I'm Sick
Mind Over Matter (Kyungsoo's POV)
“Iseul, I bought home some food.” I speak as I enter the house. Yohan, as expected, came running to me right away and so I lift him up while holding the bag of food with my free hand. I walk to the kitchen and of course, she was there drinking coffee. “I-Iseul.” I call. I know I’ve been sounding really scared and hesitant for the past four days and I can’t even control it. “I bought. . . food.” I lift the bag and she gave me a simple nod before getting off the high chair.
She walked to me and grabbed the bag.
“How’s your hand?” I ask but she already walked back to the kitchen top and began taking the food out. “It’s okay.” She meekly answers, I am actually lucky to still get these simple responds from her. Other than that, all I get is coldness. “D-did you drink your medicine?” I ask and this time, she just gave me a nod without looking. She hasn’t been making eye-contact with me and it’s really damaging my mentality in an imaginable way.
“Yohan-ah, come. Appa bought your favorite.” She signals our son and so I put him down to let him go to his mom. “I’ll put this on a plate. Go to the dining area now.” Iseul speaks and it is weird that I felt so much relieve that she actually spoke to me first. I give a quick nod before walking to the dining area just as she liked. For the past few days, I couldn’t chat with her during meals like the usual thing we would do.
Although I still try sometimes but it feels like I’m talking to myself.
Like right now, I can’t even tell her I don’t feel well physically.
She arrived at the dining area with Yohan who was helping her hold the spoons and chopsticks, she was holding the platter of food. “Give Appa the spoon and chopsticks.” Iseul orders Yohan who quickly skipped towards me and gave me the utensils. I ruffle his hair as I take it before glancing at Iseul. “Yeobo. . . I’m sorry if I’m busy nowadays. You know we’re preparing for the examinations.” I try to open a conversation but then she only gave me a simple nod before sitting down.
But unlike the usual, she didn’t sit across me, she sat on the other side by the edge of the table at my left. She drags Yohan’s baby chair there instead. “A-anyway. . . Christmas is approaching; do you have any plans?” I ask. A few days before Christmas, I’ll begin fixing the bake shop I got for her. It’s already renovated and all, I just have to do the finishing touches which I prefer to do myself with perhaps the help of some few friends later on. “Yea, I plan to sleep all day. Can I?” She asks, somehow, in a mocking way. I blink and look away receiving such scoff from her. “W-we’re going to celebrate it like always. You know th—“I know. That was obviously a joke. As if I can control myself in such occasions, or in a daily basis? You’re the boss.” She scowls back. Her words stabbing me right on the chest.
“Okay. . .” I answer fleetingly this time. I usually dominate in this relationship but right now, everything that she’s been giving me is making me so frail.
The whole meal time? It was horrible. If it wasn’t for Yohan’s lively chants and giggles while eating, it would be the worst kind of meal I’ve ever had. None of us, husband and wife, talked unless it’s to Yohan who kept on asking a lot of questions. Also, that’s the only time I actually saw Iseul’s sincere smile and grins – only that, it wasn’t for me but for our son alone.
After dinner, I went straight into our bedroom while Iseul washes Yohan up. Sitting on my chair by my desk, I stare at my laptop blankly, trying to figure out what has been wrong between us for the past few days. Does my being away for the seminar have something to do with it? That fast? T-that much?
I don’t know. I would usually comprehend the situation in a matter of seconds back then but right now, I just can’t.
I can’t even tell what she’s thinking about.
As much as I could, I try to divert my whole attention to typing the students’ examination but that was until Iseul arrived in. For the first two days, she slept in Yohan’s bedroom but luckily, she slept with me last night and now, hopefully she would. I turn my head and watch her walk to the van
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