Luhan never forgot his first love. He simply never imagined meeting him on a packed bus years after they broke up. Their encounter was rather unfortunate, for Luhan didn’t expect to see him on his current attire; drenched with two groceries bags and his child crying in his arms. Luhan tried to shush him while sending apologetic gazes around him, cursing inwardly at his lack of luck as he couldn’t ask elderly to give him a seat.

 

Luhan was exhausted. It could be read on his face, if the pitiful scene he was giving wasn’t enough to tell. He stood firm on the ground, trying not to jostle his four years old son in his arm, still sniveling and trembling each time the thunderstorm reminded him of its presence. Luhan kissed Ziyu’s forehead, whispering that they’ll be home soon. Ziyu was clutching his neck tightly, but he was slowly calming down. Sensing that, Luhan smiled, glad that this little information was effective to stop his tears.

 

However, Luhan soon realized that it wasn’t the case. He couldn’t be the reason behind Ziyu’s sudden laugh. Luhan blinked curiously. He waited for the bus to come to a stop to turn his head around. Luhan wasn’t sure if he was pleased or extremely bothered for what he was seeing, neverthless, his reaction would have been the same. With wide opened eyes, Luhan watched as his high school’s crush stared at his child, making him laugh by grinning and waving at him.

 

“Sehun…?”

 

Luhan gaped, unable to do anything except staring at him in shock. The tall boy instantly mirrored his expression when he looked up, clearly taken aback.

 

“Luhan?” Sehun blinked a few times.

 

“As you can see…” Luhan smiled awkwardly. He was somehow relieved that Sehun remembered his name, and he apparently didn’t forget the story attached to it. Sehun’s gaze went down and he gasped silently, hastily freeing Luhan’s hands from the heavy bags. “You don’t have to…” Luhan mumbled, but he was extremely thankful. Thankful that Sehun’s kindness remained throughout the years.

 

They left the bus three stops later. Luhan didn’t protest when Sehun had insisted to accompany him to his appartment. Especially if that meant watching his and Ziyu’s cute interaction. The jokes Sehun were telling served as a great distraction to Ziyu’s fear; the storm was still raging, but the striking sounds didn’t seem to annoy Ziyu anymore. Luhan found himself smiling at the situation. His child was relaxed, and he got to hear Sehun’s voice again.

 

“Thank you so much, Sehun,” Luhan said, wincing once he realized the state Sehun was in now that they were under the bright artificial light of his appartment hallway. The boy had earlier handed his umbrella to Luhan who accepted the nice gesture gratefully, eager to protect Ziyu from the heavy rain. Luhan regretted that he couldn’t procure Sehun any shield, resulting in his thoroughly wet clothes and the droplets sliding down his hair.

 

Sehun smiled at his contrite gaze as he passed a hand through his hair, combing the dark locks back. “It’s nothing, really.”

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to come in? I wouldn’t want you to get sick…” Luhan bit his lower lip, restraining himself from saying another word. His request sounded like a plea, and it wasn’t the message Luhan wanted to convey as he was the instigator behind the unfortunate twist of their relationship.

 

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry,” Sehun said and, ironically, it sounded a lot like his last words to Luhan years prior. He then proceeded to gently pat the sleeping child’s head and wish them a goodnight. Luhan didn’t know if the guilt he was feeling was here to bring back their damaged past, or urging him to ask for Sehun’s number and create a new future; one where Sehun hadn’t been forcefully erased from with Luhan’s tears.

 

Luhan remarked that Sehun was quite in a hurry, though, as he waved and ran back outside, forgetting to take back his umbrella. Luhan also found out that Sehun was still forgetful, as he didn’t take this opportunity to give back a piece of Luhan’s heart, and he may have even steal another one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I want chocolate!”

 

Luhan chuckled at the overjoyed child. “Okay, Ziyu.”

 

Hand in hand, they walked down the aisle and towards that particular section Luhan grew accustomated to visit every saturday. Of course, Luhan was considerate to Ziyu’s health, but he let his baby have sweets every once in a while. As he turned around, Luhan stopped, not foreseeing the surprise that was awaiting him. A few meters ahead, in a simple plain button down shirt and black jeans, was Sehun looking at the display of sugary food.

 

“There! The chocolate cookies are there, daddy!”

 

Though he was merely standing, Luhan couldn’t help but stare in awe. He was amazed that Sehun managed to look so good in casual clothes. Luhan’s gaze raked over his body and he was so absorbed by the sight, he didn’t hear his poor son calling for him and tugging at his sleeve.

 

The child huffed in annoyance, wondering what was attracting his father’s attention. When Ziyu followed his stare, he grinned in glee and walked over, his little feet padding to Sehun who, upon seeing him, seemed pleasantly surprised.

 

“Hello! Daddy thinks you’re really handsome.”

 

Luhan watched in horror as Sehun smiled and looked up, meeting Luhan’s red face. He laughed. Beckoning Ziyu closer, he lowered his voice, as though to disclose a secret, but kept it loud enough for Luhan to hear, “Tell your daddy I think he’s really beautiful.”

 

Luhan blushed. He stood there, frozen in his spot as Ziyu nodded happily and walked back to Luhan. When he opened his mouth, about to repeat Sehun’s words, Luhan cleared his throat, cutting him off.

 

“Let’s go, Ziyu,” he said, trying to keep his tone stable, although Sehun’s amused stare made it waver towards the end.

 

“Okay…” Ziyu pouted. “But, can Sehunnie come home with us?”

 

Luhan spluttered, “W-what– why?”

 

“Because Ziyu likes him? And daddy likes him too.”

 

“Ziyu!” Luhan cried, glancing up and whining inwardly when he saw Sehun’s smug expression. “I never said– I,” he looked back at Ziyu, “Ziyu, S-Sehun is busy and–”

 

“Will be delighted to keep you company.”

 

Luhan gaped at Sehun’s cheeky grin.

 

“Yay! Daddy and Ziyu will go with Sehunnie!”

 

Luhan wanted to cry so badly. Of happiness or sorrow, he didn’t know.

 

The next hour was spent with Sehun playing with Ziyu, arguing over which pastry was the most tasty. It was like watching over two children, only that one was several inches taller and was carrying the smaller. The sight was endearing, Luhan had to admit. They seemed to get along well. Luhan watched with a blank stare as Ziyu attached his lips to Sehun’s jaw, leaving a kiss there. It awoke a new emotion in Luhan’s chest, and the latter had to assure himself it wasn’t jealousy.

 

They spent that evening talking about what they’ve been up to while Ziyu was in his bed, asleep. Luhan learned that Sehun was still a hard working student, but still find time to dance. It was nice to hear his different stories, it felt like it wasn’t too late for Luhan to be part of them, as though they’ve never been apart – out of each other’s life. It was like a meeting and a first encounter at the same time. They stayed silent after that. It was pleasant. The atmosphere was soothing. It lulled Luhan into a dreamless slumber.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Luhan’s eyes fluttered open, he felt comfortable, surrounded by warmth. He understood why when he realized that he unconsiously used Sehun’s shoulder as a pillow. Luhan grimaced at his position and straightened himself up, apologizing as he did so.

 

Sehun smiled. “It’s okay.”

 

Luhan assumed that Sehun didn’t mind so he rested his head back on his shoulder, once again closing his eyes and snuggling closer.

 

Sehun chuckled at his action. “You’re still as clingy as I remember. I wonder what that means…”

 

Luhan blinked. What Sehun just said, it didn’t sound like a question, but a statement; as if he already knew the answer. A few silent seconds passed before he called, “Sehun?”

 

“Mmh?”

 

“Your heart is beating really fast.” Luhan could feel Sehun tensing slightly under his hold, as he sneaked an arm around his waist. He smiled. “I wonder why…” he trailed of as he placed a feather-like kiss on the side of Sehun’s neck, laughing softly against it when he noticed that Sehun was holding his breath.

 

Sehun scoffed. “Well, what do you think?” He looked at Luhan with an annoyed look, but his eyes were telling another story. They were focused; as though to say that Sehun never considered a future without Luhan.

 

Neither knew which one reached out for the other, but it didn’t really matter. They were together, as they were once, a long time ago. It was like the old times, but better. Luhan didn’t have to remember. It wasn’t a memory; he was creating one.

 

Sehun’s lips moved deliberately, like they never forget how they used to etch every inch of Luhan’s skin with love. It was slow and stayed innocent. The kiss tasted like the mistakes they both did, and a promise to never repeat them. But it wasn’t enough, for Luhan would never forgive himself if he hurt Sehun again.

 

“…Sehun, I-I don’t think it’s a good idea…” Luhan said against Sehun’s lips, trying to get away but not wanting to let go.

 

“Why?” Sehun was having none of it, though, and kissed him again, without waiting for an answer.

 

“I– I-I have a child…” Luhan whispered.

 

“And?”

 

“You’re too young, Sehun…”

 

Sehun laughed. “You are young too.”

 

“Maybe, but…”

 

“But what?” Sehun laughed breathlessly. “No matter what excuse you find, I won’t let you go this time.”

 

Luhan flushed. “I… It’s not that, it’s just that– that I…” He bit his lip, hiding his flustered face on Sehun’s shoulder. “…I don’t know?”

 

Sehun smiled. “Give me a chance to prove it, then.”

 

“What?”

 

“That your heart can beat just as fast.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Luhan understood what Sehun meant that night. And he decided that everyone deserved a second chance. Even himself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Can Sehunnie sleep with Ziyu tonight?” Ziyu asked innocently over breakfast the following saturday, “He always sleep in daddy’s bedroom.”

 

Luhan stared at Ziyu with wide eyes, while Sehun bursted out laughing.

 

“I don’t think your dad will survive one night without me, Ziyu,” Sehun said proudly, ignoring Luhan’s glare.

 

“Really?” Ziyu asked worriedly. “Why? Is daddy sick?”

 

“No, he’s not sick. Just in need of me.” Sehun wiggled his eyebrows at a seething Luhan.

 

“I doubt you will survive this morning if you don’t shut up right now, Sehun.”