Chapter 37.

Mark woke up to a pair of neon yellow eyes. “You’re gonna sleep all day or what?” Chenle’s voice sounded and Mark pushed the other off him. Chenle bounced on the bed and then wiggled his way in between all the fur. “This is nice!” He exclaimed, and Mark noticed Taeyong had left. Jisung was removing his boots to jump onto the bed as well. His red eyes glowed and he was smiling excitedly, fingers running through the soft blankets. “Oh, we should bring these.” He said with a look sent in Chenle’s direction and Chenle laughed; his laugh high-pitched and cheerful. Mark rubbed his eyes and watched the two of them snuggle closer to Mark. Jaemin peeked inside. He walked over to the desk first. He lit the candle that stood in the corner and sat down on the stool. Mark sat up, only to be pulled down by Chenle. He chuckled and decided to let himself rest. Jaemin read the papers. Mark pulled the journal out of his jacket. He raised it up.

  “Jaemin.” He called, and the other hummed in reply, clearly too enthralled by what he was reading. “Check this out.” He said, and he didn’t know why he was sharing this with Jaemin, but he just knew Jaemin liked to do research. He kept asking the Damned questions and Mark was sure reading Lord Win’s journal would shine a light upon more. Jaemin turned around on the stool, when he noticed the journal; his eyes lit up. Mark threw it and Jaemin caught it with both hands. He turned the journal around in his hands, checking out the binding before he read the first page. Mark noticed Chenle and Jisung both were dozing off already. Jisung had his head on Chenle’s chest, and Chenle who fell asleep easily were already snoring.

  “Did you just come in here to sleep?” He asked the two and Jisung opened his eyes.

  “Wha-? Ah- No.” Jisung blinked. “Food is ready.” He said. “We already ate.” He told Mark, and the Damned nodded before he swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He pulled on his boots, and then walked out of the room. The front tent was brighter; the curtains had been pulled aside so the daylight came in. The table had also been re-assigned, now there were different pieces and different notes on it. Jaehyun, Johnny and Haechan must’ve started planning already.

They had lit up a fire, and Mark noticed how most of the group was gathered around it. There were other tents in the clearing, small and with quite the distance to the main tent. Another fire was lit far from the clearing. Its smoke rising up high, dark and thick. Mark didn’t like the sight of it and he noticed that Taeyong was looking at it too. He walked over to the others. Haechan, Johnny, Jaehyun and Doyoung were sitting there. Renjun and Jeno seemed to be sword fighting and Yuta was out gathering herbs with Ten. Mark took seat beside Taeyong. Doyoung handed him a bowl full of soup and some meat, that looked like it was from a sort of bird. Mark ate it, holding the bowl in his lap, and using his wooden spoon. The others had gone quiet since he arrived. Mark glanced at them. Jaehyun sent him a smile, the others seemed a little closed off. Doyoung though, was focusing on stirring in the pot, so that was why he didn’t catch Mark looking at him. Johnny inhaled sharply before he started explaining.

  “We’re discussing the plan on how to approach the 1^st Clan. They have soldiers by their borders and gates by the main roads. It won’t be possible to sneak past anyone. Yet we have Jaehyun, Haechan and me, we would be let in unless…”

  “Unless Commander Hun no longer is on our side.” Jaehyun finished Johnny’s sentence. “I will try to send a letter first, of course as anonymous, but see how he is doing. We will keep a watch on how the 1^st Clan will act after receiving this letter. If they become more hostile we go in to attack not to negotiate.”

Mark nodded, it sounded better than to go in unprepared.

  “So this place will become our camp for the upcoming week. We need time to plan this out. I suggest we get rid of the Rox, because we’ve seen traces of it near this clearing. Lord Win managed to keep it at bay, but we don’t want it to surprise us.” Haechan started. Mark looked at the other as he spoke. His dark skin, definitely more tan because of the Warm season, his red hair had lost a little color. Mark looked at the way the light was captured in his eyes, and how he moved his hands when he spoke. People were nodding along, agreeing with him and Mark knew he should nod too, but for a moment he could only stare.

Mark’s face was pushed away and he lost sight of Haechan. He straightened up and glared at the person beside him. Taeyong gave him a knowing look, grinning at him. Mark raised a fist, warning the other not to do something that would make him angry. Taeyong only seemed to be even more amused.
Mark let a thought come to him. How funny Ten and Taeyong just relished in the fact that Mark had a crush, couldn’t they leave him be?

It left him when he realized that Ten and Taeyong weren’t talking, that Ten was angry with Taeyong. That Taeyong had betrayed Ten.

Mark lowered his fist and went back to finish the soup. Doyoung looked at Mark. “How did you guys escape it?” He asked and Mark noticed Doyoung look at Haechan as well. Mark’s eyes settled on Haechan, hoping the other would answer but Haechan’s eyes moved to meet his, and both of them turned their gazes away from each other.

  “Water.” Mark spoke quickly. Jaehyun were eyeing the two younger boys. “It relies on movement, it even put its head into the water as if wanting to feel us in there. It will be good at hunting in the night too, and I think its hearing also could be important.”

  “It’s one of the scariest creatures I have ever seen.” Jaehyun admitted. Taeyong didn’t seem like he had met it.

  “A Rox?”

Johnny nodded and started explaining what it looked like with a lot of interest. It seemed like he noticed he was talking to Taeyong so eagerly half-way through, and it made him slow down. Taeyong looked happy and it was as if Johnny saw that too, because he picked up speed and then finished talking about it. Taeyong asked questions and Jaehyun joined in on discussing it. Doyoung and Mark found each other’s eyes. Doyoung smiled and Mark couldn’t help but do the same.

Mark left the group and walked towards the tent. Jaemin had moved outside in the sun with the journal. He had a journal of his own and he was shifting between reading and noting things down.

Mark walked over to him and crouched down beside him. “Learning anything interesting?” He asked and Jaemin looked at Mark before noting the words ‘disturbance of memory?’ down into his notes.

  “I am.” He said and closed the journals and stretched out his legs. “From what I’ve heard, the Utahn clan is no longer a problem to the 1^st Clan. That is a long time ago. Lord Win must’ve died many years ago.”

Mark frowned. “How many?” He asked and Jaemin hummed.

  “It’s been many years ago since the Land of the Damned were established. From Lord Win’s notes, he was Damned and a free one at that for a while before he was captured. Also he’s very detailed while being human, but his first weeks of being Damned is all a blur to him, the way he writes, clearly he is not remembering much.”

Mark frowned. “But I remember everything clearly.”

  “It must’ve changed its effects over the years? Lord Win, have you seen him fight?”

Mark shook his head. “No, but he is caught in purgatory a lot.”

Jaemin nodded. “Ah, purgatory, Chenle and Jisung explained that to me. Any of the newly turned Damned that gets caught in Purgatory?”

Mark shook his head. “No.”

  “I think it’s only happening to those who got ill and turned a long time ago.” He said and suddenly covered a word with his thumb. Mark only saw it started with ‘slight ma’.

Mark looked Jaemin. The other’s brown eyes looked amber in the sun’s light. He was young, but so very intelligent. “Why are you so interested in this?”
Jaemin chuckled. “My parents.” He said and by the way he said it, Mark knew it had been a topic they spoke about often at dinners. His parents were probably very smart too. “I want to finish their research. I want to help.” He said and looked up at Mark. Jaemin flicked through the pages of Lord Win’s journal again and Mark stood up. He felt grateful for an ally like Jaemin. Maybe his research could do them a lot of good. They needed him.
Then all of sudden Jisung came running out of the tent with Chenle chasing after him. Chenle was laughing hysterically. Jisung stumbled and fell and Chenle flew on top of him. Jisung kicked at the other and the two seemed to be fighting, but Chenle was still smiling as they did. Mark glanced at Jaehyun who had stood. Jisung got to his feet, hair wild and he pointed at Chenle warningly. The other just grinned and stormed forwards with open arms, tackling Jisung to the ground. Jisung’s lanky body flopped onto the ground. Taeyong walked over to them and when Jisung seemed to get really mad; the two Damned had to separate them.

Chenle was in Taeyong’s arms, panting and laughing. “Okay, I’m sorry, Sung.”

Jisung was still struggling, Jaehyun tried to keep him still. “You better be! You !”

Taeyong was smiling so wide, it was clear he had missed being with them. It tugged at Mark’s heart. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, wanting to head into the tent, when he sensed someone coming up to him.

Mark turned to face Haechan, who walked with his eyes on the ground. The other stopped beside him and the two of them seemed to hold their breaths. Haechan squinted against the sun, looking at Mark. “You wanted to talk.” He said, and Mark wanted to smile, because he was so relieved, so happy that Haechan approached him, but he settled on nodding and leading the way. They walked into the tent and as they did, Jaemin stood to walk away, clearly knowing they wanted to talk in private.

 

Mark walked towards the desk, sitting down on the stool. Haechan sat down on the bed, and the two of them sat in silence. Mark was overwhelmed, and just by looking at the purple marks on Haechan’s wrists, his throat tightened up and his chest felt like it was going to burst. He inhaled shakily and looked down, sight blurring because of tears. He didn’t want pity from Haechan, so he blinked them away.

  “I’m sorry,” Mark apologized in a thick voice and he tried to clear his throat. Haechan was looking at him and it seemed like he had done that in a while. Mark wiped his eyes. “I’m so sorry.” He cried and shook his head, gripping the desk with one hand. “You have put your trust in me and I… I just keep failing you.” Mark looked up at Haechan, the other sniffled as well. “I was so sad when I realized you were distancing yourself from me, and with Jaehyun dying and Kun coming back. I decided if Jaehyun died, I wouldn’t return.”

Haechan blinked. He looked taken aback by this.

Mark kept their gazes locked. “I would have chased Lord Win and Kun down. I would have killed them. Then… Well, I would probably not survive my wounds from fighting them. They’re good.”

Haechan shook his head. “Stop.” He stated and Mark pressed his lips together. Haechan looked away from the other. “You don’t need to explain.” He said. “All I need to know is-” Haechan looked up. “Will you trust me from now on? Because if you promise that, I will trust you too. I may have a duty in this life, but when I tried to accept my death, you kept on stopping me.” Mark remembered Jaehyun’s words. About Johnny and Haechan sacrificing themselves for him, if he died and they failed to protect him. What Haechan said, meant that they really had wanted to do it. Haechan stood up from the bed and Mark copied him. Haechan had his eyes squeezed shut. “You and your damned blue eyes, you and your crying all the time; why did I have to fall for you? We are probably starting a war and all I think about is if you really feel the sa-” Haechan’s voice was muffled, his words got stopped by a sharp inhale and a warmth on his mouth. Not warm as the sun, rather cool and… wet. Mark stepped back, hands still cupping Haechan’s face and the feeling of the kiss lingering on their lips. Haechan seemed out of breath, but Mark’s was steady. “Why-” Haechan started, eyes running over Mark’s face. “You need to stop crying when you kiss me.” He said with a pull at the corner of his mouth and Mark chuckled, wiping his own cheeks dry and then settling his hands on Haechan’s nape, going in again and this time letting it be softer and longer. He wanted to portray; that yes, he would trust Haechan with everything.

Haechan’s skin grew warm beneath Mark’s hands. Mark knew the other was blushing. “I like you.” Mark said and it were simple words, but it made Haechan smile so wide, Mark was sure his face would split. “I trust you, because you’re my best friend.”

Haechan reached up to run his thumb over the bruises on Mark’s face. Bruises his fists had granted it with. Mark smiled and Haechan dropped his hand down again, both of them just looking at each other. So this was love. Mark realized. This was what his mother had talked about, and warned him about. One day you will find someone special. Someone that you can’t let go off even if they hurt you, even if the world is falling apart around you. You can’t let go of them. Sometimes it’s really simple and clear, other times it gets a little blurred. I want you to know it, when that person appears in your life Mark, you grab onto them, and you hold on. There may be others, but it will never be the same love, as the first one. Remember, love is something we all deserve in this world.

Mark and Haechan rested their foreheads together, Mark’s hands slid down Haechan’s arms and to his hands, and they both looked at the bindings around Mark’s knuckles. Both of them sighed and Haechan leaned in this time, pressing his lips to Mark’s again. In that moment, they believed in a world without war and without illness. Just the brightness of their feelings and their hopes for the lives they led. Mark imagined Haechan walking with him through the yellow fields of the 7^th Clan, and Haechan imagined them sitting on the rooftops of the 1^st Clan, watching the buzzing streets and talking about their lives as if they would never end.

Together in that dimly lit space, their beating hearts beat loud and strong. Even if their rhythms weren’t the same, they beat for each other. There were no fear, no hate, only forgiveness. To whatever they had caused each other, they forgave each other. The world around them was erased, their ears focused on the sound of their breaths, and their hands held onto each other gently and tentatively. They were young and in love.

They felt eternal.

A/N:

You better appreciate me. I wrote fluff and romance for you ers.

(btw kun having so much focus in the new nctmentary is bring me back to life. also did you see ten smiling and looking a the sky???? BEAUTY)

Love,
Emma <3