Ryosuke POV

 

“Sakura! I’m leaving for school!”

 

“Your bento!”

 

“Alright!”

 

It’s been three months since I moved in with Sakura, I still have a long way to prove to my mother that I’ve grown up. But if Sakura is with me, I’m sure everything would be alright.

 

At least I thought so…

 

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“Ryosuke, wanna go KTV after school today?” Yuto asked me.

 

“Nah, I have tuition today.”

 

“Ryosuke… you need to take a break from study sometimes…”

 

“I’m fine.” Having Sakura’s home-cooked food is my form of distressing for the past three months. And seeing her face everyday is enough to make me happy.

 

“Alright..”

 

As Yuto and I walked out of our school, we heard some commotion,

 

“Wow she is so pretty!!”

“Her family car is so big!!”

“She must be really rich!!!”

 

What’s with these people, they are being so materialistic, while thinking so, I sensed someone running towards me,

 

“Ryosuke! I MISSED YOU!”

 

I was hugged by someone, this voice… Yamamoto Miki?!?!

 

“Let me go!” I push Miki away from me.

 

“Why are you so cold to me, Ryosuke? We’ll get married after we graduate from high school anyway.”

 

“Ryosuke! You have a fiancee already? What about Sakura?” Yuto, don't bring Sakura up now… Especially not in front of Miki...

 

“Who’s he? Who’s Sakura?” Miki is poking her nose into my affairs again.

 

“None of your business, anyway I won't marry you. I hope you get the idea.”

 

“Ryosuke, there's nothing in this world I can't get. I’ll make you change your mind.”

 

“Lady! We should leave for tuition now!” Miki’s butler was calling her.

 

“Ryosuke, I’ll see you soon then!”

 

Finally she’s gone...

 

“Ryosuke, you better explain to me.” Yuto...again…

 

“Yuto, she's just the person my mum is forcing me to marry to. But I’ve already told my mum clearly I won't marry her. But seems like Miki doesn't want to accept it…”

 

“Ryosuke, don't forget what I told you before. I won't let you bully Sakura.”

 

“I remember, and I won't, so save your worries.”

 

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Few days later…

 

Sakura POV

 

“Sakura-chan, I’m leaving then!” It was Keito bidding goodbye to me after his shift ended.

 

“Alright!  See you the day after!”

 

I was left alone at the store. While I was doing packing, my hands got stuck and while taking it out my bracelet broke.

 

“Ah …” Ryosuke bought this bracelet for me using the first pay he received in his life. Although it wasn't some expensive stuffs, but I really like it.

 

At the same time, I have a bad feeling… It feels like calm before storm…

 

I picked up the bracelet and put it in my pocket so I can go home and fix it.

 

My shift was ending at 6am the next day. When I left the store, there was a teenage girl standing outside.

 

“So you’re Sakura?” She didn't seem friendly.

 

“Yes… and may I know you are?”

 

“I’m Yamamoto Miki, Ryosuke’s fiancee.”

 

“!!! What…?”

 

“I see that Ryosuke’s staying with you now huh, and seems like he has fallen for your tricks all these while, you murderer.”

 

“.......What are you talking about…?”

 

“Stop faking! Didn't Ryosuke’s father died because of you?”

 

“.........” What should I say? I can't refute that…

 

“Aren’t you just pitying Ryosuke? Or using him to clear your sins? Stop playing with his feelings!”

 

“......I’m...” As I tried to rebuke what Miki said, I saw a familiar silhouette behind Miki,

 

“Ryosuke…”

 

“Sakura, is what Miki said true?”

 

“.......I………” I went speechless.

 

“Are you just pitying me? Are you just using me to make yourself feel better by taking care of me?”

 

No…. No!!! Ryosuke got it all wrong!!!

 

“Ryosuke, no, that’s not it, things are not what you are thinking now!”

 

“Then what is it? TELL ME!”

 

“..................” I got a shock, this is the first time I see Ryosuke getting so angry.

 

Because I love you…

 

Was my answer, but, I don’t know. Should I tell him that? What would he feel? Would he accept the love from someone who have caused the death of his father? Even if he does accept, do I deserve such a love? Do I…? I’m a sinful person, I don’t deserve any happiness…

 

“I……………” the words ‘love you’ was stuck inside my mouth.

 

“Your silence means you agree with what I’ve just said, right?”

 

“Yes Ryosuke, she’s a despicable person! I hired a private investigator to find out about her, and never did I know that she’s actually the cause for your father’s death!!” Miki was adding oil to fire.

 

“...........To think I trusted you so much… Stop playing around with me!!!”

 

Ryosuke dashed off and Miki followed him behind.

 

………………………….

 

What is this……….. Tears were rolling in my eyes, what else could I say? What else……..?

 

I walked around the streets, silently screaming for help. But I know… no one would help me… I deserve what I’m getting… Eventually I went home, I saw Ryosuke packing up his stuffs.

 

“Ryosuke…”

 

“Don’t call my name anymore. I feel stupid for trusting you all these while.”

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“None of your business right?”

 

“I……. I’m sorry……..”

 

“What’s there to be sorry? Sorry for causing the death of my dad? Or sorry for lying to me?”

 

“I………. didn’t meant to keep it from you……. I just……..”

 

“You know, what I’m angry at is that, you’re not the one telling me the truth…”

 

“...............”

 

Yes, it’s my fault for hiding, I thought he would stay by myside if I hide from him. Yet I was wrong…

 

Ryosuke packed his stuffs quickly and left the house.

 

At this moment, I felt all the strength were drawn away from my body, my legs fell to the ground, my tears were dropping non-stop. I lost Ryosuke… again, for the second time. I lost him again!!!! I banged my head on the ground umpteen times, till I couldn’t feel anymore pain in my heart, I closed my eyes….. Wishing they would never open again…

 

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Ryosuke POV

 

I can’t believe what I’ve overheard when I was going to fetch Sakura home from work minutes ago. Miki said Sakura was the reason for my father’s death? And yet Sakura did not deny it? What is happening?!?!

 

Was Sakura lying to me all these while? Was she just trying to make herself feel less painful by pitying me? Who should I believe?!?! I can’t think anymore!!! I need to run away!!!!!

 

Why didn’t Sakura refute what I said? Was she agreeing with what I said? But her eyes, it was full of sadness, I don’t understand!! She doesn’t tell me anything!! Am I such an unreliable person to her???

 

Out of rashness I went back, packed my stuffs and left Sakura’s apartment… What am I doing…? Somehow I feel I’m doing the wrong thing, but I can’t control my body… I decided to stay over at Yuto’s house for the moment.

 

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Sakura POV

 

I woke up with a terrible headache, yet I was glad, the pain in my head allowed me to slightly forget the emotional pain I had gone through last night. I continued living my meaningless life, going through the same routine each day. Even though there were so many times I was tempted to go find Ryosuke and explain everything to him, I couldn’t find the courage to.

 

“Sakura, your face looks really pale, are you alright?” It was Yuto.

 

“Ah, I’m fine.” I gave Yuto a weak smile.

 

“You don’t… Something happened between you and Ryosuke?”

 

“Huh, why do you ask so?”

 

“Ryosuke moved over to my place few days back and he’s been changing shifts with me whenever his schedule got arranged to be with yours.”

 

Ah so that’s how it is, no wonder I haven’t been seeing Ryosuke at work these few days. But I’m glad to hear that he’s staying with Yuto now.

 

“Yuto, sorry. It’s a long story, and I don’t wish to explain it.”

 

It really is. And there’s not point bringing it up to anyone else.

 

“Sakura… If you’re going to continue showing that kind of face, I’ll snatch you back from Ryosuke.”

 

“...What are you talking about?”

 

“I……”

 

“Hi! Welcome!” I greeted the customer who entered the store.

 

I pretended I didn’t hear what Yuto said. Was he trying to confess to me? I seriously hope not… I’m already very troubled...

 

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Ryosuke POV

 

After days of avoiding Sakura at work, I wonder how long more this can last…

 

“Ryosuke! What exactly happened between you and Sakura?” Yuto was back home.

 

“.......Nothing….”

 

“THERE CAN’T BE NOTHING RIGHT?!?! I let you move in because I thought you needed some time to settle things out with Sakura, but it seems you aren’t doing anything!!” Yuto pulled me by my collar.

 

“What do you know?!?!?! I’m troubled as well!!!! She’s been lying to me!!!”

 

“What? What has she lied to you?”

 

“That…. she’s the cause of my biological father’s death…”

 

“..............”

 

“I don’t know if I can trust her again…”

 

“Ryosuke, you’re an idiot.”

 

“What…?”

 

“Have you put yourself in Sakura’s shoes? If you were her, will you be able to bring this up to someone you care so much? And do you know exactly what happened? How did she caused the death of your father? Was it intentional, or was it purely an accident?”

 

“....................”

 

I got a shock at Yuto’s question. I thought about it seriously, I realised if I were in Sakura’s shoes, I would find it hard to bring up such a harsh true as well… To be honest I had no idea what exactly happened too… I can’t recall anything...

 

“What you are feeling is the most genuine than any other thing, isn’t it? Are you doubting what Sakura has done for you up till now? Do you really think those actions are just part of acting? What exactly are you feeling? Do you really feel she is cheating you?”

 

……………. I was speechless at Yuto’s reprimands, I asked my heart, and my heart is telling me Sakura’s concerns for me aren’t fake.

 

I understood, why I felt I was doing something wrong when I moved out of her house the other day. Because I am wrong about Sakura… And I remembered Sakura said she had something she can’t tell me yet, is it about this?

 

“Ryosuke, patch it up with Sakura as soon as you’ve settled your feelings, alright?”

 

“Yuto… Thank you so much… I’ll fix it soon…”

 

Even though I said that… I was still feeling unsure, I wanted to confirm Sakura’s feelings for me… Does she… love me…?

 

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the EDGE of the WORD - KinKi Kids

 

言葉は時として 刃となって

Sometimes words can become a sharp knife

大切なひとにも 無闇に斬り掛かる

Hurting people we cherish recklessly

 

また繰り返したの バカな過ち…ひとつ

I’ve made the same stupid mistake again

戾すことのできぬ 離れてゆく氣持ち

I can’t turn back time, the feelings that are leaving away

 

ホントに心から 大切だった

I really love you from the bottom of my heart

あなたを傷つけ 何をやっているの?

But what am I doing exactly by hurting you?

 

近すぎて見えなかった この距離

Our distance is too near that I can’t see properly

悔やんでも悔やんでも もう戾れない

I can’t turn back time regardless how much regret I’m feeling now

 

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Writer’s note: A more tensed chapter where Ryosuke starts to learn of the past he has forgotten.

 

Have not been feeling well recently but I’m still writing my third fanfic on Semi again! Right now I hope the readers are enjoying this fanfic. I personally like it a lot. Comments would be loved!

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