Jackson walked into his dorm, groceries in hand and music blasting in his ears. It was around 7 on a school night. Jackson had time on his hand so he ran some errands. Even went to the gym. The assignment Mark had reminded to do he finished over the weekend, so there was nothing urgent from his classes that needed his major attention at the moment.

Speaking of Mark. Jackson went through his phone, finding the latest message his hyung sent him.

Marki-pooh [10:56 AM]

Cant meet up today

Have classes in the afternoon today and then need to head to the library to get work done

Jackson understood Mark was busy. He couldn’t really complain about Mark not having time for him when he was the one who was avoiding the elder. But what’s bothering Jackson is the fact that Mark hadn’t suggested for them to meet up at some other time. Like he usually would. As if he didn’t want to meet up with Jackson at all.

And that thought made wasn’t setting well with Jackson so he was hopeful that wasn’t the case. The tables were flipped now. It was Jackson who was trying to get Mark’s attention while the elder avoided him.

When Jackson tried to meet up with the elder last Saturday after his meet up with Jinyoung, Mark texted him that he couldn’t. He later found out from Jinyoung that he hadn’t seen Mark at all during either the weekend, which is surprising because they are roommates.  

Jackson sighed and ran a hand through his hair, at a loss at what to do. He needed to talk to Mark. Like, ASAP. He first needed to get a hold of him. Why was Mark avoiding him? Did Jackson really take it too far and was now delusional for thinking that suddenly talking to Mark would mean all is ok?

Jackson’s phone rang and he looked down to see Jinyoung’s name flashing across the screen. He accepted the call and before he could say anything, Jinyoung was hurriedly talking on the other end.

“Mark’s in the apartment. I saw him walk in as I was leaving. I suggest you come over right now because who knows how longer he’s going to keep this up. Which might be a very long time, because this is Mark we’re talking about and being quite is like one of his best skills. Hello? Jackson? Can you hear me?”

“Yes yes, thank you Jinyoung, I’m going to head over right now.” Jackson replied and quickly said his goodbyes. He didn’t waste any more time, grabbing his keys and rushing out of his dorm. Mark and Jinyoung’s building was just a few minutes away from his.

Not even a few steps outside of his building did Jackson feel something wet drop on his forehead. He looked up at and noticed the dark clouds coloring the sky.  He debated running back in go get a jacket but didn’t have time nor the patience Jackson prayed the rain would hold off for a few more minutes.

But of course Jackson spoke too because a few seconds later, whatever was left of the light in the sky disappeared. The clouds seemed to accumulate by the second, and then began the downpour.

Great. Just great. Jackson tried jogging the rest of the way to Mark’s complex. It wasn’t a long journey, but by the time he’d reached his destination, his clothes were soaked and he was shivering uncontrollably. He could just imagine getting scolded by the elder for being so careless and the thought made him smile.

Ok, so, maybe enduring the rain isn’t so bad.

The butterflies were returning to Jackson’s stomach now as he neared Mark’s dorm. Out of nervous or excitement he didn’t know. But this was it. He was finally going to tell Mark the thing that’s been eating away at him for the past two weeks. He was going to come clean. Put himself out there.  

He held his breath and knocked on the door, and waited. The butterflies came back at full force once the door finally opened and out appeared the brunette.

Surprise, confusion, concern. Just some of the few emotions he saw flash across the Mark’s face as he took Jackson in. He didn’t look…particularly happy to see Jackson like he hoped he would.

“What are you doing here?” Mark asked, eyebrows furrowed but the rest of his face quite blank, abide of any emotion.

Ok. So no hi or hellos. No greeting. Ok. Ok. That’s alright. Jackson wasn’t going to be off the hook so easily. He’d figured much. He cleared his throat and looked up at his hyung, trying to make eye contact. “I-um, I needed to talk to you. And Jinyoung told me you were home so-“

“Jinyoung?” Mark raised one of his eyebrows at the mention of Jinyoung’s name and if Jackson didn’t know any better he’d think he sensed a hint of irritation.

“Yes Jinyoung. Hyung its really important that I talk to you now, about-why for the past few weeks-“

“What makes you think I want to hear what you’ve got to say? If you really cared about how I was feeling then you would’ve talked to me long ago.”

Jackson’s eyes widened slightly as the sentence he was going to say died in his mouth. Ok. Well... Damage control. DAMAGE CONTROL PRONTO, his brain screamed at him.

The butterflies in his stomach felt like blades now and spoke up again, trying to keep his voice even. “Hyung I know, please just let me explain-“.

“Jackson I really don’t have time right now, I just came back to my dorm to pick up a few things.” Mark interrupted. “The universe doesn’t revolve around your schedule. I have things to get done and I don’t have time to deal with your childish games.” Mark added.

He wasn’t yelling, or even raising his voice. But Jackson could hear the indifference in his tone and suddenly felt like a third person to Mark. Sure he’d expected Mark to be upset with him, even mad and stubborn, but he didn’t think the elder would cut him off before he even got to explain himself.

Hearing Mark calling Jackson out on his childish behavior suddenly made Jackson feel small. Quite literally like a child who disappointed an elder.

Jackson hung his head down, unable to keep looking Mark in the eyes. Seeing nothing but coldness in them. He felt a stinging behind his eyes and shut his eyes tightly because no way was he going to seem even more pathetic by making a show and crying in front of Mark.  

The butterflies-turned-blades in Jackson’s stomach were now gone, but they seemed to have migrated to his heart.

“I’m…I’m sorry.” Jackson managed to whisper out, not knowing if he was allowed to say anything else, or if Mark would listen.