The look on Seohyun’s face the following morning had us in stitches after she left.

That fact that we slept together in the same bed wasn’t the big deal.  It was common place, especially if we were traveling, that a few of us would end up having to share a bed.  Our difference was that somehow during the night we ended up tied together in a knot. 

We were wrapped together so tightly that I questioned how I was still able to breathe.  I had to give Seohyun credit; she stood there and watched us unravel for some time without any outward sign of concern.  She was always good at keeping a straight face and even thought the spot of drool on Tiffany’s chest was funny.  It wasn’t until Tiffany sat up and dragged me with her that her expression became a little surprised. 

Somehow, Tiffany’s arm had made its way under the back of my shirt and through my sleeve during the night. We were sharing it like a conjoined twin. 

“Omo... poor girl. We have to tell her…” Tiffany said as our laughter subsided.

I nodded.  “We should have set an alarm or something.  I’ll talk to her later.”

I glanced up at Tiffany and saw that her hair was completely defying gravity, most of the back of it was standing up on end.  I smoothed it over gently with my hand and soon after, I found her eyes appraising me warmly.

This was the start of a new day.  A new life.

It would be excruciatingly difficult knowing that she’s going to be right there beside me all day long and we can’t show any outward sign of affection towards each other. My plight showed on my face and I knew she could see it because her hand made its way to the back of my neck and she pulled me in for a kiss. 

I felt immediate comfort.  She grabbed me by the top of my pajama pants to pull me closer.  Her fingertips crossed the line underneath my shirt to rest flat against my stomach as she kissed me deeper.  The place where she touched me burned and reverberated throughout every nerve in my body.  I could actually feel my face flushing with blood and broke the kiss looking a little embarrassed.

“Are you trying to kill me?” I asked the same question I'd been asking myself all week long.

Her smile alone was her response.  She leaned back against my pillow and just stared at me contently, her eyes; perfectly arched lines.

Someone knocked on the door and Sunny came in then, not looking in our direction. 

“I just need to grab something.” She muttered, obviously not trying to draw too much attention to herself.

“You! Was my bed comfortable?”  Tiffany pointed at her accusingly.

“Yep!” Sunny grinned.  She grabbed some workout clothes from her closet and turned to face us at the door.  “I’d ask if mine was comfortable too but it doesn’t look like you used it.”

She closed the door behind her.

“She’s got you there.” I said, smirking.

Tiffany sighed.

“I should really get ready.” 

She got to her feet and I followed her as if i was leading her to her front door after a first date.  Seeing Sunny brought me back down to earth and reminded me all about reality.  I wasn't ready to face it, I could have stayed in bed with Tiffany all day and forgot about who I was... Being alone with her this morning, I didn't feel like an international pop star.

“Don’t look like that.” Tiffany said, using her hands to mold my face into a more desireable expression.  “I’m going to be with you all day.”

Sunny came back in then and all my hopes of an 'official' goodbye kiss were thwarted.  Tiffany squeezed my hands and smiled at me before leaving.

I started dressing, vaguely aware that I was choosing my clothes more carefully than I normally would for a simple practice.  I eventually decided on my pink pants with a white tank top. 

They said pink on the .  I couldn’t possibly think of a more appropriate day to wear these. 

Sunny staring at my outfit too, obviously dissatisfied.

“Hopeless dork.” She said as she walked over to me. 

“Yah! What are you doing?” I said. She started rolling the top of my pants down to reveal more of my stomach.

“You’re trying to look y for your girlfriend, right?” She turned me around and continued to roll them until they got tighter in the . 

“Right.” She said, turning me back around and fixing my hair under a trucker hat, leaving a bit of my fringe out. 

I stared at her incredulously.

“How... come you’re not bombarding me with questions?”

She smiled all knowingly, “Because your answers are already on your face.”

I smiled.

Thank you, Sunny.

After brushing my teeth, I eyed myself in the mirror in my room and sprayed a bit of perfume. I took the hat off to refix my fringe and found a perfectly round bruise underneath my hair.  It was purple now and I actually kind of liked it, it was proof that last night was real. I wondered if Tiffany had one, too; we could make couple bruises a new fashion statement.  I laughed to myself.

I considered putting on a bit of makeup when I heard someone yell something about our ride being there from the living room.

I did one last quick inventory check befored I turned for the door.  Tiffany was leaning against my door frame grinning at me.  Her eyes appraising my outfit.  She looked pleased.

My girlfriend.  I’m sure I was swollen with pride by now.

She bit her lip and stepped back into the hall.  The last of the girls were heading out the front door and completely out of view.  She pulled me with her backwards, across the hall, into the bathroom where she pulled my faced to hers and I melted when I finally got to taste her lips again.  She finished it by biting on my lower lip and giving me yet another look I’ve never seen on her face before.  I was certain at this point that she was indeed trying to kill me.

“Come on.” She said, walking around me and down the hall.

When she moved, I saw what I couldn’t see before.  Tiffany’s height had eclipsed the fact that we had backed Yuri into a corner.  Yuri gazed at me with an open mouthed smile, her brush a mere afterthought hanging aloof at her side.

Shock froze me to the spot as we stared eachother down.  I didn't really care that Yuri knew last night was an absolute success, I knew she'd figure it out sooner or later anyway, all of them would. I just wasn't exactly prepared to have them watching me in action.

“Omo...” Yuri whispered.  Her eyes were gigantic.

I swallowed hard, turning on the spot and nearly walking into the door before pulling it open and leaving.

Even when I got outside of the door and was walking towards the elevator I could hear Yuri yelling after me…

The week blurred by and before I knew it, it was the morning of our return to Music Bank. 

Things around the dorm had calmed down some.  With our return approaching so quickly, Tiffany and I had sort of become old news, a sideshow to those who knew about us.  I still hadn’t legitimately sat everyone down and told them about us but those that were curious did ask. And I did tell them, Sooyoung and Yoona specifically, but it wasn’t like we were trying to hide it. We held hands around the dorm and cuddled together just like any other couple would.  It felt effortless.

It was always effortless with Tiffany.

Sunny voluntarily moved out into Jessica’s room.  I was thankful she initiated that herself or I would have felt horrible asking her to leave after everything she’d done for me.  She sort of became my resident relationship advice therapist.   I’m so very lucky to have her.  She attributed all the overwhelming support I received from the other girls to the fact that ‘We aren’t living in our mother’s generation anymore’.

Every time she said it, it made me think about my mom.  The thought of telling my family that was in a gay relationship terrified me above everything else.  My parents always liked Tiffany the most but in most Asian families a declaration of homouality usually resulted in being disowned.  I know my parents would be very disappointed. 

But I wasn’t even ready to started using labels such as “Lesbian” or “Gay” to describe myself yet.  I never really felt anything for anyone until Tiffany, not this strong anyway.  Whether or not she’s the exception or the rule isn’t clear to me yet.  I didn’t really see why I had to decide, I was fine not having a specific designation.

The mood was heightened around the dorm. An excited buzz. A lot of nerves were on display and it was my job to make sure the outfits were prepared and fitting everyone correctly. 

I tried my own on first.  This concept was so different from anything we’d ever done before.  What I was wearing was essentially a man’s outfit tailored and treated for a woman’s body.  It came complete with a tie and had several layers to it. Grey, on black, on white…

I was just securing the tie when Tiffany came in.  She watched me for a moment before intervening.

“You’re doing it wrong.” She said, taking it out of my hands.

Her smile was such that I knew there was something behind it.

“...You make a nice looking man.” She said, grinning.  I smirked.  When she was done with the tie she tucked it under my jacket and appraised me.

“I think you should keep it out though.” She said, pulling it back out and using it to yank me close for a quick peck.

Not a bad idea…

“Where’s my outfit?” She asked.

“The white one.” I said, pointing to one of the outfits bagged and hanging in my closet.

“All white..?” she said pulling it out. 

“No.” I said, pulling out another bagged hanger. “This goes over it.” 

She started changing and I excused my eyes back to the mirror to give myself a once over.  It’s funny because when we were younger we used to change in front of each other all the time and it was no big deal.  To Tiffany, it still appeared to be no big deal but to me… I just saw more to it now.  

I guess you can call me traditional...

Tiffany’s outfit was a long sleeved white dress shirt with a collar and white shorts.  Over the dress shirt there was a tan vest that was shaped like a corset. 

“Can you help me tie this?” She asked.

I walked behind her and tied the vest behind her back.  I glanced up to look at her in the mirrors reflection and everything looked okay.  I helped fold her collar more evenly and straightened out her sleeves.

“How do you feel?” I asked.

“It’s fine.” She said, straightening out the shorts a bit.  “The shorts are a little tight.”

I almost fell over dead when I looked down to see what she was talking about.

“Fany-ah, you can’t perform in these.” I breathed.

“Why not?” She turned to me.

“They’re too…”

Short.  Tight.  Spectacular.

She looked over her shoulder to see for herself.

“Wow.  I can see my cheeks.” She said slowly.

I just nodded and bit my lip.  Tiffany's legs and were by far the best in SNSD, bar none.  A whole new side of my uality became aware to me as I stared at her... assets.

There was a burning in my stomach again that resonated throughout me. I shuddered at its impact. 

?  What do I know about ?  Nothing.  Just... that I had an overwhelming urge to her. 

I didn't want to gape at her as I was … Okay.  I totally wanted to look and I did.  As inexperienced as I was, I knew that the very definition of 'y' was in plain sight, right in front of me, within arm's reach.

I forced my eyes away and took a deep breath, feeling dizzy.  I never considered myself a ert, and I actually felt pretty dirty about my behavior of the last few minutes.  Worse yet, when I looked back up to Tiffany's face I found her eyebrows resting high upon her forehead.  She looked amused, but accusing all the same.

Caught in the act.  I looked guilty.

Surprising me, she took my hands and placed them around her, directly onto her .  She watched my face very closely for any changes, as if she was merely doing a science experiment. 

“Yours.” She smiled.

I puffed out my cheeks and patted her awkwardly, proud of myself for having enough restraint not to grab it and trying to regain my composure.  

With the importance of our comeback looming so close, the last thing I should be doing is thinking about my girlfriend's .

“Sorry.” I said quickly. “I’ll call the tailor.”

The day went on without a return call.  I was starting to panic.

Sitting in the waiting room, I was clutching my cell phone anxiously.  Tiffany doesn’t seem as nervous.

“I can still move fine.” She said, and that was great, but I don’t really want everyone out there to be staring at my girlfriend's .  This was likely to cause controversy if she went out there like that...

Bottom line is, it was racy, even for Kpop.

We weren’t eligible to win this week and the award went to Kim Hyung Joong, but I was very pleased with how the crowd responded to us.  I finally felt home again on the stage in my native land.  Don’t get me wrong, the Japanese fans were fantastic but there was just something extra special being on that stage again where it all started. 

When we got home, we congregated in the living room for our comeback tradition.  Whenever we came back, we’d go home when it was all over and monitor the responses.  Maybe, being four year veterans, you might think we’d have grown out of this but we always found our fan’s voices extremely important to us.  I collapsed on the couch and everyone else came in.  When there wasn’t a seat left, Tiffany ended up on my lap.

“Looks like they enjoyed it...” Sica said with a grin. 

She was browsing through our official fan site.  She typed in the web address of a popular kpop news website.  There was a picture of us at the very top with the heading “SNSD’s Strong Return.”  She clicked on it.

Tiffany smiled at me while we waited for it to load; she looked tired, but happy.

"Did we have any mistakes?" Yoona asked.

Hyoyeon pointed at Sunny.  Sunny grinned.

"Almost fell." Sunny said.

"What? How?" I asked.

"She forgot how to walk." Hyoyeon laughed.

"Aigoo." I chuckled.

"Ahh, it feels so good to be back doesn't it?" Yuri said happily.

Jessica started laughing loudly.  I looked around a little confused, wondering if this was just one of her many delayed reactions, but my attention was drawn to the laptop Tiffany was now pointing at.

At the very top of the page was a picture of Tiffany and myself.  She was ahead of me, singing.  My eyes were down, pointing directly towards her backside with a pretty satisfied look on my face.

“Omo...” Tiffany started clapping.  Thsis was one of those cases in which she claps instead of laughing.

Sunny wore an expression like Christmas came early.

The rest of the article didn’t actually refer to the picture at the top, there were several pictures they could have chosen to head it but some fool had to pick this one.

Jessica scrolled down to the comments and I saw things like,“Taeny is stronger than ever, I see.” And “You know Taeyeon's thinking, 'that's mine when I get home!'”

I deflated a little. Our very first outing back and I couldn't even keep my thoughts professional.  Well, technically they were professional if you realize how much trouble I tried to go through for those shorts today but looking at this picture would give you all the wrong ideas. This would add another notch to my 'Byuntaeng' counter.  I really wascompletely innocent... this time.

I sulked a little while the girls moved onto youtube.  I was hardly paying attention at this point.

“Look at how green the map is. I’ve never seen it like that before.” Sooyoung was saying, pointing at the screen.

I felt a hand lift my chin and I pouted my lips up towards Tiffany. 

“Don’t be mad.” She whispered.

I laughed it off but in the back of my head I knew I had to be more careful in the future.  I wanted to protect Tiffany and our relationship from going public.  Tonight just taught me it wasn’t going to be easy considering a good portion of our fans have considered us dating for years.  They’ll be looking for every single little glance and motion we make towards each other.

It was essential to be more careful...