When I arrive at the Galmegi, I stop dead in my tracks.

The place is packed.

“Oh my god,” I breathe, scanning the crowd through the windows. Is that- is that Zico? And Gyuri? And Gayoon? What the hell? All of these old gang members- were they all in the CRP? How did BAP manage to gather all of these people in such a short amount of time?

I open the door, and every eye in the room pivots to me. The raucous din immediately ceases. The room is utterly silent as everyone gapes at me. I stare right back at them.

And then someone breathes, “Lia,” and the pub fills with commotion once again as old friends rush to me, embrace me. Someone swings an arm around my shoulders- Kyung- as L hollers, “She’s back, everybody!”

“It’s so good to see you guys!” I exclaim. “Holy , Bora, you cut your hair!”

Bora fingers her short blonde locks and grins. “You’re about two years too late, sweetie.”

“It looks good, dude. And- whoa, Chunji! You finally built some muscle!”

“You little ,” he growls, affectionately mussing up my hair. “I was always buff.”

“Hyo, you got so pretty!” Sulli squeals. “Look at you! You’re all grown up!”

I can’t stop grinning. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Zelo shove through the crowd and make his way to me. There is a grim look on his face, but when he sees me laughing, his firm expression softens.

“Hey, have you two gotten married yet?” Ren hollers, nodding towards Zelo. I roll my eyes while Zelo flushes a deep shade of puce.

“That’s a good question, actually!” Aron shouts. “You two were basically conjoined at the hip!”

“Dating Zelo would be like dating my brother,” I gag. “I’m not into .”

“She can’t handle all of this,” Zelo adds, flexing his muscles. I pretend to chuck my bag at him in exasperation.

Damn, this is amazing. The drama I went through with Joonmyeon this morning is pushed to the back of my mind as my Jieun drags me to a long table and announces, “Time for lunch!” We all sit down and get situated just as Daehyun barges out of the kitchen, carrying a huge bowl of stew.

“Lia! There you are!” he says. “You need to talk to Yongguk. He’s in the kitchen.”

Sighing, I stand up and mutter, “I’ll be back, guys.”

“I’ll come with you,” Zelo says, and both of us head out of the room.

“Look, I’m sorry,” I say as I barge into the kitchen- and then stiffen.

Officer Hwang is leaning on the counter next to Yongguk, Himchan, and the other members of BAP. They are all gathered around a laptop, engaged in serious discussion. When they hear me come in, they look up.

“Just in time,” Jongup says.

“What’s going on?” I ask warily, setting down my bag. “Officer Hwang, why-,”

“It’s not like I have any other place to be,” she says evenly. “After all, I was laid off this morning.”

My jaw drops. “What? Why? Because of last night? Holy , Officer, I’m so sorry-,”

“Don’t be. And don’t call me ‘Officer’.” She sighs. “It wasn’t just because of last night- it couldn’t have been. One mistake definitely didn’t erase my years of hard work. And my boss was too vague about why I was getting let go. Something about job performance. I don’t know.”

My fists clench by my side. “It must’ve been Suho.”

“Probably. At any rate, I’m here now. And Hyo, don’t beat yourself up over last night. We did manage to get names and faces on camera. I’ve heard a lot about BTS- now we can identify them.”

A swell of emotions wash over me; I recall Joonmyeon’s words.

My parents died so BTS could be created.

I should despise them. Absolutely loathe them. They’re terrible people.

But... they’re not.

But they’re also the reason I’m in this entire mess.

    “What’s wrong?” Himchan asks, staring at the uneasy expression on my face with narrowed eyes.

    “I found out why my parents died today,” I utter. “My dad overheard KCC’s meeting about the creation of BTS. When he ran home, their hitmen shot my mom under the assumption that my dad had told her about what he had heard already.”

    There is silence as everyone in the room lets my words sink in. Their faces reflect the stages of realization they are going through: horror, as they hear the atrocious circumstances of my parents’ death, and then shock, when they register that my parents died for BTS.

    And then anger.

    For very obvious reasons.

    “They’re going to pay,” Youngjae hisses, his fists clenched. “Those bastards-,”

    “This just further proves my point,” Officer Hwang says. “The sooner those scumbags are locked up, the better it’ll be. Disgusting.”

    I fidget with my fingers, avoiding everyone’s eyes.

    “I think we need to focus on going after Sora's father, though,” I mumble. “It’s really not BTS’ fault that this-,”

    “Are you kidding?” Himchan snorts. “Ignoring the fact that your parents died for them-,”

    “Himchan,” Daehyun says warningly.

    “Sorry.” Himchan takes a deep breath. “But aside from that, they’ve done horrible things. Just V alone could warrant the whole group a lifelong prison sentence.”

    “That er killed Chorong,” Yongguk growls.

Himchan nods emphatically. “Not to mention Sora-,”

    “What did they do to Sora?” Zelo asks confusedly.

    “They lied to her all those years about who they were! She was used as barter by her own father!”

    Zelo and I exchange an uncomfortable look. “Okay, but... that’s not their fault,” I say slowly. “And... I mean... if there’s anyone who made her reach the tipping point, it was me...,”

    Himchan rubs his temples. “I don’t know. I just- look, they obviously care about her, it’s just-,”

    “They’re criminals, period.” Officer Hwang firmly declares. “They are going to prison.”

    “Couldn’t we put them through a CRP-type of thing?” I question. “All of us have murdered, and stolen, and done terrible things. But we were able to get a clean slate.”

    “Is there even going to be a CRP after this? Practically everyone who was in the program is here right now-,”

    “It’s just not fair!” I exclaim, slamming my hand down onto the counter. “This is- this is Suho’s fault! I hate him so ing much, you all don’t even know-,”

    Emotion rises up in my throat and I have to cut myself off. Everyone in the kitchen eyes me warily; they all know that I really don’t mean half of what I’m saying, that I am furious but at the end of the day, I still love him.

    “We’re going to get him back, Lia,” Zelo whispers. “We know.”

    Yongguk’s phone suddenly buzzes. Everyone stiffens. For some reason, I think that something’s happened, that something new has occurred.

    But when Yongguk checks his phone, his tense expression dissolves.

    “It’s Jandi,” he says. “She wants us to come over to wish us a Merry Christmas.”

    I smile softly. “Sweet. Let’s go after lunch. There are people waiting for us out there.”

    Zelo beams widely. “Hell yeah.”

    As we are walking out of the kitchen, I grab Officer Hwang’s arm.

    “I’m really, really sorry. This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have gotten you involved in this, Offic- I mean...,”

    I trail off uncomfortably. Officer Hwang (I really can’t stop calling her that, even though she’s not a police officer anymore), just shakes her head.

    “Don’t worry about it,” she says. “I’ll be reinstated as an officer soon.”

“Wait, what? Really?”

“Oh, definitely. Because we’re going to resolving this entire mess, and they’re going to beg me to come back to the force.”

“Nice.”

    “Merry Christmas!” Jimin exclaims as we walk into Caramel Cafe. Immediately, my stomach drops to my feet; I feel Zelo stiffen beside me.

    Should I feel guilty? Or furious?

    Jandi hurries out from the kitchen, wearing a fluffy red sweater and holding bulky presents wrapped in shiny green wrapping paper.  

    “Merry Christmas, Lia!” she squeals. “I have gifts for all of you-,”

    “Wait.” Youngjae stiffens. “Is that- that’s Park Jimin!” He whips out a knife. “What the is going on-,”

    “Stop,” Yongguk grunts, holding out an arm to stop the members of B.A.P. from charging at a wary-looking Jimin.

    “Are we doing this again?” Jandi sighs.

    “Wha- again?” Daehyun glares at Jimin. “What the is going on? Yongguk- Zelo- what are you doing?! Lia, that’s a member of BTS!”

    “We know,” Zelo murmurs. The rest of B.A.P.- excluding me and Yongguk- look at him in shock.

    “We know?! Why are you three so calm?” Jongup furiously says. “Did we not just go over what BTS did? Lia, it was all their fault!”

    “Guys, calm down,” Jandi whispers. She has stepped in front of Jimin as if to protect him; I feel like I am frozen in place.

    “What are you talking about?” Jimin says slowly. “What was our fault?”

    “Stop,” I whisper.

    “Are you joking? They’re the reason your parents are dead!”

    Everyone in the room freezes; it is so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. Funny how this warm, comforting environment- this place that has always been a haven of laughter and fun- has fallen into tension and anger in the matter of moments.

    Tired.

    I am so tired of all this.

I sit down and explain what Joo- Suho- told me today. Jimin and Jandi look horrified- Jimin especially so. I can’t blame him completely. He didn’t ask for BTS to be formed. He didn’t pull the trigger that put the bullets in my parents’ brains.

But he might as well have, a little voice in my mind whispers.  

I don’t know.

When I finish talking, there is utter silence in the cafe.

And then Jimin utters, “This needs to end.”

“Of course,” Zelo mutters. “This wouldn’t have even started if your gang hadn’t been created.”

“I know.”

Jandi looks like she wants to say something, but she keeps shut. She is looking at Jimin with an unreadable expression.

“You’re not a bad guy,” Yongguk suddenly says. All of us look at him in surprise. “You and the rest of your gang- you were just pawns. It’s the people who created you who are at fault.”

“We need to put Joonmyeon’s father in jail,” I say, shooting up. There is a glimmer of hope on the horizon- it wasn’t really Joonmyeon, it was his father that started all this, so he doesn’t really have to go to prison, it wasn’t really his fault-

“Suho’s father is already dead,” Jimin says tonelessly. “Suho has been running BTS- and KCC- for years. Nearly every action BTS and the company have taken in the last few years have been him.”

I slump back down in my seat and bury my face in my hands. Every emotion I have been suppressing threatens to spill over and I just give up and succumb to everything for the first time since any of this has happened. My shoulders wrack with sobs and I start crying- honest to god crying- and I know that every single person sitting at this table is utterly astonished, because when does the Kim Lia ever cry?

Jandi draws closer to me and wraps her hands around me; everyone else is too shocked to even move.

“H-He- he can’t,” I whisper shakily. “He can’t...,”

“He can’t what, Lia?” Jandi murmurs.

“He can’t leave. He can’t go to jail. I...,”

“Lia...,” Yongguk comes around the table, gets down on one knee, and grabs my hands. “You know what has to be done. I know you have... feelings for him, but-,”

“I know. You think I don’t want him to suffer? He’s done so much, Yongguk. I know. But I- I-,”

My throat wells up and I can’t speak; I take a deep, staggering breath. Every single crime Joonmyeon has committed- all the violence he has been implicated in and all the manipulation he has done and the way he tore out my ing heart and threw it to the ground- they all flash through my mind.

But every bad memory is accompanied by a good one.

Holy , I ing love him so much.

This needs to end.

A/N: hello friends! this story will be ending soon