In my mind, I was playing a spectacular drum solo on my knees as they bounced anxiously and the cityscape passed us by.  I wanted the van to go faster.  Surely, the drive from the airport to the dorms must have elongated since I’d been gone.   

Apparently in my distraction, I’d gotten carried away and captured Yongjun’s attention from the front seat.  He turned around to look at me with raised eyebrows, I smiled sheepishly in response.

“You’re going right back to Japan tomorrow, I don’t see the point in you even coming home.” He smirked.

“There’s a very big point.” I nodded, my knees still jittering out of control. 

I saw him smile as he turned back to face forward again, knowing he understood my plight.  I pulled out my phone to occupy my hands in a less obnoxious way and scrolled through all the pictures Tiffany had taken for me.  My favorites in particular were the ones in which she was lying in our bed with so much longing in her eyes, her hair fanned out perfectly across our pillow. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to be hot for me but she came off pretty y whether or it was intentional or not. Her soft lips... her loving eyes... they made me weak even to look at. 

My four day vacation from others had gone by quicker than I had expected, all things considered, but I was still ready to jump out of the car to run home when we got stuck in traffic.  I compared the wait to being shoved into a cage and having ice cream dangled in front of me just out of reach. I missed her so much it hurt.

I practically clawed the door of the van open when we parked and jogged inside the building, teetering slightly from the weight of my luggage.  I grinned at myself in the reflection of the elevator doors as I looked something similar to a child that was anticipating a visit from Santa Claus.  I walked the last few steps and found the door, as I expected, unlocked. 

When I opened the door I found Seohyun standing at the sink.  She smiled hugely when we met eyes and I walked into her arms happily.

“Unnie, welcome home!” She said, hugging me tightly.

“Thank you.” I said. “Are you well?”

“Yes.” She nodded and patted me on the shoulder.

“Good, good.” I said over my shoulder as I entered my room.

It was empty.

Besides it being ten times cleaner than it was before I left, it was absolutely untouched.  I set my bag down and frowned to myself as I turned back to look for her in other parts of the house.

“Taeyeonie!” Yuri said coming from behind me and putting arm around me.

“Hey.” I smiled up at her.

“When did you get home?” She asked, walking me down the hall.

“I just walked in the door.” I said, looking around for the others.

“Ah.  I don’t think Fany’s home yet.” She mused

“…Is she out?” I asked, disappointed.

“Yeah, she and Sooyoung went for lunch, I think.  They shouldn’t be long.” She said, pushing open Sunny and Jessica’s door.

“Look what I found.” Yuri grinned down at me.

“Oh my darling!” Sunny yelped in a high pitched, over the top, aegyo induced burst. She jumped out of bed and into my arms, forcing me to lean against the door to stay upright.

“Ogenki desu ka?” She asked.

“Yeah, yeah…” I chuckled, hugging her back. I’d heard enough Japanese in the last few days.

“Was your concert a success, Taeyeon-ah?” Jessica asked, laying the magazine she was reading open on her lap.

“I think so.” I smiled. Yuri sat on the edge of Sunny’s bed and I moved to sit next to Jessica.

“You got really good reviews.” Jessica smiled.

“Did I?” I asked.

She nodded. “It was on the internet.  We listened to you sing as well, it was beautiful.  You got emotional?”

“I…”

I was very pleased with my performance, though I did let my emotions get the better of me.  When I was standing on stage by myself, I came to the realization that the lyrics of the song and the person I was thinking of while I was singing them coincided almost exactly. 

It was the first time I ever sang a love song like that and felt truly qualified to convey such a message.  It was so much more powerful to have someone in your heart to sing it to.

“It’s okay.” Jessica said, putting her head on my shoulder before I could form a response. “We all know you missed us.”

I smirked at her misdirection, unsure whether it was intentional or not.

“I did.  I missed you all.” I said. “How are things around here?”

“Oh, we completely fell apart without you.” Sunny quipped.  “Seohyun has been blackout drunk since you left.”

“Unnie!” Seohyun said indignantly with a gaping mouth from the doorway.  I laughed.

 “Eesh! It’s just a joke!” Sunny yelled as Seohyun walked away. “No, to be honest, it was kind of boring.”

“It couldn’t have been as boring as being all alone in a foreign country.” I argued.

“You’re exaggerating. You were just lovesick.” Sunny said.

“Mmmhm!” Yuri agreed. “Even if we were all there with you, except for Tiffany, you would have still been miserable.”

I silently disagreed.  While I wouldn’t have been jumping off the walls joyous at Tiffany’s absence, having the others there would have made a world of difference to me.  Human contact, safety in numbers, somebody who speaks the language better than I…

“So cute.” Sunny said, gauging my expression as I took Yuri’s accusation entirely more seriously than she obviously intended. 

“You make a really good girlfriend, Taeyeon-ah.” Jessica said softly, turning a page in her magazine.

I looked up at Sunny quizzically and she smirked at me.

“No, she’s right.  We were all talking about this earlier.” Sunny said.

Yuri nodded stiffly.

“You were all talking about how good of a girlfriend I am?” I asked skeptically.

“You’re really sweet to her.” Sica muttered. 

“Yeah, Sica told us all what you did for Christmas.” Sunny beamed at me.  “You’re really getting good at this relationship stuff.”

“Yeah.” Yuri laughed once without humor. “Maybe you can give me some advice.”

“Me too.” Sunny said.

“But I got all my advice from you.” I pointed at Sunny, slightly alarmed.

“Oh yeah!” Sunny grinned smugly.

Jessica sat up and removed her head from my shoulder to set the closed magazine on the floor beside her bed

“I’ve been in longer relationships than you two have been together and I’ve never been treated like a princess like you treat Tiffany.” She said blankly.

“Well usually after the first or second month it starts getting boring doesn’t it?” Sunny said sagely, “But those two just seem to get stronger as time goes on.”

I felt a little uncomfortable sitting here and listening to them talk about me like this as if I wasn’t there.  I wasn’t exactly angry, but I didn’t like how they were analyzing every little aspect of my relationship, though I should expect this by now.  They’ve done this since the very beginning…

“You just haven’t found the right person.” Yuri said, looking at Jessica.  “Fany and Taeyeon have known each other for ages.  Of course they’re going to have a stronger bond; that is a huge advantage.”

“Yes, but that’s cheating.” Jessica put a finger in the air.

“Compatibility is important, too.” I muttered, deciding to remind everyone that I was still there.

“Yeah, Maybe ‘uptight Kpop boyband-er’ isn’t the right type for you, Sica.” Sunny smirked.

“Fine. So where am I going to find someone that I’ve known for years that I’m completely compatible with?” Jessica glared at Sunny.

It was silent for some time. Nobody seemed to have the answer Jessica wanted.  I watched Yuri closely, noticing a certain familiar behavior from her.  She scratched her head thoughtfully and let her eyes fall to the ground.  I was recognizing her awkward acting.

Not to say that she was a bad actress or anything, but I could always recognize it when she wasn’t being completely truthful, or trying to fool someone.  I knew she felt she couldn’t look any of us in the eyes and get away with deceit.

“Well…” Yuri said slowly. “You can’t pretend like it’ll never happen just because it hasn’t yet, Jeshica. Maybe you should just try to be more aware of your surroundings.  Maybe someone you know very well likes you a lot and you don’t know it.”

… I didn’t understand why she was acting like this, but behind her I did see Sunny’s eyes light up.  She was staring at the back of Yuri’s head.

“Fat chance.” Jessica said.

was a line once more.  She stared at her bed expressionless.  Jessica was so unreadable to me. It’s strange how wide open Jessica’s eyes were and yet I could gather no information from them.  With Tiffany, every single thought and emotion she felt I could easily translate from her facial expressions.  Jessica gave me absolutely nothing to work with.

I had no way of knowing what was going on through her head.  But I did find it odd that she was showing signs of jealousy about my relationship when she never showed any desire to be in one recently.

I looked back to Yuri who was still staring at the carpet and back to Sunny who was looking between the two of them suspiciously.  I wanted so badly to have Sunny’s amazing thought process.

I felt Jessica’s head land back on my shoulder.

“Maybe I’ll just ask Tiffany if I can date Taeyeon, too.” Jessica… joked?

Sunny squinted suspiciously. 

Yuri’s entire body twitched convulsively, her head shot up instantly.

“You’d date Taeyeon?” Yuri blinked.

“Probably.  She knows how to treat a girl. Wouldn’t you?” Jessica asked.

And it was like someone had just reached inside my head and screwed in a light bulb that had somehow gotten loose.  As soon as the metal made contact with the conductors, I understood it.  I felt my face completely freeze over.

“I think... you’ve always been oblivious to these things, Taeyeon-ah.” Jessica said softly, becoming a straight line.

“Always?”

Always. 

I mouthed the word silently as that memory hit me like a ton of bricks.

Had I been stupid again? Oblivious?  Was there some sort of a sign that I was supposed to pick up?  Did she really just say… she’d date me? 

Sunny was staring at me.  She pointed covertly at Yuri and then to Jessica. Then she pointed to Jessica again and then to me.  She shook her head awestruck.

It was so silent that I could hear myself breathing.  I wanted to evacuate the premises.  I felt like I definitely shouldn’t be sitting in Jessica’s bed with her head on my shoulder after that little revelation, but I couldn’t move. 

I was relieved when I felt her head leave my shoulder again.

“What?” She asked, laughing once without volume at the idea of us taking her words so seriously.

“That’s quite a statement.”

My neck could have broken from the shear velocity at which I turned it when I heard her voice.  The clouds cleared from my mind immediately and a beautiful light was radiating once again, refracting through the air and casting a hundred different colors in every direction, yet landing directly on Tiffany’s face that I hadn’t seen in so long…

But her beautiful face wasn’t looking at me.  And the more I stared at it the more I realized it was angry; enraged. 

I went to her quickly and it wasn’t until I was standing right in front of her that she let her eyes fall to me.  She quickly pulled me into a kiss and held me tightly.  The kiss was longer and deeper than I would usually allow in front of an audience, but I’d hungered for this moment for so long, and I was so relieved she showed up at just the perfect time, that I allowed it.  It was like my knight in shining armor had come to rescue me from this terribly awkward situation.

Only… my knight was a princess.

“Fany-ah, I missed you so much.” I said in a small voice when she finally released me. I stared intently into her eyes trying to convey that I held absolutely no approval towards what Jessica just said.  I wondered how long Tiffany was standing there; how much she’d heard knowing that the last bit could probably be taken way out of context.

“I missed you, too, baby.” She said quietly, patting me on the and letting her eyes flicker back to Jessica.

Tiffany pulled me beside her and stood partially in front of me defensively; as if she was protecting me.  I became alarmed when she took a step towards Jessica and hovered alongside her looking up into the side of her face and holding onto her wrist. 

Sunny was now alert and on her feet.

“So, you want to date, Taeyeon?” Tiffany asked evenly.  

Even if her voice was calm, her face looked dangerous.

My heart starting beating faster, it wasn’t often that there was a real base for a confrontation in the dorms.  Little fights here and there, nothing compared to how big this one had the capacity to be.  While I was a little scared, I also found myself marveling at Tiffany’s intensity.  Her protective side was impressive… to say the least.

“You like her, huh?” Tiffany asked. 

“She didn’t say that.” My mouth dropped open. My face was surely now burning red.

“I didn’t say that…”

“I know you didn’t.  I’m asking a question.” Tiffany took another step forward, ignoring my outburst. I gripped her wrist tighter.

“You have to be kidding me.” Jessica said.

“I’m not. Answer the question.” Tiffany’s voice was rising.

“Tiffany, I wouldn’t try and steal your girlfriend.”

“You don’t think I’ve seen how you’ve been acting? The way you look at her?”

The argument now moved into English and I struggled to keep up with it as they were shouting so quickly at one another.  Yuri was completely lost and watched on warily.  Sunny seemed to be following it better than either of us.

“You're supposed to be my friend.” Tiffany spat pointing a finger in Jessica’s face. “I would have never expected this from you!”

“… I didn’t act on anything, Tiffany, and I wouldn’t have.  Not as long as you were together.” Jessica gaped up at her.

That was pretty a much a confession to me.  I stared at Jessica completely stupefied.

“Were you waiting for us to break up?”

“No! Oh my god, all I said is that I wanted someone to treat me like Taeyeon treats you. That’s it! Stop freaking out!”

“Fany-ah…” I tugged on her sleeve.  She ignored me.

“Just admit you’re attracted to her. Just say it.” Tiffany demanded, shrugging.

“Why? So you’ll get angrier?” Jessica stood up.  Yuri shadowed her silently.

“No, I think I have the right to know.”

“Taeyeon is… an attractive girl, I think everyone here would agree with that.” Jessica folded her arms. “That doesn’t mean I’m going to try and betray you. I don’t even like… I mean, I date guys.”

Tiffany was shaking her head and glaring.  I looked behind us to see Sooyoung stuck in mid stride in the hallway anxiously.

“Come on.” I said, pulling Tiffany’s arm back.

“I know you won’t betray me.  I’d never let it happen.  She’s mine.” Tiffany said sharply.

Sunny stepped in to try and help me ease Tiffany out of the room with me.  It took some effort but we finally managed to get her into the hallway. I pulled the door shut behind us.

“Unbelievable.” Tiffany sighed.

She walked ahead into the living room alongside Sunny.  Sooyoung put her arms around me, using this time to welcome me home.

“I don’t think Jessica ever would have made a move on Taeyeon.  I think she respects your relationship.  She even helped you two get together.” Sunny mused with an arm around Tiffany. “I just think she’s attracted to the idea of Taeyeon, maybe not Taeyeon herself….”

 “… I still don’t like the way she looks at her.” Tiffany said.

“But you trust me, right?” I asked sadly. “I wouldn’t let anything happen either.”

Tiffany turned around and stared at me as if she was knocked out of a daydream.

“Omo… Tae, I’m so sorry. Come here.”  She held her arms out to me. “That was such a bad way to welcome you home.”

I felt relieved at her change in temperament and walked into them happily, instantly melting against her.

“Of course I trust you.  I just don’t trust her anymore.” She crooned into my neck.

Trust was an important thing in SNSD, I thought to myself.  This would have to be remedied quickly, but for now I just wanted to enjoy being held by her again. 

“Give me a few hours.” Sunny said thoughtfully, patting my shoulder. “I have some digging to do.” She returned to her room.

“How was your flight?” Tiffany asked me, keeping an arm around me and walking me back to our room.

“Uneventful.” I said, still watching her face.

She was controlling it very carefully into a more empty expression but I knew better.  I would wager that she was still pretty outraged. 

“Are you okay?” I asked her, crossing the room and leaning against our desk.  She came to a halt immediately inside the door and remained deep in thought.

“I can’t believe her.” She looked to me with a wounded expression. “Can you?”

“No, that was pretty shocking.” I said. 

Or maybe if I’d have been a bit more observant I could have seen it coming.  I didn’t know.  I wish I would have known, maybe I could have prevented that entire confrontation.

Tiffany sighed heavily and crossed the room to put her arms around me again.  I nestled my head into her shoulder and felt warm again. She lifted me slowly to rest me on the edge of the desk and positioned herself standing between my legs.

“You don’t want her, right?” She breathed.

“I am right where I want to be.” I looked at her partially amused.  I was wondering what she was trying to achieve with this position.

“I had to ask.” She frowned.

My smile faded when I realized how hard she was taking this.

“Remember a few months ago I had a dream similar to this and you thought it was ridiculous? It still is.  I only want you.” I said soothingly, feeling terrible that she was taking this so badly. 

I enjoyed defensive Tiffany, but I’m not sure her outburst was exactly warranted yet.  Yes, Jessica made things extremely awkward again but it’s not like she tried to kiss me or anything.  She seemed more confused and lonely than anything else, to me at least.

“I just feel uneasy.  I really hope Sunny’s right.”

She hung her head low in front of me, her beautiful face was troubled.  I didn’t know what more I could do besides giving her reassurance.  I ran my hands along her biceps up to her shoulders and back down again.

“Sunny is usually right, and well… Yuri was acting strangely.” I said.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t ask me.” I said. “I’m usually the last person to catch on to those things but I just have this weird feeling that Yuri likes her.  Likes her likes her, you know?”

Fany’s eyes grew huge.

“… And Jessica?” She asked.

“I… don’t think she’s caught on yet.” I said.

Now she looked doubtful.

“Did I overreact?  I probably should have gotten more information out of her before I attacked her…” 

“Maybe.” I smiled.  “But I kind of enjoyed you protecting me though. It was uhh… kind of hot.”

She smiled for the first time.

“I missed you so much.” She chuckled, leaning into my neck.

“I missed you too!” I clapped her shoulders. “And... I got you something.”

I tried to slide down off the desk as best I could with the little room she gave me. She didn’t budge either.  It only made her smile more and hold me closer as I tried to inch around her.  She only let go of me when I made my way back to my bag.

“You have to close your eyes.” I said, bending down and sifting through my stuff inside of it.

Her hands were on my the instant I bent over.  I jumped a little and bit my lip trying not to let her distract me, but her hands drifted down my thighs and back up again.  It felt nice to be wanted in this way.  When she gripped my hips tightly from behind and pulled me back against her, I stood up straight again

“What’s gotten into you?” I asked with controlled amusement.

“…I was hoping you would.” She laughed.

“I would, what?” I asked looking up at her, perplexed.

She took a deep breath and rolled her eyes smiling brighter.

“Never mind, beautiful.” She said contently pulling me close again.

“I missed this .” She patted it again. ”Four days is such a long time to go without...” 

“Really? You can’t use that excuse before I go and after I come back.” I said, reaching around her to pull the chair out from the desk and pushing her to sit in it.

“Why not?” She looked up at me, scandalized.

“Close your eyes.” I demanded.

“Alright, alright.” She said, closing her eyes.

I sat across her lap and reached into the small white gift bag pulling out the new chain.  I slid it around her neck and pushed her hair to one side so I could secure the clasp.

“Omo, another necklace, Tae? You need to stop buying me stuff, I mean I like jewelry but it’s too pricy and-“

I rolled my eyes.  Was money really an issue for either of us?  Nope.

“This is special.” I said, centering the charm on her chest before pulling out my own necklace I was hiding underneath my shirt.

“Ready?” I bit my lip. “Open.”

She opened her eyes and looked first into my eyes warily before looking down at her new necklace…

“Oh… but mine is…Tae… this is new.” She stammered.

“They’re exact replicas.” I said, holding up my new platinum key and tapping her matching lock with it.

Her eyes were darting back and forth between our necklaces.  She was speechless.

“Tae…”

“These won’t get damaged.” I smiled.

She took the charm out of my hand and started fumbling with her lock.  We both watched with our foreheads resting against one another’s as she slid my key into her lock and she turned it with a click.

“Fully functional.” I beamed.

Her lock swung open freely before she clicked it shut again between her thumb and forefinger.  She left my key hanging out of the bottom and looked up into my eyes in wonder.

“This is so special.” She said.

“Just like you.” I snorted at my own cheesiness.

She blinked and I was staggered when I saw two thick streams of tears run down her cheeks.  I gasped and quickly tried to brush them away, only they were reinforced with another wave.

“Ah… No, Fany! Why are you crying?”

“Tae, nobody’s ever done anything like this for me before. Everything you do, you’re so, so sweet. And I came home after not seeing you for four days and started a fight.  I feel so stupid, that was so insecure of me, I don’t know what happened, I just lost it…”

“Fany-ah, you’re always sweet to me.” I croaked.  This wasn’t going at all as I hoped it would.

“Th-Thank you.” She said, sniffing and wiping her face. “This is so beautiful.”

I pulled the original damaged lock out of the bag and handed it to her. She compared them side by side happily before pulling me into a sweet kiss.

It was a different kiss than the one she gave me earlier.  This one was more familiar to me, it was exclusively mine.  Earlier, I think she was kissing me to throw up a force field as if to protect me from a threat she detected, whereas this was actually romance. She broke it softly and continued kissing all over my face. I relished in it, but eventually she sighed and her body slumped once more.

“I need to talk to Jessi.” Tiffany pouted, letting her face fall into my chest and speaking against it, almost unintelligibly.

“You don’t have to, yet.” I said, running a hand through her hair.

“The sooner the better.” She said, looking up at me.

I stood up and helped her up as well, walking her to our door.  I yelped when I was tugged along with her. She stopped when she felt the pressure around her neck pull her back.  My key was still securely within her lock and we got quite a laugh out of it.  At least it showed how strong the chains were that I chose.  I had to admit I was still very pleased with myself about this gift.

“Just hear her out, it was probably a misunderstanding.” I said, when we’d calmed down. 

“Yeah.” Tiffany said, biting her lip and looking amused.

“Tae you have lipstick… all over the place.” She motioned her hand in front of her face, laughing.

“Wonderful.” I grinned.

She kissed me once more. “I’ll be back soon.”

I watched her walked down the hall and it took me a moment to realize where exactly on her my eyes were focused.  Tiffany had on these really amazing tight shorts that displayed every single muscle that she was using while she walked.  I eventually turned red and walked into the bathroom.  I never thought I’d be that person that watches their significant other’s best ets when they know they won’t be caught doing so, and I had to admit it did feel pretty nice being liberated about my uality now. 

Four days apart made me aware that I did indeed have a drive...

When I looked into the mirror, I thought it was a miracle Tiffany still had any lipstick remaining on her lips.  I the faucet and started washing it off, cupping water in my hands and pouring it onto my face. While I was bent over the sink I heard the other sink beside me turn on. 

After I wiped myself with a towel, I looked over to see Yuri staring at me.  She looked away when we made eye contact.

“What?” I said.

“No, it’s nothing.” She said, more to herself than to me. “It’s not a big deal, Yuri.” She continued talking to herself, putting on a foundation while she spoke.

She was angry with me and I didn’t want to spend the next half hour trying to get the reasoning out of her.

“Are you going somewhere?” I asked.

“Why?” She stopped to look at me again.

“Well, you’re putting makeup on-”

“I can’t just look nice around the house?” She asked me, clearly affronted.

I exhaled slowly and pulled the bathroom door shut.  I put the towel on the counter and sat upon it, looking at her.

“Go on, what do you have to say to me?” I asked.

Yuri took a deep breath and stared at the ceiling. I watched her as she searched for words.

“You threw Sica under the bus.” She finally said.

“Oh really? How did I do that?”

“You were being all nice and comforting to her until Tiffany showed up, you left her instantly.”

“Well don’t you think that’s an odd thing for her to tell me? That she would date me?” I asked.

“She didn’t mean it like that.” Yuri said, fiercely. “She’s… confused. She sees the way you guys are and she wants that for herself.”

“Did she tell you that? Because it sure seems like she pretty much admitted that she liked me-“

“No.” Yuri said, not wanting to hear it.

She was so focused on the mirror now that I thought this must be her way of dismissing me. 

I wasn't going to take her bait, I decided to test her.

“Well, I think she likes me.” I said.

“You’re wrong!” Yuri said.

“Do you know that?” I asked.

“…No.” Yuri said with an unmistakable pout on her face.

I decided to go to for it.

“Yuri, do you like Sica?” I asked conversationally.

“I-What?” Yuri asked, finally breaking her staring match with herself to look at me.

I smiled.

“Sica.  You like her.” I stated.

Yuri shook her head.

“It’s okay, I can tell.” I said.

She was speechless so I decided to touch up my own makeup for Fany.

“You should tell her.” I said.

I didn’t think she was going to answer.  I could feel her staring at me but I just went about my business.  I wasn’t going to force her to do anything one way or another. I just wanted the idea of me figuring her out, me of all people, to sink into her brain a little bit.  Now that Sunny was onto her she was pretty much done for.  

When I was done, I turned for the door.

“…I can’t do that.” She said.

I turned around slowly to face her and raised my arms.

“Yuri… look where it got me.” I said simply.

I looked at her meaningfully before went to the living room.  I really hoped my triumph would give her some courage. 

I thought about it deeply and I think even the worst possible consequences wouldn’t outweigh the reward I’ve garnered for my courage.  Back then, I didn't have any idea what I was missing out on but now that I’ve lived this life, I couldn’t imagine living without having this powerful, unconditional companion with me. 

That one inconsequential night that started out like any other day changed my life forever and I knew I couldn't simply tell Yuri that and expect her to understand it.  It was something she'd have to learn for herself.

I found Sooyoung and Hyoyeon on the couch in the living room and opted to just lie across them than walk all the way to the other side to take the empty seat.

They didn’t really seem to mind.

“I took very good care of your woman.” Sooyoung said to me, messing up my hair.

“She did.” Hyoyeon agreed.

“Was she sad?” I asked.

“She did well.” Sooyoung said. 

“She didn’t have time to be sad.” Hyoyeon said.  “Sooyoung wouldn’t leave her alone long enough to think about it.”

I grinned.

“Yeah, I even slept with her the first night.” Sooyoung grinned. “That only lasted one night though.  Your girlfriend is a cuddler, I didn’t get to sleep at all.”

I laughed.

“Really? She cuddled up to you?” Hyoyeon asked.

“She nearly suffocated me.” Sooyoung said. “She was asleep when she did it so I guess she thought I was Taeyeon.”  Sooyoung looked at me.  “I don’t know how you do it.”

“It’s nice.” I smiled.

Hyoyeon picked up my legs and got up, walking into the kitchen.  Sooyoung moved over and I sat up next to her.

“That girl… all she does is talk about you.” Sooyoung said adoringly.

I leaned my head upon her shoulder.

“Thank you for taking such good care of her.” I said.

“Of course.” She said. “I’m happy I got to get closer to her.”

I am… so very lucky to have Sooyoung in my life.

“So… Jessica huh?” Sooyoung asked warily.

“Yeah, I don’t know. Fany’s talking to her.” I said, rubbing my eyes.

She nodded slowly. “I didn’t see that coming.”

I was glad I wasn’t the only one.

Yuri came out then and sat beside me silently.  Her makeup was perfect.  She leaned her head on my shoulder and I looked down at her.  She was breathtakingly beautiful, but unmistakably miserable at the same time.  I used my hand to force her facial muscles into a smile. 

Tiffany came walking into the room and smiled at me.

“How’d it go?” I asked, getting up and crossing the room to her.

“We’re good.” She said, rubbing my shoulder. “You should go talk to her.”

“Me?” I asked, surprised, thinking I was the last person she’d want alone with Jessica.

She nodded, smiling reassuringly and pushing me. “She’s worried about you being mad at her.”

“Right.” I said, scratching my head as I approached Jessica’s door warily. 

I knocked once on her door and pushed it open.

She was still sitting on the same spot of her bed where I’d last left her, only known her eyes were red, a little puffy.  She smiled at me apprehensively when she saw me.

“Hey.” I said, biting my lip and closing the door behind me.

She took a deep breath.

“Hi.” She said.

I sat awkwardly on the end of her bed.

“Are you alright, now?” I asked her.

She nodded.

I nodded too.  We were both looking in different directions.  I think this is the first time in my life when I’ve been at the center of a… love triangle or whatever you would call this.  It was like walking a fine line and I knew I had to choose all of my words very carefully.

“I’m sorry…” She said softly.  “Are you mad?”

“No…” I said.  “Just a little confused.”

“I guess I was, too.  I didn’t mean to hurt either of you.” She said.

“No harm done.” I patted her foot.

She stared at me deeply.  Her eyes were still moist and I could see traces of mascara encircling them. 

“You guys are so lucky to have each other.” She said.

“Come here.” I said, patting beside me.  She scooted closer to me and I put an arm around her.

“You aren’t alone, we’re all together.  We all have each other.  I’m always here for you, Fany too” I said, using my thumb to clean the makeup off of her eyelids. “We’re a team.”

She laughed out of what seemed like relief.

“It’s… silly isn’t it?”

“A little.” I grinned.  “But I know what it feels like.  If that’s how you felt about me then I guess it wasn’t silly to you.”

“I don’t know what I was feeling.” She sighed.  “I guess I’m attracted to you but I don’t know how… I mean… I’ve never liked a girl before.” Jessica said, looking distant. “How do you know if that’s right for you?”

“I still don’t know.” I smirked.  “Just… take on a person by person basis.  It makes things less complicated.  But I'm sorry Sica, I'm not the one for you.”

“I know.” She nodded fervently, "And I would have never tried to come between you."

“There's someone out there for you." I said.

Yeah, out in the living room. It wasn't my place to say...

"… Keep your eyes open.” I said, puffing out my cheeks. “You never know where you might fall in love.”

“Yeah.” She smirked. “I’ll try.”

“I mean it.” I said, looking at her seriously.

She nodded vaguely.  I wondered if Sunny already had words with her about Yuri or not…

“Let’s join the others.” I said taking her hand and leading her out into the busy living room. 

I found Tiffany in the kitchen preparing dinner.  I walked up behind her and rested my head on her shoulder.

“Everything good?” She asked.

“Yeah, I think so.” I said.

We both watched Yuri staring intently at Jessica.  She unfolded her legs when Jessica came to stand in front of her, as if inviting her to sit on her lap since the couch was full.  It was actually quite cute being on the other side of this and getting to watch the possibility of a relationship blooming.  Sica sadly still looked oblivious to Yuri though, instead conversing with the others animatedly.

“Yulsic, huh?” Sunny asked, leaning in close to us.

“I hope so.” Tiffany said.

“Give them some time.” Sunny said optimistically.  She left into the living room and nonchalantly pushed Jessica down to sit on Yuri’s lap. 

Yuri looked positively alarmed.

Tiffany chuckled.

“Sunny should be a matchmaker.” She said softly, cutting into some vegetables.

“Mmm.” I grunted, noticing we were the only two left in the kitchen.  I let my hands fall to Tiffany’s backside as it was shielded from the others view behind the counter.

Her body stiffened at my touch as I felt every curve and contour I’d missed so dearly in the last four days. 

“Tae…” She whispered.

I grinned, using my hips to push her hard against the counter.

She looked over her shoulder and rose an eyebrow at me. Very deliberately, she dropped the knife she was holding onto the kitchen floor.

She pushed back against my hips to make room and bent over very slowly in front of me to pick it up.  I had a perfect view of her amazing S line and her y stomach as it came into view under her short shirt.  I fought very hard not to let my eyes roll as she straightened back up against me, her back arching spectacularly.

She turned around biting her lip and winking at me, using her hand to close my mouth.

“Have some self control, Tae.” She said softly, pecking me softly before walking to sink.

I watched her completely blown away as she cleaned the knife.  It was like she was taunting me.

Given her track record, I hardly felt she had any footing to be saying that to me.