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It feels unreal.

Just last night he was so happy being with Kai at the comfort of his own house, and now…

Now.

Jongin is reading over a document spread out onto the desk, hair styled and suit fitting over his body immaculately. He looks every bit the handsome President as ever, but all Sehun sees when he watches are shades of red, blue, swirling chaos.

“Is there anything else, Secretary Oh Sehun?” the older prompts when Sehun has not left after handing him the files.

“I… would like to talk to you about something.”

Jongin flips over another page, places a bookmark there before looking up, and everything he does is so precise, so impeccable. It had been a trait of the other man that had always fascinated Sehun, but now is only making him more suspicious.

“Sure. What is it?”

Sehun doesn’t even know where to begin to ask about this.

How would he?

But Sehun isn’t the type to put things off. Isn’t the type to shift responsibilities around. Not for something as huge as this.

So he says, “I want to talk about… five years ago.”

“Five years ago?”

“Yes. You said… You said you knew me five years ago. From when I came to your house with Kai, even though I didn’t know about you.”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t know about you, but you knew about me,” Sehun reaffirms.

“Where are you going with this? I’m busy, Secretary Oh. Get to the point.”

Sehun narrows his eyes. “You told me you had something like a―a crush on me.”

“It’s a thing of the past―”

“But you did, didn’t you? You liked me back then, right?”

The other blinks slowly, as if processing Sehun’s words before replying, “Yes. I told you, I was… locked up in my room. I couldn’t go out. I didn’t meet many people. So it should come as no surprise, then, that I did grow to like one of the few people I constantly see from the window of my room.”

Normally, Sehun would feel sad for Jongin. His life had been truly unfair, and seeing how his parents had treated Jongin in front of Sehun’s eyes only confirmed the fact that he was the black sheep of the family.

Sehun had wanted to help Jongin through this, to let him know he wasn’t as loveless as he assumed he is, back then.

But now…

There are only poundings in his head, getting louder and louder.

“You and Kai are… twins…” Sehun begins, voice but a whisper. “And I didn’t know… didn’t know about you, at all, back then. Did you ever―”

“Sehun―”

Sehun’s throat is clogged up, and his knees feel weak, like they want to collapse on him, but he needs to do this―to push through, because this has been bugging him since last night, to the point where he couldn’t even appreciate his special moment with Kai, because―

“Jongin, did you ever pretend you were Kai in front of me?”

There. The question is out. Sehun’s hands are shaking by his sides, but his eyes are only on the other man. Needs to know the answer―

Jongin is still, blinking once, twice, expression entirely blank, when he speaks, “Why are you asking this?”

“Just answer the question!”

“Why? Why would that even be a question?” At this, Jongin stands up, walks around his desk to stand directly in front of Sehun, a few spaces away. “What brought this on?”

“Jongin―”

“Did something happen?” He takes a step forward, and Sehun scrambles to take a step back.

“I swear to god―”

“Is it Kai? Did he regain his memories?”

“Jongin, just answer―”

Sehun’s taking so many steps backward in panic that his back hits the wall, and the older can probably see how badly he’s trembling right now, for he stops. Speaks in a quiet tone. “What is the answer you are hoping to hear?”

“H―Huh?”

“Something obviously had to happen for you to ask me this, for you to even fathom this possibility. So what is the answer you’re seeking for?”

Jongin is waiting for his reply with a so