he knew would come.
“Good job,” Kyungsoo said as he applied his glasses, the final touch to go along with his new and improved look. Two seconds passed before Baekhyun pulled them from his face. “Hey! Give that back! I need those!” Kyungsoo yelled.
“No you don’t,” Baekhyun gave him an unamused expression, “Jun and I know that you have perfect vision,” Kyungsoo could only mouth ‘oh’ in response. He wasn’t aware that his friends knew that much about him. “Why do you wear these anyway?” Baekhyun tried the spectacles on for good measure and saw no difference.
“It’s kind of silly.” Kyungsoo attempted to nonchalantly dismiss the topic, hoping his friend would drop the subject. However, he knew better than to hope, well aware that hoping had gotten him nowhere thus far.
“Try me.” Baekhyun said sternly, letting Kyungsoo know this topic wasn’t getting dropped any time soon.
“When I wear them, I feel like I’m watching the world through lenses. And whenever something bad happens, it’s not like it’s happening to me. It’s almost like I’m watching it happen to someone else: the person that’s wearing the glasses. I know it’s silly, but don’t laugh.” Kyungsoo couldn’t conjure enough courage to look Baekhyun in the eye after saying such embarrassing words.
“That’s anything but silly. Oddly enough, I understand.”
“Really?”
“Really,” Baekhyun grinned. “but tonight you’re going to experience everything yourself as Do Kyungsoo, got that?” Kyungsoo nodded. “Let's go. Mama Jun will probably be angry. You know he sprayed cologne on his clothes eight times on the ride over here. Something about smelling fresh all the time.” They both laughed as they left the house, heading toward the vehicle out front.
Jongin never fully understood the hype surrounding prom, it was just like any other dance. He haphazardly bobbed his head in unison with the bass resounding from the cheap speakers and twirled a can of soda in his hand. The night was dull so far, and he wished it would end sooner rather than later. Well, he couldn’t claim the night a total dud, due to a girl who threw her drink in Chanyeol's face when he tried to touch her . Jongin got a nice chuckle out of that one. His friends were tipsy and shamelessly hitting on every girl that walked by. It was similar to watching werewolves in heat.
His eyes scoured the auditorium where the makeshift dance floor was made. He had to admit, the decorations were pretty incredible and they even bought a huge disco ball. Yet, he didn’t come here to see the pricey embellishments or witness Sehun spike the punch bowl. He only wanted to see one person tonight, and it would make everything else worth it.
When his eye fell upon Kyungsoo, a small smirk graced his features. Kyungsoo looked absolutely ravishing with his hair styled back and the subtle difference in the black from navy worked well with the tone of his skin. The dim lighting in the room made him glow amongst the crowd, but the most noticeable thing was his smile. Jongin would do anything to see that expression up close.
“Soo, look at that girl right there," Baekhyun pointed his finger, "what’s with all those colors? Is she a peacock?” They all exploded in laughter.
“Wait, what about her dress? Can she even breathe? I think she has a girdle on.” Junmyeon said.
“I’m highly impressed with your vocabulary, I didn’t even know you knew what a girdle was.” Baekhyun said and Junmyeon raised his hand threatening to hit him. Kyungsoo giggled at their antics. He was happy to have these two as friends, they truly brightened up his weary days and always tried to make him laugh. He appreciated their efforts greatly.
“I’ll be back. I’m going to get us something to drink.” Junmyeon said and he took his leave. Baekhyun quickly followed after him to warn him that the punch might be spiked. Kyungsoo amusingly shook his head, he stayed in his spot and subtly swayed to the music.
This was the opportunity of a lifetime for Jongin. There Kyungsoo stood all alone and he could start a conversation with the crowd of students as a cover. He asked himself in that moment if he had the right to approach Kyungsoo after all of his cowardly actions, but he couldn’t allow pity to keep him from the only good thing he’d found in high school. He had to mentally pump himself up for his upcoming mission. It was either swim or drown, but Jongin felt as though he was barely staying afloat even with the aid of floaties. He decisively chugged the rest of his drink and tossed the can in the trash bin, ready to embark on his quest. As Jongin was about to leave, he heard Kris’s voice pierce through the crowd.
“Aye, there’s that Kyungsoo !” Kris yelled over the blaring music, breaking Jongin’s concentration. Jongin had prayed to the heavens that Kris would overlook Kyungsoo, and his need for alcohol and would occupy his attention for the entire night. However, his prayers went unanswered as Kris treaded toward Kyungsoo like a lion ready to pounce on its prey. Kyungsoo stood oblivious to his impending encounter on the other side of the spacious gym, and Jongin knew he needed to intervene.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s time to announce our King and Queen.” The principal Mr. Lee projected into a microphone as he stood on a portable stage with two cards in his hand. Jongin could care less about who won that superficial election, and he quickly began to follow behind Kris.
“Our 2016 Prom Queen is -- Kim Taeyeon!” The crowd roared with applause and whistles for their Queen as she received her tiara. “And now, for our 2016 Prom King -- Kim Jongin!” Jongin immediately halted his steps. What? He heard his name, but what for? A sharp light spied down on him and he nearly went blind from it’s brightness.
“Jongin, come to the stage.” The man said. Jongin cursed beneath his breath, this was not happening now of all times. He had no choice but to go on the stage to receive his crown. Jongin stood on the platform, obviously impatient and annoyed. When the principal placed the crown atop of his raven hair, a blaring crash interrupted the ceremony, and the clamor of students escalated rapidly signaling that something had happened.
Of course it was Kris and his usual ry. He had shoved Kyungsoo and the shorter boy stumbled back from the force, but Kris didn’t stop there. He then proceeded to curse at Kyungsoo calling him various vulgar names before harshly pushing him onto the floor. Kyungsoo tumbled to the ground with a loud thump and his lips began to tremble like before. He swore to himself, that the next time this happened, he wouldn’t allow Kris to get away with it. But who was he kidding? He didn’t have the courage to stand up for himself, let alone the strength to fight him fairly and win. His efforts would be essentially futile if he did attempt to fight back. The students amassed around the incident doing nothing to help the boy as per usual.
As Jongin laid eyes on the scene before him, his thoughts became a jumbled mess. A battle surfaced within him regarding whether he should stay in place or run to Kyungsoo’s aid. The crowd only grew in radius while he stood anxiously and indecisively on the stage.
Amidst his ongoing confliction, a slow tune began to flow through the entire auditorium. Jongin decided then that it was his time to make a move, and he couldn’t wait a second longer. It was now or never.
Take my hand, take a breath
Pull me close and take one step
His footsteps grew from hesitant paces to resolute strides as he weaved through the horde of teens. When the other students noticed Jongin walking toward the scene, they parted like a sea, allowing him to pass through. Everyone watched on bated breaths when Jongin came to a stop directly before Kyungsoo. Jongin held out both of his hands toward him, and Kyungsoo’s eyes grew large in surprise. He was skeptical at first and couldn’t believe this was happening, but he took a leap of faith and carefully placed his palms in Jongin’s.
Their hands melded together perfectly as though they were meant for each other. Jongin lifted him gently from the ground with ease and Kyungsoo’s cheeks flushed a pink hue in embarrassment. Jongin smiled at him for the very first time, and it was the most beautiful thing Kyungsoo had ever seen.
Jongin could die from overbearing happiness in knowing that he had finally gained the courage to approach his crush. It took him longer than he expected, but he made it this far and he was proud of himself. Tonight, it was only him and Kyungsoo in the world and no one else mattered. With a look of affection, Jongin held out his right hand and let the music be his guide.
So can I have this dance (Can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance
Kyungsoo shyly nodded his head before taking his hand once again, and they began swaying to the melody. They immersed themselves within each other’s eyes and everyone else in the room was long forgotten. Kyungsoo gazed deeply into Jongin’s almond-shaped orbs, discerning the plethora of emotions held within them. He understood then that his feelings toward Jongin were reciprocated, and it made his heart expand tremendously. He felt tears swell in his eyes.
And you can't keep us apart (even a thousand miles, can't keep us apart)
'Cause my heart is (cause my heart is) wherever you are
As they continued moving along the arranged notes, Jongin hadn’t noticed the single tear streaming down his cheek until the pad of Kyungsoo’s thumb swiped his face. He smiled coyly, and Kyungsoo returned the loving gesture with a heart-shaped beam that reached his eyes, causing them to form small crescents. Nothing in the universe could have prepared Jongin for such a precious smile. A breath caught in Jongin’s lungs, and he could faint from the beauty. That gorgeous smile was enchanting, utterly magical and endearingly sweet, just like Kyungsoo.
So can I have this dance (Can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance
While they continued dancing, the other students stared at the scene in complete awe. No words were exchanged as everyone watched the couple dance in the middle of the crowd. Even though this dance was specifically for the King and Queen, no one complained. Gradually, everyone started moving to the dance floor to join the two. They filed out in pairs, with smiles of tenderness and laughs filled with joy. Kris looked upon the crowd and shook his head. He stomped out of the gym wanting to forget this whole ordeal.
Baekhyun and Junmyeon shared looks of astonishment which soon stirred into happiness. They were beyond ecstatic for Kyungsoo. Two discernible yells of ‘hell yea’ made Kyungsoo and Jongin laugh. They turned their heads and saw Baekhyun and Junmyeon whooping and hollering in elation. Kyungsoo felt the tears he had been holding in for so long begin to roll down his cheeks.
Jongin cupped his face with both of his palms and used his thumbs to wipe his tears. Their eyes locked in a passionate gaze, and as if they could read each other’s mind, they gravitated toward the other. When Jongin felt those plush lips against his, he knew that Kyungsoo was the one, and he would never let him go.
Being able to see Jongin’s face himself, without glasses was nothing short of amazing. He’d have to thank Baekhyun later when the dance was over. For now, he allowed himself to cuddle in Jongin’s warm embrace as they danced the rest of the night away.
Can I have this dance
A/N Cont: Cheesy I knowwwww >.< but I came across this song two days ago and it has been so long! I just couldn't resist, a scene popped into my head and then BAM!
I wrote it. xD
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