Neurosis - 001 

I believe every single person in the world has a fear of something, but not everyone has a phobia. My grandmother once told me that only certain people have phobias. It’s a slight psychological disorder, an ongoing mental battle, and an unpreventable fate that was passed onto you from your past life.

I learned about being afraid as I grew up. Those who had a life before their current one would have a phobia and those who didn’t…don’t. Your fears are based off of what killed you in your previous life. There are some psychics in my neighborhood who can read palms, some can see into your future, and some can even tell you who just recently passed away but there is someone different out of all the psychics I’ve ever heard of, his name is Baekhyun.

His little shop is right down the road from my family’s chicken restaurant and many people go to him. He’s a one of a kind psychic, he can read you fears. Not everyone can go to Baekhyun, only those who have a phobia can and even though a lot of people are skeptical, this man can tell you what killed you in your past life whether you want to believe it or not. Some people walk out of there with a new understanding of their fears and some just think he’s plain crazy.

My mother was never a good cook, she hated being in the kitchen and more so, she hated knives. She is the only person in my household with a phobia besides…me. She is also the only one who was brave enough to ask Baekhyun for help.

“You’re afraid of knives.”

My mother sat in front of the fortune teller and nodded. “Y-Yes.”

“And it’s because…” Baekhyun leaned in and squinted his eyes a few times; he eyed her facial features and stole a glance at her palms. “Oh dear…”

“What is it? Why am I so afraid of them?”

Baekhyun sighed. “How you feel when you pick a knife up? Even if it’s wee little butter knife! You know those can do you no harm but for some reason, you still freak out when you pick one up, right?”

To which my mother just nodded again.

“Oh darling, I’m sorry to say this but…you were involved in a stabbing in your past life. It was a life threatening wound and it nearly killed you…you almost died from it. Well your wound got infected and then you got a fever.” Baekhyun rambled on and on. “They said the fever killed you but in reality, it was the knife wound. Goodness! That’s horrible!”

There are two types of people in town, those who believed Baekhyun and those who thought he was nuts. I thought the man was insane.

“Ah…and now you, Chaeyeon-“

“Don’t.”

I never found out the reason behind my fear, but that’s fine because I vow to fight it. I’m 26 years old and one year away from becoming a permanent resident at Samsung Medical Center. I’m not sure where I heard this from but I think the best way of getting over a fear or something you dislike is to understand it better. I took psychology in high school and enjoyed it up to the point where I desperately wanted to become a psychiatrist- and I did.

I wanted to help others who were always in a mental battle but themselves, I fix people who suffer from depression, OCD, trauma disorders, everything! The whole nine yards!

I’m a psychologist who can fix anyone but myself…

My name is Im Chaeyeon and I’m scared of falling in love. 

[a/n]: comments are much appreciated!