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Jongin is clicking his pen absentmindedly as he sits in his office, staring at the documents on the desk but not really reading. It’s quiet in the room save for the tickticktick of the clock, and it feels suffocating for some reason.

Unconsciously, he lifts his hand up to palm at his left cheek, feeling the ghost of the bruise so long ago.

Long ago… yes, five years ago…

Back then…

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Jongin definitely doesn’t expect the first thing after he opens the main door to the Kim mansion to be a punch in the face, force so strong it knocks him backwards, crashing straight into the table nearby. The maid come rushing in at the commotion, but upon seeing Kai’s livid face glaring down straight at his twin, she takes a step back and lowers her head, not daring to interfere.

Because Kai’s words are the law in the house, and no one would risk his displeasure.

Even though Jongin is spitting out blood onto the carpet, clearly injured.

Because no one in this house would choose to defy Kai for Jongin.

“What’s with you opening the door so quickly?” Kai is saying as he stands over his brother, who is lying on the ground, just barely sitting up. “Think Sehun is going to walk through the door again? Huh?”

Jongin’s eyes widen before dropping his gaze, understanding the reason for the punch just now. “How long have you been home?”

“Long enough to see all the you did!” Kai growls, taking a threatening step towards him. “I knew it was weird when I caught you looking at the picture of Sehun and me that one time. Did you spy on all the times he came here? Were you just lying in wait for your chance all this time?”

“It’s not like that―”

“Yeah? Then what is like that?” Kai questions, crouching over Jongin and pulling him by the collar of his shirt, snarling right into his face. “Because it seems to me you like your own brother’s boyfriend!”

Silence.

“Not going to deny it? You sick ! I knew there’s been something wrong with you all this time, the way you’re always brooding in your room. The way you’ve always looked at everything with such disdain. How can you be after your brother’s boyfriend? Not with the way you’ve been silently stalking him all this time!”

“And you think you’re much better?” Jongin snaps back. “I know you’re planning to leave. You’re planning to leave Sehun! You say you love him, but you’re going to leave him! Sehun deserves someone better than you!”

“Shut up, you don’t know anything!” Kai screams, tightening his grip on Jongin’s collar, which chokes him as a result.

The older boy huffs, letting go and throwing Jongin back onto the floor when the latter starts a coughing fit, one hand clutching onto his chest in pain.

Jongin can’t breathe―it hurts―it’s painful―this feeling of so close to dying but never severe enough to actually let him die―

This ing illness―

There’s a click of the door opening again and their mother steps in, just gotten home. She maneuvers over the broken decorations and upturned table, walking towards the source of the racket.

“What’s with all the commotion, Kai?” she questions to the back of her son before noticing a second person behind him. “Oh, Jongin. You went out of your room?”

“Unfortunately,” Kai retorts, glaring at the boy who is still a coughing mess on the ground.

Their mother simply sighs, staring at her younger son with exasperation and no signs of concern on her face. “Why did you go out, Jongin? You know your body’s not strong enough for this. It can’t take inhaling all the dust particles and the strain of walking around too much.”

You’re wrong, Jongin wants to say. He had just been out and about with no problems whatsoever. He even went outside. He had been getting better. It wasn’t until Kai came in and strained his body that this is happening again.

But Jongin knows there’s no point. For one, his mother wouldn’t care in the first place, and secondly, that would be a slight against Kai which would only serve to make her mad.

“Your heart and lungs are about to shrivel up any time. Are you trying to speed up the process? Honestly,” their mother clicks her tongue, crossing her arms in annoyance. “Maerim,” she calls the maid who is still bowing a far distance away, afraid. “Take Jongin back to his room. And where’s butler Howang? Why did he let Jongin out? The lock is on the door for a reason!”

Jongin wipes a palm over his sweaty forehead as he stares at all the blood on the ground.

He is coughing up blood again. Right. No big deal.

“Seriously, you guys were born minutes off each other!” Their mother flicks her hair, sitting down onto the couch as she watches the maid help Jongin get up and guide him away. “But Kai is such a perfect, healthy child and you are so useless! You do nothing but waste our money day in and day out with your hundreds of treatments and medications! You can’t even take one step outside without hacking your lungs out! You can’t go to school, let alone do anything of note and contribute to this family. We might as well only have one son!”

Jongin looks away as he walks quickly, not wanting to be here on one of their mother’s many tirades about what a worthless son he is, tainting the prestigious Kim name.

He is stopped by a grip on his shoulder.

“You better keep your dirty paws off of Sehun,” Kai is hissing, glaring at Jongin’s hands in disdain. When the younger follows his gaze to see the