Chapter 1: This took such an interesting turn! You write beautifully,making sure each detail is there. It was incredibally artisitic and I really admire thenway you write. I wish I could write as intricate and beautifully as you. You may be young but you write almost professionally, almost, it needs a little work but you're close. I'm keeping this story in one of my labels. Congrats, this was a beautiful story.

Chapter 2: This is quite similar to 'The Little Mermaid', but your writing is really good :)