Kris - Confusion

Chasing Rainbows
Please Subscribe to read the full chapter
Kris Confusion

 

Kris' Playlist - 'YOUNG', Baekhyun, Loco - 'Love Song', BIG BANG  - 'Believe It', PARTYNEXTDOOR, Rihanna - 'Butterfly Effect', Travis Scott - 'Here Come the Regrets', Epik High, Lee Hi - 'Emotionless', Drake - 'Eastside', Benny Blanco ft. Halsey, Khalid

 

 

“Do you have any idea of the expenses you’ve costed us since you arrived here Wu Yi Fan?”

“Apart from the usual , I don’t think know. You tell me?”

“This is no time to be witty, young man, if you don’t clean up your act, you’re going to run your trust-fund into the ground.”

“But it’s my money!”

“And we want to make sure you realise how much you’re wasting! It's your future on the line”

“Okay, everyone just take a minute to calm down.”

Kris slouched back in the chair of his family’s accountancy office, his father and mother sat either side of him, silent but tense following the heated argument with their troubled son. The office was a musty, oak-panelled room, dimly lit, with gentle pools of illumination reflecting off of every wooden surface. The chair Kris slumped on was stiff-backed and rigid compared to the soft cushioning of the ones his mother and father sat on. He felt like a kid being placed on the naughty step for misbehaving. Kris struggled to show his best “I don’t care” attitude with such uncomfortable seating, making him give up and attempt to sit normally.

Mr Kang, their family’s long-time, Mandarin-speaking accountant was a man of at least 50, his thinning hair getting greyer by the day and his stress-lines ever growing - probably thanks to all the stress Kris' spending habits had caused him. The steel colour of his hair clashed with his navy suit, his golden cuff links glistening ever so slightly in the dimly lit room. Spread across the heavy desk was a record of the Wu family’s credit and debit spending from the past 6 months – the majority of which, was down to Kris’ reckless spending.

Mr Kang, clearly stressed over the financial issue, sighed and removed his glasses, rubbing his forehead with a handkerchief, “Now Kris, your parents are clearly worried about you. The profits of your Grandfather’s publishing company only gets split a certain amount between your mother and aunt as it is, let alone the amounts given to you and your sister, Song Qian, who lives in Beijing. With your rate of spending, your funds will plummet and you risk going into overdraft on all three of your accounts. Do you have any idea how far that will set you back for?”

Kris groaned, frustrated over the fact that his parents had finally caught him out in trying to buy a new car, and dragged him to this meeting, “A long time?”

Mr Kang nodded, patronising, “Yes Kris, a long time. In fact, not enough time for you to get a stable job and pay off every debt you already owe.”

Kris sighed, running a hand through his sandy-coloured hair. This was just another one of his parents’ ploys into turning Kris into the frugal, tight-fisted banker that his sister, Victoria, was. They'd been grooming him from a very young age to enter the finance industry, with internships he’d been kicked out of, maths challenges he’d won yet not cared about, even design competition prize money from one of China’s biggest banks which he donated to his car fund - Kris had interests and pursuits that would just never amount to his parents’ desires. Was it his fault that the life of banking and endless numbers bore no desire in him?

Cars and engineering was where his future was – he knew it from the very first race track his late uncle had taken him to, to the very first engineering convention he’d attended in Beijing, to the very first F1 race he'd attended. He could still hear his uncle’s voice in his head, as if he were 10 years old and standing beside the test track his uncle had designed the cars for once more – “The future is always in grasp of common men; so long as we can construct and cross the finish line for it. One day, you can create our means of crossing that line, Wu Yi Fan.”

“Are you listening to your mother?” His father scolded him. His face was hard and stern, stoic yet stressed. Kris knew the face too well, not just from the amount of times he was faced with it, but it was a look he himself had inherited.

Kris straightened up, intent on zoning out of his mother’s lecture as per usual, “Sorry, Mother.”

His dark-haired mother, still elegant and youthful despite her age, sighed, the tell-tale signs of anxiety and stress in her eyes and posture. She clasped the handbag on her lap, obviously tense, her voice shaking as she said, “We want you to understand the importance of spending in line with reality, Kris.”

“Then put a cap on my account!” Kris couldn’t help but burst out at the suggestion, resulting in a glare from his Father and a look of disapproval from Mr Kang. He slouched again, defeated yet unwilling to show this frustration wholly.

But his mother turned away from her son, clearly pained by his lack of understanding as she held back tears. Kris felt nothing but guilt for making his mother so hurt in this way, and he felt worse seeing the way her shoulders sank – but if they couldn’t possibly understand him, how could he understand what they were trying to say?

“Son,” his father sighed, tight-voiced and tense still, yet calm nonetheless, “Take a step outside. Allow your mother to compose herself.”

Kris sighed and stood up from his chair. He looked back to his mother before he left the room, guilt overwhelming him at the sight of her shoulders dropping, resting her head in her hands, her world gone astray because of a son she could no longer reach out to.

He slammed the office doors shut before resting his head against the wall, pondering his actions.

How can I make them understand? They more they try to reel me in, the further away I’ll go!

It wasn’t often Kris let his feelings show. Being moulded by his parents so much as a child forced Kris to become shut-up, cold even, especially when it came to his feelings. But now? Now the pressure was starting to build up and bubble over to the point that the chinks in his armour were beginning to show. Kris turned around, resting his head against the wall with his eyes closed, pondering his future, his options, his family, everything - only to be reeled out of his deep thoughts suddenly.

“Didn’t think I’d be seeing you around for a while.”

Kris opened an eye to see a petite, smirking Luna, dressed formally, smart, as she clutched a notebook to her chest.

She got rid of the blue streaks in her hair. Now she looks like an actual grown-up

“Long time no see, huh?” Kris asked as he closed his eyes again. Kris wasn't in the mood to play catchup with an old friend, not to mention seeing Luna brought back memories of last summer. Memories Kris still fought off in his dreams.

Luna scoffed, “You don’t sound too happy to see an old friend? You could look at me properly at least.”

Kris sighed. Opening his eyes would mean being brought back to that fateful night last year, the night their lives all changed, the night everything started to go downhill. Kris would never forget the sight of the crowds, the piercing brightness of the lights, the screeching of the sirens, all of the tears and anger… Baozi...no- I won’t think about it. I can’t. Everyone else moved on.

“You changed your hair I see,” Kris said sarcastically as he acknowledged his old friend properly, standing up straight and opening his eyes. Any attempt to draw his mind away from the black hole of memories he feared treading.

Luna raised an eyebrow, “Yet you still can’t draw I’ve heard.”

“Damn you, Amber…” Kris mumbled under his breath, his irritation over his lack of skills a constant set-back in his life. “I guess some things never change.” Kris sighed, a smile softly appearing on his face this time. A faint voice in the back of his mind whispered faint pains about Kris’ lack of contact with his best friend in the last few weeks.

Luna smiled back too, every curious and quick as usual, “Let me guess – your parents still trying to control your spending?”

Kris nodded, “Apparently they’ve never heard of ‘youthful recklessness’.”

“And apparently you’ve never heard of budgeting.”

“Touché.” Kris chuckled ruefully.

For him to stand before an old friend who’d clearly gotten on with her life, knew what direction she was heading in and had everything planned out, was a disheartening moment for Kris. He knew what he wanted yet had no idea how to get there. He was stuck in this never-ending circle of drugs, alcohol and the confusion of love. In a way, seeing Luna, the fastest rising legal apprentice of Mr Kang stand before him, a completely changed woman from last year, actually made Kris jealous. She'd gone from wild, crazy party girl in highschool to earning a huge starting salary with Christmas bonuses.

And she only graduated last summer.

“It’s not my fault I keep finding cool things to buy.” Kris shrugged, the matter simply confusing in his mind, “I like working on my car, smoking, partying and buying nice clothes. Somebody sue me already.”

Luna looked at him with the eyes of someone who’d been through, yet changed a lot in the past year, “It’s also not your fault, you just haven’t experienced the pain of growing up yet. Even with everything that happened with Minseok, you're still in denial of reality.”

The words sunk into Kris easier than a knife through butter. The name of his old friend burned like salt in an old, open wound. He’d avoided the truth for a long time now; that what happened to Minseok (his Chinese name being Xiumin), last year was a wakeup call for everyone, the fact that Kris would have to make some pretty big decisions soon, as well as the fact he’d soon no longer be his parents’ responsibility. Kris liked the age he was at too much, he didn’t want to bear the responsibilities his parents or even his sister had – hence why he invested so much in having fun. But the fun was just a means of avoiding the guilt over what happened, and avoid thinking about the future.

But is it time to change?

“Can’t I at least just make my parents understand that if I want to grow up, it has to be on my terms?”

Luna took in Kris’ question, her face becoming pensive as she pondered the question, the depth of the answer Kris was seeking. Luna was often the person people would go to for advice, even in highschool; she was level-headed and smart, hence why she was the only one set up and ready to get on with her life out of their friendship group. Even Kris, one of the oldest, stronger-minded members of their group couldn’t help people the way Luna did. Luna had a way of looking at people past their problems in a way no one else could. Even Amber still spoke to Luna about her problems– not that Kris would know about what Amber got up to recently, he hardly spoke to her these days.

“Well,” Luna started, pulling Kris out of his thoughts, “Get a job. A job you want. It’ll show them you can be independent, as well as convince you to stop funding other people’s parties. That would be a good start.

Kris thought about it for a moment. Would he work in the supermarkets, packing people's bags for them and scanning items endlessly like other kids his age? Or would his parents stick him in the finance office of their building with the first chance they got? What could he do? All internships with decent companies wouldn’t open up opportunities till New Year’s at least, and any engineering company wouldn’t want a kid among their ranks unless they’d gotten a university degree already.

“I don’t know what I could do though?” Kris shrugged, no idea about what prospects were available in the small town he lived in, and he couldn’t exactly be bothered to commute an hour to the Seoul every weekend – the cost of commuting alone would outweigh my earnings!

Luna pouted in thought, tilting her head to the side as she racked her brain for answers, the names and locations coursing through her brain in place of the usual mathematics, solutions and formulas, “Something easy, yet something you can prove yourself capable with.”

“Easy work… I know just the place.”

 

*

 

“Uh… Are you sure you need a job? Don’t you have a bank account the size of a large village?

“That’s not the point,” Kris sighed as he brushed a hand through his hair, trying to deal with the confused looks Chanyeol and Tao were giving him as he asked them to give him a job, “My parents will send me to a finance school if I don’t clean up my act.”

Kris didn’t want to let on exactly how terrible the predicament had made him feel, so he forced himself to act cool and even apathetic about the situation. He wouldn’t let himself be wrought the way his parents wanted him to – a big reaction will be exactly what they want.

Tao pouted, “You’re so smart though! You could get any job you want! And you wanna’ be stuck here?”

Ever since Kris met Tao a few weeks ago at Baekhyun’s party, Kris had become almost a brotherly figure for the boy – Kris was almost a full year older than him, they both moved from China, had an affinity for drugs and race car driving, not to mention Tao was like a squishy panda. Tao asked Kris all sorts of questions, from strains, best value alcohol brands, electronic-music, stocks, cars and even how to talk to girls. Kris always wondered what it was like having a younger sibling. Tao was the answer.

“Because not only do I get to work with friends, but it’s an easy job to cope with.” Kris sniffed the air dubiously, “And by the smell of things, I might even get to smoke on the job.” He smirked at the familiar smell of , drifting faintly throughout the warehouse.

Chanyeol sighed, reclining further in his chair with his hands stretched behind his head in ease, “Well, I don’t see why you can’t. We’re doing a good job here as it is, can only get better with an extra pair of hands around, right Tao?”

And in that moment, Chanyeol leaned a little too far back in his chair, and fell right off and onto the floor, his head colliding with the ground and his beanie flying off.

With the power of social media, word got out about Kris getting a job, and on that very first day of his employment, Baekhyun turned up, bursting into an uncontrollable fit of laughter over the sight of Kris in his uniform.

“It was the only size they had left!” Kris defended as he tugged on the hideously small black polo, the sleeves a little tight on his arms and riding up ever so slightly at the bottom. Kris suddenly felt slightly conscious in his getup - he was usually the more fashionable one of the group, and might as well have invented the e-boy look. He wasn't used to this mockery.

“I can’t make up my mind,” Baekhyun panted through his laughter, his eyes creasing in sheer laughter, “Either your shirt shrunk in the wash, or you took some growth hormones and shot up overnight.”

Kris rolled his eyes at Baekhyun’s outrageous laughing and rowdy nature, going as far as to throw a tube of loo roll at him from across the room. Except Baekhyun, having brawled regularly, had razor-sharp instincts, and managed to dodge it at the last second. The loo roll hit Tao square in the face.

“Oh come on!” Tao groaned as Baekhyun smirked at their younger friend getting hit square in the eye. Tao rubbed his eye in dismay, “We’ve got at least four more shirts ordered!”

Chanyeol looked over at Tao in bewilderment, “We don’t have four more people to employ?!” Chanyeol launched a different loo roll at the confused Tao, “What are we gonna’ do with the other three t-shirts! Huh?”

“OW!” Tao screeched, pressing a hand to the other eye that the loo roll hit, “Well – we can actually get our ones cleaned! We’ll have extras! Spares!”

Chanyeol sighed and shook his head at Tao’s pernickety antics, yet Kris understood his concerns completely. The boys’ shirts were worn and torn in several places, not to mention were probably forever embedded with the raw smell of . Kris himself had a fine taste for clothing, and he couldn't help but feel bad for the boys having to put up with these clothes for so long.

Not even a good dry cleaner could get rid of that smell.

“Has your Dad spoken to you yet?” Chanyeol asked Baekhyun, the events of last week’s party rocketing the distress in Baekhyun’s family beyond measure.

Kris and Baekhyun were awfully similar in that way; their distance from their parents, the coldness, as well as their affinity for drugs and parties. Kris may have been more into drug experimentation than Baekhyun, but for him it was a way of self-medicating, even therapy for him - Kris just didn’t see the attraction in fighting, brawling and sleeping around. Baekhyun’s wild-side was the very thing that made him a one of a kind. Kris was a hopeless crackhead if anything, but he didn't have that same, total self-destract personality of Byun Baekhyun. Kris wondered how Baekhyun's father hadn't shipped him off to boarding school already, but then he remembered how good Baekhyun was at getting away with things.

If that were me, I would have been sent back to China a long time ago.

Baekhyun sighed, running his hands through his fading cherry-red hair, tension evident in his shoulders and voice, “No. He tried taking my car away, but I stole it back which pissed him off even more. I don’t get it; Amber and I cleaned the house up the next day before he could’ve gotten home to see the mess! How did he find out?”

Kris’ ears perked up at the mention of his best friend – the best friend who appeared to be avoiding him recently. He felt a stab of hurt in his chest as Baekhyun went on to discuss his brother with the boys, zoning out and retreating into his mind again.

What had he done to push Amber away like this? Did he say something? Do something? Was it because he didn’t share those pills with her? Or had she finally tired of being second best to Wendy? Kris couldn’t help it – Wendy was his girlfriend for crying out loud. She had gotten him through the guilt of everything that happened with Xiumin last summer, even persuaded him to go to counseling sessions when he'd had nightmares about his friend in his sleep. Kris might have coped with the guilt over Xiumin a lot better than the others did, but it was thanks to his girlfriend. But could he depend on Wendy forever? Or was it selfish of him not to confront his demons and drag her down with him?

Maybe you could just end things with her?

What the hell Kris? Why would you think that? How could you?

“Kris?” Chanyeol asked, clearly concerned over Kris’ sudden silence.

Kris zoned back into the present world and conversation, “Huh?”

“Dude,” Baekhyun scoffed, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

The only ghost in our lives is Xiumin. Images of the crime scene flashed before Kris' eyes, the sirens, the yellow tape, the blood, the body...

“Ghost?” Tao asked, suddenly scared as he began to peer around the room suspiciously, his fear and panic drawing Kris out of his thoughts once more. The boys groaned at his juvenile fear, Kris finding it an endearing aspect of his new friend. It eased his ensuing sense of dread.

But his hurt and curiosity over Amber overwhelmed his treacherous mind, pushing him to ask about his best friend before his conscience could stop him from doing so; “You guys seen much of Amber recently?”

This brave face was his mask he wore with great motivation; Kris would never reveal his true feelings, not even to his best friends and family. Not even Wendy would be able to wrangle the whole truth out of Kris when he wore his mask of steel. No one could, not even Victoria.

But Amber had managed to do it. Just once.

No wonder that night last year still haunts me…But how has everyone else moved on from it so easily? How can we act like Xiumin didn't happen? Like he didn't exist?

“She’s hanging out with Kora a lot from what I’ve seen,” Tao scratched his head, tracing back through his memories to answer his friend's question.

Chanyeol nodded, “They get on like a house on fire. Always messing around when I see them. Come to think of it, I think I’m hanging out with Amber a lot more than you, Hyung.” Chanyeol chuckled painfully, oblivious to the true pain Kris felt at the lack of contact with his best friend. Baekhyun sent Chanyeol a funny look in the midst of his unusual silence, but Kris was too pained to register this.

He wanted to so badly to talk to her about his problems, his guilt, at least make someone understand his frustration at his family, his girlfriend, and life in general – but if Amber was avoiding him, what could he do? The pain in his chest at the thought of his best friend was strange, but Kris couldn’t ignore the intensity of this feeling for long. He needed to see Amber, make her understand.

Otherwise, who else could?

 

*

 

“Dude, I think you’re losing your touch.”

“Shut up, Lu,” Kris cursed at Luhan in Mandarin, (their normal custom) after the basketball bounced off of the backboard and rolled back towards Kris, slowly, the echoes of failure spinning with it. Kris ignored his friend and proceeded to shoot, and miss, several more shots, each time his frustration growing with each poor shot he took.

“Kris, calm down!” Luhan held his hands up at his friend as he sent a ball flying at the court wall in sheer frustration and anger.

Kris followed his friend’s advice, and spun a ball absent-mindedly on his finger as he tried to calm himself down. All that was happening -his family, Wendy, Amber, his future- was constantly rotating around in his mind, like a plague he had no chance of finding an antidote for anytime soon, a plague which would eventually consume his mind if he didn’t let it out sooner or later.

He just couldn’t bear letting anyone see how hopeless he really felt.

But this is Luhan we’re talking about. The kid who taught me the Korean Alphabet?

Luckily, Kris didn’t need to spend ages pondering what to say – Luhan already had an inquiry in mind, “What’s the deal with you and Wendy these days?”

“What do you mean? We’re fine,” Kris shrugged, his instinctive defensive nature kicking in again. Kris wasn't the type to open up, even when questioned. By maybe that's why he was facing so my dilemmas in

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
kiko98
NEW CHAPTER OUT NOW!!!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
Twizzlenut #1
Happy to see a new chapter update! It's been a while so I'm settling in for a re-read from the beginning. So, so interested to see how this story pans out in the end.
Realityindreams #2
Chapter 29: Long time...but worth the wait.
I really like krystal character...
Can't wait for next.
Leflaur
#3
Chapter 28: I like it very much(Krystal)~~
Cerita dan karakter Krystal sangat menari

Please do continue.....:))
MarielleCole #4
Chapter 28: Krystal story and character is really interesting. I like her best. Not sure about Koran. She's kinda annoying. I'm curious about what will happen next
juls27
#5
Chapter 28: Welcome back!!! And Kora is back as well. This chapter has too much angst and drama to set up the again. I just want all of them to be happy, pretty please. :( There's still a lot of unresolved issues and I feel like the secret will be revealed soon. :)
Katwinke #6
Chapter 27: Can't wait for the next chapter!
juls27
#7
Chapter 27: You're back! I'm so happy that there's a new chapter. :) And I am happy that Kris is owning up his responsibilities now. Tha nk you for the update! :) Can't wait for our characters to have a resolution.
dreamshun
1813 streak #8
congrats on winning the bid ^^
Realityindreams #9
Chapter 23: I was waiting for her (krystal )arrival...superb.

Can't wait for next...
phantago #10
Chapter 25: THIS IS CRAZY!! this story is SO SO GOOD how as it not got more votes!! I’m so excited to see how this pans out but you’ve revealed some of the mystery so so well!! Ahhh can’t wait to see where this goes