Continuation..........................................oh...i can still.......................

Inside the Operating Room…
(Nearing To The Break of Dawn - Thursday…
Natalie’s Operation (Onset and Onwards….’til…)

Clumsily, Minho opens the door - the viewing section of the still now waiting for Natalie’s body to arrive in the operating room which actually gives you a full view over the operating area via a one-way glass wall – thinking…

“Damn, if this could have been just sort of a tour,
I can manage to act normal…

(clenching his fist) I can do this
– I have seen this type of setting in movies … I can…

(shakes his head) but, aaahh… now actually experiencing this…
my body feels heavy and unsteady,
I feel like entering a different dimension… this is so hard…”

Takes a deep breath and now entering the area turns his face from right to left to accustom his self with the atmosphere then as soon as he gets him self a bit acquainted of the area, he climbs the steps where the glass wall viewing area is, reaching the point; his eyes begin its tour immediately seeing five persons inside all clothed in their sterilized medical wardrobe with every inch of the skin from their neck down covered along with their mouths and noses with surgical masks busy doing their assigned responsibilities, unto the various machines emplaced, secured plateaus loaded with surgical instruments and sterilized linens and various things he can no longer decipher what their uses are.

Immobilized, he stands there with his hands planted on the glass wall, watching their every move though even as he watches his mind has become surprisingly blank. Minho feels as though everything he sees moves too slow in sync with his body’s rhythm – decelerating, a calling for his body to straight away wanting to lie down – fighting his condition, he slaps his face every now and then just to get a grip of reality.

Going through the stage of limbo, a not-so-loud squeak sound of the door opening surprises him noticing immediately Dr. Tiffany together with three other doctors entering the operating area – his breathing pauses thus, much more so when he sees Natalie’s powerless body lying on a stretcher carefully being taken in and gently transferred unto the operating table.

Instantly upon seeing Natalie, Minho could feel a surge of cold coarse feeling creeping its way from his feet slowly stitching his whole sense of being – he is back at the stream of indeterminate state again. At this moment, Minho’s head is fuzzy staring uncomprehendingly at the operating area, now surgical procedure is commencing, with hazy eyes and skewered hearing; all he could hear are the sounds of the various machines beeping and uncompromising voice commands. Raising his left elbow and places it on the glass wall, he then rests his head acknowledging his physical and mental state – stressed and fatigued.

Regardless in limbo uncontrollably swaying under this current condition, he stays but instead of looking; he increases his sense of hearing – a way of pausing him self to gather strength - until such time and enough courage to proceed with watching the whole happening. For almost an hour of long standing and strained circumstance, Minho’s body gives in, blindly extending his right hand downward in search for a chair to seat on – he voluntarily lets his body runs its course – head backward with eyes backward, arms stretched downward and both of his legs open widely.

Suddenly after hours has passed, Minho who is still in a peaceful undisturbed state – jolts upon hearing an increasingly alarming noises, gauchely gets to his feet, a slight of pain throbbing in his back and legs - limps front unto the glass wall. Like after a long meditation so now, clearing all his senses in line with the surrounding – hauling a different form of increasing energy – takes several deep breaths, holds them and releases slowly - gasps in surprisingly panic state to see the twins being taken out of Natalie’s womb.

Minho overwhelmed with mixed emotions, walks back and forth at the second level one way glass wall of having a view over the operating area, keeping his focus on the twins that is now being gently slapped on the . Abruptly soon after, babies’ energetic cries covered the whole operating area – he could hear along with the incessant cries, the loud cheering of all the attending staffs inside the operating room making his heart beats uncontrollably fast.

At the same moment, as he hears the twins’ cries and image comes to his mind – Kibum, a gentle smile appears on Minho’s lips; imagining how the other would be feeling at this moment – so Minho, let him self be under a blissful state picturing a scene with all of them in it – him, Kibum, the twins..and..

“Natalie….”

Absentmindedly, at the next seconds after Natalie’s name spoken - Minho also utters…

“Yeah…Natalie…”

But then…..

“Natalie…hang in there… Fight… Natalie…”

“Nurse…defibulator… quick!!”

Minho upon hearing Natalie’s name being stated repeatedly, somehow comes back to his own senses, shakes his head and moving in the direction of the sound, in search of its cause and finding out what is happening…witnessing Natalie now being revived by Dr. Tiffany, he feels terrified, his body shivers feeling the urge to flee… to run… and to scream…

His blissful state like a flash of the light vanishes into to thin air now being replaced by a hurried panic turmoil atmosphere – in concentration making all of his five senses intentionally and deliberately sharp and sensitive; listening and watching every scene unfolding right before his very eyes.

He sweats, cringes and heart stops as to every unnerving state he sees – his ears gradually becomes unable to hear soundly as all he can now hear are constant unending gradual stop and go beeping of the heart beating and or the voices of people hurriedly attending to Natalie’s fatal state; he falls on a crouch position in a surrendering state.

Suddenly like a whiff passing, the piercing noises vanish, and the only noise you can hear is the unending sound of the machine bleeping. Minho jerks at the sound of it, saying to him self….

“What is going on…? What is that sound…?”

Thinking something very strange is going on, stammering, he gets up and instinctively his eyes immediately planting in sight where the heart rate monitor area is, and for some reason his heart is now experiencing difficulty of breathing properly as well – upon witnessing the solid green laser light passing endlessly without flickering on the electrocardiogram’s monitor –  Minho could not speak.

Adding to his considerably difficult to articulately expressing the feelings of paralyzing fear and the intense struggle of uttering just one word, is the next scene – Dr. Tiffany covering Natalie’s face with a green soft linen – as a result, he could not move, totally stunned, literally his feet glued to the floor and thumping his chest to release air congestion then when finally able to let go; everything around him darkens.

“Minho….Minho….”

As he hears someone calling, Minho gently opens his eyes, surprised to see Dr. Tiffany by his side; he quickly raises his body on a seated position and asks….

Minho:             ( his head) Sorry Auntie… but…
                        what happened…?

Dr. Tiffany:      (rubbing his back) Minho calm down…
                        you fell unconscious…

Minho:             (breathing quickly) Auntie…Natalie…?

Dr. Tiffany:      (on a soft voice, replies) Minho, Natalie is gone.
                        She died a couple of minutes after taking out the twins. 
                        Now, as per her request, her body is already
                        in the process of being cremated…
                        
                        we really tried our best but I guess each of us is here
                        with a vision of how our life can be, 
                        what our purpose is and what we want to do…

                         ( Minho’s head) She embraced her fate and destiny
                         willingly without a single pinch of resentment…. 

                        (lifts Minho’s face to look at him) Therefore Minho,
                        I expect you to do the same so she can move on in peace…

Minho:             Auntie… I am so sorry for not acting so brave…
                        I was under the condition of overwhelming fear of her impending death…
                        I don’t know how to deal with it…

Dr. Tiffany:      (shakes her head) No need to be sorry Minho…
                        In my heart I know Natalie is thankful that even without Kibum…
                        I think you are aware of her reason, you were with her
                        to provide her courage and added strength…
                        she told me that she was really happy and grateful
                        to have met Kibum’s dearest beloved friend…

Minho:             (stuttering) Yeah… Kibummie….
                        How would he take it… 

                        (looks at Dr. Tiffany) Auntie…

Dr. Tiffany:      Don’t worry about that I will inform him tomorrow…
                        Let me handle it Minho…

Page 11 of Chapter 33 Ends here..........................................................next page please......................