Twenty- Four

Author’s POV

            EXO had finalized their practice and returned with their new comeback album. Despite all the mess they had to deal with lately, they topped the charts as they always did. They were as sensational as usual. Sehun however, wasn’t too happy. Not that he wasn’t grateful with what they achieved, it’s just that he wasn’t mentally ready to be celebrating anything at all. He was simply distracted by his over thinking self after facing the shock from his sudden break up with Jiyeon. After a short counseling session with the agency’s management team, Sehun realized he had to focus on the group for now because that’s the least he could do after tainting the group’s image with his relationship mess.

“Are you okay Sehun?” Kai asked while lightly massaging Sehun’s shoulder after noticing his friend had been daydreaming for quite sometimes in the waiting room.

“Yeah… I’ll just go and grab some water outside.” Sehun replied before he stood up and left the room.

It’s their second week of promotion for the new album. The EXO members couldn’t help but to notice Sehun’s gloomy expression every time they’re off the camera. They knew what he was currently going through but none of them could do anything except for giving him some morale support from time to time, which didn’t quite work out as well. He spoke less that he always did, and he didn’t seem to care about the surroundings too. It’s harder for the members to see him putting on the fake smile whenever they’re on camera. But there’s no way for them to help when even Sehun refused to help himself.

“Yah, it’s Sehun sunbae-nim.”

“Let’s talk to him!”

“Are you crazy? He’s with T-ARA Jiyeon isn’t it?”

“Don’t worry. They broke up a few weeks ago.”

“Whoa great!”

Sehun took the paper cup and filled it with cold water. He heard them saying Jiyeon’s name and it didn’t help at all. After finishing the cup of water, he refilled for about three times and gulped down the cold water as if he was so thirsty. He threw the paper cup into the dustbin and was about to leave when four girls with the same outfit suddenly approached him, all smiley.

“Annyeonghaseyo sunbae-nim. We’re from rookie group,   Beautyfour. We’re a huge fans.” One of them said.

“Thanks, and good luck.” He said, maintaining his straight face. He turned around to leave but he suddenly paused and turned back towards the four girls, “Is it a good thing that I broke up with my girlfriend?”

“Huh? Why… why are you asking such question?” The other girl asked, surprised.

“I heard you guys just now.” Sehun answered.

“We’re sorry, sunbae-nim!” The girl began to bow down followed by the three next to her.

Without saying anything, Sehun just turned and left. On his way back to the waiting room, his chest suddenly felt stuffy. He quickly caressed his chest, trying to calm himself down. But right at that moment too, the waiting room’s door pulled open and the EXO members came out one by one. The first one exiting the door, Suho, happened to notice Sehun so he rushed towards him.

“Are you okay?” He worriedly asked.

“Yes. I just choked on my water just now.” Sehun made an excuse.

“Are you sure? Should we go to the hospital after the show ends?” Suho suggested.

“No hyung. I’m okay.” But then he began coughing while Suho lightly patted his back. The other members too began surrounding Sehun and Suho, concerned.

“EXO?” One of the staff called, “We need to install the mic now.”

“Sehun, can you go on?” Baekhyun asked.

“Of course. Let’s go.” Sehun told, not wanting to delay the members any longer, “I’m alright now.”

 After testing the microphones, they then went up the stage and flawlessly performed their comeback song. For being one of the top boy groups, there were many people looking up to them and they did their best to not disappoint as well. But to get where they were standing right now, there were lots of things they had to sacrifice, including their life. For being mentally distracted, they might lose their focus on the career, just like how Sehun was experiencing at the moment. As soon as their performance ended, Sehun swiftly rushed to the restroom and threw up. Kai who had been following him just caressed his back, helping him out.

“We have to go to the hospital Sehun.” Kai said while trying to help Sehun to stand up but his legs seemed to have given up, “I need help here!” Kai yelled and Chanyeol appeared running.

“Kyungsoo tell manager hyung to start the car now. We need to get Sehun to the hospital now.” Suho instructed.

Chanyeol and Kai supported Sehun and brought him to the car. He was sent straight to the hospital while the other members stayed at the broadcast station since the recording has not ended yet.

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            Sehun entered the dorm with the help of the manager that night after coming back from the hospital. The members who had been anxiously waiting at the dorm quickly rushed towards Sehun. Chanyeol then followed Sehun into the room as other members asked the manager about Sehun’s health. He helped switching on the light while Sehun carefully took a seat on his bed, slightly his forehead as he was still a tad dizzy. Chanyeol too, settled next to Sehun and let out a sigh.

“Do you think it’s worth it, damaging your own health just because of a girl?” Chanyeol began.

“This is not about Jiyeon, hyung.” Sehun denied.

“Yes it is. You’ve been careless since the day she announced the break up. You’ve passed out twice since then. Just let it go Sehun. This is the best for both of you. She must be doing fine on her own so you have to do the same.” Chanyeol tried to convince him.

“I can’t! Okay?” Sehun raised up his voice, “You don’t understand hyung. My journey began when I met Jiyeon. It’s been six years now. I’ve been loving the same girl for six years now. I’m here because of her. When I thought I have achieved what I’m striving for, I suddenly lost it. How hard do you think it is for me to face this? Right now… I feel like quitting. I feel like I can’t do this anymore. I feel like I really need help, but I don’t know who can I turn to seek for help.” Sehun finally poured out his feelings after keeping it for himself for a while.

Chanyeol then gently patted Sehun’s back, “Thanks for being honest, Sehun. I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring your feelings when I force you to just focus on the group. But for now, I want you to give yourself sufficient rest. You’ve put yourself under a lot of pressure lately so you need to restore all the energy you’ve lost.”

“Thanks, and I’m sorry, hyung.” Sehun sent an apologetic gaze towards Chanyeol.

“Alright. Please rest well. I’ll be going.”

Chanyeol then stood up and left the room. Once he shut the door, he noticed many eyes were on him. The members were sitting at the living room while curiously staring at Chanyeol. He joined them and the others stayed silent, waiting for him to relay the information to them.

“Suho hyung… I think Sehun need a rest. I don’t think he can keep up with this promotion any longer. He’s hurting… a lot. It seems like he himself refuses to give himself a chance. It’s almost like he has given up.” Chanyeol explained.

“Because of Jiyeon right?” Baekhyun asked.

“Yes. But it’s unfair to put the blame completely on Jiyeon. I talked to her and she said she did this to save EXO. She’s a senior in this industry. She had faced major scandal that ruined her group. She knows best that her relationship with Sehun somehow tainted the group’s image so she had to sacrifice their relationship. I hate myself too for selfishly letting Sehun hurting while we save ourselves. So this is the least we can do for him. Let’s give him a time to take a rest because he’s been pressuring himself too much.” Chanyeol answered.

“We just need to change the dance formation and the singing part a bit. Do you guys agree?” Suho then asked other members. They all unanimously agreed which Suho later nodded, “If that so, I will see the management team and informed them about this. Moreover, manager hyung told me Sehun met the psychiatrist in the hospital just now and they said he’s showing a lot of depression symptoms so he might really need help.”

“I hope Sehun is alright. I miss him already.” Kai pouted as he talked.

“Well you’re a temporary maknae for now.” Xiumin jokingly said, trying to living up the gloomy atmosphere.

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            Sehun was in the agency that afternoon as he was summoned by the management. It seemed like the leader had informed them that the team unanimously voted for Sehun to be excluded from the rest of their promotional period because of his decreasing health. Sehun himself was somehow surprised when the staff told him he would be taking a break starting from today