so technically im not supposed to write cuz i still have to finish my essay...but seeing how i didnt get ANY time at all from my last update till now to work on said essay WRITE AN UPDATE I DID!!!!plus its the first time in AGES ive had a eureka moment with this story and i just couldnt let that moment pass me up!!!!hopefully thisll be somewhat like my writing at the start and nothing at all like the crap ive been putting out!!!!anyways...enjoy reading!!!!

After the visit from Jaejoong’s biological mom, your nerves were set on fire and the closer your wedding day came, the more jittery you became. Despite the fact that things were flowing smoothly, you had after all been able to finish the planning of the reception with the exception of a few details here and there, you still felt like there was too much to do and you were drowning in them. How do people do this? How are they able to handle all this pressure? Is it just me? I mean, this will…hopefully…be my only wedding and I want it to be perfect, that’s not too much to ask for is it? As the pressure continued to build, more things for you to worry about came up.

Jaejoong walked into what he called your wedding space, which was basically the entire living room. “I just wanted to remind you that the press conference about our engagement is tomorrow and the day after is when we’ll be going to look at a couple of houses, make sure you keep those days free okay?”

Startled, you looked up from the seating plan you’d been working on. “Wait…press conference?”, you asked hesitantly.

“You know, the press conference that you agreed to do rather than an official press release?” Jaejoong sauntered over to you and squatted down until he was at your eye level. Looking into your eyes, he grabbed your hands and gave them a comforting squeeze. “Don’t worry about it okay? You don’t have to say anything, just let me handle the talking. If you do want to speak, then it’s fine by me and you’ll be prepped before hand in case of such an occasion.” Leaning down, he gave you a peck on the lips.

All you could do was give him a smile that was half a grimace. Calming yourself, you went back to work, pushing the upcoming event into the far corners of your mind. That night as you went to sleep, Jaejoong tried to comfort you again. For all that it was worth, it helped for awhile, that is until you woke up at 3 in the morning panicked. I cant do this…I can’t. I’m going to make an utter fool of myself and who knows what else… It’s not too late to change my mind is it? Shaking your head, you tried to rid yourself of your pessimistic thoughts. What’re you talking about ____? You can do this! Jaejoong’s going to be right beside you and with him there, what isn’t possible? Just think of it as meeting his family again, a larger and camera armed family, but family nonetheless. You take a couple of calming breaths and fall asleep again. When you woke up, you found an already dressed Jaejoong sitting by your bed tugging on his socks. He was clad in casual jeans and a shirt.

At the bed shifting with your weight, Jaejoong turned around to give you a smile. “Morning sleepy head. You should hurry up and get ready, the press conference is set for 11 and its already nearing 9. Dress in something comfortable and casual, they’ll have clothes ready for us.”

Eyes widening, you quickly rush out of bed, uttering a small good morning before running into the bathroom. You quickly brushed and changed into clothes similar to Jaejoong’s. Deciding to opt out of putting make up on, you gather your hair into a ponytail and walk into the kitchen. You slide onto one of the barstools with a plate of breakfast in front of you.

“Good to go?”, Jae asked. Nodding, you pick at your food. Grabbing your fork, Jaejoong settled down beside you and forked a mouthful of scrambled eggs up to your mouth. “You have to eat babe. Trust me, as hard as swallowing it down may seem right now, you’ll be thankful that you ate later.” As you reluctantly ate, Jaejoong continued to feed you. “You know, you aren’t really speaking much…are you okay?”

At that, your resolve to try to remain cool and collected fell away. “Jae! How can I do this? Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up, what’s going to happen when it actually starts?” You push your plate away and drop your head into your arms. “I don’t think I can do this…”, you whisper out.

Rubbing circles on your back, Jaejoong tried to soothe you. “Don’t worry too much about it ____. The more you think about it the worse it’ll seem.” You still kept your head down so Jaejoong gave you a one armed hug, pulling you around on the stool till your face was buried in his chest. “And just remember, I’ll be by your side the whole time, holding your hand and if it ever gets too much, give it a squeeze and I’ll whisk you out of there in the blink of an eye.”

Giving him a tight squeeze, you whisper out, “And I’ll try to stop acting so foolish.”

With the clock ticking, you quickly finished breakfast and were soon on your way to the conference hall. There, you were met with a barrage of people, half were there to transform your appearance while the other half were there to prep you for the interview, guiding you on how to answer any questions if you chose to and how to present yourself. In the somewhat small room with so many people crowded around you, you started to shrink into yourself, the beginning signs of your claustrophobia. Get a grip ____, you cannot under any circumstances let your claustrophobia get the better of you, especially not now! Just calm down and focus on Jaejoong, think of no one but him. Breathing in and out to calm your frazzled nerves, you desperately seek Jaejoong, your searching eyes finally falling on his calm ones as they stared straight at you amongst everyone. Just by looking at him your racing heart calmed down and seeing the slight panic in your eyes, Jaejoong mouthed I’m right here beside you. Heaving out a sigh, you give him a grateful smile. Finally after everyone had stopped fussing around you, it was time to meet the reporters. Drawing in a shaky breath, you take Jaejoong’s offered hand while mentally preparing yourself for what was to come.

Stopping just before the doors, Jaejoong turned you to face him. “It’ll all be over in a couple minutes, it’s nothing to worry about and just remember, I’m here for you.” He gave you a quick hug and a kiss, then opened the door, rushing through the process just like you’d do when taking off a bandage.

Immediately you’re blinded with the flash of what seemed like a million cameras going off at once. Tempted to raise your hands to cover your eyes, you quickly grab onto Jaejoong’s with both and instead blinked rapidly. Finally you were seated at the table and the flashes slowly subsided. You sat quietly as the public relations representative from C-JeS started the interview. When you are able to look up from your hands, you gaze out at the sea of reporters and the feeling you’d had back in the dressing room intensified. Needing to keep your composure and look confident, as the woman who had prepped you advised, you couldn’t divert your gaze back to your lap, neither could you turn to Jaejoong for protection. As your chest tightened in panic, you reached out for Jaejoong, your cold hand seeking his warmth. Though the touch calmed you slightly, the noise the reporters made when finally allowed to ask questions shocked you and whatever remedy had been granted by Jaejoong was destroyed. Your eyes widened and your free hand shook a little. Trying to calm down, you give your head a little shake and try to take in deep calming breaths, but you choked on your breath. You continue trying to breathe, but you were already feeling dizzy. With your purse back in the dressing room, you knew there was nothing you could do but hope that the interview would end soon. Come on ____, don’t give up now. Fight it until you’re out from under their scrutiny, don’t give them any reason to write unnecessary things about you or Jaejoong. Breathe in…breathe out…breathe in…breathe out…

Jaejoong’s POV

He felt you reach out for his hand and he instinctively clasped it, his brows furrowing slightly at how cold they felt. They feel like ice…shouldn’t she be warmer considering the number of people here? Unable to fully turn toward you, he shifted his gaze slightly to look at you through the corner of his eyes, but you seemed to be just fine. It’s probably the nerves… At that moment, the reporters began their onslaught of questions and he immersed himself in the task of answering them. The hand in his grasp gave a slight twitch and then another. Once again, Jaejoong slid his gaze toward you, but unlike the other time, this time you were breathing in deeply and with one look at your face, his protective instinct leapt into gear and all he could think about was getting you out of that room. Turning toward the company’s representative, Jaejoong signalled him to bring things to a wrap. After one more question, which he answered hastily, the interview was brought to a close. Quickly getting up, he wrapped his arm around your waist, supporting most of your weight and speed walked out of the room.

Your POV

The doors finally closed and you were safe from the dozens of eyes that had been staring at you, though the flashes at the end were just as bad as those from the start, even worse rather since they only heightened your panic. As you two stood there for a moment, you felt black creeping into the corners of your eyes, and just before it overtook you completely, you look up and give Jaejoong a weak smile of thanks.

Jaejoong’s POV

Startled, Jaejoong stared a moment at your fainted form before his brain clicked into gear. Quickly lifting you into his arms, he carried you into the dressing room and laid you on the couch in there. As was expected, the people who were still in there came flocking around the two of you, curiosity and worry leading them on.

Getting up, he said, “Please give us some room and if someone could fetch ____ purse, I’d be grateful.”

One of the make up artists came back with your purse and a cold bottle of water too. Nodding gratefully, Jaejoong thanked them. He pressed the bottle against your forehead, hoping that the cold shock would rouse you from your faint while he searched in your bag for your pills.

“Come on, wake up love, wake up.”

Your POV

In the darkness, you suddenly felt a shock of cold that made you flinch and slowly the darkness started to fade.

As though the person was far away, you hear a voice say in a cajoling tone, “Come on, wake up love, wake up.”

Disoriented, you raise yourself onto your hands and look around you in confusion. The lights near blinded you after the darkness you had fallen into that you had to blink multiple times to bring the dark object in front of you into focus.

“Jae…joong?”, you ask weakly.

A smile of relief crossed his face and he helped you into a sitting position. “Do you feel okay?”

Nodding, you look at him confused. “All I know is that we’d left the interview…but…how’d we get here?”

Glancing about you, the large number of people still present in the room started up your symptoms afresh. Seeing that you were not yet calm, Jaejoong quickly took out a pill and passed it to you, along with the bottle of water. Gratefully, you quickly swallow the pill and close your eyes, waiting for its effect to spread. You sense a body settle down beside you on the couch and you scooted over to make room.

With your eyes still closed, you asked, “I…I didn’t faint before the cameras did I?”

“No.” Jaejoong’s soft voice aided you more than the pill could and you finally turn to look at him.

Smiling wryly you say, “Well that’s a relief, wouldn’t want stories of my passing out to be circulating, who knows what they’ll come up with to explain it.” Pausing to think, you continue, “I’d bet they’d put it down as pregnancy for sure.”

Though you joked, thoughts of people finding out about your claustrophobia and making a huge deal about it scared you more than you ever thought it could. What would people say? I won’t be able to stand sympathizing looks and words from complete strangers, I just won’t. That is supposing of course that they will be feeling sorry for me…they might think me inadequate and unfit for Jae…

Out of the blue, Jaejoong grabbed you in for a tight hug. “You don’t know how much you worried me when you just fell into my arms, I didn’t know what happened or what to do…” He burrowed his face into the crook of your neck. “Don’t ever scare me like that ever again.”, he whispered, his voice muffled. Collected, he raised his head, his eyes questioning. “What happened?”

Shrugging, you tried your best to explain. “I don’t really know. I mean I was totally nervous before coming so that didn’t really help much, but when I saw all the people and the flash of the cameras it became too much for me. I just felt like the room was getting smaller and it just made me feel suffocated. I should have probably taken a pill before, but I forgot.”

Jaejoong hugged you once again before standing and pulling you up. “Come on, let’s get you out of here and back home. I think you’ve had enough excitement for one day.”

And to your relief, that’s just what the two of you did, the wedding and all other worries were put aside as you and Jaejoong spent the day together.

of course...THANK YOU FOR EVERYONE WHOS STUCK BY THIS STORY!!!!it means sooo much to me despite the fact that im such an irregular updater...going months between them at times...anyways...please please comment and let me know how this chapter was!!!!thnxies!!!!

COMMENT PLEASE!!!!