(This story is a sequel of my other fanfiction  called Dating an Idol)

That name I loved
Became too distant as I went out to call it
I now write that name down
I'm on the verge of tears
I want to hide within myself
Remember that day now
Where all I could do was love you
Because an unachievable love is still love

- The name I loved – 

While Lillie was away… 

Jules pulled her hair up into a bun and washed her face meticulous searching for a new pimple. She knew they were there somewhere since she ate a lot of chocolate the previous night.

She was so depressed since Lillie was away. It wasn’t fun to live alone and things got worse when Lillie called her and once again cried. It was becoming a routine now. She called every week and every week she would end up crying and Jules felt awful because she didn’t know what to say or do. If she was near she could at least hug her but she was on the other side of the world.

Jules was getting ready to put some cream on when the bell of the door rang. She wasn’t waiting for anyone and she rarely got any visits.

Not in a million years she would have guessed who her guest was. It was someone she was used to see at her door so many times before but she didn’t think she would see ever again.

“Jinki.” It was rare for Jules to treat him by his name, she often called him Onew or Tokki Prince or even Pabo Leader in a very disrespectful way. However Jules respected him an awful lot and he knew it. That’s why she didn’t ask him what he was doing there and let him enter.

“I’m sorry that I came so early. Something happened last night and I realized that…”

Jules noticed how his eyes were red and she knew he was crying before. It was ok, she could understand. Min, Rin and everyone that loved Lillie did the same so many times before. It was actually a surprise that he didn’t try before.

“:..I realized I forgot something in…” He couldn’t even say her name and Jules quickly nodded.

“In her room. Ok. You can go. Be at home!”

Her words made him flinch. Yes, that apartment was almost a second home to him. Jules regretted her choice of words immediately and Onew disappeared inside Lillie’s room.

He didn’t even hesitate, entering it immediately.

Jules respectfully waited outside in the living room for a few minutes and then went to the bathroom to get ready. More than twenty minutes passed and she couldn’t wait any more.

She knew Jinki was lying, that he didn’t forget anything; he only wanted to feel closer to Lillie.

Jules silently stepped into the corridor and stopped at the door of the bedroom that once belonged to Lillie.

She pushed the door slightly, that wasn’t even locked, and saw Jinki lying on Lillie’s bad asleep, a pillow with his face by his side.

What a curious sight, she thought to herself watching him. He wasn’t asleep though since he rubbed his nose.

She wondered if he knew that she was watching him. He didn’t say anything and only stayed there for a few minutes with her watching, his eyes still closed.

“Am I bad a person for giving up?” He asked in a low voice.

Jules bit her lip knowing exactly what he meant.

“She told you to move on, didn’t she?”

“She doesn’t answer my calls….” He complained placing an arm over his eyes. “It’s been more than one month.”

“She won’t blame you. She told you to give up.” Jules remarked leaning her shoulder against the doorframe. “You are not a bad person for giving up.”

“I don’t want to…but it’s killing me inside.”

“She would hate that a lot more. That’s why she did it in the first place. So you could carry on with your life.”

He sat on the bed suddenly as if he was one of those dolls coming out from a box to scare someone.

He didn’t look at Jules; instead he stared at his poster over Lillie’s desk as if he was somewhere else very far away.

Maybe he was saying goodbye to that room, to his memories, to Lillie all over again.

Jules couldn’t bear to see that personal moment and looked away “Did you find what you were looking for?”

“Yes. Thank you!”

He stood up and passed by Jules with no hesitation leaving the apartment. 

“Who was it?”

Did he even have to ask?!

“Lillie!” Jules answered turning in the bed and facing her boyfriend’s face.

Kibum opened his eyes like a cute cat and stretched his arms.

“She is back to Korea!”

“WHAT?” That woke him up and Kibum sat on the bed rubbing his messed up bed hair. “Like In Seoul?”

“No. At the door of your parents’ house back in Daegu! YES IN SEOUL!”

Kibum blinked his eyes frowning a little and scratched his chest “You must be happy!”

“I am! I’m so…so happy but so worried for her! She mentioned Jinki!”

“Oh!”

Jules placed her bare feet on the floor and Kibum moved to back hug her cutely, his arms wrapping around her stomach.

“I need to go pick her up at the airport!”

“I know” He mumbled against her skin, delivering a lot of kisses to her neck and shoulder. “I just miss you already.”

They were so busy lately, with him having too many schedules and her working double because of her promotion. That night was one of the rare moments they could be together and that was one of the rare moments they were that lame and sweet.

“Maybe you can go by my apartment tonight?” She said turning around and he tucked her beautiful blond locks behind her ears, fixing her hair like a pro.

“Won’t you be busy with Lillie?”

“She doesn’t sleep in my bed!” Jules sang and he chuckled.

“You only think about that!” He poked her nose and then lied down again, tangling his legs on the sheets.

“Yes, lie down like a Greek Adonis and then be surprised that I only want !”

He didn’t answer closing his eyes with a satisfied grin and Jules stood up grabbing her clothes from the floor.

“Are you going to tell Lillie about Jinki?” He asked when she was hooking her bra.

“I have right? But later. The poor girl just arrived!”

“You are right. Give her a moment to settle in.”

“And you?” she turned around pulling her shirt down her torso “Are you telling Jinki that she is back?”

“Better not!”

Jules pouted with his answer and he groaned.

“This situation makes me so sad and frustrated!”

“Sometimes relationships end, love end!” Kibum said and she sat over him in bed still only wearing her and shirt.

“But that is the thing. They still love each other. I’m almost 100% certain of it.”

Kibum didn’t say anything and she pinched him on his arm making him scream.

“ Jules are you crazy?!”

“Tell me! Jinki loves her doesn’t he?”

“Do you really want to know my opinion?” he asked and she raised her fingers making him grab her hand. “Fine!” He sighed sitting up in the bed, facing her “I think that he still loves her. However he has a girlfriend now and that is not fair for her. Also it’s not our business!”

“I know but…” she puckered her lips again and he sighed not used to Jules aegyo. She rarely did that before and now she was doing it more and more. It made him go crazy.

“Stop doing that!” He complained and Jules puffed her cheeks poking them.

“NOOO!” Kibum covered his eyes cringing at the scene and Jules laughed kissing him, both falling into the bed.

“I can’t believe you have a car now!” Lillie said from the passenger‘s seat, next to Jules, that was driving, on their way to their apartment.

“I know?!” Jules said opening the window of the car, the window making her blonde hair flick. “I realized how much I was missing one and since I got promoted I decided to get one.”

“I’m surprised though!” Lillie said grabbing her hair because of the wind “I mean I know you got promoted and you are almost a big boss inside the tutoring center but still, a car is very expensive and you were paying the apartment alone…”

“Kibum helped me with that and I saved up….besides…”

Jules seemed a little uncomfortable and Lillie completed for her.

“You were going to move to a smaller apartment right?” Of course she would, even Jules almost gave up on her coming back.

“Well you can’t blame me! You said you wouldn’t come back until your dad was out of the coma. Then you call me saying he woke up and still you don’t come back. What do you wanted me to think and do? That apartment is filled with our memories Lillie. I couldn’t live there alone!”

Lillie’s eyes moved to the window. She completely understood what Jules meant and she didn’t blame her and yet that hurt a little.

Yes Lillie’s life stopped in time but the other’s people’s life didn’t. Jules kept living, all her friends kept living and probably Jinki did too. That scared her a little, what she missed, how things were probably different now.

“Are you upset?” Jules asked a little afraid.

“No!” Lillie gave Jules her best smile “Not at all! But since I’m here we will keep the apartment right?”

“OF COURSE!” Jules laughed turning on the radio.

“I’m so excited!” Lillie exclaimed happily observing the streets, buildings and people they passed by “I missed Korea so much!”

“Aren’t you tired?” Jules  asked over the music “ And wow you look so pretty!”

“Really?” Lillie frowned knowing how Jules was being biased because she loved her “I look like a panda!”

“Panda’s are cute and your hair…” Jules moved her hand to Lillie’s brown hair “It’s so long now! You truly look like a princess now!”

The comment made Lillie laugh.

“You are very thin though…” Jules said sadly.

“Well I didn’t have much appetite. I had a lot of worries this last months and I cried a lot…”

There was no point on denying the obvious. When Lillie looked back on her months away from Korea she could only see herself either watching over her father sleeping or crying. It got worse after she broke up with Onew. But that was over now and she wanted to forget that those months even happened.

“I’m sorry!” Jules pated her leg friendly “But now you are here again and there is no more crying!”

Lillie grabbed Jules’s hand. “I missed you!”

“I missed you too Tokki!”

The name made Lillie giggle. Tokki….

“Tokki! No one calls me that in a long time.” Jinki barely called her that on the phone when they were still dating.

Jules parked the car and turned to Lillie immediately startling her that was trying to see the building she called home.

“Let me look at you now!”

Lillie covered her face cutely “No! I told you that I am a panda right now!”

“Aigo!” Jules pulled Lillie’s hands away. She was still the same as she remembered however her cute chubby cheeks were gone and she looked like a tired and older version of the Lillie she loved. She still had the same smile and the childish sparkle in her eyes. It was funny but she looked more mature and feminine now.  “You look really beautiful!”

“YAAA!” Lillie laughed embarrassed but delighted with Jules comment.

Lillie helped Jules take her bags from the car’s trunk and once again remarked “I still can’t believe you got yourself a beautiful blue car.”

“I can’t either!” Jules groaned pulling the heavy trolley from inside it. “It was Kibum’s fault in a way. I was tired of him driving me on dates. Female Power you know…”

Lillie giggled pulling the trolley next to her.

“As always…Jules is daebak!”

They took the luggage to the apartment and Lillie screamed once she entered it. It was almost everything like when she left.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M HERE!” Lillie screamed running around the living room and into the kitchen.

Jules followed her with her eyes laughing at the scene. “I didn’t touch anything inside your room!”

“Really?” Lillie came out from the kitchen with sparkling eyes and then run to her bedroom.

She hesitated at the door and then entered it.

It was exactly as she left it, Onew and SHINee posters in the walls, his pillow over the bed, her purple covers where Onew lied down so many times before, her desk where he made her sit on their crazy y teacher roleplay. It was all the same.

“I did well right?” Jules asked from the door watching her “It’s your hiding place and the main reason I didn’t sell the apartment yet. I didn’t want to touch anything. Actually we called it Lillie’s sanctuary!”

Lillie bit her lip avoiding looking at Jules, touching her things over the desk instead.

“We called it that because Min and Rin used to come here sometimes. We all would watch tv here and have fun together. That way we felt as if you were with us too!”

Lillie turned around with tears on her eyes. “Ow…”

“Don’t cry silly!” Jules said sniffing a little. “Also….Jinki…”

“Jinki?” The words seemed to light Lillie’s eyes and Jules wasn’t sure if she should mention his visit to her. It was a bad idea but Lillie’s eyes were on her as if she just told her the lottery winning number.

“He came here once too.” Jules said avoiding Lillie’s eyes.

“He did why?”

“He said he forgot something but I don’t think he touched anything or took anything with him. He simply lied down on the bed and I found him sleeping later.” Jules forced a smile hiding the real reason of his visit and details from Lillie. It would break her to know that he came there to say goodbye, to take a final step into forgetting her. “Onew condition!”

Lillie didn’t smile though.

“It was after you two…you know...” Jules said pursing her lips.

“We broke up!”

“Yeah!”

He missed her and like Min and Rin he searched for a bit of her in her bedroom. Jules said he did that only once though so he probably found another way to get over his pain. Lillie looked at the covers of her bed again. He was there; he lied over them and fell asleep. It made her all warm and suddenly she wanted to do the same.

“It’s ok!” Lillie said moving to the bed caressing the pillow where he probably lied down his head and down to where his body must have been. “I’m here now.”

Jules didn’t say anything. The way Lillie spoke was as if her presence solved everything and erased the past few months and the repercussions it had on everyone but Jules knew it didn’t. It was probably too late to come back to what was before; she only didn’t know how to tell her friend that.

“Should I go buy lunch for us or should I cook something delicious?  Should I call Rin and Min?” Jules suggested changing subject.

“YES! Can you?”

“Sure!” Jules clapped her hands “Then I’m going out to buy everything! “ She chuckled “Shower, sleep and you know….just feel like you are home!”

Lillie smiled and waved at Jules before she left. She sat on her bed and lied down on the same spot that she imagined Onew being before.

Her eyes moved around her bedroom and she let herself relax. She was home.

Jinki poster was just beside her bed and she smiled at him covering her face embarrassed.

What did she feel like doing now?! It was a long time ever since she had these thoughts.  She rarely thought about what she wanted during all those months.

Lillie should take a bath or maybe sleep…or eat anything….No.

What she truly wanted was to see him, to kiss him, to smell his scent to hear his laughter. There wasn’t anything she wanted more than Jinki.

Since he didn’t know that she was back she will meet him instead. Yes she could do that. She can walk to his dorm and wait there for the whole day if necessary, to see him.

The Lillie from before would have stayed home waiting for him, afraid to visit him. But this Lillie isn’t afraid of going after what she wants and she wants him.

She stood up and rubbed her face. It was time to cover her panda eyes, get herself presentable for Jinki.

Jinki drank his coffee and watched Hyung-Soo, his hyung and best friend, also known to the public as K.Will move in the middle of the piles of LPs he made.

“Why are you even doing that?” He asked just when Hyung-Soo started to place one of the piles in the shelf.

“It’s called a collection!” He explained “It needs to follow a certain order!”

Jinki his lips admired with his hyung patience. If it was him he would just had put them in a random place. Maybe the ones he liked best first.

“I wish my heart and mind was in order too!”

Hyung-Soo didn’t turn to look at him but still answered “Tell me!”

“Aigo…” Jinki rubbed his head and clenched his teeth closing his eyes before  speaking afraid of the scolding he would get. “I dreamed with her.”

Hyung-Soo didn’t scold him though. He kept placing LP’s in the shelf. “That’s cos she is your woman!”

Jinki bit his lower lip and sat back on the couch of his friend’s living room “I didn’t mean Min Hee. I meant…” The long pause he made wasn’t even necessary since there wasn’t any other woman he would be dreaming about “Lillie!”

Her name still sounded beautiful to him, as if it was music.

K.Will finally turned around with an old LP that didn’t seem to be in a very good state in his hand “I know! Lillie, your woman!”

He turned to his collection again and Jinki felt like crying.

“Aish…hyung….”

K.Will laughed with his reaction. Jinki could be so cute sometimes.

“You are torturing me every time you say that!”

“Am I saying any lie?” The older man asked changing two LP’s from place. He was losing his concentration because Jinki wouldn’t stop talking.

“I’m dating Min Hee!” Jinki said firmly.

“I didn’t say you were dating Lillie.” He didn’t even know the girl personally even though he felt like he did with everything he heard about her from Jinki “I only said she was your woman!”

Jinki was in pain and he leaned forward on the couch “What does that even mean?”

K-Will sighed standing up. “I wonder!” He turned around, his eyes moving from pile to pile as if he was searching for something “Maybe it means the one who crossed your path and you know that she belongs there, in your life. The one who makes you want to be by her side? To take care of her? To love…to marry…that kind…the ones that inspires you to sing a love song!”

“That sounds a lot like the lyrics of your songs…”

“And what are they about Jinki? Love!”

Jinki frowned drinking his coffee “I think I need something stronger.”

“No alcohol before lunch!” The hyung said almost tripping on one of his piles.

He avoided it for inches until Onew spoke again.

“Hyung I had with Min Hee!”

“Damn!” K.Will saw his pile fall neatly to the floor and closed his eyes counting to ten because he had them already organized by dates.

Jinki didn’t even notice his struggle. His pleading worried eyes on his hyung. He was waiting for the scolding because they talked about that before, about Jinki new relationship going too fast, about him being guided by Min Hee who clearly pretended to ignore Jinki struggle with his past feelings.

“No!” Was K.Will only answer.

“Yes. I did!”

The hyung looked at him rubbing his forehead. “Was it good at least? She is hot!”

“She is my girlfriend!” Jinki frowned.

“I know. I’m sorry!” K.Will said kneeling on the floor and joining the pile again the best he could, trying to save it. “Doesn’t change the fact that she is hot!”

That made Jinki laugh and he nodded his head thinking about what he was asked about “Yes . It was good.”

“And?” It sounded like he was answering how lunch was.

“It was pleasurable…” Jinki was blushing a little his eyes on his hands.

“Where? On your car? Was it quick?”

Jinki rubbed his neck wondering why he was being asked all that.

“No. Her apartment. Her roommates weren’t in.”

“It was quick then?”

“Yes…”

“Not much !” The hyung added and Jinki chuckled nervously.

“Enough….”

“Enough…” K.Will repeated frowning, sitting on the floor. “What is enough for you?”

“Will this quiz really help me?” Jinki asked not sure anymore. He never made so many questions when he spoke about Lillie and his life before. His answers were a lot more effusive back then too.

“You came here for a reason didn’t you?”

“Yes but why are we discussing the details?!”

“Because women analyze things through feelings and man do it through actions! So they say…”

“Hum…” Jinki didn’t seem sure about it “Well there was kissing and touching and groping…you know the usual!” His ears were so red but K.Will didn't make any comment instead he released a short hum.

“What hum?”

Hyung-Soo his lips organizing the messed up pile again and then set his eyes on Onew.

“Why aren’t fireworks exploding over your head?”

Jinki smiled with his comment “It’s only !”

“It wasn’t when you had your first time with your ex. Besides it’s been some months of thirst. You should be happier.”

“Yes but that time it was my first time…That was why.”

K.Will didn’t seem convinced. Onew always showed up at his place in a good mood after he was with Lillie.

“Hyung…” Jinki played with his mug.

“Hum?” He answered as if Jinki was his son.

“I liked it but I don’t feel like doing it again.”

That caught Hyung-Soo attention and he moved his body so he could face Jinki.

“Am I weird?” Jinki asked worried. He didn’t even told that to the other SHINee members afraid that they would .

“Why don’t you want to have with her again?”

“It’s not like I don’t want…..I just don’t feel the need to.”

“Lack of ual desire? Did she kill your thirst for ? You were like a bunny before!”

Jinki almost smiled because Lillie used to call him that. It wasn’t far from the truth.

“It’s not like that….it’s because…It wasn’t planned and we started making out and it happened.”

“Did you….”

“I used a ! I’m safe!”

“Good boy!” K-Will said relieved. “So you regret it?”

“It’s not that I regret it but after….” Jinki’s eyes were everywhere but on K.Will and he frowned.

“After?”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about what I did before with…you know, and comparing and I felt…”

“Guilty?”

“Not guilty because I’m not dating her anymore but the thing is, Min Hee is so y and it was good but Lillie…” He sighed trying to find the words “It was…wow…And it was you know, after we would cuddle and it felt nice and….we were good together!”

K.Will laughed with Jinki lack of words “I see. So Min Hee failed in the comparison?”

“I’m an right?” Jinki asked troubled.

“No Jinki!” The hyung placed his arms over the table and explained to him “You can’t compare a girlfriend with your woman. It’s as simple as that! Because any other woman will fail in comparison with her, she is the one who makes you weak on your knees, the one who makes your heart beat like crazy…she is your woman!”

“I feel like an idiot!” Jinki said rubbing his head.

“Give it time!”

“To forget Lillie?” He wasn’t sure he could even do it. His feelings weren’t much unchanged.

The older man chuckled “No. To like Min Hee for whom she is, to appreciate her and to accept the fact that you can still be happy with the second best.”

Jinki released a deep sigh “Why do I feel even more awful now?”

“I didn’t know that I was supposed to make you feel better! I thought you came to help me clean up!”

“Aigo…” Jinki complained cutely and K.Will laughed at his reaction.

“Come…help me with this!”

Jinki didn’t even answer, instead he was thinking about that time when he was watching the fake stars that Key’s projector made appear on the ceiling of his room, about the conversation he had with Lillie. They called themselves star crossed lovers and Lillie said she didn’t want to be like Juliet.

He also didn’t want to be like Romeo, suffering for an impossible love that lead him to death.

Lillie didn’t found the usual security man and yet she had no trouble entering since her ID still worked. Apparently her “old friend” was on vacation and they hired a substitute.

She climbed the stairs and was going to enter the elevator when she got a call. She struggled with her bag, happy that she did a good job choosing one of Jinki favorite dresses that she now probably swam inside because she was thinner, but it still looked good on her.

“Where are you? I’m home!” Jules asked from the other side.

“I’m at Jinki dorm to surprise him!”

It was as if something broke on the other side of the line because Lillie heard a loud crash.

“WHAT?”

She chuckled with her friend’s reaction and entered the elevator.

 “Why are you so surprised? I can’t wait any longer!”

“Lillie come back home!” Jules said almost as if it was plead. Lillie frowned a little taken aback. Why was Jules missing her already?!

“No. No way! In a few minutes I can see him.”

“He isn’t home probably!” Jules said desperate making Lillie grin. “He must have a lot of schedules!”

“It’s ok. I’ll wait for him!”

“Lillie really…listen to me!”

“Aigo Jules! See ya later, ok?!”

Lillie turned off her phone and step outside the elevator, counting the steps to the door of his dorm.

She took a deep breath and then rang the bell wondering if they changed the code. They probably did, they did it all the time for security measures.

No one came to open and she wondered if she had to wait outside for him.

She rang it again just when someone opened it.

Minho was exactly the same, using a white t-shirt and track pants his phone on his hand. He widened his eyes when he saw her and Lillie opened her arms in a greeting, giving him a huge smile.

“Lillie…” He mumbled.

“Yes Lillie!” Someone said coming from his phone that he had in speaker mode. “That is what I am saying!” It was Kibum’s voice clearly.

“Ahhhh.” Minho turned off the speaker mode quickly and gesture for Lillie to enter the apartment while he turned around to speak on his phone.

Lillie pouted cutely not happy with the reception. It was as if he wasn’t glad to see her. She stepped inside the apartment and closed the door. She took off her shoes her eyes searching as out of habit for the bunny slippers. Of course they weren’t there anymore and she sighed entering the living room.

“I’m sorry!” Minho said for the corner speaking on the phone with a low voice “Kibum I’ll call you later! Lillie is here!”

He turned off the phone and smiled at her. At least this time he seemed sincere and he steeped closer a little awkward patting her shoulder. It was cute and Lillie couldn’t help but smile back.

“Welcome back!” He said rubbing his hands “Did you come on vacation?”

“No. I came to stay!” She looked around noticing small changes they did for the decoration. “My dad has recovered.”

“Oh really? That is awesome. “

He stood in silence looking at her and Lillie moved her hand nervously on her dress wondering why Minho was being so awkward.  “So did you eat already? I was going to go out to eat just now…I was waiting for Jonghyun so he could pay me a meal as he promised.”

Lillie frowned because that sounded a lot as if he was trying to make her leave since he didn’t seem ready yet to go out.

“I came to see Jinki. Is he home?” She asked interrupting him.

“Ahhh” Why was he even surprised? Of course she came for Jinki! “He isn’t home. He went to visit a friend, I think!”

“Good! I can wait!” Lillie peeked at the corridor, the door of his bedroom was closed and she really missed it. She missed his smell and his things…also his bed. They were so happy inside that bedroom, and Jinki asked her to marry him inside it too.

Minho didn’t say anything so Lillie sat on the couch and pursed her lips while she waited, humming In your eyes to herself.

She sent Minho a questionable look since he didn’t move and she almost could see him think. “Actually it’s better if you come later. He is probably going to be away for hours! We have practice and everything!”

“It’s ok. I waited more than half an year to see him. I can wait a few hours!” Nothing in the world would make her leave that couch and Minho knew that.

He watched her while she moved her legs like a kid humming one of Jinki solo songs and he run away to the bathroom to call Key.

He was speaking with him when Lillie arrived. Jules was the one who warned Key and asked him to do something. He called Minho so he wouldn’t open the door, but it was too late!  

“She is in the living room. What should I do? Should I call Jinki hyung?” Minho asked Kibum on the phone.

“No, you idiot! I’m arriving ok…don’t do anything silly!” Key answered.

Minho turned off the call and nervously walked outside again.

That’s when the door opened. For a brief moment he thought it was Jinki but no it was Jonghyun that came to meet him for lunch.

“HYUNG! “ Minho said happily, too happy, almost scaring Jonghyun that widened his eyes surprised.

“JONGHYUN!” Lillie exclaimed too, happy to see him, her cheeks getting a little pink.

Jonghyun stared at her as if she was a ghost and then greeted her. “You are back!”

She grinned happily nodding and he felt sorry for her because she clearly didn’t know anything yet. “Does Rin know you are back?”

“I haven’t spoken to her yet. But I believe Jules told her already! I will meet her later. I wanted to see Jinki first!”

“Of course…” Jonghyun trailed off sending Minho a helpless look.

Clearly Minho didn’t want to break her heart and tell her so he was happy Jonghyun was there to do the dirty work before Jinki was back.

“Why are you all acting so weird?” Lillie knew them too well by now to not catch them exchanging weird looks. “Did anything happen to Jinki? Is he sick?”

Last time he was sick…

“He is fine.” Jonghyun said rubbing his lips “But maybe you should go home and call him and settle a time to meet him instead, so you can both talk.”

”I don’t understand…” She said moving her innocent eyes from one man to another.

“He moved on!” Minho said suddenly making Jonghyun gasp.

What the hell was he doing?! They should have let Jinki tell her.

“He moved? Did he change apartments?” Lillie asked with her bunny eyes and Jonghyun closed his preparing to be the bad hunter in that fairytale, killing the poor fluffy, cute animal.

“No. You two broke up and…” She paled immediately and he knew that she was joining the pieces now. “He is dating someone else.”

She opened slightly but no reaction came from her.

“How…” They broke up a few months ago. She was still crying almost every day because she missed him and he had a girlfriend already!?

"It happened because they were really close already and it wasn’t planned…it just happened!” Jonghyun tried to explain.

“I see…” She said holding on tears, biting her lower lip with so much strength that Minho was sure she would make blood soon. “Is she good to him?”

Jonghyun was giving her the pity look and Lillie felt like running away, a strong pain taking hold of her chest “Yes I believe so. We are in the same company. Her name is Min Hee. She is a good girl!”

She didn’t move and they could see a tear escape her eyes so she rubbed her eyes pretending that she was itchy instead.

“I’m sorry!” Jonghyun said “I’m really sorry it didn’t work out between you two, that life found a way to separate you.”

“I’m sorry I came!” She said suddenly turning around and walking quickly to the door grabbing her shoes. “Please don’t tell him I was here…or that I am in Korea!”

“Lillie wait…” Minho said but she was storming out the door already.

Both man stood in silence and Jonghyun hit Minho.

“Why did you have to say he moved on?”

“It came off ok?!….We probably should go after her. She looked like she was going to collapse!”

Jonghyun sighed “There isn’t much we can do!”

“Are we really not going to tell Jinki?” Minho asked uncertain.

“Of course not! It’s the first thing I’ll tell him when he arrives. I’m a big Linew shipper!”

“What?” Minho widened his eyes.

"Don't pretend you aren't!

Lillie imagined that moment in her head so many times. How he would smile when he saw her, how she would cry of happiness, how everything would fit perfectly into place. Yet everything went wrong and her worst nightmare, the one she always told herself ever since they started dating was happening.

Jinki found his dream girl.

Lillie didn’t know Min Hee but if she was an idol she had an idea of what kind of person she was. She probably had so many things in common with him, she understood him in a higher level, she was beautiful y and talented. She was everything Jinki tried to see on her and she failed to deliver.

For a few seconds she felt like the old Lillie and she barely could wait for the elevator to arrive before she started sobbing.

Nothing in the world hurt more than that. Not only he forgot about her in a couple months but he already found someone to love. She felt replaced. No more than that she felt wronged.

He said so many times how he loved her and only her, how she was irreplaceable. What a joke!

She was the only idiot who thought like that, the only one still loving in that broken relationship, wishing to meet again, to make it work.

He promised to love her forever. The idea made her hiccup and she finally entered the elevator leaning against the wall.

She was an idiot. Jules tried to warn her, to save her from that humiliation and she didn’t hear it because she was busy making fantasies in her head. She cleaned her eyes but she couldn’t stop crying and she was ruining her makeup.

No water proof eyeliner would survive that ocean.

Lillie opened her bag searching for a tissue inside it, her hands and lips trembling when the doors opened. She raised her eyes from the bag to the door and froze.

Lee Jinki was staring at her from the bottom of the stairs, ready to come up; also frozen in place, surprised with eyes wide open, looking at her as if she was a ghost.

NO!

He was still the same, handsome with his green shirt and black jeans, breathtaking, the owner of her heart that was a total mess at the moment. He seemed stronger now. He was probably exercising! For his new girlfriend?

Lillie panicked. She couldn’t face him now. Not in that crying mess, not feeling like the old Lillie again. She needed to recover; she needed to disappear from his life, to erase his existence from her heart before meeting him again.

She quickly touched the button to close the doors and that’s when he took action, realizing what was happening and run to the door. She hit a random button of a random floor and stepped back seeing the doors close on him before he reached them. In a heartbeat of her heart, the man she wished to see the most disappeared once again.

She cried of relief when the elevator moved floors and immediately as it opened she stumbled outside and run into the emergency stairs,not even caring to see in which floor she was, hiding. She stood there against the door breathing erratically, tears running down her face.

That was meant to be one of the best days of her life and yet she felt like it was the worst.

Her legs failed her and Lillie sat on one of the steps with her head between her knees crying in silence.

Lillie wasn’t sure for how long she stayed there crying. She muted her phone after Jules tried to call her 3 times, and after Key tried too she turned it off and hugged herself until she had no more tears left.

She was right. She end up seeing him in her first day in Korea. She could have asked him if he missed her, but she knew the answer already. He didn’t!

Lillie didn’t want to speak with or see anyone.

She needed to mourn.

This time it was definitive. Jinki didn’t love her anymore. Their love died.

Only she stayed in that unattainable love. 

Turn back a thousand times to the moment we first went to that point
I'll take away everything from that one corner of my heart

The name I loved
Became too distant as I went out to call it
I now write that name down
I'm on the verge of tears
I want to hide within myself
Remember that day now
Where all I could do was love you
Because an unachievable love is still love
Because an unachievable love is still love

You have no idea how nervous I am..ahahaha

So this is the first chapter and first of all I hope you liked it.

I have several things to mention I hope I don't forget any.

First the initial draft of my chapter didn't have the first scene, the past one with Jinki but I meant to mention it later. However I think it was important to have it here because I wanted you to see Jinki’s point of view. Now you also can understand why he got so quick into a relationship with Min Hee. It kinda happened as you will see for other flashbacks I will place around the story. He decided to move on since that was what seemed right to do at the time. He was being pressured by SHINee and everyone around him and in the end that was what Lillie wanted. And in the scene with Jules de decides to do just that. What she wanted!

About Lillie. She was selfish. Yes I’m sad over her and I cried (more on Jinki scene though omg my baby…) and here we mostly see her side of the story. We see her heart get broken but can she really be surprised about it? I mean she told him to move on and yet she foolishly hoped that he would wait as we can see by her reaction and will see on the following chapters.

I think I needed to explain this before you start judging my two babies…don’t judge them…T__T

The elevator scene…safgrthyf you have no idea how I play that scene in my mind…movie like! XD

Aaah I know no Taemin here. He was supposed to be. I swear, but I cut his scene for the next chapter.

Hum…what else…AH K.Will. Ok I have no idea how he is in real life and I rarely add real people to my fics outside from SHINee. Why? Because I don’t know them well…not even in front of a camera. This is the same. So if he sounds weird or whatever and you are a fan I’m sorry. I really think K.Will is very cool. And I love how close he seems to Jinki so I wanted to add a scene where he went to someone, a hyung, he respected asking for advice, someone outside SHINee. That’s why it end up being him. He will probably show up a little more from now on, as Jinki’s funny cool hyung who loves his collections ahahah.

Also I felt bad cos I always wrote about Lillie and her friends and poor jinks barely met his. XD

Ah changed the way I fit the song into the story too. No more lyrics in the middle to annoy you.  Still one chapter will have a song as always. They might repeat this time though…cos I and I’m lazy to see if I used it before.

Also do you like my cute new text divider? Ahaha Monkey Jinki and Penguin Lillie and cute bunnies….omg it’s so lame but I made it…>//<

Should I get back to the old one?

Give me your opinion about this and the chapter. What did you like or didn’t? Tell me everything!

Also subscribe (I have so many already and I was deadly afraid to have none…SO THANK YOU!) and comment!

Love you! ^^

(I always write so much…)

(By the way support Taemin solo! He is amazing and I really love his album. He worked hard so let’s work hard too! And follow Jinki new drama…I’m dying with doctor Onew feels…..almost wrote a prequel to the hospital is too big scene…if you know what I mean….damn how to find myself a y cute doctor like him?!)