Before we starting, I've got to warn you that this one is very long .... But I promise you guys that it's very entertaining. I have so much fun writing it. ^^ Kudos to Aya02Cancer for sending this prompt! :D I like it a lot~ :3
Enjoy yourself people~ And just wanting to say that tomorrow is a big day for me~ *check my profile kk I really have no shame* ;)
Chanwoo is clingy to Hanbin ever since they were in high school, but everything starts to change when the second semester started and Hanbin found Chanwoo avoiding him then suddenly befriending Donghyuk for no reason. Since then, all the chasing and dilemmas started.
Another sigh escapes from his mouth for the umpteenth time. Paper sheets scattering everywhere on the table. The motivation to study and actually making something beneficial for his future is flying out through the window. The clock shows that it’s 2 in the morning, all quiet in the night of Seoul with people gently wrapped in their dreams while Hanbin is still pushing himself to finish his assignment for the week. Yet looking at the condition at hand, the empty white music notes and no melodic lyrics to sing to, guess he won’t be making it up tonight.
“Having trouble over here?” Regardless of the late hour, Jinhwan comes into his room holding two cups of hot chocolate in his hands. He handed one to Hanbin before plopping himself on the latter’s bed. His face clearly shown how tired he was from all the studying for the final year’s exam but he couldn’t just stop worrying about Hanbin. “You know what, I think you should just go to sleep. You can work on it tomorrow dawn. I’ll wake you up.” The smaller man says trying to give a solution to Hanbin’s writer’s block. Then he sips on the steaming hot chocolate while watching the turmoil of the man before him coming out from him in a form of a very heavy sigh.
“I have to finish it now. Who knows what is more to come tomorrow, hyung. My lecturer is crazy as hell he can’t even let me be in peace for a day.” Hanbin complaints while having his brain imagining himself enjoying punching the precious face of his music lecturer; aka Kwon Jiyong, the coolest fashionista lecturer in the campus for all the workloads he gives to him. Since the day 1 he entered the place, his lecturer just wouldn’t leave him alone.
In here come the brief introduction; Hanbin is a 22-years-old healthy Korean man, 3rd year student majoring in Music at Korea National University of Arts. He is well known to be a talented student with an excellent result in Music major compares with the others. He composes song so well and every words that he used for his song could tug on everyone’s heartstring. He is an outstanding lyricist with an exceptional talent in music. He can rap well too and the students respect him for that –well sort of like that, some of them are bashing on him, calling him a cocky and all with his rap style though he could care less about them–.
The lecturers call him a ‘prodigy’, girls think of him as awesome they are chasing him all the time while boys thought of him as nut but those doesn’t matter. Despite all the attentions he has, the only thing conquering his mind is only music.
However, nowadays he got something else wrecking through his brain mercilessly, replacing or better be said fighting its place with music in his head. And the something that he mentions is unfortunately in a form of a human being, a person which he has spent most of his high school life with before he entered the University life.
His name is Jung Chanwoo; a 1st year student majoring in Department of Acting. He just got here a few months back and since then Hanbin’s life has been turning upside down.
Well, for the last two weeks, it seems like it does.
Hanbin woke up late this morning, again but thanks to Jinhwan preparing him a breakfast and the bath he could make it just in time for class. Imagine himself being scolded by the vocal lecturer Choi Seunghyun in front of the whole class, damn it’s for surely not going to end good for anyone.
He has around 4 classes for the day and luckily all of it ends up well with him almost barely alive. His eyes are closer enough to shut down and it is not even half the day. If only he listened to Jinhwan’s advice last night, then he wouldn’t be in such a fatigue.
It’s lunchtime and he alongside with Jinhwan and Bobby are eating together in the cafeteria filling up their stomachs. Like always, Jinhwan’s side is all clean and neat with no spot of dusts yet for Bobby he has all the rice and pieces of burger on his place. Sometimes, Hanbin silently wonders if Bobby’s mother even feeds his son well or not. –Bobby is staying with his family out of the campus, momma’s boy. –
“I got an email from Yunhyeong yesterday.” Jinhwan starts the conversation. He sparks the two interest by talking about their other friend who they haven’t be seeing for 2 years.
“What did he say?” Hanbin asks, clearly curious on knowing Yunhyeong’s story. The last time he contacted the older was a week ago along with the older showing him all the pictures he got from his tour around the foreign country he’s in.
“He said he is doing well over there and he will be coming back in another 3 days.” The two nodding their heads hearing what Jinhwan said before the older of the three adds, “He seems really happy over there you know.” Well of course he is Hanbin thought. Who wouldn’t be happy when you got all the scholarships to study in Sydney; visiting the Opera House, City Recital Hall, the Verbrugghen hall almost every day learning and singing with all the amazing people in the world and sharing their secrets to success?
Yeah, Yunhyeong is one of the top students in KNUA majoring in Vocal. He received scholarships to study abroad in Sydney 2 years ago. And hearing the news of his return somehow warms their hearts. Finally, the seat next to Hanbin will be filled again and they could hear all the lame old jokes of the old-man Yunhyeong.
“Did he mentioned you anything about the kangaroo?” The wonders come to Hanbin again at how could Bobby possibly spoil the happy sentiment floating in the air right now. And with a kangaroo for God’s sake.
“Seriously kimbap, please, just how many times we need to tell you that he will not be taking any kangaroos over there with him just to give it to you?” The annoyance in Hanbin’s voice is something that cannot be ignored easily by anyone, and somehow it kind of breaks Bobby’s heart. You can see it from how scrunched up his face is towards Hanbin, adding much of his ‘ugliness’ that he labels on himself much to their dismay and despises.
“But he promised me!” Bobby protests, not caring if his voice is reaching the octave note imitating Lee Hi, the top 3 from the Vocal Department and crushing his notorious best rapper image in the place.
“Just because you threatened to flush his iPod in the toilet bowl last time!” Now the two double idiots are having their own idiot fight for the day over something that is as petty as Bobby’s kangaroo obsession. Jinhwan can only shake his head watching the two strangling each other in the public.
“Jiwon, you know that kangaroo is not exactly in the same family as Pooh right?” Jinhwan asks after the two has stopped fighting with each other.
“Or a rabbit!” Hanbin butts in.
“Wait, they are not?” Feeling flustered Bobby asks ending up with him receiving a much stupefied faces from Hanbin and Jinhwan. His ‘innocent’ has Hanbin giving a face that says ‘I give up’ while Jinhwan muttering out loud to the world, “God please save me.”
“But it has pocket! Pooh has a pocket too, and its ears are the same like Pooh!” Fortunately, that they are in public or else the two would have Bobby grilled for the day.
It takes another 10 minutes of eating and talking and teasing on each other before Hanbin sees him; the source of his confusion. The reason why his world is turning upside down and probably the reason why he can’t write anything good for the week. It’s him, walking all radiantly to the cafeteria with his so-called new best friend. It’s Jung Chanwoo and the younger is all dare to walk around the place ignoring Hanbin’s not-so-obvious- glare to him. Whether he is really not seeing it or truly dare enough ignoring it, who knows….
“Oh, there he is! Your baby is here, Hanbin. ~” At the end of his words, Bobby receives a very much deathly glare from Hanbin, shutting him up entirely. All their eyes are on the younger walking to the food court with the ‘angel’ –that is what he is called by others though Hanbin has zero idea in the world on why would they call him that– and the new prodigy of the Dance Department; Kim Donghyuk.
“Wow, what the people are saying is true. They are really close.” It feels like a thousand of needles are pricking through his entire body blooding and numbing him down to the core when Jinhwan says that. It is a bit drastic to say that Hanbin is angry but the truth is it does look like it. From the way his eyes piercing through the two, how his knuckles keep open and close as if he is about to punch the hell out of someone shows clearly how angry he is. And everybody, Jinhwan and Bobby mainly, can see it as clear as the crystal water.
They closely monitor the two best friends buying their foods and not-so-secretively being a lovey dovey couple with each other in public. Oh, Hanbin definitely sees all the touching they do and he is not happy at that! Despite it all, Hanbin still couldn’t understand why would anyone especially the senior girls adore them. He doesn’t get it at what part does all the gayest thing they do is cute to the girls’ eyes.
After they have done buying foods, the two are searching thoroughly for a seat and Hanbin swears to God that Chanwoo is deliberately not turning his head to their place. It is deadly obvious that the younger is running away from them or using the most correct but hurtful word to say, –Hanbin and Bobby doesn’t use it often because Jinhwan forbids them, he said it’s so hurtful to even hear it– avoiding them.
“JUNG CHANWOO!” The cafeteria falls into silence the moment Hanbin shouts for the younger name. His hoarse voice roaring through the place sending all the noisiness around to the abyss. Everyone turns quiet hearing the rapper’s voice calling for only one person in his sight standing all frozen at the center of the huge place.
“What are you standing there for like an idiot?! Come here!” He shouts again, this time not so loud since the cafeteria has turned all silent with his roaring earlier. Although their distance is far, that doesn’t stop his eyes from noticing how the younger’s face falls hearing the order is directed to him. The saucer size of Chanwoo’s eyes is unthinkable. It is so big as if he is seeing a real lion before him. After much deliberation, and a few pushing by Donghyuk, the two walk slowly to Hanbin and the others’ table. By the time they sit down, all the students returning their attention back to their food.
“Long time no see boy.” Hanbin greets them, or more like Chanwoo only. He doesn’t even spare a glance at Donghyuk who seems to be so fluster standing before the seniors. “What’s up?” He asks nonchalantly but they could see it clearly how insincere his smile is.
“F-fine.” Chanwoo answers him stuttering at first. He notices the twitch of Hanbin’s lips at the sound of his stutter. “How are you doing, hyung?” Chanwoo asks back to Hanbin, trying to be the nice kid he is though Hanbin has all the knowledge in the world that Chanwoo doesn’t even bother to know. At least, not anymore. From the way his smile wavers, the three notice that the younger is so nervous or even scared at the moment. On what, nobody knows it.
The five of them are eating on the same table with the stuffing awkward air surrounding them. It is no lies that everything is not good between Hanbin and his high school’s best mate. Not to mention how stiffen Donghyuk is but that is easily handled by Bobby who just needs to throw one of his lamest jokes and his infamous brightly lighted smile to make Donghyuk feels comfortable. Jinhwan is also being easy with the kid trying not to scare him further just like what Hanbin had done.
While the three are having their little-time-to-get-to-know-each-other moment, things are a bit trickier for Hanbin and Chanwoo. The two are eating in silent while Hanbin is literally making a hole on Chanwoo with his eyes with the younger all too preoccupied with his bread. Hanbin’s eyes doesn’t leave him throughout all the time they spend there and his action only adding up to Chanwoo’s nervousness in which Hanbin knows it all so well. Seriously, Chanwoo has no idea how Hanbin can still finish his soup without even spilling any of it on his shirt from all the staring he gives to him.
“So, how long does both of you know each other?” Hanbin starts off the awkward conversation, addressing the two maknaes on the table. The three on the other side stop their conversation instantly hearing the question.
“Chanwoo and I met each other during one of the classes project. The students from the Dance Department were given an assignment to team up with a few students from the Acting Department. We were asked to dance along to the given song while having them acting at the back. I got teamed up with Chanwoo at that time and since then we were friends.” Donghyuk explains all happy and excited without even noticing how burning Hanbin is at the moment. The boy might be oblivious but for the other three they know it that Hanbin is not even close to smiling at the time.
They let Donghyuk explains how the assignment was and for how long he has been friending Chanwoo –Jinhwan and Bobby being all nosy like always–. Donghyuk doesn’t even realize how quiet Chanwoo is since they come to sit at the table. He is too busy spreading his friendly aura around and unsurprisingly Bobby doesn’t stop him a bit. It gives Hanbin some time to have a little private talk with Chanwoo.
“You haven’t been contacting me lately.” Hanbin says to Chanwoo who is still trying so hard not to meet the older eyes.
“Yeah sorry about that, hyung. I got a little busy nowadays.” He answers, still not making any eye contact with Hanbin. The younger action has him a little uptight to say.
“Too busy for even one single text message?” Hanbin is obviously mocking from the way his voice sounds like and Chanwoo is not fond of a sarcastic Hanbin. Never was and never will. Feeling something snap inside of him, the younger has his head lifted up for the first time since he sits on the table, eyes finally meeting up with Hanbin although this time there is no feelings in it, no adoration that used to fill his big orbs whenever Hanbin is in his sight, no glint of admiration in his eyes anymore and for the very first time since he knew Chanwoo, Hanbin is scared of the way the younger’s eyes are looking at him.
“What about you hyung? Since the first time I came here, you have never called me asking how am I doing. Not even a text. You’ve never even care how I’m adapting here. So why would you suddenly care right now?” It is like someone has just throw a spear straight to his heart the moment he hears Chanwoo’s words. He doesn’t know why but those words hurt, when it shouldn’t be. Words from Chanwoo have never hurting anyone before, never hurting him. But the one that just got out from his mouth is something that speaks the otherwise. Hanbin has never heard Chanwoo spatting such a word to him before. Spatting the truth.
Before he could react on anything, Chanwoo has already left the table pulling the still talking Donghyuk along with him. But before he steps away from the table, Hanbin can hear he says, “Stop acting like you care when you have never did before.” And the two disappear through the masses of students flocking the cafeteria, leaving a baffled Hanbin and a confused Jinhwan and Bobby behind.
For the entire day since his return from the cafeteria, Hanbin has been locking himself up in his own room. The stinging words that Chanwoo said are still burning in his mind, repeating over and over again like a broken tape. He can’t get it out from his head no matter how many musical notes he tries to create and how much poetic a lyric he can make up. It’s like a plague inside, it can’t be erased that easily and probably would never will.
“You have never called me asking how am I doing. So why would you suddenly care right now?”
“Stop acting like you care when you have never did before.”
Damn, those surely hit right through the guts. No matter how hard he tries to throw it away, he could never deny the truth behind those words. Yes, that is true. Since the first time Chanwoo enrolled in KNUA, not even once Hanbin had ever met him nor called for him although he knew it that the younger would be coming and his phone number was still saved inside Hanbin’s phonebook. It was after two weeks later he met that boy, and as a record, it wasn’t him finding him but Chanwoo did. He still could remember the younger calling for his name, his voice bouncing through the hallway with hundreds of students passing by to their classes.
He was not supposed to be in the campus that day but because of Jinhwan shutting himself away from the world in the practice room for his vocal test, Hanbin had to go along with Bobby to drag the poor soul of the older back to their house. If not, he wouldn’t even see the younger and their encounter would probably not happen that day.
A knock on the door startles him up. He comes back from his reverie and sees Bobby standing before the door with a bowl of macaroni in his hands. He takes the spoon and have it in midair before saying, “Wanna some?” Hanbin shakes his head on the question and that brings another silence again to the stuffy room, giving another space for Hanbin to continue on his daydreaming.
“You know what, I think you are crazy.” Bobby’s words make his head springs up in surprised. He watches the older walking inside his room and like always, with no shame kicks all of his music notes down the bed and plops down on it like a gorilla.
“Why would you say that, hyung?”
“Causwe I wreally do thcink cyou are.” Bobby says with all the macaroni stuffed inside his mouth. When he opens his mouth, all the pieces of it flies all over the bed sheet and floor. Hanbin would be mad on it for sure but for now, he let it be.
“And why is that?” Hanbin asks feeling annoyance rising in him. He patiently waits for Bobby to finish the mac inside the big mouth of his.
“Because you are jealous that Chanwoo got himself a new friend when before this, you were the one hating on him.” Bobby says to him. The usual goofy bright smile on his face is gone. The seriousness emitting on him makes Hanbin shudders in slight nervousness. The truth that comes out from Bobby’s mouth sends cold down to his spine. “W-what do you mean?”
“C’mon Hanbin-ah, maybe you can lie to others but you can never lie to me. I still could remember how annoyed you were whenever Chanwoo came to see you, how you hate him clinging on you all the time. It feels just like yesterday when you complained to me and Jinhwan hyung all night long about how messed up you felt when that boy was around you.” Like a film, the memory comes to him in full force making him remember all the times Chanwoo was close to him. He remembers how pissed off he felt when Chanwoo came all the long way from his dorm just because to see Hanbin. How Chanwoo would always stay with him and follow him around 24/7 like a lost puppy.
He can never forget what he said about that boy; the boy he had been known since his 12th grade in high school to his two best friends. All the words he used to express how he hated it whenever Chanwoo came to him and acting as if they were somewhat an inseparable twin or something. He kept cursing and muttering bad things about him until Jinhwan had to smack his head scolding him that it is not nice to treat your own best friend that way. At that time, Hanbin had not realize how important that simple word best friend was and he was too oblivious to know how strong the word hate was.
A sudden gush of guilt comes washing down on him. He feels bad for having such a thought about Chanwoo, for saying all the stupid things that he shouldn’t have say. Remembering himself from the few months ago makes him feels like jumping down from the Namsan Tower to his death.
“Uh, Mic check one two, is B.I still there?” Hanbin eventually wakes up from his second reverie of the hour after hearing Bobby calling for his alias name out loud. “Oh please, stop giving me that all sort of confused face. I know you remember it so well.” Bobby teases on him, the bunny smile returns to his face.
“Shut up, hyung. That’s all in the past. And besides, I don’t hate him.” Hanbin says trying to defense himself.
“No, you don’t hate him of course. But you obviously don’t like him.” Bobby’s words only end up with him receiving a glare from Hanbin. Feeling the annoyance rising to another level, he kicks the older out from his room, shooing him out like a chicken. After much effort –with a few macaroni scattering on the floor adding up the mess it already has–, he manages to push Bobby to the door and shut it before the older nose. He hears Bobby cursing from the outside saying something about himself being a ‘double-faced’ and a ‘stupid unfriendly kid, good for nothing brat’ before he shuffles into his room. Hanbin let Bobby go for this time, sighing in relief after getting rid of a nuisance.
He spends the entire night writing a new song to feed up his entire pent up unstable emotions while thinking about what Bobby had said earlier. “I don’t hate him.” He says to himself with all the words in black staring at him from the screen of the laptop. Before he knows it, the white paper fills with his own created words is gone replaced by a picture of a two young boys all smiling up for the camera. Unconsciously, he has his fingers ghosting over the screen imaginary touching the face of the boy who becomes the topic of his conversation with Bobby earlier. The boy who is no longer chasing after him but is leaving behind an empty void in Hanbin’s life that is impossible for anyone to fill.
“Why would you suddenly change?” The touch on the screen suddenly feels like burning