Chapter Thirty


Alternate ending


I went inside the plane and was guided as to where i was seated. It was like i was almost pulling my body towards the designated seat and just threw myself on it as soon as i arrived. I sat and remained unmoved, just silent and staring at nowhere for a good minute before i dropped my bag right on my foot and palmed my face in frustration. All along, my tears were falling like streams of water on my cheeks.


I could careless if people were staring at me like i'm a creep.


I could careless if people were whispering a lot of different stuff to others while looking at me.

I could careless if i was looking all stupid when i started sobbing on my palms.

I could never forget the face of Taeyeon when i turned my back on her and went towards the boarding gate.

A kind attendant went towards my seat and handed me a glass of water to which i blindly took since my eyes were full of tears and i can barely see. The person who sat beside me pulled down the little table and helped me settle the glass of water on it before i buried my face on my palms again and silently cried.

Were they looking at me because i look stupid? Were they looking at me because i look pitiful? Were they looking at me because they're wondering what happened? Were they looking at me so they can share to other people who weird that person they were with on the plane that was crying her eyes out?

The fact that i left Taeyeon on the Airport all alone broke my heart. That i won't have the chance to take care of her anymore. That any moment, someone could replace me and make her forget of the memories we made. The fact that in no time, i'd just be a good memory of her. I didn't know if meeting her was for good.

When i met her. I felt like i was the luckiest person alive and that it was something i would hold on to until i go old and gray but now, it's making me think that if i didn't meet her, i would just be that same fan of her that can only ogle at her from the screen of my phone.

It won't feel this bad.


It won't hurt this bad.

It hurts so much.

It hurts knowing that i cannot be with the person that i love anymore. That i was just a spur of the moment.

The pain made me numb and it made me think of a lot of different things.

Did she love me because i was there for her for a few days?

Did she love me because i made her happy for a short time?

Did she love me as her fan?

Did she love me because she truly does?

All the question, all the confusion, all the doubt came into me. And i couldn't stop them from coming. The sadness added for me to think like this. I was doubting my love for her and her love for me.

But our moments together were something that is unforgettable, it is something someone will remember for a long time and will smile at the memory.

At one point in life,

I made Kim Taeyeon happy. I love her. And feels the same for me.

I rested my head against the window of the plane