Chapter 18

Creeping In Your Heart
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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN; IN THEIR MINDS.

Banging and crashing, that's what he could hear, it smacked into his eardrums and forced the muscles of his face into a wince. He hated loud noises like this, he hated the yelling that came with it. His back against the wall couldn't give him enough space to sit without his knees pulled to his chest. Tears were running down his cheeks in hot trails and he covered his ears, trying to block out the sounds. There was a smack on the door that he was hiding behind and his breath hitched, he didn't want them to know this is where he was. They had already found him in this very place once before, but he made sure to move to different hiding spots all the time, he pleaded to the heavens above that they believed he had done the same thing again, that they would go and scan every nook and cranny in the house and get too impatient or tired before they found him. He clasped his hands together, biting down on his lip to stop any whimpers or wines from being let out, he didn't want to be found, not when he had been in this hiding place for so long, if they found him now it would just be worse, he wanted them to move on, not be able to find him and forget about it until the next time they got mad at him.

"You're the one that wouldn't let me throw him away!" There was another muffled smack on the door and he believed they were leaving, maybe one of them had pushed the other against the door, it wasn't foreign for them to get violent towards each other either, he had seen it and heard it happen weekly, praying that they wouldn't turn on him and drag him into their mess.

"You're the one that impregnated me with the vile thing! You deserve to deal with it. Take responsibility for what you've done to ruin my life!" Why couldn't they just leave each other? Why couldn't they get a divorce and have him sent away? Why did he believe that living in hiding like this was easier than going to the adoption center himself? Finding somewhere on the streets for himself to stay until he could earn money? Why did this torture seem better? He hid away and snuck around as quietly as a mouse to earn food the same way he would have to if he were living on the streets. It was cold in the empty room he lived in, just like it would be on the streets, so what made this look easier?

"You're the one that kept it! Why don't you find it and punish it for once? Why do I always have to be wasting my time doing it?"

"Kim Jongin get out here now!" Jongin flinched, his whole body feeling fear racking through it, even his legs that had gone numb could feel it, he bit down on his lip harder, focusing on the pain it caused him instead of listening to the thunderous noise taking place outside of the closet he was hiding inside of. His eyes were clenched shut and he tried to act as if he weren't even there, as if there were someplace better and wherever it was, he was there.

"Wherever you are boy, you better hope I don't find you!"

A sharp intake of breath and his body jolting forward, that's what it took to snap Kai out of his nightmare, out of his own memories, ones that were following him to this very day, physically and mentally. His wide eyes scaled around the room, making sure he was safe and out of harm's way. Once he was sure he wasn't in a closet curled up and he was aware that he was in his room, the lamp beside the bed on the table lighting up the space, he focused on evening his breaths out to be steady once again. He pushed the covers away, it was too hot now, there was sweat taking over his body and he could feel it on his scalp as he pushed the hair back from his face, lips open to allow air in and out being dampened by his tongue, bringing moisture back to them again. Kai fell back on the bed, he was tired, but he was wide awake now. There was no way he was going to be able to get back to sleep after having another one of those dreams, it was still replaying in his mind as he stared up at the ceiling, getting more vivid when he blinked and could only see the back of his eyelids. The air in his room was cold, but he couldn't really feel it, not when his body was so warm and his clothes were tangled up from kicking around under the covers. He felt a bead of sweat running down his temple and he lazily rose a hand to wipe it away, looking towards the window to his room with a turn of his head.

The curtain was closed, obscuring his sight from what was on the other side. There was still a shake in his limbs and a tremble in his fingers that grasped at the bedding beneath him, grounding him to his room and reminding him of where he was. His heart was pumping against his chest, he could feel it beating heavily in the same way it always did after one of those dreams, a reaction of his that never seemed to change. It was silent, nothing but white noise around him that allowed to hear his own breathing, his own heart thumping within his chest at a pace that was still too quick for his liking. Kai looked away from the window, angling his head towards the ceiling again and closing his eyes, waiting for sleep to return to him through the slither of good luck, but it didn't come, just like every other night, he was left lying on his bed, his sweat drying away until the cold air in the room was apparent and he had to cover himself with the blankets again.

And he stayed wide awake just like he did most other nights.

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The room seemed bigger than any other, only because it was lacking in the materials that the other room held, bare, minimalistic, he preferred for the things around him to be this way, to not be complicated and easy on the eyes when he were to look around. He liked when things were in sight, when he didn't have to dive deeper into things to find other things. He liked space and being alone in a wide space, taking in the silence and peace it offered him, the privacy it gave and how clean the air felt.

He sat at his desk. He didn't know why it was sitting on his desk, but he didn't mind it this time, sometimes that happened, people left stuff behind or forgotten things made themselves known. He took the forgotten object between his fingers, maybe it wasn't included in the set up of something in the room, maybe the bed or the desk he sat at right then. But he didn't think about it, smiling to himself as he twirled the object, solid but small, capable of holding things and breaking things, he found himself rather liking the look and the thought of the little object between his fingers.

"For want of a nail the shoe was lost, for want of a shoe the horse was lost" He sat it on the desk, letting it roll, pushing it forwards, then pulling it back with the poin

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bebexol
To those waiting for the next chapter, it isn't letting me edit it for some reason so if it doesn't get posted after I finish work tonight then it will be up tomorrow!

Comments

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Dyoooo
#1
Chapter 33: this is such an amazing story, I regret not finding it earlier
SuhoLoverDebo
#2
Chapter 33: Thank you for such an amazing story.. What a twist at the end.. I genuinely believed that it is a dark version of Alice In Wonderland but damn I didn't expected this twist.. Who could have thought that this totally something else.. Your mind is great.. Not saying anything which can spoil the plot ending.. I just loved this story..
Irnbru121
#3
Chapter 28: I'm Really Looking forward to Psycho EXO & how different there personalities are& hoe lee would react to them

Chanyeol is adorable
Sialover #4
I love this story! but please dont feel pressured to write, take your time <3
Lilly2910
#5
Chapter 28: You're not disappointing us!
Take all the time you need, we'll wait patiently for you. Your health and well being is far more important than updating!
Irnbru121
#6
Chapter 23: I do hope this plan goes well and they get tao & luhan Out And there is no Casualties
but sometime not All plans go to plan and something Unsuspectingly bad could happen I hope not
Irnbru121
#7
Chapter 21: lol Suho is A stressed out single mum (jk)
I'm glad Kai And lee Have made up
it was also nice to see a bit of the past and how they got to where they are now and the people they became (:
mh957518
#8
<3<3<3<3
Irnbru121
#9
Chapter 18: my poor poppadom i'm glad lee was there to comfot him Do baekhyun & chen have a Problem with Chanyeol they seem to bully him a little bit
it was nice to see a little bit Of Chanyeols past poor baby
ew burnt skin I was a litte surprised that chanyeol didn't come running to save Lee
its nice to see Luhan and tao in somewhat one piece (: