160207 Saturday

“I don’t think I’ll ever like him that way.”

Chanyeol thinks.

This feels like a repeat of Aimi, where he thought about spending his life with her instead of with Baekhyun, mostly because he thought Baekhyun wouldn’t ever like him that way. He’s thinking the same thing now. Not because he wants to move on (because even if he does want to move on, he doesn’t think he ever will, at least not completely), but because he can give at least one person happiness, even if he himself will never be as happy as he can be.

And this time, the weight of it is even heavier, because Chanyeol knows for a fact now that he’s not in Baekhyun’s heart. And without Baekhyun, he can still be happy, but not entirely, mostly because he’ll never really get over him.

Once upon a time, when Chanyeol wasn’t in love, he might’ve been able to move on and find other things that made him smile. Now, it’s so different.

“I want to try with Kyungsoo.” Chanyeol says into the darkness. Even though Baekhyun’s not here anymore, Chanyeol is starting to find comfort in Jungsoo. “I think it’s time I stop pushing him away.” This time, Jungsoo’s reply is fast.

“But –”

“I still love Baekhyun.” Chanyeol interrupts. “And that won’t change. Maybe it’ll fade away a little … But maybe I can make Kyungsoo happy instead.”

“Hyung, that’s not –”

“I wanted a chance, too.” Chanyeol says. “I wanted a chance with him, and I got it. I’m happy for  that, and I’m thankful for that.” Jungsoo is silent. “And I want to … give Kyungsoo a try, because hey, I used to like him once upon a time.”

“Who knows? Maybe if I stay long enough with Kyungsoo, I might start liking him.” Chanyeol stares at the wall. “Even though I’ll always love Baekhyun, I might grow to love Kyungsoo too. I’ll love them both, but I’ll learn to choose only Soo. I think –”

“No.” Jungsoo’s voice is firm. Chanyeol turns, watching as the outline of Jungsoo sits up amongst the darkness. “Don’t do it.”

“Why not?” Chanyeol asks, confused.

“Don’t.” Jungsoo says. “Just … don’t.”

“Do you want me to stay like this forever? Mourning someone who’ll never look at me?” Chanyeol sounds angry and hurt and confused.

“Trust me.” Jungsoo says quietly. “Trust me, hyung.”

That’s what Baekhyun said. Chanyeol thinks bitterly. Even so, the thought itself is starting to sound ridiculous. How did he even think of such a stupid thing? Trying out with Kyungsoo? Ha! He doesn’t think Kyungsoo would even accept him at this point.

As if on cue, his ringtone interrupts him.

Dumbfounded, Chanyeol reaches over and picks it up.

“Hello?” It’s on speaker.

“Chanyeol.” Kyungsoo greets. “I know you might be … I know you might be thinking of dating me.” Chanyeol’s eyes widen and he turns to Jungsoo. Jungsoo’s eyes are just as wide.

“But I don’t need your pity. I don’t need you to do that.”

“…Soo?”

“I want to date someone who can love me. Someone who genuinely wants to be with me. Not someone who wants to give me happiness but not give himself a chance to be happy.” Chanyeol’s heart is swelling at Kyungsoo’s words.

“Do you get me? Chanyeol?”

“Yeah …”

“Which is why I’m not dating Jongin. I won’t leave him hanging.”

“Yeah, I understand.” Chanyeol whispers. “Please, Kyungsoo. Jongin is a good man. You have to at least look at him.” There is silence on the other line.

“You say all that, but you’re not giving yourself happiness, Soo.” Chanyeol says softly. “I know you can love him. Somehow, something inside me tells me that you can love him like that. You just … You’re just afraid of being rejected again, aren’t you?”

“I’m sorry, Soo. I’m really sorry for doing that, but I know Jongin will make you happy.” He whispers. “He won’t ever leave you hanging.”

Then Chanyeol hangs up without waiting for Kyungsoo to answer. Because Kyungsoo tends to answer thinking he knows how he truly feels. Because if he hangs up, then he’ll give Kyungsoo some time to think. Otherwise, Kyungsoo will become angry again and stop talking to him and he’ll have to go through the whole process of feeling guilty and wanting to apologise again.

He can see it though. Kyungsoo’s eyes are always so gentle whenever he talks to Jongin. He loves taking care of Jongin and he loves to shower him with attention. Whether that’s brotherly love or something else, Chanyeol knows that Kyungsoo will be able to love him as a man one day.

“So? Mind clear now?” Jungsoo asks. Chanyeol huffs and hides under his blankets.

“Shut up.” He mutters.

The next person that looks for Chanyeol is Jongin.

He hasn’t talked to Chanyeol in a long time, mostly because he had been thinking. Thinking about two of his best friends. Thinking about Baekhyun’s past. Thinking about Chanyeol’s loyalty. Thinking about Baekhyun’s character.

“Jongin?” Chanyeol blinks as Jongin walks in.

“Tell me what happened again. That week.” Jongin says as he sits down on the bed. Throat dry, Chanyeol can only settle down on his bed. He doesn’t even know why he’s doing it, but he does it. He tells Jongin again, trying to remember exactly what Joo Sung had said back then and how exactly it hurt Baekhyun.

When he finishes, Jongin is thinking intensely. Chanyeol has never seen Jongin do that before. Jongin isn’t simple-minded, but he liked to make things simpler because he always thought it was pointless to complicate things.

Jongin looks conflicted. The conflict is never gone from Chanyeol’s life these days, always there ever since Baekhyun had left him. He seems to see it everywhere. He knows he’s supposed to hate it, but he’s starting to get used to it.

“Jongin?” He mutters, wondering what his best friend is thinking. He’s hoping that Jongin won’t start up the ‘Don’t you go depressed on me’ again, because Chanyeol is getting better. Sure, there are days where he would get distracted with the thought of Baekhyun and not be able to function for the rest of the day, but it’s definitely been better than when it all started.

“I … I have a feeling.” Jongin finally talks. Chanyeol leans in, eager to listen. “I just … I just have this feeling.”

“Hm?” Confusion and curiosity slides into his voice as Chanyeol blinks. Suddenly, Jongin turns and looks him in the eyes, the very first time he has done so since he entered the room. Chanyeol is so surprised he flinches and backs away by instinct, but Jongin grabs his shoulders to steady him.

“I think you should believe in Baekhyun-hyung.” Jongin whispers softly. “I think you should get him back.”

“Huh?” Chanyeol is struck dumb. Is Jongin delusional? “Uh, Jongin …”

“Trust me.” Jongin whispers. Now where had Chanyeol heard that before? “Trust me, Chanyeol, and trust in Baekhyun.”

“I trust him, Jongin. What are you talking about?”

“Believe in him, then.” Jongin says. Somehow, even though Jongin is sprouting nonsense, his eyes are lively, as if there is something motivating him – as if he truly believes what he’s saying is true. “I’m sure he loves you more than anything.”

Chanyeol’s heart skips a beat.

“I’m sure he loves you.” Jongin continues. “He’s my best friend, Chanyeol. Don’t question me.”

“What…?” The terrible thing called Hope seeps into Chanyeol slowlly, and he closes his eyes because he doesn’t want to have them crushed again. Jongin’s eyes are so mesmerising and intimidating, though, and he can feel them burn through his eyelids. He laughs nervously. “Jongin, don’t –”

“Hyung is stronger than that.” Jongin continues, confidence in his tone. “He won’t fall into the same trap twice.”

“What makes you think it’s a trap?” Chanyeol asks, slightly annoyed and very fearful for his own heart.

“Love is a trap.” Jongin says. “Baekhyun-hyung is through with him. He had been for a long time, Chanyeol, I’m sure. Believe me, Chanyeol.” But Chanyeol’s pulling away, shaking his head. He doesn’t want to think about it. He doesn’t want to believe it.

He’s afraid of getting hurt again. He’s terrified of hoping and then having those hopes crushed, just like the day he saw Baekhyun sneaking out to talk to Joo Sung, like he loved no one else in the world.

“He has a motive, Chanyeol.” Jongin’s voice is rising. “He loves you, Chanyeol.”

“Stop.” Pain throbs along with every beat of Chanyeol's heart. It’s coming back. The sharpness is coming back. “Baekhyun’s been strong for too long, Jongin. He’s too in love with Joo, can’t you see that?” Jongin shuts his mouth.

“I want Baekhyun to be happy.” Chanyeol’s voice cracks. He doesn’t want to break down, not now. Not after how much ing effort he took to get out of that hole. “I … I just want him to be happy. I know you want me to be happy too, but this is not the way to do it.”

“No, it’s –”

“I want him to be happy, and I think Joo Sung can give him that.” Chanyeol steps towards the door, as if this entire room is burning him. “Baekhyun … Baekhyun took three years to cry in front of me, Jongin. It took him a few days.”

Jongin is silent.

“He’s happy with Joo Sung. I … I think this is what he’s always wanted. So be happy for him, Jongin. I’m fine.” Chanyeol’s voice breaks at the last word, and, not knowing what else to do, he flees, terrified that if he stays a moment longer, he’ll start hoping again like an idiot, and sink back into the hole that he had just escaped from.

Jongin stares at the ground where Chanyeol had been a few seconds earlier.

“He’s happy with Joo Sung.” Chanyeol had said, with such sincerity in his eyes. As if he really believes it. Jongin doesn’t.

“But don’t you see?” Jongin whispers sadly to the empty air. “He’s happiest when he’s with you.”

What the is going on with everybody?

Just when Chanyeol is improving and slowly accepting the fact that Baekhyun is happier with someone else, everyone has to say things that make him think about Baekhyun, again and again and again.

He wants to forget Baekhyun. He genuinely wants to let go of his feelings for Baekhyun, no matter how impossible it seems.

But he’ll never be free.

“Trust me.” Jungsoo had said.

“Trust me.” Jongin had said.

“Trust him.” Jongin had said.

“Trust me.” Baekhyun had said.

Why? Just what the hell is going on?

Why does he feel like someone’s not telling him something? Why the hell does it feel like someone’s hiding something from him?

But who is it? Who the hell knows something he doesn’t?

And why the hell would they say that? Chanyeol trusts them. Chanyeol can trust them, so what do they mean by that?

It’s so goddamn confusing.

Or are they mocking him, forcing him to think about Baekhyun again, the one who started it all?

About to punch himself for overthinking, his phone vibrates in his pocket. He takes it out and answers it.

“Hello?”

“It’s me.” Chen’s serious voice replies. “I want to talk to you.”

First Kyungsoo, then Jongin, and now Chen?

“Yeah.” Chanyeol replies gruffly. “I’ll go to your room.”

When he does, he walks in, finding Kris wearing a face mask. Again.

“As if you don’t have a boyfriend already.” Chanyeol mutters. “Gosh, stop being so narcissistic.”

“That’s the first thing you say to me after ignoring me for days?” Kris raises an eyebrow – or, Chanyeol thinks he raised his eyebrow. “Anyway, I have stricter routines now, because I have to look good for Joonmyun.” He wags his eyebrows – or, Chanyeol thinks he wagged his eyebrows.

It’s crazy. Back then, no one would think Kris and Joonmyun would ever date.

And now they’re the longest lasting couple.

“I’m gonna be your best man when you have your wedding.” Chanyeol mutters. Kris seems to be a little bit shy.

“Aw, c’mon, Chanyeol, I haven’t even thought about that yet …”

“As if.” A new voice sounds from the bathroom. Joonmyun is crossing his arms. “He proposes to me every day.”

“That’s because you’re my only one!” Kris shouts, arms outstretched. Joonmyun rolls his eyes, but smiles as he walks into Kris’s embrace. Chanyeol doesn’t have the chance to feel any more awkwardness, because the door opens and Chen walks in, a scowl on his face.

“I’m talking to Chanyeol.” He says. “Get out, Kris.”

“This is my room too!” Kris replies, pouting. Then he turns to Joonmyun. “Back me up, baby!”

“Let’s go, Kris.” Joonmyun mutters, pulling himself out of his boyfriend’s grasp and instead starts pulling his boyfriend up too. Kris is protesting, but Joonmyun is relentless as he drags Kris out of this room. It’s probably because of the intimidating look Chen had shot at them. The Dae Look, if Chaneyol remembers correctly.

When the door closes, Chen turns to Chanyeol.

“I don’t know what the hell you’re thinking.” Chen says. He sounds angry and stressed and worried. “But I still don’t trust that guy.”

“But he’s the one Baekhyun wants, and –” Chanyeol stops himself, letting his body fall over Kris’s bed. He’s always defending Joo Sung. For what reason, exactly? “And he looked so genuine and sincere when he talked to Baekhyun. I … I could see how in love they were.” Chanyeol chokes.

“You know why?” Chen’s eyes are wide as he stares down at Chanyeol. “Do you ing know why you believe so strongly in that?” Chanyeol, taken aback, shrinks backwards on the bed. Even though Chen is heaps shorter, he has an aura that is overpowering Chanyeol’s right now, the Dae Look strong and intimidating.

“You don’t know, do you?” Chen huffs. “Because I do.”

“…” Chanyeol sits back up. Chen is so scary when he’s angry.

“It’s because you see the best in others.” Chen says. Chanyeol blinks. “Your eyes are ed up, Chanyeol. You think everyone around you has more goodness in their heart than bad, and that’s why you saw them like that. You saw the sincerity in that er because you want to believe that pure evil doesn’t exist. You saw the love in their eyes because you think the world is full of love. You’re just that kinda person.”

“In many cases, it’s good to think like that. In many cases, it’s great to be such a positive person, but in this case, it’s not. It’s only disillusioning you this time, Chanyeol, and you’re too dumb to realise it.” Chanyeol blinks, still taken aback.

“Not everyone is a good person.” Chen continues. “It’s so hard to meet someone who only wishes for the best for everyone, and sees the best in everyone.” He turns to Chanyeol, eyes gentler this time. “Except for you. You’re very rare, you know that?”

“…Uh…”

“You’re pure. You’re so pure you fail to see the evil in others. You don’t even realise that, when you talked about what happened, he actually sounded like a ing trickster to me.” Chen says. “Because no matter how biased you sound, I can’t accept that he’s only here because he loves Baekhyun.  I can’t accept the fact that he’s come here just for that reason.” Chanyeol sighs, suddenly frustrated.

“Why the hell does everyone think –”

“Baekhyun is probably in love with him.” Chen cuts in. Chanyeol stops, heart thumping painfully. “He might still love him after all these years. Baekhyun might’ve probably genuinely broke up with you because of that. And if that’s true, then he’s an and I’ll punch him when I see him.”

“But that guy … he’s back, and not for good reasons.” Chen says. “So I’m not trusting Baekhyun around him. I think Baekhyun is old enough to take care of himself, but I’m still worried. For now, I talked to Jungsoo and I wanted him to look after Baekhyun, which he promised he’d do. In the meantime, I’m also going to watch over him and try to contact him and pull his back here before anything bad happens.”

“What if you got it all wrong?” Chanyeol asks. Part of him wants to believe in everything these guys have said, because then he’d have the courage to get Baekhyun back. But he’s so afraid.

So afraid that he’d be wrong again.

“Then you can fry me.” Chen says, and then his face splits into a grin. Now he looks more like himself, other than the fact he still looks tense.

“Fry me, but after I punch the hell out of Byun Baekhyun.”

His phone vibrates in his pocket.

Without thinking too much about it, Chanyeol takes it out, reading the message. He freezes in his spot.

Unknown: Meet me at the back at 6.

Unknown: To talk about Baekkie.

How did he get this number? Chanyeol stares at ‘Unknown’, wondering what the hell Joo Sung wants.

Does he want something from Chanyeol?

Feeling uneasiness claw at his stomach, he grips his phone tightly and shoves it back in his pocket. The words from Jongin and Chen float into his mind.

“Baekhyun has a motive.”

“I don’t trust him.”

Still. Baekhyun will be there. After all, this is about the three of them, right?

When everyone heads down for dinner, Chanyeol decides to use that time to sneak to the back. Jungsoo enters the room just as he is about to leave.

“Where’re you going?” Jungsoo asks light-heartedly with a grin. Chanyeol tries not to act suspicious.

“Dinner.” He mutters.

“Oh.” Jungsoo looks around the room, then looks back up at him. “I have homework. Can you … uh, tell the others that I won’t be there?” He lets out a sheepish smile. “I forgot to do my homework … again.” Chanyeol nods absentmindedly, then leaves. It’s not strange for Jungsoo to forget to do things. After all, even though he’s joined their group for the time being, he’s hardly there at all, always doing his own thing.

Skipping dinner, he heads there straightaway. He never thinks about bringing anyone because he feels like it’s only between two of them. He never thought about his own safety because he doesn’t think Joo Sung would do anything to him in such an environment especially with Baekhyun there. He doesn’t think about the consequences, because he’s thinking about the possibility of seeing Baekhyun again. He wants to see Baekhyun, whether Baekhyun is standing by him or not. He wants to hear Baekhyun’s voice, whether he’s talking to him or not.

He tears through the garden, running fast because he’s finally going to see Baekhyun again. Even if they say hurtful words to him (as in, showing their love for each other, which he knows is inevitable), he doesn’t care anymore.

When he turns the corner, no one is there. Panting, he holds onto his knees, head thrown forwards as he catches his breath.

“Chanyeol.” A smooth voice calls. Chanyeol looks up, heart racing. His hopeful eyes narrow when he doesn’t see who he wants to see.

“Where’s Baekhyun?” Chanyeol asks, heart sinking.

“He’s not here.” Joo Sung replies calmly. “I wanted us to talk. Just the two of us.”

“What do you want to talk about?” Chanyeol asks tiredly. Joo Sung’s gaze on him seems to him so intimidating.

“I love Baekhyun.” Joo Sung declares. “I love him, and he undoubtedly loves me back.” Chanyeol can feel his heart wrenching.

“I know that.” Chanyeol mutters bitterly. “I know, and I won’t come in between the two of you.”

“But who knows that for sure?” Joo Sung cuts in. “How do I know that you’re not going to come in one day and steal him away?”

“You have my word.” Chanyeol mutters. “I only want him to be happy.” Joo Sung scoffs.

“That’s sweet.” He drawls. “And how do you show that?”

“What … do you mean?” Chanyeol looks up. He’s starting to think that Joo Sung is actually a jerk. “How else am I supposed to -”

“Let’s see how much you love him.” Joo Sung challenges. “Would you give the most precious thing you have to Baekkie?”

“Like … what?” Chanyeol narrows his eyes, confused.

“Like … Oh, use your brains, Chanyeol. You can’t be that stupid.” Chanyeol’s lips form a thin line as he thinks. His most precious thing …

“I’ve already given it to him.” Chanyeol declares. “He has it. My heart.” Joo Sung stares at him in disbelief. He opens his mouth in shock, stares at him like he’s the stupidest thing in the world, then crosses his arms.

“So romantic.” He mutters sarcastically. “I mean something real and solid. Something worthy.”

“I have no idea what -”

“The necklace you’re wearing, my dear.” Joo Sung cuts in, voice strained yet sounding strangely patient. “Baekkie wants your necklace.”

What? Chanyeol blinks stupidly, hand automatically reaching up to touch the thin silver. Why would Baekhyun want that?

“He told me he wanted you to give it to him. He didn’t want to face you because reasons. He said that you’d understand.” Joo Sung says, hand reaching out. “Come on.”

Immediately, Chanyeol inches back, because no, he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand why the hell Baekhyun would want this when he has enough money to manufacture his own. He knows Baekhyun knows this means a lot to him. Baekhyun can’t take everything from him.

Something’s not right here.

But then, how else does Joo Sung know about his necklace? Baekhyun must’ve told him then.

Betrayal claws itself into his throat. This necklace had been a secret to him. How could Baekhyun do that to him, just talk away like it meant nothing?

Just as he’s about to wrench it out of his neck and throw it at Joo Sung and never see them again, to throw all his anger out and resent Baekhyun and how he had betrayed so easily, he remembers.

“Trust me.” Baekhyun had said such a long time ago that Chanyeol had almost forgotten its meaning. “Trust me.”

Baekhyun wouldn’t do that. He’s not the type to.

Just like how Chanyeol had done so much to protect Baekhyun’s secrets, he’s sure Baekhyun would do the same. After all, that’s the Baekhyun he fell in love with.

Without a word, Chanyeol grips his necklace tightly and moves backwards.

“No.” Chanyeol shakes his head. “I won’t.”

“You don’t love Baekhyun enough?” Joo Sung tilts his head, watching him innocently. “Valuables mean more to you than he does?”

Chanyeol shakes his head. “This is not how you show your love. Love isn’t sacrifice.” He steps backwards, flinching when Joo Sung moves forward. Suddenly Joo Sung looks dangerous.

“G-Goodbye.” Chanyeol mumbles, and he yelps when he trips, falling backwards out of panic, hitting the floor, arms protective around his neck.

“We’re not done yet.” Joo Sung sounds strangely threatening. Then he smiles, a curve that looks strangely twisted on his face. “So how far has Baekkie gone with you?” Chanyeol says nothing, not wanting to fall into his trap. His trap that wants to bruise his heart. The older leans down until Chanyeol can feel his breath on his neck.

“We ed, Chanyeol-ah.” Joo Sung whispers in Chanyeol’s ear. “He loves screaming my name as I pound into him. Has he done that? Has he ever done that to you?” Chanyeol wants to push him away, but he’s afraid if he lets go, Joo Sung will go for his neck.

“We every day, and even when he’s tired, he wants it so bad …” Joo Sung continues. “Does he do it to you? He loves it when I mark him everywhere, loves to tell me he’s mine …”

“Why?” Chanyeol croaks, shutting his eyes and trying to forget the love-struck expression on Baekhyun’s face when he talked to Joo Sung that night. He doesn’t doubt it. He doesn’t doubt it at all. “Why do you keep comparing us?” Can’t you see I can’t compare to you? Joo Sung scowls.

“Because he loves me.” Joo Sung sneers. “He loves me more than he’ll love anyone. Not even you.”

So what? Chanyeol wants to shout, but he knows the answer. So everything. Baekhyun’s love is everything he wants.

“Are you jealous?” Joo Sung whispers. “Don’t you want Baekhyun to be happy?”

“Yes.” Chanyeol grits his teeth.

“Then make him feel worthy, Chanyeol-ah.” Joo Sung’s cold hand touches his cheek, moving down slowly to his neck. “Give him that necklace.” Chanyeol closes his eyes, clenching his fist around his neck like his life depends on it.

Never.

Suddenly, a voice from around the corner sounds in the air, making the both of them flinch.

“Aah … oppa, not here …” A girl moans.

“There’s no one around the back.” Comes a gruff voice. “Let’s go there.” Then there are sloppy sounds. Chanyeol looks up at Joo Sung, whose eyes look thunderous. The older then looks down at Chanyeol for one last time, then strides off the other side, leaving Chanyeol on the floor, panting and heart racing.

“Do it here …” A breathless voice grunts, and a man pops around the corner. Flushing, Chanyeol stands up just as the man pulls a girl over. Eyes lowered, Chanyeol quickly rushes towards them and past them, ignoring it when the girl shrieks in surprise.

“Don’t mind me …” Chanyeol mutters, covering his vision with his hand as he rushes away. When he finally arrives in the hallway to his dorm, he breathes out a sigh of relief, somehow feeling very safe and secure. He wonders why.

After all, Joo Sung can’t do anything to him. Joo Sung’s just a normal man who probably loves Baekhyun too much that it’s become possessive and protective. Right?

Still, the talk was so weird. Chanyeol feels as if Joo Sung wasn’t talking about Baekhyun at all.

Heart feeling uneasy, Chanyeol walks back to his room. He’s so frustrated because … because Joo Sung had described such an intimate thing between him and Baekhyun. Chanyeol doesn’t want to hear it. He shuts his eyes tightly, stopping in his tracks for a while. The problem was never about the ing, because Baekhyun had slept with so many guys and Chanyeol had been okay with that (or he could accept that it was something inevitable because it was, or had been, a part of Baekhyun). The problem was that Baekhyun loves Joo Sung and so to him, it isn’t just random . It never will be. Being continuously and thoroughly reminded of his true place in Baekhyun’s heart never does good to him, because it leaves him so pained.

Taking a deep breath, Chanyeol starts walking again. Never in his life had he felt so eager to return, even though usually he doesn’t return this early. He thinks about catching dinner with Jungsoo and drag him away from his homework, just this once. The door is slightly ajar so Chanyeol guesses Jungsoo is still in there, probably ready to go out. Just as he’s about to push open the door, though, he hears something that stops him.

“Baekhyun, don’t do it.” Jungsoo says, his voice clear in the evening air. Chanyeol stops immediately, leaning in to peek. Jungsoo is pressing his phone to his ear. “Wait for help.” Silence. It isn’t on speaker, so Chanyeol has no idea what the hell they’re talking about.

“You know how dangerous this is, right?” Jungsoo sounds panicked. “Wait for others to come, Baek.”

What the hell is going on? Chanyeol thinks to himself, heart thumping in his chest.

“You can’t handle it all by yourself. I don’t care whether he’s going to do it again, I want you to be safe first.”

What the is this?! Chanyeol panics. What the hell is going on with Baekhyun? Why does Jungsoo make it sound like Baekhyun’s not safe? Even though he’s rash when his feelings are out of control, something tells Chanyeol to stay where he is. He sees Jungsoo take a deep breath.

“Look, Baekhyun, if you don’t ing listen to me, I’ll tell Chanyeol.” He says. Tell me what?! “I’ll do it. I don’t care whether I work for you or whether you made me promise, I’ll tell him.” Silence. “Baekhyun? Baekhyun? !” Jungsoo throws his phone on Chanyeol’s bed and runs his hand through his hair.

Chanyeol has had enough of this.

He barges in. Jungsoo jumps in surprise, turning to look at him with wide, wide eyes. Eyes that look like the eyes of deer caught in the headlights.

“What the was that about?” Chanyeol growls, slamming the door behind him. Jungsoo winces from the loud blow.

“It’s …” Jungsoo’s wide eyes dart around, as if trying to look for a distraction. “It’s just … just a joke … hahahaha …” Chanyeol kicks off his shoes so harsh they rebound off the wall.

“Don’t with me, Jungsoo.” Chanyeol warns. “Tell me what the is going on.” Jungsoo stares at him, and for the first time Chanyeol truly sees how tired the younger looks – stress and worry creases his young face, and he looks just like how Chen had been after Chanyeol told him everything about Baekhyun.

“I … Fine.” Jungsoo stands up, the fear gone, replaced by defeat and … relief? His eyes look straight into Chanyeol’s, his expression almost pleading. “You have to understand why he’s doing this.”

“And … and what the hell is he doing?” Chanyeol demands, feeling so angry and confused at the same time. And also a sense of dread that won’t go away ever since Joo Sung had that talk with him. Jungsoo looks as if he needs Chanyeol to help him, as if he can’t do this all alone.

“He’s trying to protect you, Chanyeol.” Jungsoo whispers. “Baekhyun’s trying to protect you.”

Feel free to form your theories and guesses on the comments section. Next update is next week~