“Do you ever lie to your parents?”

Jongin seemed to stiffen at the mention of parents, though it was gone the moment it came, making me wonder yet again if I mistook it. Slowly, he turned to look at me. “I know that look,” he said cautiously, “what is it this time?”

“... I told him I passed the exam. The one we did last week.”

“...oh.”

“...yeah.”

“The one you got forties on?”

“Don’t make me feel worse.”

Chapter 16

“I’m going home tonight, right?”

Baekhyun raised his head slowly from the bowl of rice. His mouth was full, and he seemed to realize that the moment he opened his mouth because he lifted a hand up to cover it. “You just got stabbed in the leg by a fire elemental,” he stated in a muffled voice, “and even though Kai stabbed her, wouldn’t it be better to stay here for tonight? Besides, look at what you’re wearing. Your uniform is getting washed -- it’s still cleansable -- but it’s going to take at least two more hours in the drier to take home. Your shoes… aren’t okay.”

“I don’t think I should keep my brother waiting, though. He’s been… I’ve lied to him enough these days. If I can avoid it, I don’t want to keep on doing it. Besides, there was a fire in the school. He ought to have understood, right?”

“Are you going to tell him your uniform was burned?”

“Something must’ve happened. I’ll tell him…I’ll make something up.”

Luhan looked at me, then at the untouched bowl of rice before me. “But that’s lying too.” He didn’t sound like he was contradicting me, just stating a simple fact. There was nothing mean or taunting in his tone. “Wouldn’t it just better to glamour it?”

One was lying. I didn’t want to do so, but the other choice was close to manipulating his mind, and I didn’t want to do that -- it seemed even worse. Between bad and worse, it didn’t seem fair to chose worse when I had already had done so many times. “I’ll go home like this,” I replied finally, “I’ll make up something.”

Luhan didn’t argue back, just nodded. “I might be able to find a pair of shoes for you. As for your clothing…” he pressed his lips together. “We could get Sehun to dry it with wind?”

Baekhyun let out a short snort. “That’s a new one.”

“Ultimate clothes drier, Oh Sehun,” Chanyeol added, nodding in an oddly thoughtful way. “This can be his new chore around here.”

“Are you kidding me? That kid never does his chores. If he has that job, we’re going to end up wearing half damp clothing.”

I wasn’t sure if Luhan was more amused by that particular conversation or baffled, because he watched the back and forth quietly. In the end, however, Sehun was assigned to the task of drying my clothes out with his power (after a considerable amount of complaining and do I really have to’s), and in an hour or so, I had on the uniform again along with a pair of flats that Luhan had dug out that were too tight. Kai had disappeared somewhere and hadn’t come out ever since, and after Kyungsoo insisted that it was fruitless to wait for Kai, I walked home with him instead.

Walking home with Kyungsoo was a lot more quiet than I had expected, and he walked at a considerably fast speed. The sky hadn’t darkened completely, but the streetlights had all been already. Kai hadn’t been very talkative, but now that it was only Kyungsoo and I, he talked even less. He followed behind me silently, probably unsure of where my apartment was.

It was beginning to get a little unnerving with him walking behind me almost soundless, saying nothing at all to the point where I myself wanted to start the conversation, which was something I rarely did. Kyungsoo didn’t talk a lot (at least compared to Baekhyun), but he had been the one who’d, along with Luhan, introduced me to Ignis and a bit of it and the Athanatoi’s history.

“You know, Kai’s someone who blames himself.” I almost fell over in surprise when Kyungsoo finally spoke. “Whatever fault he makes he blames himself for it and gets worked up about it and tries to be better. And even though he doesn’t really make the same mistake twice, there’s always mistakes to make out there. He doesn’t acknowledge the fact that he’s actually extremely careful, just keeps on dwelling on his faults.”

“Ah.” Unsure of what to say, I snuck a glance at Kyungsoo. He was looking at the sky. “I… kind of noticed when he was talking to Suho.”

“I’ve known him for seven years. Since he was eleven he’s been like that, and it hasn’t changed. He’s super uptight, and especially since you got hurt today and Yunseo actually talked to him. Her glamour obviously was really advanced, but even then, he’s going to blame himself about it until the next mistake happens.”

“Does the fact that she’s dead act like a condolence?”

“Somewhat.” Kyungsoo was looking at me now. “The last time Baekhyun was almost killed on a mission with Kai -- he hunted down the beserker that got Baekhyun. So now that Yunseo’s dead, he’s not going to have to tear Seoul apart looking for her. But on the other hand, he’s going to continue blaming himself for something that’s not his fault.”

“He’s like that, then?”

“He’s like that. Especially to people he’s close with.”

“Is he close with me?”

Kyungsoo didn’t even look taken back at the question, even though I felt so. It was something that I’d asked myself and even Kai himself many times, though however many times I got the answer, I still wasn’t satisfied. I couldn’t understand him at all. “He wouldn’t be as shaken up about that incident at school today if he weren’t. I know he doesn’t really show it, but he really does care for all of us.” The seriousness wavered in his voice. “Besides, he would’ve given you the last bottle of chocolate milk. He had a whole fridge full of them last time and he didn’t even give me a full one. I had to share with Baekhyun. And Chanyeol.”

It felt a little better to hear that, admittedly. But the thought of Kai blaming himself for something that he didn’t need to dwell on felt uncomfortable to think about. Yunseo was more my fault than his too; he didn’t need to put all the blame on himself and continuously do so.

“That’s…”

Kyungsoo handed me something, and without thinking, I took it. “Your backpack,” he said, “Kai grabbed it from your locker a while ago. It has your gym shoes and your other uniform and whatever you keep in there.”

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