The last one is here!!!~ And I can't write much coz I'm off to bed soon. Gotta start a new day with a new world awaits!
And to exopandicorn, I hope you will like it. ^^ /sorry if it's lack of feels or something, but it's the best I can do for now/ *whisper* I'll paid it with 'Officially missing you'.... ;)
This mark the end of the prompts. Thank you for requesting!!!~ :D
And do enjoy the last one~ ^^
Hanbin wants Chanwoo to know that ever since he came into his and the members' life, It has been a much better place than other.
Turn this one and you will feel what I feel when I wrote this.... :')
If there’s one thing that Hanbin hates the most in this world, it would be the sorrow deeply engraved inside Chanwoo’s eyes.
He has always hated that, how the grey of the emotion ruins the day that should be bright for the maknae. That how a simple effect of it could deter all the sunshine radiated from the younger to others and Hanbin swears that he is not the only one that despises it; the members too in fact are not that fond of seeing the maknae sad but Hanbin’s hatred on it is the worst.
When Chanwoo is chosen to be one of the fixed member in iKON, he received so many hates from the fans which Hanbin really thought of it as a real rubbish for God’s sake. At first, he understood it but when the time passing by and the hatred still doesn’t show any sign of ceasing, he becomes utterly confused and flabbergasted. It could be that the hatred is poured over because of the other two trainees losing their opportunity to debut alongside iKON but all the detestation the younger gets is something that is totally unnecessary. Besides, Hongseok is doing well in Cube and Jinhyeong is working hard as a trainee there too, what could be so wrong until all the cycles of hate still can’t be erased? That is a mystery that none of them have an answer to.
Hanbin prefers to think that all those fans are just being ridiculous and they are plainly jealous of the younger’s achievement rather than troubling his mind and adding more burdens to himself. Besides, other than handling the group in order, he has a young boy that needs all the love that he can give to.
“Have you eaten today, maknae?” He asks Chanwoo the question when the group is having their break after 4 hours’ intense practice. The filming for The Remix will be starting in a week and they can’t slack off any longer. However, that doesn’t mean that they could just carelessly throwing away their health’s necessities.
“Hmm, I’m not that hungry so I just take the bread.” Chanwoo replies the leader, a small but tired smile adorning his handsome feature. A tug of guilt and pity take over Hanbin as he witnesses his tired member with his t-shirt drenched in sweats. Hanbin then puts his hand over the younger’s neck and unnoticeably rubbing his nape to give comfort that only the two of them know the meaning behind it.
“You should eat some heavy meal next time so that you won’t get sick again.” He sounds strict and cold but Chanwoo knows better the leader’s nature. There are worries laced between his words that not so obvious for others to catch on but Chanwoo can see it, he just did. He doesn’t respond to Hanbin other than giving a slight squeeze to the leader’s thigh to show that he’s okay. The action relaxes Hanbin a bit but he is not even close to being relieve.
He sees something in Chanwoo’s eyes. Something akin to sad and it’s not a good sign, has never been one. And by the look of how Chanwoo’s smile doesn’t even reach his ears make Hanbin even more paranoid. His overprotective instinct is kicking in a second.
But he doesn’t say anything. In fact, the other hand which he lets to stay on his lap earlier is reaching over the younger one and he squeezes Chanwoo’s hand desperately, trying to send a message to the younger that he can tell Hanbin everything, like the usual, but the smile Chanwoo gives; now even faker, is what he is met with before he gets up from the chair leaving Hanbin alone with the remains of his presence earlier. None of them talk to each other until the end of the practice.
Nobody knows this but Hanbin and Chanwoo have been in a relationship since they were in Mix & Match up to now. They got something caught in between in the middle of the show and ever since then the two have been in a discreet relationship without anybody knowing it; including the members though Hanbin somewhat has a feeling that either Jinhwan or Yunhyeong could notice it already even though none of the two said anything so far.
But he could care less about that, it’s not something important for him to be pressured on about. He has much crucial things to take care of and a young teenage boy with tons of insecurities and troubles that he needs to get rid of from him since the day he known him. Yet it’s hard; not because he couldn’t erase those negativities from the maknae but it’s because Chanwoo himself doesn’t want to be saved. Instead of finding salvation or comfort from Hanbin and the members, he prefers to be alone, slowly drowning in his own sea of timidity and self-doubt by questioning himself every single day. And Hanbin opts to change that when he has the opportunity in hands one day.
And surprisingly today is one of the day in which the opportunity finally shows up to him. After they got back from the practice, all of the members are taking their own time to relax and loosen up a bit before heading to bed. Hanbin is inside his shared room with Bobby and Junhwe, lying in bed while listening to songs to calm himself down from the stress and fatigue. That is when Yunhyeong comes into the room all of a sudden. The older startled him out with his uninvited presence, black-blue apron draped around his lower body, a big glass of milk in his hand and face grim but his eyes are shining with worrisome. That intrigues the leader more.
“Hanbin-ah, could you please go and have a look at Chanwoo?” Yunhyeong asks him a favor that furrows Hanbin’s brows. The song played in his phone stops abruptly as his heart races in wonder and anxiety at the mention of the maknae.
“I don’t know. He’s been acting weird for all day long. I asked him what did he wanted for dinner since I’ll be cooking for Bobby and Junhwe but he passed it. Then when I came into the room to give him this milk he is …. sitting on the floor by the bed and spacing out. He’s worrying me.” Yunhyeong’s words seem to be in hesitation and Hanbin would be an idiot if he couldn’t see how the flash of worries in the older eyes seem to be escalating with seconds passing by. He seems very worried and so does Hanbin himself. Not wasting any seconds left, he tosses the phone to the side and walks out from the room heading to Yunhyeong and Chanwoo’s shared bedroom.
“Jinhwan hyung is in there already. Seems like it’s a big issue I guess, hyung has been in there for 15 minutes.” Those are Bobby with hands on his waist staring at the bedroom’s door by Hanbin’s side. There are the same emotions in his eyes that resemble Yunhyeong so much. It could be a lie if Bobby is not worried, he is worried about Chanwoo almost every day.
Hanbin then knocks on the wooden door. When he heard the small voice of Jinhwan calling him in, he opens it and steps inside the room. His eyes take him to the corner of the room which the maknae is sitting down on the floor right beside the edge of his bed, legs close to his chest and hands clinging to his knees. Jinhwan is right beside him; doesn’t even mind sitting on the cold floor as he tries to coax the younger to talk to him while giving comfort to him with his hand drawing circle behind Chanwoo’s back. When Jinhwan notices another presence in the room, he diverts his attention to the door and sends a vague smile fills with worries and anguish to the leader. Hanbin can’t find any other way to reply to that kind of smile though.
Hanbin watches how Jinhwan’s hand stops on the maknae’s back. He then whispers something in Chanwoo’s ear and if they are in another situation Hanbin would probably burst out in jealousy at how close Jinhwan’s lips to Chanwoo’s ear. He sees the maknae nods his head, agreeing to whatever the oldest said and Jinhwan then stands up from his spot on the floor walking to Hanbin’s direction.
“Go and have a talk with him, would you? Just call me if anything happens.” And Jinhwan heads out from the room first, leaving behind the utterly confused leader with the maknae alone. Sighing loudly to get rid of his nervousness –on why would he feel one is a mystery itself– he closes his distance with Chanwoo and takes the seat that is occupied by Jinhwan earlier beside the younger. The cold seeps through his bones but the one emitted from Chanwoo is frigid.
“Hey.” He calls for him trying to distract the maknae’s attention who up until now still couldn’t bring his eyes away from the floor. After a few seconds Chanwoo finally breaks the stare he has on the floor, nodding his head acknowledging Hanbin’s presence with a small but void smile following after. Now that is what ends up with the leader becoming more disorientated. Chanwoo’s faking his smile to hide his pain is the thing that he hates the most in this whole world. He could just read the turmoil behind the maknae’s smile. “Are you okay, Chanwoo?” He asks carefully not to make the younger ends up closing himself to him any further.
Another nod is what Chanwoo gives but it is nothing close to assurance. It makes Hanbin slightly working up but he tries to keep it down for the younger’s sake. “Did something happen? Do you want to talk about it?” He has never been this soft, nor affectionate but after 2 years living together with Chanwoo, he just knows that pushing the maknae wouldn’t give any solution. Besides, he doesn’t have any heart to scold his precious someone. With hand patting tenderly Chanwoo’s head, Hanbin urges for him to speak so that they can solve whatever the problems that the maknae has.
“I am just—tired.” Chanwoo finally voices out.
“Alright…... why would you feel that way?”
“I-I don’t know.” Chanwoo pauses to inhale a deep breath. “I’m just tired, hyung.”
At that, Hanbin says nothing. In fact, he just has nothing to say either. It has always been like this, with the maknae saying that he is tired and all moody for the whole day. Sometimes his mood swings last for a week and that only ends up with one of the members become irate at his silence; Junhwe being the regular one who complains right at the maknae’s face and it’s either Jinhwan or Yunhyeong that would shut him up.
On other times, he would just sit by somewhere all alone and when the members ask him what is wrong he would give his fake smile and dismisses them away. There are also a few times where the younger would sneak into Yunhyeong’s bed for comfort in the middle of the night and when the older asks him if he is okay or not the next morning, the maknae would just give him his smile that looks so pretended in Yunhyeong’s eyes. He told Jinhwan and Hanbin about it when the others are not around but even the two are at loss of words at what to do nor conclude.
On another worst occasion, he would sneak out from the dorm when everyone is soundly asleep in the dark hour of the night to the training center which the leader is at, working on a new song and lyrics. When it comes to that point, it means that Chanwoo has reached his boiling point and that is what worried Hanbin the most. In the end, the two would spend the remain of the night in the studio huddling together for warmth on the couch with a tears-stricken maknae and an equally desperate leader.
“I-I don’t know why I’m feeling like t-this. I think I can’t hide it any longer, hyung. It h-hurts and I just can’t continue on anymore.” There would be the maknae in Hanbin’s arms; crying and bawling his eyes out over the words thrown to him by none other than the insensitive and mad anti-fans who just couldn’t get over the younger’s victory in the group. Chanwoo would cry and cry for hours but Hanbin’s arms would never loosened up between his body.
“I don’t understand it. Why would they h-hate me? Why are they hating on me so much when what I’ve been trying to do is to make them impressed of me? Why wouldn’t they … like me?” And the tears would spill for hours alongside the whys until the break of dawn. Chanwoo will just cry in Hanbin’s arms, trying to make out the reason on the fans’ resentment to him while Hanbin can only bite the inside of his cheeks attempting to keep the anger inside as long as he can. But at last he fails as when the night becomes even quieter and Chanwoo’s sobs decreasing notch by notch though not ceasing yet, he eventually explodes but not in rage. It’s tears that fall down his eyes.
“I-I want to drop out.” It feels like a knife is cutting him apart hearing that from Chanwoo.
“No, please don’t maknae. You can’t drop out from the group.”
“But why would I stay if no one likes me? When all of them hate me?”
“Well I’m not. The members don’t. We all love you. I love you. Isn’t that what matters?” With that being said, the tears at last come flowing down from Hanbin’s eyes. It only makes Chanwoo cries even harder than before to hear his hyung sniffing the tears and snivels away.
“Chanwoo please, you are not talentless. You are full with talents and potential. You have a nice voice, one of my favorite and the fans love you too. We all love having you around with us.” By the time he said that, Hanbin knows that there is no longer a way out for him to stop the tears from coming down. He has never liked it when people see him cry but Chanwoo has always been an exception. He just let them come out from his eyes and fall down freely to his cheeks. The sight only makes Chanwoo’s heart becomes heavier as he hides his face in Hanbin’s shoulder to muffle the sobs.
“Forget about all the haters, Chanwoo. You are perfect and I believe that in the midst of all the idiots out there, there are also some of your fans that couldn’t be any proud to see you here with us. I know it, because I’m one of them. I am and always be proud of you.” Hanbin ends up confessing to the younger with all the tears wetting his face. Some of the droplets fall on the younger’s check as he has Chanwoo’s head safely tucked between his neck already. The maknae’s hand draped over him in desperate attempt to stop Hanbin’s tears.
“You are important to us, to me especially. You are the only reason why I didn’t give up when we were in Mix & Match before. If it wasn’t because of you, then I don’t think I could survive back then.” He keeps sniffling and Chanwoo is still crying his eyes out. “I-I don’t think I could survive this either.” He is referring to the struggles after their debut with all the pack schedules and criticisms from the netizens that just couldn’t give them their acknowledgement. The hand he has on Chanwoo’s shoulder is rubbing the younger to relay the warmth.
“You are so important to me. So don’t leave.” He says that and then the silence comes with the two being engulfed by it in the small room surrounds with recording equipment. Only their touches and body’s warmth becoming the string that keeps them on the Earth. After Hanbin has make sure that Chanwoo is alright, they would leave the room towards the dorm and in the next morning –which is just within an hour or two– Yunhyeong will find them on Chanwoo’s bed cuddling together in sleep. He doesn’t say any word at all when everyone is awake nor speaking of it any further.
It has always been like that. The cycle will continue on and on for no end. Though it’s tiring sometimes to ease the maknae down from his mental breakdown with the deadline for the album coming, Hanbin doesn’t let out even a sigh at all. Because he knows how Chanwoo needs him and he also needs the younger by his side; all sane and happy. Thus he doesn’t even mind it to have the maknae coming into the studio with the pools of tears in his eyes nor finding him before their dorm’s do