34..

Of Truth and Love

"What is wrong with you, Hyoseob?"
"Me?! What is wrong with me?! You were spending time with that guy!"
"Is that wrong?!"
"I thought you already ended it with him?!"
"We never really had a thing together, you know."
"I... I cannot believe you!"
"Look. I only went with them because Daejung insisted. He wanted to be with Dean. I don't even understand how they met. But since Daejung wanted to, I said yes. I can't say no to him."
"Oh. So now, it's because of Daejung. Was it really because your brother insisted or because you wanted to be with him as well? Sitting across each other on the table?"
"What the actual is your problem with that?!"
"What my actual problem is?! We're trying to keep you away from him and you still hang out with him!"
"Why can't I hang out with him?! Since when have I told you to filter the people I meet everyday, Shin Hyoseob?!"
"Because I care!"
"You care?! You're giving me so much stress right now! How is that supposed to be caring?!"
"Do you like Dean?"
"What?! Don't change the topic, Shin Hyoseob."
"I'm asking you a question! Do you like him!? Do you like Kwon Hyuk?!"
"I... I... I don't!"
"Then why do you keep on protecting him!? Why do you always look for him?! Why do you care about him?!"
"Because... Because..."
"Because you like him..."
"I don't!"
"You do, Jin Chahye! Don't fool yourself!"
"I don't! And if I do, should you even be greatly affected by that?!"
"I will be because I'm your best friend. And lastly... I will be much more affected because I love you as well."

It was Sunday. And even though the sun was shining bright, Chahye felt so gloomy she just wanted to stay in bed. Her fight with Hyoseob yesterday didn't turn out good. Aside from broken hearts, they both knew their friendship was on the edge of falling apart as well. It is true what they say sometimes then. It's impossible for bestfriends of different genders to not fall in love with each other in time and still be the same afterwards.

But that wasn't the case with the two of them.

Chahye sighed as she turned to lie on her bed facing the ceiling. She was alone at home because Daejung went to visit a friend. She didn't want him to go because she was feeling so down but even Daejung looked like he wasn't in a good mood either. She took her phone from her drawer and stared at the screen for a long while. She wanted to talk to him but there was a side of her that pulled her back. And the other side died to hear his voice. In the end, she dialed his phone and waited for him to pick up.

"Hello?"
"Dean?"
"Chahye..."
"What are you..."
"Ami..."
"What?"
"Ami. Why don't you call me ami anymore? Isn't that what we agreed to?"
"Oh. That... Ami..."
"Better."
"Urgh!" she blurted out as she found him annoying, imagining him smiling to himself.
"So what do you need today?"
"I was just wondering if you were free today?"
"Oh. Did you miss me already? That's so sweet."
"What is wrong with you?" she said looking at her phone and wondering if it was really Dean on the other line.
"I'm fine. Don't worry."
"Well, you don't sound like you are."
"I am."
"You aren't."
"I am. I'm just... I'm just really happy."
"About what?"
"I was working on a song actually and I just was about to finish it when you called. And tadah! Everything suddenly felt so perfect."
"And that's because I called you?"
"Yes. You're my inspiration in everything, ami."
"Ha-ha-ha." she said rolling her eyes. He was becoming cheesy again and she didn't fall for it.
"So, what time do you want to meet up?"
"What?"
"You were asking if I was free, right? I am now. So where do you want to go? That's if you called to meet up with me."
"I do. I want to."
"All right. I want to see you as well."
"Okay. Pick me up."
"Got it, ami."

Chahye hurriedly fixed herself up. Normally, she would care less of what she wore but today, she had to rummage her closet for her favorite pair of jeans and shirt. She wanted to look good when Dean arrives. "What am I even thinking?!" she told herself through the mirror as she slid her pink sweater over her head. She shouldn't be thinking about that.

Dean arrived at their building in not more than 30 minutes wearing his usual over-sized coat over an over-sized shirt. He was smiling ear to ear as he was looking at his phone. Chahye approached him and he lifted his head to greet her with a warm smile. She felt her chest tighten at the sight of him.

"So, where are we going?" asked Dean.
"Uhm... Anywhere... Anywhere is fine," she said looking straight at him.
"Are you sure? I wanted to try this Japanese restaurant I happen to pass by every time I come here from the studio," he said.
"Then let's go," she said with a smile.
"Shotgun or backseat?" asked Dean as he walked over to the other side of the car.
"Shotgun," answered Chahye following him.

They didn't talk on the way to the restaurant and Dean seemed to have been talking to someone on his phone. He had it mounted on his dashboard and often had to look if he got a message. Chahye knew it was because of his work. She knew he had schedules to follow this week because he has an album to drop soon. She felt guilty for asking him to go with her despite knowing this fact. But she was happy that he was able to put her first.

They arrived at the 3-floor restaurant and decided it would be best if they stayed on the top floor where no one usually sits at. They took the tables right beside the glass windows and sat right next to each other. They ordered tonkatsu slices, curry and 2 plates of sushi. The waiter gave them the smoothies they ordered while waiting for the food. Dean effortlessly pointed at most of the buildings in front and named them.

"Isn't your studio along that road?" pointed Chahye at the highway where a flyover could be seen.
"I think. Or maybe farther into a side street," said Dean.
Chahye stole this opportunity to look at him. "Why did you choose this place?" she asked.
"Because I'm happy. And when I'm happy, I eat sushi. And when I eat sushi, I become even happier. It's my favorite food," answered Dean with a wide smile.
"Oh. I see," said Chahye as she tried to avoid his gaze.
"I used to not like it but Millic made me eat it almost everyday back when he was starting to learn the turntable. I guess, I liked it because I remember being with him every time I eat sushi," Dean explained happily.
Chahye smiled at his story. "You're lucky to have Millic as your bestfriend," she said.
Dean looked at her and said, "What do you mean?"

Their other orders came and the waiter placed the dishes in front of them. "I just mean that you're lucky to have a bestfriend like Millic," said Chahye as she took the plate of sushi and placed it in front of him.
"Why? Is Hyoseob hyung not a good bestfriend?" said Dean.
The waiter walked away and started to eat. "Hyoseob is an amazing friend," said Chahye in between dipping a sushi in the sauce and putting it inside .
"Then why do you sound so sad?" asked Dean as he did the same.

Chahye reached for a slice of her tonkatsu but stopped midway. She put her chopsticks down and put both of her hands on her lap, breathing deep then sighing. She slumped back in her seat and looked out at the array of buildings lined up against each other in the view. Dean was already munching on his second sushi when he noticed Chahye sit back and fell too gloomy. He put his chopsticks down and sat back on his seat, imitating her.

"Did the two of you fight?" asked Dean looking at her.
"We came home yesterday and it happened. It was crazy," smirked Chahye as she sighed.
"Did you two fight because of me?" asked Dean.
Chahye turned to look at Dean. "You? No. We didn't fight about you. Why should we?" she asked.
"I just... Because we were together yesterday," said Dean looking back at the view.
Chahye smirked and shook her head. "Well, maybe. But it was worse this time," she said. 
"I'm sorry," said Dean not even knowing what he meant.
"You shouldn't be," said Chahye.
"Is this the reason you wanted to meet up?" asked Dean searching for an answer.

"Jiho and Jisuk are gone for the day. They said they had work to do. Daejung left home early. I don't even know where he went to. And my bestfriend, is mad at me. I don't have a lot of friends, Dean. There aren't a lot of people I put my full trust into and I didn't know who I wanted to be with right now," said Chahye looking at him. The two of them held each others' gaze until she spoke again. "I met him 6 years ago and he has always been my listening ear. He knows literally everything about me. He even knows when I would get my period. He knows my allergies and he knows my bra size. Hyoseob is everything to me," she said as she looked back on the table, their food waiting for them. Dean kept his mouth shut and waited for her to talk more. He knew there would be more.

"But all those years, it was just me. Me, me and me. He knew everything about me, everything. He knew my problems. He knew when I just wanted to cry. He knew how to make me happy. But I don't. I don't think I know him enough. I wouldn't have known Masterpiece disbanded if Mintaek oppa didn't tell. I wouldn't have known about him joining Amoeba Culture if I didn't see Byul post about it on Facebook back then. I wouldn't have known he's been having a hard time with Haesol oppa if Jiho didn't slip while we were having dinner the other night. He shoulders all of my problems with me while I neglect doing the same to him. He is such an amazing person and I don't value him the same way he does with me."

Chahye's voice and lips were already shaking and Dean knew she was about to cry. He wanted to hold her and make her feel better but that wasn't the right time yet.

"I always knew he felt more than friendly love towards me. I always knew. He made sure I felt it. But I never gave it back. I never treated him the same way. He made me his world. But I can't. I can't even tell him to stop because I'm afraid to hurt him. But he said it last night. He told me everything. And I just realized that I've been hurting him ever since. But because I'm a problematic child, he fakes his smiles just to make me feel better. I've been hurting the one person that knows me and put every little effort to make me feel loved. He loves me, Dean. But I don't."

She was already crying, tears falling down at every sentence, every word. She kept her hands on her legs and looked down.

"It was the first time he ever shouted at me. He never shouted at me. All those years of trying to hide how he's annoyed at me not noticing his efforts... They all came out yesterday, Dean. And it's all my fault. I've always known he loved me but I act as if I don't. If I was just a bit more sensitive towards him. If I only shared my whole world with him. If only I loved him the same way... He wouldn't have been hurt. I can't call myself his bestfriend."

At this point, Dean held her right hand in his left and squeezed it tight. Chahye looked at him and calmed down, wiping the tears off her cheek.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..." she said in between sniffles.
"It's okay. You can cry some more if you want to," said Dean.
"What am I supposed to do?" asked Chahye, more tears falling. "I don't want to lose Hyoseob."
"I'm sure Hyoseob hyung didn't mean to shout at you, to argue with you. Maybe he was just really mad and it all just had to come off his chest," said Dean trying to comfort her.
"Do you think, if I talk to him, we'll still be the same after?" she asked.
"Since Hyoseob hyung loves you, I'm sure he'll still love you, no more, no less," smiled Dean.

Chahye was still sniffing when Dean pulled her head close to his chest. Chahye gasped at his actions, feeling her face against his chest. "Everything's going to be fine in the end, Chahye," she heard him say as he patted her head.

At that moment, Chahye felt peace. She felt as if all her worries vanished, like everything will be fine in the end. But why did she feel that way when it's Dean she's with? She only felt this familiar stirring in her heart back when she liked Hyuk. But that was way back. She pushed herself away from Dean and started wiping her face with the back of her hand.

"I'm sorry about that," she said.
"Are you all right now?" asked Dean staring at her, watching her.
She looked back at him at gave him a weak smile. "I am," she said.
"Good," said Dean. He raised a hand and pushed her hair back to her ear. The sun illuminated her blushing face and it made his heart race. "You could always talk to me whenever you need someone, Chahye. I may not help you, but you could just let it out. I'm glad you feel better," he said smiling at her.

Chahye couldn't answer. She was too absorbed at taking in his angelic face into her memory. His eyes. The way he smiled. He was shining in her eyes. He gave off too much happy emotions that Chahye even forgot about Hyoseob for a moment.

"Now, can we eat? My sushi is waiting for me," said Dean pouting at her.
Chahye giggled at his cute action and mockingly hit his arm. "Is sushi that important to you?" she asked.
"Yes. I could forget I love you just for the love of sushi," said Dean laughing, turning in his seat as he faced the table. He picked his chopsticks up and said, "Now, where was I?"

Chahye watched him eat like a kid happy to have his favorite food in front of him. She was smiling again and it felt nice. She suddenly felt so carefree. "Maybe you're really all that I need. Just.... Maybe," she thought as she went back to the curry that awaited her stomach.

 

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Guys.. I just died. ;~; Can't they just kiss again, already?! ;~;

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Hi guys! I'm currently back at writing Of Truth And Love. Hopefully, I can post a new update REALLY SOON! I'm so sorry if it took so long. I have a lot of stories to tell you guys! Please anticipate my return! Bam!

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MecrazySasaUnnie92 #1
Chapter 76: Sana mag update na.... ilang years na akong nag aabang ng chapter 77 huhuhuhu Ano besh??? Comeback juseyo~
Acerv_ #2
Chapter 75: ttt... I'm scared... that's horrible I don't even know what to say...
ayenvyone #3
Chapter 74: wahhhh!! thanks for updating!!
bangkwonminbobwife
#4
Chapter 73: girl
bangkwonminbobwife
#5
Chapter 70: so amazing you're good writer omg
bangkwonminbobwife
#6
Chapter 68: o.o young master she have other bro !??
bangkwonminbobwife
#7
Chapter 64: omo that her dad
bangkwonminbobwife
#8
Chapter 62: lol how many people she know
bangkwonminbobwife
#9
Chapter 59: bad GD bad GD lol how could you make him like this omg XD
ayenvyone #10
Chapter 73: cant wait for the next update dor this and all of your stories