BTS’ first mission is a disaster.

    Jungkook is a monster. Yoongi gapes at him, terrified, as he ruthlessly mutilates the masses of X.E. agents, his knives slicing through their bodies like they are mere slabs of butter. There is blood everywhere and all Yoongi can see is red and his heart is pounding so, so hard because this is what the 4 Flames is, this is his destiny, this is what he is going to do when he goes on missions and he cannot take it anymore and all he can think about is Lina, beautiful, smiling Lina, looking up at him like he is the best person in the world, with adoration and admiration in her eyes, and holy , he feels disgusted with himself, because this is what he truly is, this is what he will become.

    “Jungkook, I command you to stand down!” Namjoon shouts, panic rising in his voice. He was supposed to be in charge of this operation, the leader of the squad, but he cannot control the situation, he does not know what is happening, he had no idea about Jungkook’s true nature.

    And the revulsion and self-loathing rises up further and further in Yoongi’s throat as he continues watching Jungkook, and he can feel Taehyung trembling next to him, and he should be shaking, he should be scared, but he is not, and he is not fully aware of what he is doing as he raises the gun in his hands and shoots Jungkook square in the back.

    Jungkook is barely alive. Upper management has decided to quarantine him for treatment. In the meanwhile, BTS will be conducting missions without him.

    This is a brutal wake up call. Yoongi realizes now. His relationship with Lina is fake. He is using her. He does not like her. He needs her to complete his mission.

    He is a member of the 4 Flames before anything else.

    Yoongi realizes the true nature- the actual severity- of his job now.

    “Good afternoon, Yoon!” Lina exclaims, wrapping her arms around him.

    Yoongi forces the corners of his lips upwards. “Hello.”

    “I’m so excited! I love seeing holiday lights. Winter is seriously the best.”

    “Yeah.”

    Lina’s eyebrows furrow, and she looks up at Yoongi, perplexed. “Hey... is something wrong? You seem kinda... down.”

    He looks into her eyes- those innocent, happy eyes.

    He tears his gaze away.

    “Everything’s fine.”

    Yoongi goes on more missions with BTS. He feels a part of himself disappear for every shot he takes, every person he hurts. Every streak of blood he sees.

“Yoongi. Yoongi! Are you even listening to me?”

Yoongi blinks. His eyes refocus on Lina, who is sitting in front of him, staring at him with a look of frustration.

“What is it?” Yoongi asks in a clipped voice.

Lina wrings her hands in frustration. “What is up with you? Lately, you’ve been so weird.”

“Weird?”

“Like- I don’t know- you’re so cold and distant and... kinda mean.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Yoongi says robotically, and Lina clenches her teeth in frustration.

    And then she catches him digging through her parents’ files a week later and the truth spills out.

    Honestly, Yoongi knew that blantantly sneaking away to her father’s study was a stupid move. He knew that there was a high probability that she would catch him.

    But he could not bear to go on like this any longer. He wanted her to catch him.

    He tells her everything, punctuated with cruel, harsh laughter. He tells her how he’s in a gang and how her parents are in a gang, and how she would be a fool to think he ever liked her, how he just wanted to get close to her for information. Yoongi expects her to start crying, or to start screaming. But she merely stands staring at him, utterly still. Only when he looks into her eyes he can tell that something inside of her has broken.

    And that, Yoongi believed, was the last he would ever see of Lina Nguyen.

    When he returns to HQ, Yoongi throws down the files on his superior’s desk without a word. While he is storming out of his office, he runs right into a shoulder.

    “Yoongi,” Jimin murmurs. He peers at Yoongi in concern. “Hey, are you okay-,”

    “I’m fine,” Yoongi hisses, shoving past him.

    Jimin stares after his friend’s retreating figure. Yoongi is different now... and understandably so. He has changed since the day of their first mission, when he shot Jungkook in the back.

    Jimin is nervous.

    After Jungkook recovers, the upper level executives inform BTS that they will be moving to Brookhaven High School. The name sends a shudder of recognition through Yoongi. She went to Brookhaven Middle School. Will she be Yoongi’s classmate?

    No. Command would never send BTS to the same school as the heir to the Seven Stars’; that would be pure idiocy. Besides, Yoongi is sure that she moved after the calamitous events of his mission. He had heard rumors about her having a massive falling out with her parents, packing up, and running away. Yoongi doubts that the 4 Flames cares about Lina anymore anyway.

“Time for school!” Namjoon shouts, clapping Yoongi on the back. This time, however, he does not stumble an inch. “Come on, Yoongi. Perk up!”

“Whoa, look at the girls here.” Taehyung flashes a pretty upperclassman a wink, causing her face to turn bright red. “We’ve only been here for an hour and I’ve fallen in love with at least 9 chicks.”

“You’re so thirsty,” Jin scoffs, and then tentatively turns to Jungkook. “Feeling alright, man?”

Jungkook simply nods. His expression is tense. Yoongi warily eyes him. The “therapy” Jungkook was subject to was said to have worked, but he is still nervous. The last thing anyone would want is for Jungkook to suddenly lose control in the middle of school and hurt someone. That would bring disastrous consequences-

And then he sees her.

She is striding across the hall, backpack slung over a shoulder, books in one hand. She does not seem to have spotted Yoongi.

Lina Nguyen has changed.

Gone is the shy smile that always graced her lips. Her long black locks- which she always loved to wear down- have been chopped to her shoulders and dyed brown. Lina’s face looks like it has been hollowed out. She is terribly thin. There is a tense wariness that surrounds her, an oddly jaded look in her eyes.

And Yoongi feels a pang in his chest- not just because seeing her reminds him of how much he liked her, how much he’s missed her, how badly he wants to sprint up to her right now and wrap his arms around her and whisper sorry, sorry, sorry over and over again in her ear- but because he knows that the loss of all her happy innocence is his fault. He made her this way. He is responsible for her weariness, her new cynicism.

It breaks his heart. He does not deserve to, but he feels utterly wretched.

As if she senses Yoongi looking at her, Lina turns her head.

The two make eye contact across the hall, just for a moment.

It feels like a year’s worth of memories pass between them.

Just as soon as it happens, it ends. Lina walks away like nothing ever happened, nothing more than a twisted, furious half-smile betraying her thoughts. Yoongi is frozen looking at the same place long after she leaves.

“Hello? Hello?” Hoseok snaps his fingers in front of Yoongi’s face. “Earth to Yoongi? Are you there?”

Yoongi blinks.

“What do you want?” he snaps.

She’s as smart as he remembers.

But that is the only characteristic that Yoongi recognizes from the old days.

This Lina is quiet, reserved. She never smiles. She isolates herself from all but 3 people- an equally stolid black boy, some obnoxious Indian boy, a giggly Korean girl, occasionally another Korean girl who seems to have a permanent scowl on her face. Lina seems comfortable around them, if no one else.

By some cruel twist of fate, he has 4 classes with her. He sees her every single day for a majority of the time. Yoongi has to constantly hold himself back from going and talking to her. Sometimes he makes up the stupidest excuses to walk past her.

The rest of BTS does not know about Lina, of course. And Yoongi thinks he is doing a good job of hiding his knowledge of her from them. He is, actually. None of them catch on to anything- except for Jungkook. He stops Yoongi in the hallway one day, after Geography class.

“Lina Nguyen,” Jungkook says, in a quiet voice.

Yoongi stiffens. “What about her?”

“That’s my question to you.”

“Nothing. She’s nothing. I don’t know her.”

Jungkook simply holds Yoongi’s gaze for a moment, and then walks away. Yoongi is left staring after him, his heart pounding. Pity for Jungkook floods his senses. The only reason why Jungkook can understand him is because he’s as screwed up- no, even more screwed up than Yoongi is. He is more ed up than Yoongi can even dream of being. It is terrible.

Yoongi wonders if Jungkook will ever be okay.

Yoongi and his friends are walking to lunch one day when Yoongi suddenly notices Jungkook smirking at something in the distance. Jimin throws Yoongi a confused look; Yoongi shrugs, watching Jungkook in anticipation. The source of Jungkook’s glee is finally located when a tall, lanky girl walks past them, her nose buried in a book titled, Pro Java Programming. With a start, Yoongi recognizes her as the permanently angry Korean girl that Lina occasionally talks to.

With astonishment, Yoongi and the rest of BTS watch as Jungkook deliberately moves in the middle of the girl’s path. She bumps square into Jungkook, causing her book to fly out of her hands.

“Sorr- what the hell, Jungkook?!” the girl shrieks. “Get out of my way!”

“You didn’t say the magic word, Ami,” Jungkook tells her in a sing-songy voice.

“Okay, here are my magic words: off!”

Jungkook’s grin grows wider. “Wrong answer. Try again.”

“Shut up!” Ami swings her foot back and kicks Jungkook in the shin, causing him to yelp and hop around on a foot. All of BTS’ jaws simultaneously drop. Did some geeky, scrawny girl just cause Jungkook Jeon to scream in pain? And why does he look so happy about it?

“That’s right, Jungkook!” she shouts down at him. “That’s what you get! Screw you!” And she angrily stomps away.

Jungkook stares after her and Yoongi realizes that he hasn’t seen him look this happy in years. Since they were kids. Holy . Who was that girl? Yoongi stares after her in awe.

“W-What the hell was that?” Taehyung sputters. “Who was that? Can I get her number? And her autograph?”

Jungkook pretends to draw his fist back to punch Taehyung. “Stay away,” he tells him. “She’s mine.”

“Whoaaaa!” the six of them hoot at the same time, excitedly pinching Jungkook’s cheeks. “Our little baby’s all grown up! Look at your first crush! How adorable!”

“It’s not like that!” Jungkook protests, blushing. “I mean, she’s mine to mess with! That’s it! I don’t like her or anything! I swear!”

    “Aww, how cute,” Jimin chuckles. “Okay, Jungkook, whatever you say!”

    A grin spreads wide across Yoongi’s face. This Ami girl has brought out genuine cheerfulness that has long been absent from his friend’s face. He is grateful towards her for helping Jungkook.

    Yoongi likes Ami.