“We’re friends right?”

Why is she asking me this? Yes, we’ve been friends for over three months now, doesn’t she know how to count? I absently looked at her in confusion but gave a curt nod immediately. I couldn’t read her mind right now, she looked somewhat sad or is it? I am not quite sure of what that expression tells. All I know is that. . . I hate seeing her with such face.

“You know. . . just this morning when I was out, a. . . a guy friend uhm. . . kind of asked me out.” She then mutters. Guy? A guy asked her out? Somehow, I didn’t know how to respond to that. I couldn’t figure it out. Whatever I felt the moment she said those words. . . was a first for me. I just looked at her still absently, my mind was all blank for the first time.

It feels as if my tongue had been glued onto my palate.

I don’t. . . know.

All I know is that I feel weak all around my body right now.

I didn’t even realize myself that I gave a nod immediately. It was an automatic respond that even I couldn’t tell if was sincere or not. “So uh. . . we’re going out to watch a movie. Tomorrow afternoon. It’s like a. . . date.” She adds.

I need to compose myself because I don’t even know why I’m being like this deep inside of me.

I turn my head down to her low table by the couch we were sitting at, my eyes darting down my mug of coffee. It somewhat gave even just a tad bit of relieve to move my sight away from hers. But like I said, just a tad bit. Whatever this is, I don’t like it. I don’t like even a single feeling of it. “I-it’s alright with you?” She speaks again and I could see from my peripheral view that she was trying to peek at my face.

That made me grab my mug abruptly and take a sudden sip which even I didn’t expect. My tongue burned but I acted unaffected as I gulp in the strong taste of the coffee. As I gulp it in, I finally had the heart to turn to her. “Yes, of course. Which movie are you going to watch? Is there a new one?” I ask.

I am honestly not interested to know.

I just needed to ask.

There is no apparent reason, at least for what I know.

She looks away from me while smiling and muffling. “Maybe. . . W-whatever movie, maybe the new ones there. A-as long as we w-watch it together right? He’s. . . he’s a nice guy. A-and. . . a fun one.” She tells and I feel my fingers gripping tighter onto the handle of the mug. Suddenly, she stands up while chuckling. “Anyway~ I need to have my beauty sleep for tomorrow. I’m p-pretty excited. Sorry, could you go home now?” She adds and glances down at me with her excited grin.

She’s excited.

For a guy.

I am not that guy.

She called it a date.

What is this.

For the past three months, a certain heat has always been reaching my face, my stomach and my chest area but it’s just now that this heat didn’t actually feel good. As far as I am concerned, it always felt good to have this heat, but now I am currently hating its every sensation.

It is hurting my system. Every inch of it.  

I take a stand as well and drank the remaining content of my mug in one shot and my already burned tongue got that painful touch of the liquid again, that I already feel numb. “H-hey, it’s hot.” I hear her muffle in concern whilst I drinking but I just went on until I finished the whole mug. Once I was done, a deep hiss of air came out of my mouth.

It was very painful.

The tongue, I mean.

“Thanks for the coffee. I don’t want to be disrespectful and leave it full.” I speak while breathing hard. “Y-yeah, sure.” She answers back and turn her sight away from me immediately. “Bye