His desperation is the kind nobody will ever feel sorry for– it’s an obsessive kind of desperation and when he reflects back on his actions– the phone calls, the voice messages and the one time at Yura’s wedding– he wants to flinch, lock himself in his house and never see the light of day again.

He has built his life around a life with Kyungsoo and their future kids– having it so shattered without any hope left him with no ground to walk on and nowhere to go. But how long can he go on feeling this hopeless? This anxiousness that he’ll never be able to call Kyungsoo his own again?

()()()()

Jongin is timid and Kyungsoo is not. And Kyungsoo always comes out the best when he is done comparing.

()()()()

()()()()

Chanyeol thinks it’s incredibly and utterly stupid of him to allow this level of intimacy with someone he has no future plans with. “I’ll call you,” He promises between kisses because Jongin is one of the stupid easy ones. He can almost picture what a disaster this will be once it's all over.

()()()()

He’s out of the hall, running down the long corridor as he makes his way for the stairs, brushing away all rational thoughts. He didn’t think Kyungsoo would come but Kyungsoo has always had a soft spot for Yura.

Chanyeol spots the car just outside the building by the staircase, when he turns the corner leading to the stairs– he stands frozen. He knows that back anywhere, can draw it with his eyes closed and remembers every bump and every ing flaw on it that he’s ever felt under his fingertips.

“Park Kyungsoo!”

The small body he remembers so well stops and the big doe eyes he’s positive he’s still in love with look directly at him. The lips he so badly misses to kiss every morning part, almost like he’s shocked to see him, and Chanyeol wants to laugh.