“W-What?”

Jongin couldn’t believe what he just heard and that could be seen on his face. His eyes were wide open. Both of them held each other’s stares in silence. Areum felt go dry, making it impossible for her to speak for some seconds.

Is this the right thing to do?

She was already asking herself if what she just did was the best choice. There was something about how Jongin was staring at her that made her feel a painful squeeze in her heart. He looked excited and he couldn’t hide that smile on his face. Areum knew that he’s genuinely waiting for an answer.

“Can you repeat what you just said?” Jongin asked, still looking at her with such anticipation.

 “Let’s get married.”

The small smile turned into a full and beaming one. Jongin held Areum’s hand and softly kissed it.

“I know that it’s so sudden but-” Areum started before pausing. She really didn’t know how to explain things to Jongin as of the moment. She lowered her head, trying to hide the tears which were threatening to fall.

“I don’t care if it’s so sudden or not because I know that I want to be with you,” Jongin mumbled. Areum lifted her face, meeting his soft gaze.

“J-Jongin.”

Guilt and conscience was swallowing Areum. Hurrying to get married because of her mother’s condition is such a selfish move and Areum knew that. She couldn’t dare to look at Jongin anymore nor could she bring herself to spill everything for Jongin to understand what’s going on.

“I can’t believe that you brought up getting married just like that. Tell me, you wanted to ask me that sooner, right?” Jongin asked with a playful smile. “You’ve fallen for me so much that you can’t wait for me to propose so you beat me to it,” he continued.

I should tell him now. If this causes any problem between us, I can’t afford to lose him. I don’t want to lose this man.

“Jongin, I-”

“I love you.”

I don’t want to lose him.

Jongin was smiling brightly at her. He caressed her cheek and she shut her eyes, trying to just feel the warmth of his hand. Areum felt like she’s going to cry any time soon. Not wanting to show her tears to him, Areum pulled him closer into a tight hug.

“Hey,” he muttered before chuckling, patting her back. She shook her head.

“This is dangerous. You’ve really fallen hard for me,” he commented, still chuckling.

Why can’t I bring myself to tell him?

“Kim Jongin, I love you.”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Stretching her arms after her long night shift, Areum yawned before looking for her phone which started to ring. Jongin was calling her. Out of nowhere, she felt her stomach churn. Something was already bugging her. Hesitating, Areum reached for her phone and slowly answered it.

“Hey,” she stated with a slight brightness in her voice.

There was a little pause before Jongin spoke. “We need to talk.”

Areum’s heart sunk when she heard his voice. He sounded tired, disappointed and somewhat angry, all at the same time. She swallowed the lump in before nodding.

“Okay.”

“I’m at the rooftop.”

And with that, the line died.

Dragging her feet to the rooftop, Areum’s head was starting to be filled with possible things that Jongin would like to talk to her about.

He was staring blankly at the city when Areum made her ways towards him. Sensing her presence, Jongin turned around and faced her. Areum tried smiling but stopped in the middle because of Jongin’s unexplainable expression.

There’s really something going on and it’s scaring her.

“What do you want to talk about?”

Jongin sighed as if he was controlling himself. He shut his eyes before looking back at her again.

“Do you trust me?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Do you love me?”

“Yes. What is this about? You’re scaring me,” Areum asked in return. Jongin’s maintaining his expression.

“Trust is a two-way street. I’ve been hurt before for trusting a person so much.”

“Jongin, why are you telling me this?”

“I trust you but it looks like you don’t trust me that much. It seems like I’m the only one who-”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Areum asked, cutting him off. She could already feel her cheeks heating up and her tears filling the edge of her eyes.

“Are you only marrying me because of your sick mother? Do you want to show her that you’re going to settle down so that she will not worry about you?” Jongin asked with a shaky voice.

Areum felt like the heavens started crumbling down. Her heart was starting to beat faster and faster.

“That’s not why I-”

“Was I only being played by you all this time? Was I the only one who gave a damn about this relationship? That’s if it’s called a relationship at all. When did you start playing with me? Did I look too naïve because I told you many times that I like you? When did you decide to just accept me just to play a show for your mother?” Was it from the start?” he asked without taking a pause. He looked really pissed off.

Areum was frozen and she felt her hands turning ice cold.

“That’s not what you think it is. I really love you and I’m-”

“STOP!” he roared. She bit her lip and stepped back. Jongin’s furious and he looked like a different person.

“Stop telling me that you love me when you don’t,” he sighed, shaking his head. “I’m done being a character for your play, Lee Areum.”

 And with those words, he walked away without even looking back at her.

Tears started trickling down her cheeks.

“No. That’s not what you think it is.”

“No.”

“No.”

“Doctor Lee.”

“Doctor Lee.”

Areum opened her eyes, startled by someone shaking her arms. She sighed when she realized that everything was a dream. Nurse Goo was staring at her worriedly.

“Are you okay?”

Areum nodded before closing her eyes. Realizing that she really cried, Areum hurriedly brushed her tears away.

“Your phone’s been ringing since a while ago,” Nurse Goo pointed out. Areum looked at her phone and checked her call log. They were all from Jongin. An uncomfortable feeling settled in her stomach. It reminded her of her dream.

“Do you want some coffee?”

Areum shook her head and looked at the younger nurse. “Thank you Sojin,” she said with a small smile. Nurse Goo nodded before taking her leave.

She almost jumped from her seat when her phone suddenly started ringing again.

Kim Jongin – the caller id read.

 “Hello,” she answered after a while.

“We need to talk.”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What does he want to talk about?

Does he already know?

Why is everything happening like that in my dream?

Areum’s head was already filled with questions after Jongin called her an hour ago. When she asked what they’re going to talk about, he gave her a vague answer.

“It’s about us.”

She could feel her head starting to hurt. Shaking her head, she stared going over the charts of her patients. Jongin had the day off and she does not have any idea of his whereabouts as of the moment.

In the middle of flipping the pages, a nurse came rushing towards her and Areum immediately noticed the blood on her hands and on her clothes.

“Doctor Lee, we need you.”

Areum quickly pushed the chart and started running to the emergency room with the nurse.

“Someone stabbed him and left him in an alley,” the paramedics informed her before giving her a quick rundown of the first aid that they gave to the man who was already unconscious. She checked his pul